An Elf in Her Bra has been in Hatbox for about a year and is now eligible for release to the general public.

During the last twelve months I have been inundated with many requests regarding my future intentions for it. Many are those who many have implored, begged, indeed offered financial incentives, in a vain attempt to influence me.

In spite of all such, and ignoring all threats, I have decided to indeed release it in the Public Domain here at Hallowe'en. So there!

This does mean that you have a few days left to read it in Hatbox before the great unwashed get their hands on it. There you will find the final rewrite carefully polished by Erin and displayed in her quite fantastic cover. Not to be missed whatever the cost.

For the very poor unable to afford the token entrance fee for admittance to this cultural Nirvana, I understand that in some countries Government grants are available for those whose economic circumstances precludes them from the enjoyment of their rightful inheritance of the world's rich treasure house of literature, art and sculpture. In other nations private patronage fills the void. Readers are urged to take advantage of such concessions. All you have to do is apply.

For those living in less enlightened nations, personal thrift is the only answer. Start saving now. The price of a bottle of gin a week put aside will soon cover the deficit and enable you to fully blossom into intellectual maturity.

Alternatively those for whom destitution is a daily companion may assuage their guilt at reading all the fine stories found for free here at the Big Closet by making some trifling donation commensurate with their straightened circumstances. Not just to read An Eft in Her Bra but as a small thank you to the Gods, not to mention Erin and her colleagues, for the provision of such a fantastic collection of even better stories, blogs, comments, and friendship.

All to ensure that Big Closet flourishes in future months and years.

To whet your collective appetites for An Eft in Her Bra, I give below extracts from the World Press, some of which may even be germane.

The Sunday Times. Oct. 4th. - The latest production at the Theatre Royal sets new standards of immorality combined with a high degree of bad taste and leads this critic to question the deplorable trend in modern productions to .... (Charles Page-Turner, Theatre Critic)

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 6th. - Heavy snowfall forecast for North Wauwatosa.

The Daily Telegraph Oct 6th. - Mr. David Cameron, the Leader of the Her Majesty's Opposition, here pictured enjoying an evening at the theatre. On being asked his opinion of the controversial staging, Mr Cameron is reported as saying 'Cor Blimey, yer wudn't Adam and Eve it .... '

The Hull Advertiser. Oct. 7th. - The Hull Tourist Office today responded angrily to suggestions in the blockbusting novel, 'An Eft in Her Bra', that Hull suffered from cold weather in June. The Office's lawyers are said to be .....

The Sidney Herald. Oct. 7th. - The Australian Minister for Trade today emphatically refuted suggestions made in the rave novel 'An Eft in Her Bra' that Australian cane toads were in any way responsible for the reported disappearance of several young women in the UK. 'When it comes to integrity you just can't fault Aussie toads' he told our ....

The Guardian Oct. 8th. - The best selling novel, 'An Itch in her Bar', was today publicly burnt by a group describing themselves as Guardians of the Nation's Youth....

The Sun. Oct 8th. - Our readers vote Abigail's tits to be ....

The Times Oct. 9th. - The police were today called in to investigate the disappearance of Mr. Charles Page-Turner, the theatre critic of our sister newspaper The Sunday Times, from his flat in Knightsbridge. Neighbours were first alerted to the problem by the continuous loud miaowing of a large ginger cat that ...

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 10th. - Heavy snowfall forecast for South Wauwatosa.

The Sunday Times. Oct. 11th. In the continuing absence of Mr Charles Page-Turner, this week's literary review has been brought to you by Miss Gladys Perkin who .....

Le Monde. Oct 12th. La littérature mondiale est maintenent dominée par les anglais. Avec la publication du roman noir 'Un Triton dans sa Soutien-Gorge' ils ont bien merité la couronne de laurier ....

