I talked to my sister today. I called her. I called her because I wanted her to say something about what was on my computer. I really did. She never said anything about it, but she did ask me if there was anything I wanted to talk about. She asked me that a couple of times.
Later, I called my dad. I told him that I had made some new pen pals on line and he wanted to know which one I was going for. I told him that I was not going for anyone and he asked me well which one do you want the man or the woman. He noticed the hesitation in my answer and he thought that it was funny as hell. Then he pressured me to find a woman and get him some grandchildren.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. I came very close to telling them both the truth. That would have major reporcusions in my life right now and I'm just not ready. But I want to tell them so badly, I just can't get the words out. I found a therapist in my area that works with a GLBT support group and I sent her a emial asking for info. I think it's time I got some help.
Jessica(smorr24)
Comments
scary prospects..
I don't think I've got enough real world experience with things like this to offer you acceptable advice Jessica so take what I say with a pinch of salt but searching out a therapist is a good idea in my opinion.
I have one and she helps so much on those hard days when everything just feels like too much.
With your family it SOUNDS like your sister is at least willing to listen and she seems to be trying to understand what she saw.
I think if you did decide to take that huge step, even though you said your not ready at the moment, then your sister is the way to go telling your dad would be intimidating anyway but, from what you said, telling him without someone already behind you could be potentially disastrous.
good luck and whatever happens you have friends here
tabby
Umm...
Do you need your family?
Why are you scared of them?
Family Stress
Jessica, just remember the gender issues for you are 24/7/365 every waking hour. For everyone else its a passing concern in their day should they think of you, you might be an embarassment or inconvenient, but you are not going to ruin their life nor are you responsible for their happiness. They chose how they feel about you, you do not have a choice in your issues. Please see and work with a therapist and get your moneies worth..pour out your soul to her. Its theraputic (duh)and there is not anything you can say that is going to cause her to hold you back if this path is right for you.
Don't put it off, it does not get better with age =)
I think if you ask any of us old farts and knowing what we know now, would we have done something about it when we were younger if we had the kind of support and resources we have today, you'd probably get a unanymous yes.
If you are going to lose your sister or father they will be no different about it a year from now or whenever you think you may be ready. But that is jumping ahead, therapist first, outing yourself comes when she agrees you are prepared to deal with it.
Good Luck.
I'll admit, I had it easy
But I'll admit, beginning to tell my family had me scared. I firmly believe one should try to break it to their family in such a way you do not lose them. However, I also do not believe that onr should just come out and break it to them on a take me or leave me alone basis.
It sounds to me, Jennifer, as if you are doing it right, especially now that your sister may suspect, and sounds willing to talk. Talking it over with your therapist before going further with your sister, even though it sounds as if your sister may have made a pretty good guess, should help you face it.
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly