I watched an interesting program on BBC America last night. Called 'Transvestite Wives'.
It was a look at how the partners (not all were married) of men who dress as woman cope, and participate with their partners lifestyle. It was sensitively produced, and showed the men in both male and female persona.
The only thing that annoyed me was that I objected to the term transvestite. All of these men were straight cross dressers, a term not mentioned in the program at all. Maybe it was because in the UK they don't use the term CD, or maybe just my perception of the use of the term, transvestite.
Comments
What's the difference?
To me, the term crossdresser and transvestite are completely interchangeable. After all trans = cross and vest = dress. If there is a difference, what is it? Neither term seems to be particularly controversial to this innocent soul.
There is a wide range in different forms of transgender behaviour ranging from the occasional crossdressing for fun at a fancy dress party or in that peculiar British institution of pantomime, through heterosexual transvestites who may be married or not (and cross dress for a variety of reasons) right through to transsexuals who wish to transition to be complete members of what was formerly the opposite gender. All have their place in the pattern of behaviour and attitudes here should be sympathetic to all.
On the original programme, do you know if it's available on-line anywhere? I know access may be restricted to US-based URLs, as is the BBC iPlayer to UK ones, but it might be fun to try. I didn't notice if it was broadcast here, in the UK.
Robi
The Continuum
Some time ago in effort to describe the many facets of GID the term transvestite was used in the clinical sense of fetishistic dressing in articals of the opposite sex for the purpose of sexual gratification, there was a sexual component to it.
Crossdressing was the grey area between TV and TS where there was no desire to actually become a woman and there was no anxiety or displeasure with ones birth genitalia. There was not a sexual component or focus on the attire. Crossdressing was more a case of expressing ones feminine personna, enjoying the feeling of ones feminine attire in that expression in different than the clothes being the sole focus of sexual gratification.
I have known many of both types and in betweens, as I said, its a continuum and hard to pidgeon hole or compartmentalize.
Let the flaming begin ;-/
I agree with Robin.
You might want to look at these four URLs for definition. ( I disagree with the ifsha definition on transvestite, as far as transvestites being mainly homosexual, however ). I also give the Encarta dictionary definitions. It did not define Cross Dresser.
A fifth URL is to a large Wikipedia article which says the same thing in great detail.
transvestite - somebody who dresses like opposite sex: somebody who adopts the dress and often the behavior of the opposite sex (Encarta dictionary)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define:transves...
cross dresser - http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define:Crossdre...
transgendered - of transsexuals or transvestites: relating to transsexuals or transvestites (Encarta dictionary)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+transgendered...
transsexual - 1. somebody whose sex is surgically changed: somebody who has undergone treatment to change his or her anatomical sex 2. somebody who identifies with opposite sex: somebody who identifies himself or herself as a member of the opposite sex. (Encarta dictionary)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+transsexual&b...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Well, As Far As I Am Concerned
I know a few authors here who are men who dress as women, and their wives accept it. Seems to me that it'd be best to hear from them on why they do it. To me, they are the person that they say they are.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Re: Transvestite wives
This program was on TV in the UK the same week i came out to Mrs. Jay, she recorded it and we sat and watched it together. It was instrumental in starting the conversation about my trans issues and how she fits into things, as she thought she was expected to not put up with things and she was alone, which the show showed her that there were other wives who get involved too and have a damn good time doing so. Although not perfect, it was well done.
The term Transvestite was used to bring in the audience I think, although I have heard several cross dressers here refer to themselves as trannies...
- Jay
That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaym.angelblogs.co.uk
That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaynemorose.wordpress.com/ <= note new address
Jay you are fortunate
In my case it brought a bad relationship closer for awhile. Later it was all reversed for me when I was single again and a boyfriend who I thought was so wonderful, masculine and macho began to transition, with the shoes literally on the other foot I had to take a deep look at my own feelings of how I felt about this and was -not- dealing well with it.
Quite the double standard when it happens to YOU. It was a wake up call for how I looked at things and still challenges me. I nearly married him, he was my first true boyfriend, he's a man, I'm a woman, it was special!, how could he do this to me???
(stomp, whine, thrash, scream)
Makes you laugh when you think of how we get so self absorbed in all this and cannot understand how others cannot accept us with all of our justifications, data and analysis.Oh how we suffered all of our lives to get here.
Then the Gods throw you a wobbly and turn the tables:
"Here, lets see how well you deal with it"
Thank you for your reply
Yes, I do consider myself fortunate in having such an accepting wife. Now, it has been postulated to me a while ago that: How would I feel if my wife dressed as a man, met up with other women doing likewise and went out on the town like that. Well, the answer I came to was that I would like to think that I would be supportive. After all, I would consider that I had fallen in love with the person, not the image, although it takes some time to get to know a person rather than the image presented. Consider this maxim: "If that which you seek you do not find within you, then you surely will not find it without." And so the same with relationships. I tend to feel we find the most fault in others on aspects of them that are similar with aspects of ourselves and this is a karmic lesson we have to overcome in order to grow - well in my opinion anyhow. Not an easy one and I cannot conceive as to how I would have reacted, should such issues happen to me, but then again, I fell in love with a person regardless of gender or sexuality and hence do not subscribe to labels such as gay, lesbian, bi or whatever.
Hope that things work out for you Christine, you take care and be happy- Jay
Come release the inner twaddle: My blog => http://jaym.angelblogs.co.uk/
That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaynemorose.wordpress.com/ <= note new address
I have known
a number of Transvestites (a term which I have always understood to be synonymous with Cross-Dressers) who are happy to be male and heterosexual. If you like, their cross-dressing is a means of self-expression, rather like someone who feels the need to be on the stage. Conversely, I have known Gay men and women (comfortably so) who cross-dress, although my experience is that most don't.
There are male TVs who like nothing better than, for example, to wear sensuous clothing, or act the maid. Of course, there are many people, who do not otherwise cross-dress, who like to do the same.
Not everyone who is interested in bondage, either as a dominant or submissive partner, would class themselves as a cross-dresser.
In other words, cross-dressers cannot be stereotyped.
Someone who feels the need to present as a member of a gender other than that in which they were assigned at birth, may or may not be a TV or CD; again my experience has been that most are not.
Those who consider themselves to be transgendered may or may not elect to go for surgical intervention. Again, TS people cannot be stereotyped.
I think that the message can bear repeating; a preferred mode of dress does not equate to a perceived or assigned gender identity, sexuality or sexual orientation.
Susie