Well I'm looking for a bit of feedback on this idea concerning Transfigured and a possible rewrite.
After some of the feedback (or lack there of) I received from Transfigured I realized that in my eagerness to write the third and final story to the Ragnarok Rising trilogy I rushed through Transfigured and the results left much to be desired. So after some reflection I decided that Transfigured needed to be 'fixed'. When I initially came to this conclusion my intent was to go back and fix Transfigured after I had written the final story. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get Transfigured out my head and my muse isn't going to let me continue until I get this under wraps. So I got to thinking and came up with the idea of splitting the story into three, each told from the perspective of Derek, Aryanna and Nicholas Flint. Alone each story would only tell a glimpse of the whole. Together all three stories would form a much bigger picture.
I'm particularly thrilled about this idea because it will allowed me to explore Flint's past in greater detail. Which is something I've been wanting to do since I conceived of the character.
Derek would receive a similar, but not quite as thorough treatment.
Aryanna's portion in the story, however, would remain mostly untouched except perhaps with a small measure of expansion.
Well folks what do you think? Am I tetched in the head or does this idea hold merit?
Comments
Paralel stories
I'm not the big fan of parallel stories. The problem with the story was not a lack of plot, but rather the background of the characters.
I've heard flashbacks are not that popular in american literature, but it would be a solution without totally changing the story. I'd suggest that you put flashbacks in the different parts of his changing process.
The story felt a bit rushed, maybe you can stretch it with adding aditional stuff about the characters - maybe to increase the suspense.
I hope this helps,
Beyogi
My main issues
My concern is not with the plot. As you said the story was rushed, but I also feel that I didn't provide the characters with a voice of their own.
Have a delightfully devious day,
Well yeah, there was no big
Well yeah, there was no big difference between the male characters I think. Well at least not in their voice.
Maggie had a thread in the forum about planing characters. Maybe there are some suggestions what you could use to improve yours:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/forum/27547/characters
I think a mistake you shouldn't make is to forget that even though they're male, they are still persons. That's a mistake some TG writers do, they have gazillion female personalities for their characters, but only two male. One for the transformee, and one stereotype for everyone else.
The main reason the two male
The main reason the two male characters lacked voice had more to do with the story being rushed.
I had a very clear picture of both Flint and Derek in my head. I just didn't spend the time that I should have on either of them.
Have a delightfully devious day,
I just reread the story and
I just reread the story and I found some more specific stuff about the male characters.
Derek: More information about his motivations. Why is he at the rally, why does he have such distaste for violence? (Stuff about family and background? Doesn’t want to see more dead people?)
The problem with him is, he gets introduced, but we never really learn anything about him, except for his mysterious connection with Aryanna.
I also wonder why he just accepts his transformation in the end. It might be a good possibility to have Frick convince him. Maybe to reveal some more stuff about his relationship with Aryanna, his fate, or his background.
Nicholas: He just believes Frick. Why? She’s the goddess that granted women their super power.
He’s committing treason and just because he doesn’t like the leadership he gives up on the revolution? I really don't understand him. He seems to be quite high in the hierachy of the sons of odin. Did Frick magic him or something?
That seems very naive to me. She doesn't say what she plans to do, but he just believes her. For all I know, Frick could have lied to him, to get him to cooperate.
You've given me some things
You've given me some things to think about, but I must point out that it's revealed in Incompatible that it was the Light Elves that granted women the use of Magic, not the Gods.
I think what you're refering too in relation to Frigg is this:
Have a delightfully devious day,
Never fear...
Serial publication is always difficult, unless one either completes the story in advance or it's a predictable "pot boiler."
On the last page of the last chapter you, as an author, might have a sudden revelation which either makes sense of or transforms the entire context of the story, making it into something more than that from which one started.
It's never a mistake to pay attention to flashes of insight or new creation.
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
My Muse
Thanks
My muse is really beating me over the head with this one...
Have a delightfully devious day,