The Chosen~Withdrawn

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

Please note that due to adverse comments and because of the subject matter, I have regretfully decided to un-publish the story.

I may return to the story at a later time, but at the moment I will not do so.

I apologise to all my readers as I hate not finishing the story which was to be one of resistance and fortitude but I am aware of the current sensitivity about minors in stories and I have taken the decision not to continue.

Hugs
Sue

Comments

Sorry to hear that

Hi Sue

There might be a current sensitivity about minors in stories, but you're one of my "trusted writers" and I know that you handle your characters carefully.

I didn't see the adverse comments (unless you were referring to one of mine about the forced aspect of the story). I'm sorry that you feel this way, and I hope that in time you do return to "The Chosen."

Positive Support

Please continue

shiraz's picture

Sue,

I have to agree with PS. I enjoy your stories and I found The Chosen to have a very innovative storyline. It is a story that I would have returned to without question.

I hope you will reconsider and that dissenters will also reconsider, particularly if they are not themselves authors.

 
Topsy
Mostly Harmless

- - - -

Paperback cover Boat That Frocked.png

missed opportunity

I had not yet started your story, I am sad that I missed the opportunity, just a thought for everyone, at times a work will look much different in the whole than in any one part, many fine stories are out there that could be considered very negative if seen by just a sound byte.

I understand

Sue, I deduced that there would be some resistance to the insidious intervention in the lives of these young people, and that they would eventually prevail.

However, I fully support your right as the author to discontinue publication at this time.

Susie

I Hope You Do Continue

jengrl's picture

I hope you do continue the story because there is a story to be told in this. The brainwashing and mind control and forced aspect seemed to be a bit too uncomfortable for a lot of readers. It would have been better if one or more of the parents were able to be around to help with the adjustment. It kind of felt like the government just took these boys without their parents having any say or input. The premise of the story is good in that if something like that did happen, it would be necessary to continue the human race. Rebecca's mother needs to be around to teach her what she needs to know and not off somewhere in another country. I think a lot of us have a fear of Big Brother overreaching and thinking they know what's best for us. I would love to see someone stepping up and getting answers from those people who are behind the scenes and bringing people to justice for abusing the power they have in all this. I really hope you do continue. You are a wonderful author and this story can be a great one.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

I agree with all above

It is a great loss that you have decided to un-publish it. I can only hope that it will eventually return, and will be greeted with warmer welcome.

Faraway

P.S. Message originally submitted by Faraway on Mon, 2010/02/15 - 12:38pm.

Here's an attendum, submitted March 11, 02:00am.

The information in this blog is no longer accurate. The story continues, after some encouragement by the community.


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Wait, what?

Please, please continue your story. Your themes are a far cry from the stories that are generating such controversy. Your work belongs here, and is sincerely appreciated.

You're one of my favorite authors

I'm sorry to hear that, Sue. You're one of my favorite authors.
I read and voted on each chapter, but didn't comment.

I hope I'm safe in classifying your story in the genre of Science Fiction?
To me, things that would be very disturbing and unacceptable in the "real world", or in a story that was set in the "real world", can be acceptable as a plot device when they are placed in a Sci-Fi or Fantasy context.

Kris

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

You Are the World

As the author you're that pulsating light at the start of "It's a Wonderful Life". You makka the rules.

Only you can decide when your tolerance runs out. Even some of the comments in this blog seem to suggest that your rules weren't satisfactory to some -- which makes writing uncomfortable. I once unpublished all my stories and stayed away from writing for a year after a person told me how much of a negative impact one of my stories had on her RL. She compared how much my characters loved one another to her personal situation and considered suicide.

I didn't read the serial you've unpublished. I read very few. "Football" is an exception for me, and it's quite good and extremely sensitive.

Since I've reached a similar decision on three of my stories, I think I understand. My sympathies. It isn't easy to end a story prematurely, or un-publish a story, which is a bit like shunning an old friend.

I often wonder what happens to a serial author when their characters push them toward a story they don't want to write. I don't post before the story is complete, but have abandoned other stories during the writing process when I realized I had characters who wouldn't play nice -- nice enough for me to tell their story. I'm not suggesting that's what happened to you because (again) I haven't read it, but it has to happen to some.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Don't be afraid to continue

You posted a pretty big disclaimer before starting the series, so readers can't say they weren't warned about the content. It was also made abundantly clear in episode one what was likely to happen, so anyone dissatisfied who continued reading shouldn't have been surprised at the plot developments.

Perhaps a big disclaimer / warning at the start of each episode might have put off those who would be offended. But then again, if they didn't read the blog post beforehand, and continued reading past episode one, I doubt they would have taken notice of a disclaimer unless it was printed in 150pt letters, with the blink and marquee tags added for effect.

