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A thought I had several decades ago, and has been reiterated more than once here is the idea of wearing a mask. Nothing physical, just the emotional face you show people under different circumstances. We always have one on. Sometimes they are thinner than other times, but we always wear it. I think couples occasionally drop them, but even then it is rare.
What brought the thought to mind way back when is I was working as a machine maintenance tech. It is important to be calm with people who have had a bad day fighting a machine. Sometimes they may want to take it out on you, and regret it later. So you try to help, let the snide comments slide off, and address the problem. A few times there is nothing wrong with the machine, but you offer support and help them get through a bad day. It is part of the job.
There are lots of other times too. Church comes to mind, you smile and make nice even if the good mood isn't there. I don't go to church much nowdays.
It is mostly a defense mechanism, though my workplace mask was part of being professional. You wear it so people will like you, and not see what a truly screwed up person you think you are.
I'm trying to remove mine a little. It has been stuck in place so long it doesn't want to come off, and if you pardon the analogy, I can't breath anymore. It is why I started hanging around here. I basically see the same thing in many of the other folks to one degree or another.
Now an then you will hear a bit of tearing, as another layer comes off. It can hurt some, but it is a good pain.
And now for something almost different. Whenever I am in a conversation I have a running commentary in the back of my head. When something I think fits the conversation my mental censor lets it out. That censor, he has no common sense sometimes, because something I would never want to come out of my mouth slips on by and drops like a bomb in the middle of the conversation. Hopefully it was funny, sometimes not, but there you are, trying to explain what you meant (or trying to shrink and hoping no one noticed what you said). It is usually totally inappropriate (why would you want to censor it otherwise). Don't you love it when that happens?
Comments
Masks
I do try to spare another's feelings by being careful in what I say, but do not always succeed.
May Your Light Forever Shine
not all masks are bad
sometimes, its a good thing to keep our feelings to ourselves in some situations. But I dont think anybody can live with a mask they cant ever take off, especially if it is very different than the person underneath. I'm slowly trying to take my mask off too, so I'm right there with you hon.
Obvious parallel
There is an obvious parallel with make-up, in that a significant proportion of the female population can't get by without it. To that extent, make-up becomes a mask that allows them to survive their day. Some women would refuse to be seen by anyone outside their house without at least some on, and would feel naked - the same as being unclothed - without it.
Of course, for a lot of us here, the make-up is so that we present to the world what we want the world to see. Perhaps that is not so different?
Now the male half of the species, what do they do? They don't in the main do make-up, and only a small number grow beards, so how do they cope? Or is this why men tend not to show their emotions? Because if they did, someone might see beneath the stiffly-held expression?
Thoughtful post, thank you.
Penny