Signs of progress?

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Blog About: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

On this journey there can be several signs of progress. In the past year I've had plenty of them. I started counseling roughly a year ago, got on hormones, came out, somewhat transitioned to full time, started electrolysis.

Those are all good things. There is also external progress. Longer hair, more feminine features, doing work on the voice, learning to walk and carry oneself. Also very good things.

However, the place I look for progress the most is how I view myself. It took me forever to begin referring to myself as Katie. Especially during those times when I talk to myself or I'm frustrated. That was an important milestone for me.

Today, I may have had another hint of progress.

I was in Walmart (Didn't see Dorothy anywhere) and I was doing some Easter shopping because I wanted to make a basket for my boyfriend (I still giggle, isn't it cool, I have a BF). So I am going up and down the aisles trying to find out what I want. They don't make pre-made baskets that are just candy and I don't think a 32 yo man wants toys and sidewalk chalk (but if they had one with a bubble pipe I would have gotten it.)

So there I am, searching for the right stuff and this pops into my mind --

"IF I WERE A GUY, WHAT WOULD I LIKE FOR EASTER?"

Are you kidding me? Wow? If I were a guy. Really? Holy smokes. Zoinks!!!

To me, that means the world. It came to me naturally. It wasn't forced. My mind is unlearning all those things, those lies, that my earlier life tried to force upon me. It is hard being a girl and not having a person realize it. It was difficult being trained to stand like a man, walk like a man, talk like a man, think like a man, when I never was a man, or a boy for that matter.

So, have a glass of grape juice in my honor tonight. Here's to my brain finally catching on!!!

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post: