I've become a little "comment shy" on stories lately, and it occurs to me that I could do more. At one time I had a reputation for providing, lengthy, blunt ... er, incisive feedback, so I'm making this offer:

For the next five authors who request it publicly or privately, I will review any story of theirs they want in-depth. Of the five, I'll limit myself to two novels. I prefer completed works because without that all-important ending, much of the meaning is lost (although I'll do a partially completed serial if you really want), and none may include dormice because I have a life I'll eventually have to get back to. :)

I personally prefer to read well-done MtF, but that doesn't really matter: trans anything, or CD, I do literary feedback.

Here is the guide that I follow for novels, lifted from the Sci-fi Writers Association web site. I consider all of the below to be literary feedback and use whatever is applicable:

Theme and Meaning: Does the story move us? Do we emerge from our fictional journey emotionally engaged, or wiser than we went in?

Literature: Is the story literature? When we read it, are we conscious of the author’s artifice or awkwardness, or is the experience so strong that we forget that we are lost in the action and forget even that there’s an author talking to us?

Imaginativeness: Are we taken to a strange, new, exotic or interesting place? Are the new creations — the technology, societies — fascinating? Are they integral to the new world or just arbitrarily stuck on?

Premise: How well does the fictional universe come across? Is the reader truly transported into another place, a place he could imagine living in? Is it complex? If we could go there, would we want to?

Internal Consistency: Does the fictional universe hang together? Are its institutions, governments, cultural mores, technology, history, and other large-scale actions credible?

Characters: Do we care about the characters we meet? Do we cheer when they succeed, cry when they fail, boo and hiss when they’re evil, applaud when they overcome their weaknesses?

Motivation: Do the characters care? Do they act according to their motives (rather than being pushed around authorially like chessmen)? Do they struggle? When they oppose one another, are their conflicts logical from each one’s point of view? Do they make sensible choices given who they are and what they know?

Believability: Do we see ourselves in these characters? Where they differ from us, do we understand how they came to be who they are? Do we say, “there but for the grace of God, go I”?

Plotting: Does each action follow naturally from its predecessors? Is it a natural outgrowth of the personalities of the people who create it? Are the storyline mysteries natural (rather than manipulative)? Are the characters whacked around by powerful large forces that we know and appreciate? Are big things at stake? Are the characters locked in to their problem?

Pacing, tension, and drama: Does the story hook us? Does it hook us quickly? Are we intrigued by the end of the first page? Are we draw forward by events, always wanting to know more? Does tension swell and contract like a muscle, building to a powerful climax? Does the climax resonate with the theme? Are we on the edge of our seats?

Dramatic economy: Do the things in which we readers invest at the story’s beginning pay off by its end? Does the story reward the reader with cookies of sparkling scenes, characters, insights and dialog?

Language: Is the language striking? Are we hit with eyeball kick images that make us stop and gasp? Do the sentences flow? Do they create mind pictures? Does dialog bring characters to life? Can you tell who is speaking even without attribution?

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Warning: I've done this plenty of times before and am always straight up, honest, and direct in this type of review. They are generally quite lengthy, and I tend to go "by the book." Some have thanked me very much and some people have been rather ungrateful -- especially when I've provided unsolicited advice. :)

Whatever happens, all reviews shall remain confidential.

Regards,

Aardvark