The Chosen - Rethink

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

After I slept on things for a few days and had a large number of PM's from readers and writers, who want me to re-post the story, I am considering changing my mind on my decision to withdraw the story.

When I first put the story up, I received some negative feedback that worried me a bit. I think that some readers consider me to be perhaps a bit lightweight with my stories. I don't believe that, but that is the impression that I have received from a few commenter's and then I posted a story that was not a very comfortable subject and I received comments like, 'not up to my usual standard' and the like.

I like to stretch myself and not get into any form of comfort zone. The last thing I want is to churn out formulaic stories and that is why I like to stretch the little muscle between my ears sometimes by doing something slightly different.

As The Chosen is somewhat different from my other stories with a somewhat upsetting storyline, I think that some were uncomfortable with the plot. I understand that and this is why I put up a blog about it before posting the story.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, if you, the readers are happy for me to re-post the story, I will do so, but if the majority or a sizeable minority feel that it should not be posted because of the content or maybe because it sucks as a story, then I won't.

I leave it for you to decide.

Hugs
Sue

Comments

My vote is for you to

My vote is for you to re-post it. It may be a little disturbing in some aspects, but I've read far more disturbing stories and enjoyed them (And wrote one or two, as well!). Besides, you don't know how to write a bad story! :)

Saless 


Kittyhawk"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

Couldn't have said it better

Especially the last sentence :). Please continue to post this story as I am sure it will meet or exceed your previous level of excellence.

Hugs,

Sarah Ann

Your Blog

I say, repost. Yes, it is a bit different, but that's what makes it good.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I would love to see this story continue...

Andrea Lena's picture

...and would like to think I have company, yes? Thanks, dear heart for all of your work as a great author.

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Yes!

Company here! ^__^

Sue, The Chosen wasn't up to your usual standards. Rather, it showed every sign of exceeding them as you stretched your creative wings. The subject is hard, but you were approaching it, it seemed to me, with a great deal of careful though and great sympathy (as is very typical for you), but letting the strong impact carry through in your writing.

I was quite saddened to hear that you'd received such bad feedback that you'd pulled it, and I'm delighted that you're considering restoring the chapters you've finished, and continuing with more. Please, please! *begs on her knees* Pretty please?

*hugs!*, and thanks! *^___^*

-Liz

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Another "Yes" vote

If necessary, put a disclaimer at the top of each episode to discourage naysayers to read further, but please continue posting it.

After all, in the current first year of the girls school, we've so far met four characters (IIRC) - one is delighted, two are neutral, and one is depressed. If the school's circumstances occurred in reality ([deity of choice] forbid!), the mixture might be different, but when you're writing a story and dealing with a limited range of characters, it makes sense to cover as much of the spectrum of attitudes/emotions as possible, to give a rounded 'flavour' of the school and its students.

 
 
--Ben


There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Me some too!

laika's picture

I do hope you will repost and continue this intriguing series, I was really enjoying it. Good intelligent science fiction that does what SF does best: inventing a new technology or a change in the world and extrapolating all the things this would mean for society and individuals. I loved the way
all the backstory and futuregadgets were incorporated seemlessly into the events. The AI computers, the Sino-Indian war & everything.
While I love your contemporary stories, you also have a real knack for believable, character driven speculative fiction,
refreshing in a genre that sometimes suffers from wooden dialogue and two-dimensional characters.
~~hugs, Laika

.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU

Comfort Zones

Sue, I'm always trying to stay out of my comfort zone. However, the fans like what the fans like. It's one of the reasons that the big name authors make the big bucks; they write in a particular area/genre/zone/whatever you want to call it, and they stick with it. But it's also good to step out of that zone and write something totally unlike anything you've written before. It keeps them guessing and it stretches your field a bit.

Is the story uncomfortable? Admittedly, a little. But I'm guessing there is a valid reason behind what you are doing.

I'm also guessing the hubbub is surrounding the mental control of children. If done properly then it could still be a very good story, but there is that fine line. I suppose what I'm trying to get at is that if you can put up with a few people shaking their fingers at you until you reveal how you are going to deal with the 'controllers' then repost, but if it's going to get much worse, then expect there to be more finger wagging. (I'm not trying to "tell you" what to write, but I think I'm being realistic about what to expect.)

I think it's evident that the majority of those that comment at BCTS aren't big on forced transitions that end badly. That doesn't mean that it's a bad subject. Julie O has built her popular writing reputation on doing just that, but her characters, for the most part, always come out on top.

So, take all that as you will. I think you have a great imagination, and I like that you are stretching yourself, but don't write something that will be a muse killer for you if you are worried about the response you are going to get.

As an example: I've been writing tons of semi-original stories, but then I got it into my head to write a short series in the Whateley Universe. It has garnered some of the worst hit levels, votes, and comments of all of my stories. But I knew entering into this that I was writing for a very select audience. Not everyone wants to follow the story. That's fine. But it was something that I had to do, to stretch myself a little. I've received a lot of reviews, comments, emails, and PM's, to abandon the story and get back to writing what made me popular. I expected it.

It all boils down to how thick your skin is during the rough times. Good Luck! I say repost if you can.

