I was accosted in the hospital last night.
I was in the waiting room while my wife was visiting her son. It was empty except for the occasional hospital staff member coming through. I thought I would be safe in there. After all, it was in a hospital, outside their psych ward.
A guy came out of the elevator and asked me if I had seen a small woman come through. I told him no one had been through in the last hour. Then he came and sat down next to me. He told me that he was new in the area and was kind of looking for friends. I was sure he knew I was trans-woman and given his round shape and voice, I thought he might be a trans-man looking for others. So I chatted with him for a few minutes.
Then he asked if I wanted to go somewhere with him and I told him I was waiting for my wife. I thought that would be a signal that I was not interested.
Next he asked if I would give him a hug as he was getting up to leave. I did not think anything of it. He was in scrubs with a badge. I thought a hospital employee would be safe so I did. Suddenly, I felt him groping my bottom. Then he grabbed my crotch as he exclaimed that he wanted to feel my cock. Again, he asked me if I wanted to go with him somewhere. I was kind of in shock at that point, but I said no and told him again my wife was about to come out to meet me. He left right after that.
I do not know what it is about men an trans-women. And I wonder if since he was black if that made a difference. I was told by a trans friend that it probably did. Still I hate to see anyone that way. I refuse to let the fear and anger from that event make me into less of good person.
I realize that being a trans-woman, I did miss a lot of the socialization on how to react to men. Though with the reports on sexual assault on college campuses, it makes me wonder just how much difference there really is. I think women need to make it clear that assault of any kind is not okay. And maybe there needs to be an active dialog about how to handle such situations.
And trans-women should not be such obvious victims. I hate that. We need to figure out how to use our strengths. And that male privilege thing is bullshit. But we cannot allow our situation to make us less either.
I am angry at him for touching me that way. I am angry at myself for thinking it may have been my fault. I am afraid because it violated me on a deep level. Still, I feel stronger in a way too. It has helped me to see the inner strength I have. And I want to make something positive about it.
Cassie Ellen
Comments
sorry that happened to you,
sorry that happened to you, it definitely wasn't your fault some people are just worthless piles of trash, you didn't deserve it anymore than any other human being does.
Last Night
Cassie; You need to check with Hospital Security as most waiting areas have cameras in them. That only if you want to press charges especially since he had hospital scrubs on, he shouldn't be working there if treats patients/customers that way. Sorry for the assault and good luck.
Richard
This has nothing to do with socialization.
What it DOES have to do with is you were sexually assaulted by a piece of semi-human garbage who deserves to lose his job, if he works for the hospital, and deserves to be prosecuted for sexual assault and a hate crime.
This has absolutely nothing to do with male female relations or how to relate to a man, as a woman. It IS all about how one should NOT be treated, no matter what they might appear to be. Personally, about the time he grabbed MY ass, he'd have been rather forcibly introduced to Ms. knee, applied with as much force as I could muster, to his groin, followed by a double hammer shot to the back of his neck as he bent over, cradling what used to be his manhood,crying like a baby.
All of this might sound more than a bit bloodthirsty, but I have BEEN accosted in just that sort of manner, and there is, I hope an alleged man who tried that crap with me, missing some teeth and hopefully still walking bent over, since I'm pretty certain I ruined any chances he might have had to sire any offspring. Yes, I sincerely hope I chlorinated the part of the gene pool he was wading in.
No matter WHAT your gender presentation is or was, he had NO right to accost you in ANY manner. No, I didn't notify the authorities. I punished him in a way I felt just and correct. By the way, I was never visited or accused of any assault. I assume he was too humiliated to call the cops himself, knowing that he'd have to testify in any trial that he got his ass whipped by a trannie.
If I were you, I would check on the availability of any videos of what happened and have his putrid ass fired and prosecuted. NOTHING pisses me off more than abuse on females, children, or those who can't defend themselves. In this case you HAVE to be vindictive and hard. Whatever punishment he receives, he deserves it and more.
GOD! This pisses me off!!!!
Catherine Linda Michel
P.S. I don't feel a bit guilty of harming him, and neither should you if you go after his job and get him incarcerated.
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
If you feel up to it
you could go to the hospital administration and, assuming he really worked for the hospital, file a complaint against him.
Regardless, I'm sorry it happened, but I love the attitude your poem shows in response.
Finally
I did report the incident on Friday. It left me feeling lost and empty. Almost as bad as the incident itself was my friends judging me by my difficulty reporting it. I understood that reporting it may prevent it from happening to someone else. But should not taking care of myself come first? Well, I did the right thing, but I feel horribly alone now. I know it will pass, but it is really tough right now.
Oh, and I do want to clarify. I was okay being told I should report it and why. There was no judgment or imperative in that. It was the insistence and disappointment that hurt.
A lesson learned.
The main problem is that many so-called men see trans-people as simply 'sex objects' that are available to fulfil any bizarre sexual perversions or fantasies they might have. It seems to go with the territory and sadly, though I am also loath to touch upon this aspect for fear of being accused of racism. I have learned that 'ethnics' tend to be more prone to these presumptions than others.
At least in my experiences, most hostile approaches have originated from that quarter, particularly Islamic individuals.
P.S. They were identified by their style of dress.