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Hi everyone.
First I think I need to tell you that I stopped dressing a few months ago. I purged all my clothing, my makeup and accessories. I have nothing left. I had to do it. The duality of my life was getting so bad that it was crushing me. I must say that it really did help me. It really eased up on my stress and fear of discovery from my family. The only thing I have been doing is going online and reading here and at other sites.
But now, I miss my clothes so much. I miss my longer hair. I miss my powder fresh deoderant. I miss my nail polish. I miss my night gown so much. It's been getting bad this past week. I'm going to be house sitting in another town for my grandma and it is so tempting to have some stuff shipped there or to go buy some new clothes. I want them so bad but I do not know if I can face that much duality in my life again, or the risk of being found out at home.
Jessica Marie
P.S. I just spent 25 minutes looking at bras online. Found one in my size(very big size) on clearance for $9. Damm that's tempting.
Danger, Danger. Drama Rising. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
The purging
of clothes and other things is well known amongst tg people and usually they do it every so many years, either because guilt, fear of discovery or just trying to give it up is foremost in their minds. They nearly always revert to buying and dressing again.
If you wish to give it up, then I hope you make it. If you don't, then throwing stuff away is just wasting money.
Angharad
The classic cycle
What you have is two conflicting sources of stress. You dress to relieveyour transgender needsuntil the stress of being caught becomes too strong. You then purge everything which relieves that stress but then once again your transgender needs raise your stress level to the point of dressing again. Too be honest it is very difficult to break this cycle without help or biting the bullet and choosing and accepting the resulting stress.
Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site
Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs
been there, done that
lost track of how many times I "binged" and "purged" before I wised up.
Losing will power fast.
Hope you find peace
May Your Light Forever Shine