As for parental consent / involvement, the entire premise is that "desperate times call for desperate measures", the boys are all pre-warned it might happen to them, and the psychological profiling before they're accepted onto the program is designed to weed out those who would be most likely to have a negative reaction. The fact they've had to set the bar down to something like 72% suggests that they weren't getting enough boys with higher scores to sustain the population. We don't know exactly what's going on with the rebellious student, but odds are they're doing everything short of hypnosis or drugs to guide him towards a more stable frame of mind. Besides which, you've provided plenty of glimpses into what's going on in other, less enlightened, countries.

The only way any form of population (albeit at a much lower level) could be maintained with volunteer candidates, is if they agreed to become "baby factories", producing one baby after another after another (perhaps using Artificial Insemination to more or less guarantee multiple births) until they reached the menopause. Some life!

 
 
--Ben


There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I Iiked it

Hello Sue. I adding my voice to the others who has said how much they like this story. I do hope you know that when I mentioned the government drugging these kids and the iron fist in the velvet glove I was criticizing that institution and not the story or you. In dire times like that of The Chosen, hard choices have to be made. Additionally sometimes to tell a story, an author has to play a little rough with their make believe friends.

I really do hope you continue this intriguing sci-fi tale.

Big Hugs!

Grover

Aw shucks!

laika's picture

I was loving that story. But you gotta do what you gotta do.
I'd rather you were comfortable than me get my THE CHOSEN fix;
I'll still have your wonderful football tale + apocalyptic fog weirdness;
and who knows what other goodies yer talented brain & heart will be inspired to create...
~~~big hugs, Laika

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

Rejection From Within and Out

littlerocksilver's picture

Sue,

First of all, as the author, you have the right to do with your stories what you want. We may be the poorer for it, though. Jean Sibelius received harsh reviews for his violin concerto, but he kept rewriting it and refining it. It wasn't until after his death that it received its current status as the most performed and recorded violin concerto of all time. That was the critics error. There are seven known Sibelius symphonies. Several are especially wonderful. He wrote an eighth symphony. Unfortunately, he used it and several other unpublished works to heat his sauna (I have been there by the way). He probably did it in a fit of alcoholic depression. Alan Hovanis, the recently deceased Armenian - American composer destroyed many of his works as being unworthy. We are poorer for it. Paul Ducas, the French composer of the Sorceror's Apprentice destroyed many of his works. We are poorer for it. Although many of Franz Schubert's works were saved by Schuman, many were probably used to wrap fish. Schubert thought his works weren't worthy, and died before many of them were finished. We are poorer for it. If you are happy with your work, don't destroy it. Finish it, and put it on the shelf for later. Publish it when you know the time is right. We will be better for it. Please,

Portia

Portia

Sorry to hear that

tmf's picture

hopfully "I may return to the story at a later time,..."
will not be to far away.

love tmf

Free Choice

It is your story, and you have the right to withdraw it at anytime and for any reason.

I chose not to read it after reading the tags and disclaimer at the beginning, thank you by the way for not going with the cop-out "Blurred for plot". But based on those same indicators I don't see anything more "objectionable" about this story than "New Style Of Education", which is now up to 54 chapters and numerous spin-offs; or the Aunt Jane stories. Just as a matter of principle, I hope you don't let others force your story removal. Do what you feel is best for yourself.

Oops, almost forgot to add: You are a fine author with a sometimes unique viewpoint. We would all be worse off without your writings.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Withsdrawn?

I admit, that I´m surprised. I¨ve just saved chapter 4, made refresh to see more of discussion and got access denied. Not pleasant surprise I must say. But it is your story, you have the right, although I think that many people would miss it. I too, espicially now, when I know that "there is something rotten in state of Danish". Please, continue.
Cheering
Robin

Disappointed

First off, let me say that I fully support you in any decision you make with regards to your story.

I have found the chapters you have posted so far to be very thought provoking.

They say that a measure of a society is how well they adhere to their principles when things get tough. There are many of the “let the ends justify the means” types who throw out their “principles” at the slightest sign of a problem.

Here we have a disaster of truly global proportions. Now society has a choice, stand on principles and watch the gradual destruction of the society or realizing just how dire the situation is and recognizing the hypocrisy, do what is necessary and try to make it as easy as possible on those most greatly impacted.

Involuntary selection is not a new concept to governments as it is how the military has worked for centuries, such as with the US draft during the Vietnam War and the naval press gangs of the 1700s.

Now we come to a big question, what does a society owe to those who have been involuntary selected? The easy answer is everything, but there are practical limits to what can actually be offered. Much as with military veterans, we owe them everything but cannot afford to give them all that they are due.

Thanks for all you’ve given us,

Michelle

Michelle B

That is a great story though

I'm sorry that you got comments disapproving the story, and frankly, I don't understand why.

So far, I only read the three first chapter, but even if the story isn't the image of a perfect world, it's worth to tell. Once I believed that stories should always describe perfection, people that were always happy, and never any trouble. But in that case, there is no story to tell. At best, it's a static description of an imagined world.

So, ok, the characters were forced to transition at a young age. That's certainly difficult for them, but I can't see why the story and why you could be to blame in this. The circumstances just made it necessary. Life isn't always perfect but the ability of the characters to overcome life's difficulties is the best thing to have in a story.

There are also many ways to tell a story, and there are many ways to develop the plot. in both cases, I think you did it well. You don't include scenes too difficult for the reader, or so I think. And you choose to describe the most civilized way to deal with the problem. I can't see why the reader could complain.

Perhaps the reader don't like the story, but there are many stories that we like or don't like, for many different reasons. When I find a story going in a direction that I don't find as interesting, I simply stop reading. I know others appreciate it, and so that it's only one point of view.

I was looking forward to read the next chapters, so I admit I'm a bit disappointed. But at the same time I know behind all those stories there is work, and that all those stories are a gift freely given, so I accept whatever you decide.

Mildred

Sad to hear but I understand, Sue

Your story had serious dark undertones, or at least seemed so, and given the recent bruhahah at FM I can understand your caution.

Your story was very well done and if disturbing it was because you were exploring a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. I suspect if you had continued we would have learned some things were not as dark/suspicious as first appeared, some things were much worse and some things we had yet to learn. This was a complex near future world you created and thus not easy to characterize honestly on the limited info we readers had to this point. This was right and proper on your part as it built dramatic tension. I was greatly enjoying it.

And as we heard our heroines comments on the strange goings on at the time we know at a minimum she lived to tell the tale. Whether it was a ultimately happy or bitter tale we do not know, only you know that now that you unpublished. I am sorry our comments caused that.

I wonder, Sue, if she is telling the tale to her children, the plague has been cured or at least *managed* in some better way and she is telling them this is so they know of the sacrifice their mom and others made, voluntarily and involuntarily to save mankind.

Save this excellent start. Work on it as you see fit then when you feel it is ready send it off to test readers or even give us a second chance to be fair in evaluating it.

If in any way my earlier comments hurt, I am sorry. it was not my intention. I don't always like dark/seemingly dark tales but this one had my attention big-time. Please continue someday and please don't let this discourage your writing.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

The choice is yours

And you've made it. I can't and won't argue with that, or try to change your mind on the matter. I will say that I was enjoying the story even with, or maybe especially because of, it's dark over and undertones. I saw nothing wrong with it in any sense and will leave things at that.

Other than to say that I hope you will continue it at some future date.

Rats... I really enjoyed

Rats... I really enjoyed this story.

The extra sensitivity lately is unfortunate. I say that while completely understanding your position, though. Hopefully not too many of us will start deleting past work.

This was a great story. I hope you reconsider.

Dear Sue B.,

It is a shame you have decided to pull "The Chosen".

It is such a logical extention for "The White Plague" and also in keeping with a conference I attended roughly fifteen years ago.

It held almost precisely the mindset offered in "The White Plague" and I was enjoying it immensely.

Any chance of obtaining a copy of the complete work? For my private reading pleasure, of course.

Rénae

“The Chosen” might return.

Since Sue unpublished “The Chosen” emails have been flying too and fro between her and myself (as her editrix—? is there such a word?) and I hope that shall be able to persuade her to reinstate the first four chapters and to get on writing chapters 5 & 6. She has been kind enough to send a brief outline of the synopsis and I think the story has tremendous potential as a Wyndhamesque sci-fi novel.

I am sure all the support you have shown in your comments on this blog will help to swing her round to reposting.

I hope we are successful in persuading her. She had had an extremely difficult day and I think one or two of the comments were the final straw that broke the camel's back.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

A voice crying in the wilderness...

Sue,

I just found this sight about 2 weeks ago, and I found your story "The Chosen" last week (parts 1-5). Let me add my voice to these others who support you. I really enjoyed this story. I have read other stories that use children as the main character and some of them just make me mad - so I stop reading them. But your story is very well written and I enjoyed it immensely. Hollywood makes movies that are big hits and a lot worse than your story. Please, don't let a few complainers stop you from writing a story that most of us enjoy. I know you must consider all comments and views and make a decision for yourself. Remember, you can't please everyone, so please 1) yourself and 2) those closest to you, then 3) the rest of us. What ever your decision though, I (and I think most of us) will support you.

I hope you have a great day. I know I will, because I'm about to start reading another of your stories - "Football Girl".

Mark

Subject matter

Susan dear friend (if I may make so bold)

Don't be discouraged by adverse comments from a few, if we all did that, we'd be male still!

As always, your stories are thoughtful and well written.

I am sad that this story won't get read to the end, but I also understand your reticence in publishing sensitive material.

Good luck good fortune and lots of Hugz

Jennifer Christine