I just mailed this letter to my parents. I figure it's my birthday, why not?

I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just get right to it. Mom, Dad, I am a transsexual. I am transitioning from male to female now and should have done so 25 years ago at least. I debated bothering with telling you, I know that I am dead to you per your religion and have been for 23 years. You disapprove of me for simply being gay, so I’m pretty sure you’ll think this is worse. I actually wish I were just gay, it would have made things so much easier.

Well, you wanted to know what the big thing was that has me screwing up all my life and the answer is fighting against who I am, even later when I found love because he was very against me being me as well. Who would have thought that yawl would agree on that? You guys coming from religion and him coming from militant gayness! It’s kind of funny.

So after like 3 decades of self sabotage, I finally got up the guts to do what I should have done … Well, hell, the truth is I should have done it as a young child. I never had any doubts about who I was. I’ve known for as long as I can remember, and I’ve tried to be someone other than who I actually am for just as long. It damn near killed me.

I actually don’t care what you think about this, your opinion is irrelevant. I already know that everything about who I am and even about who you thought I was is so offensive to you that you do not consider yourself to have a son any longer. In a sense, that is true with one minor correction. You never did have a son, you had a younger daughter. You didn’t know it, or if you did you couldn’t handle it.

I could choose to be angry about that and resentful, and for a long time I was. I still have my moments. I won’t say I’m over that, but with the decision to transition and finally be myself on the outside as well as the inside, I find that a lot of the anger just fades and doesn’t really matter anymore. I guess you could say I’m over it.

Look, I didn’t write this letter to bitch, or to make you guys feel bad. I wrote it to ask you a very simple question. I very much want to know the answer.

What would you have named me if I had been born a girl? Keep in mind that I won’t necessarily take that name when the time comes. I do want to know though. I figure it this way. Regardless of any feelings or beliefs one way or another, you guys are my parents and you named me when I was born. I think it only fair that you should have first crack at naming me again. Please tell me it wasn’t Rebecca!

If you wish to answer, my email is. My phone # is. I would have emailed this but I can’t find your address.