The Farmers Weekly. Oct. 12th. - A spokesperson from the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural affairs today denied Governmental responsibility for the accidental slaughter during the Foot and Mouth crisis of 2001 of 2014 cattle, 23 llamas, and 1 shepherd on pasture land abutting the Helgarron Estate. Allegations contained in the influential novel 'An Eft in Her Bra' that the symptoms were merely that of a murrain cast by ....

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 13th. - Heavy snowfall forecast for West Wauwatosa.

The Coven Monthly Oct. 14th - Ms Joanna Pennydugs, Vice President of the Stow-in-the-Wold chapter, today repeated her accusations regarding the Goverment cover-up over the Helgarrongate affair. When it comes to them diagnosing Foot and Mouth, she said, the words arse and elbow spring unbidden to one's lips.

The Financial Times. Oct. 14th. Wall Street report a fall in the value of internet shares following on the overall slump of sales through Ebay following the loss of confidence occasioned by the revelations contained in the influential novel 'An Eft in Her Bra.' that the quality of newts and their derivatives on offer there are to be treated with caution. Never has 'Caveat Emptor' been more appropriate than in today's climate said ...

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 15th. - Heavy snowfall forecast for East Wauwatosa.

The Hollywood Reporter. Oct. 16th. - The Press Office of the Walt Disney Corporation flatly refused to comment on rumors that the original inspiration for the Queen in the film Snow White owed her position to sexual favours granted by her to someone at the very top of the organisation. The suggestion that such favors were still being paid for was dismissed as ludicrous. Nevertheless ....

The Apothecary. Oct. 17th. The President of the British Apothecary Council, Mr Leonard Stench, warned the British public that when purchasing newts, newt parts, or newt derivatives, to purchase only from an accredited apothecary to ensure that such are not, or not of, the great crested newt, triturus cristatus, as such is a protected species. Unscrupulous rogue traders have apparently ....

The Knightsbridge Courier. Oct. 17th. An R.S.P.C.A. officer was admitted last Friday to The Royal Marsden Hospital suffering from the loss of two fingers on his right hand after having been savaged by a large marmalade cat. Neighbours had called in the officer after being themselves terrorised by the feral animal which had attached itself to the apartment of Mr. Charles Page-Turner. Readers may recall that Mr. Page-Turner has not been seen for some days and his absence is causing considerable anxiety. The police ....

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 17th. - Severe blizzards continue to rage over Central Wauwatosa. America cut off.

The Sunday Telegraph. Oct. 18th. - A new Health & Safety directive has been issued warning against the unauthorised trawling of duck ponds for amphibians following the drowning of three small children in Hayward's Heath. This practice is inherently unsettling for the wild life inhabitants and the West Sussex Duck Guild have petitioned ....

The Guardian. Oct. 19th. The book critic of the Sunday Times, Mr. Charles Wage-Earner, has been charged, in absentia, with allowing a dangerous animal to endanger the lives and property of the residents in this once sought after Knightsbridge locality. The cat in question, a singularly large ginger animal, has ....

The Warlock's Herald. Oct 20th. We can only deplore the recent portrayal on the BBC of a so called celebrity, purporting to belong to our sisterhood, attempting to demonstrate the art of casting a murrain. We would point out that the publication 'An Eft in Her Bra', whatever its other undoubted merits, is not a scientific treatise and that meddling with the occult should be left to qualified experts.

The Vatican Trumpet. Oct. 21st. Hear hear!

The Gardening World. Oct 21st. Following last week's Gardening Equipment Best Buy award some readers have written in to complain the the winning broomstick remains obstinately earthbound despite their best endeavours to persuade it to fly. We cannot agree that the broomstick in question should therefore be considered as unfit for purpose. Nor can we accept any responsibility for damage to person or to property to those who have launched themselves from high vantage points in an attempt to ....

Wauwatosa Chronicle. Oct. 22nd. The decision to twin Wauwatosa with the city of Hull, England, UK, was formally proposed today. The idea sprung from the graphic scenes described in the internationally acclaimed novel 'An Eft in her Bra' when it was realised that climatewise there was much in common between ....

And there's more .... Oh so much more ...