I also have a problem with some usages of words, and it is JUST as bad IN our community, so how can we expect it to be BETTER outside it.

when i first came to realize who and what i was, i did research, and more research. so whos definition of words DO YOU USE? the medical establishment says i am a transsexual (someone who is proceeding with changing their body physically to the opposite sex to match their inner self, well more or less) which is UNDER the transgender umbrella term covering pretty much ANYONE who is NOT male/female binary (intersex, etc want to be listed separately, etc, but it just makes the confusion even GREATER doing this, as technically a lot of them are "transsexuals" only because the doctor/parent got it wrong a birth when they Picked the sex to be for the child). where someone who is just wearing clothes would be defined as a cross dresser (in the original data i found, they had the term transvestite still, defining it as a cross dresser, who had a sexual element involved, not just dressing) but are not really "female" its just about the clothes. but they have the same issues trans do, go into a male bathroom and get harassed at best, if not hit to beaten, some times with stays in the hospital involved. so should they be covered as a "trans" person for the restroom issue? for some its yes, for others its no. what is the difference between a pervert dressed like a woman and a cross dresser? their intent while in the restroom, cross dressers are there just to pee, wash hands and touch up things if needed, a pervert is there for nefarious reasons, so the cis community is afraid, and how are they to tell the difference, and i can understand their reason, even if i dont agree with it

so this being said NOT all transgender persons are medically transitioning, or transitioning at all. THIS is part of what people fear. anyone on HRT, properly, should be sexually unable to assault someone, but a cross dresser or a non op, non hrt gender variant COULD (dont go off on me, i am just showing you what I HAVE been getting back from the public as i have been fighting this all over the internet), and how is the average person to know who is who? do we wear dog tags, or a pink letter T, or the trans symbol like the nazi's did to jews? i am on HRT, pre op, but i am legally female, using the fed government rules. only document not updated yet my birth certificate, which is from CA, and its more bureaucratic bs than denying the change. having to fill it out on THEIR paper to be legal is just asinine, but i digress.

so how does using a SINGLE Term, that is meant to be an umbrella term, as a singular term for transsexuals helping EITHER. i totally understand, like hermaphrodite and transvestite and tranny, some words and terms have negative connotations to them, but it has to stop somewhere. people hear transsexual and think it is about the sex ACT not the physical sex of our bodies, i get it believe me. but it has to stop somewhere, changing the terms at a whim, using them for whatever feels right FOR YOU. we need a cogent list of types, it needs to be universal as POSSIBLE, between our community, the government AND the medical community

no one should be belittled, on ANY side of a debate (arguments are nasty, silly things, real discussion, or debate, is what is needed here) should be avoided, even if "they started it" (does THAT sound familiar to any parents, aunts or uncles? yep the cry of a child trying to defend their rudeness to others. dont get me wrong, i have fallen into that mindset as well, especially when the trolls try to make it personal when the facts and science i present cant be debunked)

so, how to fix this? with the large number of INDEPENDENT groups with their own agenda's, and NOT willing to band together in support for fear of losing control, it wont be. it needs groups at the local level banding together, then them banding together with groups in the state/province, and then talk at the national level. no not everyone will be happy, but ONCE we HAVE accomplished this, we have some authority to say "hey, THIS is how we want to be address/classified/listed as, NOT what YOU came up with." then MORE work will ensue as government AND the medical establishment will try to defend their positions, or they will look weak, compromises might be made, etc. but THEN, and ONLY THEN will we have a comprehensive, and COHESIVE use of terms.

as i am a transsexual (Katie and I had talked about this term a LOT and came up with multiple different ideas, transgender SHOULD be the proper one, but as it has been used for other purposes, its a moot point. finding a name that is descriptive, easy to remember/spell/read AND that people can get behind will be a hard task, but worthwhile i believe, and so did she) i get the feeling that people think we are just about sex, with all the sex industry, and some of our sisters doing work there (which i do NOT denigrate, but it just not my thing) it DOES give the impression that WE ARE just about sex, and some of that is being FORCED sex (makes you wonder who on the christian right is watching this to KNOW about it but hey, whatever, lol) and that makes people AFRAID, as it is tantamount to rape (yes its like tv, its scripted, but how many people think that "reality tv" is really not scripted in any way?) so those with the axe to grind, for whatever reason, use these things to put us in a bad light, so we have terms that many associate with porn, prostitution, etc, but never mention the vast majority of us who are just who we are, parents, aunts/uncles, workers at many types of jobs, etc.

sorry for the long post, but it seems that some are getting upset over things that should NOT be an issue, its a matter of understanding terminology,and USING the same terminology, not what YOUR group uses it for, vs what the OTHER group uses. if we cant straighten out (pun definitely INTENDED, come on people laugh a little) our own issues, how can we expect others to understand us enough NOT to be afraid we are NOT what we say we are?