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So! I've been trying to continue writing Eden's reality for a while now, but I haven't had much luck. I've made a lot of mistakes with the story, mainly pushing up important scenes so that they'd happen earlier in the story because I was worried readers would get bored/lose interest in the story if I didn't, and it threw the whole thing off balance. Eden wasn't supposed to be changed until his first night at school but I moved that forward, and as such Alexis and he never kissed, and Yani didn't appear until much later, after even Julia was introduced. There were a few other minor changes as well (some of which I deleted as soon as I added it, leading to me finally realizing just how badly I'd messed up. Grandma! Also I actually hate Koalas and initially the story started with a friendly snake on a log that almost bit Eden when he hugged it cos he's kinda dumb sometimes. I changed it because I needed the spider to attack Eden and I wanted him to be in a tree, and in the second edit the spider actually killed the koala and ate it, but that ended up being a bit too gruesome so I changed it to just being a gross old jerk koala), and the pacing was meant to be a lot better.
And I'm not happy with it. I was too impatient, anxious and all around naive. One of my favorite metaphors is that you can't build a building on a faulty foundation and that's exactly what's happened to this story. I ruined the foundation and now nothing can be built on it without collapsing inwards.
So, I'm going to re-write it, following the plan I initially wrote down. I'm sorry >.< I know a few of you really like the story and I don't hate it, but it's just a squashed mess that's oozing about, unable to take form. I'm fine with leaving it up, because the re-write will be significantly different, although the scenes at home will be the same. (or maybe it should be deleted? I'm not sure on the regulations for that here)
Thankyou so much for all of the support and feedback I got on it! I learnt a lot from writing it, it was the first project that I was interested in sharing with people. It'll be a while before I start re-writing it, because I need to finish up A World Without Me's first Part and then I want to post a small, semi-solo story and then I want to dig into writing an actual trans story that's not like, magical* or as dark as A World Without Me. And not some kind of not-really-erotica-but-kinda-is-anyway like Truth's Purity
Long story short, I messed up! But I've learnt from my mistakes now (Kinda >.>) and now I'll make new, hopefully less foundation-destroying, mistakes.
Thankyou! ==
Comments
Good news
I've been watching carefully for more Eden. I'm really interested in the story.
I hope Eden and her mother don't suffer too much.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully it won't be too long of a wait before it starts coming out!
Not a fox
Revision
Revision is always good. I've heard it said that there's no good writing, only good rewriting. I'm not sure if I read it in "The Language Instinct" by Steven Pinker. I do know he wrote something like this: "The world is coming to an end! Our young writers aren't revising enough!" He was be facetious, of course.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
That's true! I have to read
That's true! I have to read through everything a few times before I post it, and even then mistakes slip in or I don't like how something is later on and need to change it.
I will look into The Language Instinct, I haven't read nearly as much about writing as I should
Not a fox
Not About Writing
Actually, "The Language Instinct" (published in the late '80s, IIRC) isn't about writing. It's about the oral language instinct in humans. The comment about revising enough was a facetious response to the Jeremiahs who think the world is coming to an end because of language drift.
I just noticed my own typo that I missed in the comment you replied to. (And, thanks to Preview, I noticed and fixed a typo in that last sentence.)
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Revision is never done even
Revision is never done even if the story is completed. Trust me on this, it's been 18 months and I still find things in my first book that I wanted to do differently.
Just think of it this way- you can always rewrite the story after you finish, but the key thing is to just finish it your way. I am about to rewrite one of my stories that didn't come out quite the way I wanted it to and hopefully it flows better and fits in with the later stories that I wrote. You can do this to, but if the story's current form bothers you enough you can always remove it and rerelease it with the improvements and we, your faithful readers, won't blame you one bit.
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Thanks :) I hope you have
Thanks :) I hope you have success with rewriting your story!
I'll probably remove it when i start releasing the revised version, to make things simpler
Not a fox
I'd love to see...
...what you might come up with. :-) I've been enjoying the story so far, but wouldn't mind seeing it come closer to what you'd like for it.
Also, koalas can be right nasty buggers when something manages to finally percolate through their little brains. ^^ I much prefer wombats...
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
Wombats are okay! They tend
Wombats are okay! They tend to keep to themselves and are fairly quiet, unlike Koalas
Not a fox
On the other hand...
...my god, but they burrow. Under/through everything. O.o Yet another delight to watch for when bushwalking... ^^; But they are adorable! *has a plushie one she got in Sydney.* Lisa's parents's place near Merriwa is full of them. :-)
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"