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I understand now why people some jump into any relationship that comes along. It's because they have to. It gives them purpose and strength. But more importantly, it staves of the loneliness. That horrible loneliness. I think that is also the reason that people start doing drugs. To get that high that can make everything feel better for a while.
All I do is work and come home. Work and come home. It's a stupid, boring routine that never gets any better. I have no friends outside of work friend or online friends. I miss having friends. I'm just so used to being alone that I have trouble making new ones. I stuck my foot in the dating pool for the first and only time. I made it to 3 dates with him. I just could not give into my feelings. If I had the relationship might have survived. It all feeds the loneliness. That dammed feeling can make the nights so very long.
Well that's enough for now.
Jessica Marie.
P.S. God I could kill for a beer. All I go is this crappy diet Pepsi.
Comments
You have friends here
And don't you froget it. Everyone goes through bouts of depresion and want to have friends that you can burden your feelings to, but that isn't the answer. Develope a relationship and then maybe good things can come from it. I don't know where you live, but if you want, send me a PM and maybe we can talk, Arecee
Thanks
Thanks for your concern. I live in the southren part of western NY. The only other person here near me(That I know of)is Cathrine L. Michel. Thanks for the offer to talk but to tell you the truth, I'm tired of talking on the computer. It's my job. I am a customer service agent. I talk with people over the internet. All the chating can get old fast.
Thanks again.
Jessica Marie
I know that loneliness far more intimately than I care to.
For me, it's hard to feel confident with a woman (and I am a lesbian) as long as I still have facial hair. I know some natal women have that, I know, but it just feels so BAD having it there. I would give anything to have someone to cuddle with, spoon with, hell even take a long walk with.
We're here for you, Jessica.
::big hug::
Lisa
Thank you.
I am bi-sexual. I love looking at women but I feel drawn to wanting to sleep with a man. Even though I'm not all that attracted to men. I have trouble with by bi feelings. It's like there are 2 wars inside me. One is man vs woman for my identity and the secone one is male vs femal for who I want to be with. It's a constant strugle on 2 different fronts.
Thanks again.
Jessica Marie
I really am right there
in the same boat as you are. Sitting here writing at this hour of the morning. I'm just looking for somebody who won't take me for granted, to cook for and cuddle with watch a movie with and falling asleep together with. Heck I'm Bi, so for me it's who the person is ans not what they are. It just isn't easy. I don't want to settle anymore. I settled last time and it ended with her not really giving a shit except about her life even after 5 years. It's even worse being alone in a relationship.
Bailey Summers
There are other solutions...
Rather than trying to find _one_ person to be with, find other things to do with your time.
Get a hobby - there are lots of hobbyist groups out there. You can talk with people with similar interests, and have something to do in the down times. Sewing, embroidery, knitting, crochet, wood turning, card tricks (and general prestidigitation), music playing (guitar, mandolin, banjo, bagpipes, for gods' sake!), there are lots of things that can be done by yourself, as well as involve others.
Find a church. I'm personally a pan-theistic solipsist, or maybe a militant agnostic with leanings towards a higher power, but even I understand that at the core, churches can be places for people to get together and simply _be_ with others. I wouldn't recommend the Pentecostals or Southern Baptists (they get pissy when you point out inconsistencies in their sermons and sunday school), but the Unitarians are pretty ecumenical, and I understand that the Quakers can be good as well.
Pick up a(nother) job. Rather than something where you are looking at paying the bills, get something you enjoy. Be a Wal-Mart greeter, volunteer at a hospital/nursing home/shelter.
Then, there's the last thing, which while simplest, may be one of the hardest of all for the folks here.
Go outside and just spend time in public areas, watching people, and being part of the crowd. County Fairs, the Zoo, free concerts and plays, sporting events, bike riding, and so forth. If you keep yourself physically active, you'll feel better mentally as well - that's probably a big part of _my_ personal issues: I need to exercise more.
Good luck!
BW
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Join a club or group
doing something you enjoy, but which won't cost you too much to start. It won't replace lost intimacy from a relationship, but it maintains social skills and who knows might provide opportunities to meet someone.
Angharad
Angharad
I know the feeling...
For me, it's because I'm a chronic introvert. When growing up, I always preferred to play alone - and since everyone on the street was a few years younger than me, there wasn't really anyone I could play with. Sure, I had school friends my own age, but they all lived in different parts of the village, and I rarely saw them outside school.
Fast forward to university, and I tag along to the student bars with others on my floor to try and be sociable, but it didn't really work. I discovered I was a 'lightweight' when it came to alcohol and didn't like having music pumped out at potentially tinnitus-inducing levels, where you shout at the person standing two feet away from you to make yourself heard (just about). I then discovered PCs, the internet and SimCity (I never was that fond of shoot-em-ups).
Fast forward to now, and I have a (rented) place of my own, but my only real interaction with people other than colleagues at work is what I'm doing now - sitting at my computer, typing away. For the most part I'm happy, but I still feel lonely from time to time - especially if out visiting an attraction, and feeling a little 'odd' at not having anyone to share it with. As Angharad suggested to you, one day I might get around to finding a club I'd be interested in joining, but I'll have to get a round tuit first...
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!