I downloaded and paid for "Shannon's Course" from the lulu store for here.
I'm going to be talking about the plot, so if you haven't read it, don't come in here and read the rest.
I'm getting kind of nervous, although that's not accurate. I'd say antsy, but that's not correct either. I have this feeling of dread.
I'm up to the part where Nate's mother is taking Shannon and Nate to her store to get him cheerleading uniforms. I'm reading the headspace that the mother and her daughter are in and how they are hoping to force Shannon into either something humiliating or just to screw him.
I say this is triggery becasue I felt some of this myself. I had very pretty girls who wanted to be with me only to humiliate me and make fun of me. I trusted them over and over and over and I kept getting my teeth kicked in by these girls. A LOT of the problem and the reason I was "a moth to a flame" with them was because I wanted to be part of their world, to be a girl, a pretty girl and I knew it.
Like one time, I allowed the girls to paint my fingernails in school because I had always wanted it. I was scared, anxious, heart pounding, fantasy fulfilled and more. I wanted and needed it. They swore to me they had fingernail polish remover in their purse, and then it turns out that the bitches didn't have it at all. My next class was GYM, where I would be doing the parallel bars with the rest of the boys, and I already had a rep for being a weird fagot boy/sissy, to the point where I no one would change in front of me because I might jump them.
I am not gay and never have been. I have no clue why I got this rep.
I had to leave school, I left in tears. The custodian found some acetone to get the polish off, but at that point the day was ruined for me.
I took so much grief for that. Fantasy fulfilled and fantasy destroyed and humiliation heaped all in ONE act.
And it kept going.
So this story is starting to trigger those same reactions/feelings. I'm sitting here shaking and having flashbacks from it.
Please, if you have read this story, tell me it gets better? But only if it does.
Comments
Getting Triggered
I have stopped reading more than one story because it took me to a painful place. It had nothing to do with the skill of the author. Some people get offended when you tell them that you can not read their story because it hurts you. One author even wrote another story and asked me if that was less painful for me. It is quite a good story and I was very touched that someone would go to the trouble of doing that for me.
You need to take care of yourself.
Be well.
Gwen
It does, ultimately
Shannon has a difficult journey annd there is another major plot besides the Sevngali like girl, her mom and the weird teacher who started it all off but ultimately Shannon comes through better for it.
Angela put a lot of effort into this story. It is long and may elicit strong emotions in you but it will be well worth the effort in the end.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Thank You Maid Joy
Thank you for making a contribution to BC by buying a book from Lulu. As the author I receive none of the revenue. All profits go to support this site.
I'm sorry your "friends" were such stinkers, but they're about average mean girls. The psychological basis for their horible behavior is basic human characteristics. When confronted with turmoil humans look to maintain the status quo. They seek out a social pecking order. It is advantages for the queen bees to constantly create angst to keep their top positions. You were selected as a target for many reasons, but mainly because they needed a target. It has much less to do with you than it has to do with their need to be on top. They've managed to create a psuedo-world in which they are the queens. They will get theirs when reality catches up to them sometime later in life.
Shannon's Course reflects real life in that reality eventually does catch up to all of the meanies in all the story lines. It is a heroic saga and as such I've made an implied contract with the readers to make sure it has a positive ending.
I know exactly how you feel. Yesterday I spent a few hours editing Shannon's Course, I'm putting it through a major rewrite. I have about eighty hours of editing to go and am about 60% done. While editing, I'm again experiencing the teenage angst of the major characters. It's almost like watching what my daughter is going through every day at school.
If only I could make sure every queen bee at my daughter's school suffered the same consequences as Natalie and her mother, Victoria.
By the way, if you really want to read a story where you have to peek through eyes covered by your fingers at what is happening, try "Residue" or "Exitus Acta Probat".
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)