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Yes I'm asking for more comments. I went though the entire story line per line of Allens Discovery chapter 2 and did alot of changes, edits and corrections to make it easier to read. There were alot of errors and sentences that just didn't make since when I went over it again.
I am wondering if it is better now.
Comments
For budding writers
If someone is criticizing your writing, I do hope that they are doing it in a way that will encourage you. I still have the first big story I ever wrote sitting in a file drawer, and as it sits, it will never see the um "big time". :) I graduated from High School with a D- GPA, but as time went on and I got time, I went to community college. Later, I took creative writing courses so I could help my then wife get through college too. It is all a process, and we all had to learn. I am not a great writer, and I still remember what it was like when I started.
Just keep working at it, take some courses if you can. Read a lot and immitate others.
Many Blessings
Khadijah
I haven't read your story
I haven't read your story, so I can't say if it's better or not.
Something you might consider is asking for a person or two to volunteer as proofreader and editor. That doesn't mean of course, that you don't do your level best before you send it to them, but it does give you another set of eyes and minds to go over it before you post it. Many of the best writers do that.
Kris
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
I'll edit it if you wish.
Frankly there are people who are much more qualified than I am, and I will not be as intrusive on your work as some are. I don't use fancy editing tools, and when it is done it will still be your work.
If you want me to do it, I will simply cut and paste it to my "Word" and when I am done, I will return it where you want
it. I did download the Dummy's book but have not had a chance to even read it.
If you already have someone else, that's cool.
Khadijah