A few days ago I posted a blog. It is probably similar to several blogs that I have posted over the past few years where I struggle to see where I fit in with everything.

Perhaps I should explain first why it's so important. A long time ago, in a galaxy not too far away, I was a world class wrestler (NOT WHAT YOU WATCH ON TELEVISION). I won two national titles and wrestled overseas and continued to have success. You might ask what this has to do with being classified. It has quite a lot actually. See, each style has it's own rules and sometimes it's own scoring. In scholastic wrestling (what college kids do) you have three separate periods running 3-2-2 (First period is three minutes long, others are two). Scoring is also completely different than the international styles. In Greco-Roman (which I am undefeated internationally thank you very much) you earn points differently than in scholastic. You get more points for throws than take downs, points for lift your opponent right off the match and tilting an opponent to their back gets you points (in scholastic you have to hold him past 45 degrees for at least a 2 count). Also the matches were one 5 minute period long (things have changed since then grr.)

Anyway. I needed to know what I was doing for each style because strategy was different and also sometimes the way I wrestled was different. In Greco-Roman I could stand up straight because you weren't allowed to attack or use legs. Do that in freestyle or scholastic and your in for a quick ride to loserville. I've had instances where I forgot what scoring I was going under (at the Midlands no doubt, the biggest scholastic tournament of the year) and paid for it by looking foolish. But knowing where you stood and what you operated under insured a greater chance of success.

That brings me to my previous blog. I still struggle as I try to determine what is success and if I am hitting that. There was a review and I think several other people have made this comment, that I write a very different kind of Transgender story. Since it was a three star review, I took that as meaning "A BAD TG STORY" or at least not to the liking of people who visit these sites.

I want to reach people, I want to be liked, I want to make people think and laugh and cry. Yes, I'd like to be profitable also, but that isn't the most important thing. Since I have faith in my story telling ability (and completely suck at spelling and grammar) I figured it's not the stories that are bad, but where I am offering them. Kind of a "you don't sell sushi in a pizzeria" type thing.

I was chatting with Erin and she gave me a little insight to what my problem was. It might be a problem with several authors on this site as BC is kind of unique in some of it's offerings as compared to other tg fiction sites that focus on the fetishism more. I don't write TG fiction. I might never have written TG fiction. I write mainstream fiction with transgender characters. Not the worse place to be, gives me a little more freedom, and it explains why I can get good reviews from the general public and three star reviews from TG readers.

The issue is then, are my more mainstream works wanted here. Phenom is a good example and something I am suffering through. It is one of those stories that has nothing to do with dressing up as the opposite gender or any other common troupes that we often see. I think it is important to the transgender community though because the primary issue of the story is dating relationships after SRS. I believe if you are in a serious relationship you need to divulge the past and this is how I work through it in fiction. No self discovery here, Jenny already knows who she is. But, looking at the response (or lack of it), I would say this work is falling flat on it's face in this community. Limited comments (2 each post) limited kudos 20 or fewer each post, and it is an experience for me to learn what is and isn't wanted on the site. I will continue to post til the end even though sometimes I feel like taking my ball and going home.

Now. I do have to say this. As I try to define and refine my writing, I never stated I was going to stop producing novels. I have a ton in store. Right now my energy is going towards this biography I am working on. It's a bit of a pain because I want to start the sequel to Unreachable. Unlike some people, I need to do one thing at a time or I feel my work suffers (Please don't debate me that your way is better, I'm not saying it isn't, I'm just saying it doesn't work for me). I have story ideas to last me at least a decade and that isn't even including throwaway titles (Anyone want to work with a title called tit zit juice) so I'll be putting more out there and probably going in several directions I previously haven't as I grow and expand my horizons as an author.

Thank you for your time.