I don't know whether it is the weight or the constant attacks, but I've become quite the recluse. I hardly go out. I save the shopping for Felix, I don't to church any more, and I almost didn't go to the doctor's yesterday because the thought of someone seeing me made me a bit mental.
I don't want to figure out why. I don't even know if even want to get better. I feel bad for Felix who has the occasional need to be social. I often wonder if people think he made me up. Anyway. Today I went out and met with people I didn't know. It was a victory and, in a way, made me sad. I went to JennaFL' house. She has lived in the area for 2 years and this was the first time I bother to pay a visit. It was a half hour drive. Kind of sucks that I waited until after she died. I think our reclusiveness got the better of ourselves. Either way, I met with Jennifer's SO and the people in her life. Unfortunately we are running on parallels and I better get serious about dieting or ...
I at least got a chance to say good bye in a sense. Since she was also full figured, I wound up buying her wardrobe. So now I got a bunch of new clothes. I have to go through it all, but maybe that can motivate me some.
In the end. The one thing I've learned. We probably should be better towards each other. Life is short.
Comments
I am sorry for that loss.
My first friend to die happened when I was 6 years old. Guy who I loved to sit in the lap of and draw space rockets with died in the freak accident almost 40 years ago.
Then there was a friend who was in the other school and was killed by random crazy hooligans while walking home after a party...
About extra weight. There is only one thing you have to know or understand. 99% of your weight is inyour brain. Only 1% is in any way affected by your genes or hormones. Yes, me myself is struggling to get my weight to under 200 pounds. And there was a small success that I had not gained any weight in the last year. But I am not too good in following my own advice. I love my beer too much...
On the othed hand I gave up on trying to look in any way female some 25 years ago. I can function while presenting as male.
I know that it is a huge challenge to control your weight after being in any kind of professional sport.
But. I believe that you as a former professional sportsperson will be able to cull your craving for hamburger.
Jenna's death was extremely unexpected. I am crying. I am sorry... I have no formal right to.... But I consider you my friend and I will be saddened if anything will happen to you. Please hang in there and don't forget too keep your health in check.
Aniway... Jenna's death was sudden, unexpected and just plain wrong. In her posted pictures she was so full of life...
Just one more name we will not see in the comments here anymore...
AMEN
AMEN on the life being to short . May your life shine for many more years . I hear what you say about not getting together . Maybe we who live in Florida need to organize a lunch date .