Hello everyone,

I just wanted to apologize for my sudden and extended absences over this past year, and hopefully try to shed a little light on things. This isn't an excuse, mind you. I know the internet is by its very nature very transitory, but I feel like if I'm ever going to get past this, I need to get it out in the open somewhere that I feel safe in doing so.

It's been a really interesting year for me. I feel like I've grown and learned so much about myself since that fateful first blog post nearly a year ago. But at the same time it's been quite rough.

In February my last living grandparent passed away, and to put the icing on that cake, she was buried ten years to the day, on Valentine's Day, after my last living grandfather was buried.

In a way, it was really kind of romantic, but it still threw me for awhile, and then things started to look up. I ran into an old online friend from WAY back - we'll call her Kristina - and it was like we'd never lost touch. Well, except for finding out Kristina was dating a M2F TS.

This was like a dream come true on the surface. K's girlfriend - we'll call her Miranda - was from the South like me, and she seemed really sweet at first. We just clicked on several levels, and I let my guard down... Big mistake on my part.

See, Miranda and I started collaborating on a new writing project, but as we worked together I found out more and more that there was trouble in paradise between those two. Kris was growing more distant due to mental disorder whose name escapes me, and Mir was becoming more and more of an obsessive control freak toward me, as well as being extremely verbally abusive.

The thing is, I've been abused in real life before, and I just couldn't handle going through that again, so I tried to talk to Kristina about it.

In essence, she accused me of acting like a whipped dog, convinced Mir could do no wrong, and shoved me aside.

I know what you're thinking. I said 'online friend' earlier, and it's true, anonymity and the dangers of the internet being what they are, but Kris and I were like sisters, so this was just too much for me to handle.

I dropped off the 'net entirely for several months. I deleted all my old email accounts and just... disappeared. I should have said something then, here, but I was afraid if one of them saw it (I mentioned BC in passing to Mir when we first met) that it would just start unnecessary drama here. The easiest thing to do was to just walk away and stay away for awhile.

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm still writing. That's the one thing I haven't given up on, but I unfortunately don't have anything worthy of posting here either.

On a friendlier note, I'd also like to wish everyone a happy holiday. This community changed my life a year ago and set me on an interesting path of self-discovery that runs a lot deeper than just fiction-writing, for which I am very thankful.

Best wishes,

~Zoe