~Lili

Blog: http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lilith_langtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I agree

A comfort zone is nice, but stretching yourself is too. Like Lillith said, post it back if you feel you can. I for one (among many, it seems) really want to read the rest of this story.

So glad you are reconsidering, Sue

Though your sci-fi story had disturbing elements it was exciting, engaging and frankly we as readers ha too little info to go on to guess where you were going.

Like you hinted, this would become a storie of risstatance and survival, I believe you said,

I suspect this government meant well but has F***ed up as so often govts do,

Perhaps the children become not only the saviors of humanity but of being human. If they can emerge as individuals and not parodies of individuals, they will not only produce offspring to repopulate the world but they will teach the world a lesson in what it is to be human.

If it turns out one, some or many of Phoenix process produce viable girls and thus a cure to the plague, that is but a bonus. That they were so abused and rose above it and perhaps got justice s well would be quite a story.

I'm sure your muse has it's own path in mind,

Go fort sue.

And Lilith, Sangria is top grade Whateley fanfic , even worthy of cannon status, or so says me, Joanie of Timeout, a Whateley fanfic from a Whately fan.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Yes Please

Frank's picture

If you are willing, I'll happily continue reading The Chosen and all your stories :)

Thanks and {{{HUGS}}}

Hugs

Frank

Re-post

Please consider re-posting. From what I think I remember you saying in your comments before you removed this fine story, the ending was going to be quite satisfying although the journey towards it was going to be difficult. Stretch yourself and show us. Please.

Hoist the petard!

PattieBFine's picture

and by all means, Post, Post, Post away!

I'm sure that we could find you a skull and crossed bones pic to post with it for the weak of heart to abandon all hope on reading it!

:-)

Pattie B

Hopefully

the comments i've just read matches the feedback you've been getting Sue, I hope you already know my thoughts on whether you should continue with The Chosen, But in case you missed it, Its a great big YES!!

Kirri

Yes, re-post The Chosen

Yes, re-post The Chosen, I'd love to continue reading it.

Kris

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

Repost, absolutely!!!

Was waiting to see where you were taking the story -- i never expected you to take it DOWN! *grin*

Randa

The CHosen

Please continue the story. I find nothing repulsive in it's story line. It as a plausible basis, in an s-f way, and should be continued.

I am really frustrated when stories stop without explanation of completion.

This is well written and is entertaining. What more do you want ?

I was finding the story

I was finding the story interesting and well written, and would love to see it continue. If you're willing to repost it, there will be many people happy to read it. There will also be some that would rather not read it, but for them, the answer is simple - don't read it.

YES

Linda Jeffries's picture

Sue,

Your story is well written and entertaining. It is also very plausible given the premiss of the tale. All stoties needn't be strictly PC to be of worth. I usually read the comments at the end of which ever story/episode I've just finished and see many where the commentor is trying to foist their political views upon the author. To my mind, that's bunk. Let the naysayers use their agency to not read that which they might find distasteful, discomfitting, or disagreeable, not to censure you, flail you, or dictate the direction of the story. It's your story to take where your imagination tells you. I'll stick with you as long as you keep entertaining me.

Keep up the great writing,
Linda Jeffries
Too soon old, too late smart.

Linda Jeffries
Too soon old, too late smart.
Profile.jpg

Bring It Back

I'm interested to see where you are going to take the story.

Me Too

I say re-post and continue. It is YOUR story and you can do what you want. I want to see how our heroine deals with what is confronting her. Knowing your writing (notwithstanding the comfort zone) she will find a way to win the day if not the war.

Please follow your heart and your muse wherever it leads.

As always,

Dru

As always,

Dru

please repost

my vote is that you would repost the story. I was enjoying the conflict displayed by the situation of the world, the characters involved and the different solutions different parts of the world were pursuing to shift the balance. I look forward to the continuation.

I say Yes!

Reposting it is a good thing to do. I enjoyed it and was genuinely interested where the story would lead. I think, many people who consider the story 'not up to your usual standard' are missing the point of the entire story and are judging it before knowing. Just... go look at TVTropes, it gives examples that there are quite many sharp turns that may happen before long.

{Put my foot in my mouth. Please forgive me Norma, I did not look at the date of your comment.} |Addition: I'm glad you reposted it Sue. However, I was genuinely aggravated when the first comment posted had, and I quote:

I'm sorry, Sue, but to me The Chosen is not up to your usual high standard.

What a way to greet a story returning.|
And I'm glad you reposted it Sue.

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

The Chosen

Yes!! Great story that is in a very different vien. With shades of "big brother" or "1984" in the background, you have started on a track that could be a future reality. Big government is capable of big stupidity - just look at the way many of them bowed before the fake science of extreme global warming. Mother earth is forever cooling & warming with oceans rising & falling. The Champlain sea stretched from the Lauentian mountains to the Catskills in lower New York state. The Artic ocean was apparantly once a medeterrian sea & all that oil, thousands of meters underground, was made from vegetable matter.

I look forward to following your story to it's conclusion. Thank you for providing me with the pleasure of being able to read your creativity.

A frequent reader but a seldom commentator.

"May the sun always shine on your parade."