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hello everyone.
I have many things going through my mind about the whole transgender thing.
I am a father of three boys who are showing no signs of wanting to be female.
I used to be really against the whole transgender thing but as I get older I am trying to be more accepting of everything and everyone.
if any of my boys told me that they want to be a girl then I would now be 100 percent behind them and try to help them in any way I can.
I do have a question though.
I have read a lot of the stories on this site and the father in them nearly always seems to be the one character who is always against their son wanting to be a girl.
he is always seen as the bad guy.
is there any reason for this ?
to all the authors out there on this site who have submitted storys I don't mean this to offend anybody, its just an observation.
i love this site and the stories on it.
it has opened my eyes to the world of LGBT
once again i hope i haven't offended anybody with this and im sorry i i have.
mattie xxx
Comments
Always?
It's not always as you say but there is a trend there. Real parents vary a lot but these are stories. And stories have structure.
A story needs a protagonist, a main character. The protagonist needs an ally or a mentor, someone to help them out or show them the ropes. In TG stories this often is a female character and the strong female closest to a child is their mother.
A story needs an antagonist, someone to oppose what the protagonist wants to do. In a story about a child, the next strongest character close to the protagonist is their father.
It's not always realistic to divide things up this way but depending one what the author is trying to say with their story, it might be a shorthand way to get to the conflict. Which is what a story is about.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Agreed
This is the bane of writing. We 'do' need the antagonist in a story. The problem is that many writers choose the least path of resistence to take. Do you really believe blonds are dumb half-whits that are portrayed in books and TV? How about the big muscular man or the fat man many think should be jolly like Saint Nick? Look at how TV portrays parents, police, crooks and others. The problem is that it has become so cliche that to break away from it sends both viewers and readers into cardiac arrest as they scream out how wrong it is. Worse is when the writer tries to remind the reader of how biased their audience has become as people entrench the believe in what they are read and seeing by putting it out in the real world.
Fathers are usually the ones chosen due to their masculinity upbringing and how it goes against what many would want their son to be even as they tell them to be true to themselves. Hypocrisy. But look out in the real world and you will see just as many woman who condemn their own sons choice. A mother who refuses to acknowledge her transition even after her death. There are a few stories that follow it. But for many of those that are transitioning I've seen where they want the mother to be more nurturing whereas the father comes off against it. I wish I could say it's just as true on the outside world but as we are finding out, its not.
YOU have come to the same conclusion that only age seems to provide. We as a group must grasp and cast aside old stigmas and change what many cling to be wrong else we hold onto old perceptions and pass them down to our own children in our ignorance who will continue the trend.
It depends
But IMHO, the Father sees his sons transition as an affront to his masculinity and rebels. No more 'Like Father like Son' for them.
OTOH, I've written stories where the Mother is the one who can't 'get it'.
Samantha
Literary trope
First I want to say that I'm pleased that you've become more understanding and accepting of the LGBTQ community, and that this site has helped open your eyes.
I think that the "accepting mother/rejecting father" in male to female young adult fiction is a literary trope:
"A literary trope is the use of figurative language, via word, phrase or an image, for artistic effect such as using a figure of speech. The word trope has also come to be used for describing commonly recurring literary and rhetorical devices, motifs or clichés in creative works." (Wikipedia) (underlining is mine)
Authors may use it because it reflects their own experience, that of people in the community that they interact with, or because they see it's common use in works by others. Most authors want to post stories that will appeal to the community where they appear, so tropes that are successful in getting good feedback get more use.
It doesn't mean they are more realistic, it is, after all, fiction.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
It varies.
In my own stories, I have Twm Powell, who starts by being anti, but becomes utterly and devotedly supportive of both of his 'two beautiful daughters'. I have John Evans' father, whose grave she later pisses on. I have Adam Price's dad, who burns his doll. I have Sophie's two fathers, one of whom is a shit, the other a delight.
As Erin says, it all depends on what story you are trying to tell. You need a dramatic arc, the logic of a story's events and their sequence. You also need dramatic tension, opposing forces, to make that story interesting.
Bailey Summers
Check out Bailey’s stories, which often have a strong and supportive father. Snowfalls stories also do.
Dawn
Being Trans
There is one little thing in your comment I'd like to address, and it's a common misperception. You say "I am a father of three boys who are showing no signs of wanting to be female." Trans females don't "want" to be female, they "are" female. Their bodies don't match that, but in their head and in their heart they know they are female. The same thing in reverse applies to trans males. This why so-called conversion therapy is destined to fail before it starts. Studies are showing that the brains of trans women more closely resemble female brains in action.
Many trans women may never be passible, but that doesn't change the fact of their being what they are. This isn't a want, this is a need.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Not the case in my life or my stories
While my father wasn't what I'd call supportive, he certainly wasn't the bad guy either. As a result, my one attempt to write a story with an antagonist father failed miserably. I couldn't even get the first chapter finished. I had no one to base the character on.
My stories either have a missing father or a supportive father. As examples of the latter:
Jamie Finds Acceptance
Tight Money
In the father is accepting role:
Millie's Release
In the one story I managed to cast dad in the antagonist role, he did come around:
The CNA
In all of the others Dad is missing and in one, The Crush: Patty’s Dilemma, Mom was the perceived antagonist.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann