Jacqui doesn't know who she is until she sees what she does. Realizing that is one of the keys to understanding Jacqui's story.
She is put into a strange situation, which quickly becomes very stressful, and is given a new identity, which she doesn't really understand. It's one thing to play at crossdressing, as John had done, it's quite another to actually live as a woman, as anyone who has tried will tell you.
At the outset, Jacqui has no female identity and her male one is quickly wiped away. Plus, her world is being manipulated by others so it's not the regular world, with its rules of behavior that she is used to.
She is therefore forced to discover who she really is as she is confronted with all sorts of new experiences and is forced to respond to them. She doesn't get the time to think about what she'll do, she just has to do it. And that is how her character is reveled, both to her and to us. Her relationship with Kurt is one revelation after another to her, and the beauty is, she builds on what she learns and takes it further the next time.
Today's chapter winds the stress up really high, and at first she just decompensates. But she discovers that she's no weakling (unlike John perhaps — he turned to alcohol when things got really tough for him) and gradually begins to sort things out, even as things get tougher than ever.
Comments
Hmm. *Don't read this comment, to avoid spoilers*
I read the Jacqui story on StorySite, originally, and found it quite compelling. What I didn't agree with, and failed to comprehend, was the utter disdain and hatred from Carla -and slightly less from her sister- towards John.
It's been explained, somewhat, what constitutes the reasons for the resentment from Carla to John, in later chapters(?), but I feel these are shallow, inconclusive, and contradictory. I also fail to understand that a woman leading and tricking her male genderconfused partner into a female mimicry is considered a punishment, rather than a slant to her own sexe.
I disagree with the notion that John could've been considered a weakling, I sincerely think not. Stressed, and stretched beyond reason maybe, but surely not weak. Overly trusting and loyal to a fault, yes.
Anyway, this is a story of discovery, and ultimately about emerging from the cocoon, stronger and more beautiful then ever before. What's not to like?
Well... I found the ending of Jacqui totally unsatisfactory, in that I wanted the retribution on Carla and 'wottshername' to be far more detailed, excruciating, and degrading to those two foul specimens of human excrement.
The utterly hurtful betrayal of a love, build on trust, compassion, and understanding deserved a much more elaborate and extensive revenge than was laid out in the last chapter. I felt genuinely bereaved.
So if you've written a more detailed and extensive ending :) Please.. I'll be happy to read it. Thanks,
Jo-Anne