Nineteen months after my GRS I am going to tell my mom she has a new daughter. I have held off because my mom is from the pre-depression era and still in school when WWII began. She has that Egyptian disease Duh Nile. So I have been trying to figure out how to tell her. Many months were lost, the way I am telling her is the direct approach.
My siblings and cousins know as well as my Uncle, every one said they would not tell my mom.
My mom and I had a lot of difficulties while I was growing up. I was the first son of the first son of the first son, ergo I could do no wrong. The only one who could correct me was my dad. I did make on error that got my dad o let me know I truly screwed up. I threw a brick at my mom, it didn't hit her but it scared her. she went into the house and did not say anything to me. When my dad came home from work I was in the yard to greet him. Yep I was sucking up big time. dad said nothing, went into the house and a few minutes later and called me over using my full name (that was the indicator I was in serious trouble). I got in front of him, he kneeled down in front of me and put each hand on my shoulders. He looked me in the face and said "Don't you ever throw any thing at my wife again!" I got the message. after he passed away when I was thirteen. My mom and I became mortal enemies. It stayed that way even after I went into the military. she told me one time to not to come home on leave as I was to violent for her. In 1986 was the last time I have been home to my mothers house. I had retired from the Navy and moved to Delaware. I have seen my mom for eight days in the past 29 years. Our relationship now is very strong and I can finally talk to her about things that I never talked to her about before. With all of that said, my opportunity has arose for me to tell my mom she has a third daughter.
(Any spelling or Grammar errors are to be ignored as the writer does not have her glasses on while typing this.)
Comments
Please let me know how it goes.....
I have tried telling my mother on multiple occasions, but I can never get her away from my father. Due to health issues, I am reluctant to tell my father; as far as he knows, I am his only son, and even though we had major differences (there's a euphemism!) when I was growing up, we eventually settled into a loose version of peace between us.
My father is a recovering alcoholic, and was a very mean drunk most of my life. His alcoholism was functional, meaning he was capable of working and functioning during the day, then would come home every night and start in with cocktails before dinner, wine with dinner, and then drinks after dinner. Literally every night he would get shitfaced. Sometimes it was simply sit and drink in front of the TV until he fell asleep, but other times, without rhyme or reason, something would set off the time bomb and he would become violent.
As the only boy, as I grew up I felt it was my duty to step inbetween him and whoever his target was - my mother, my sisters, etc. Of course, even then I knew I wasn't a boy - but I was trying to be the person everyone expected me to be.
After graduating from high school, I moved as far as I could from my family for college - some 3000 miles of separation. I graduated from college on an ROTC scholarship and entered the US Navy - an act which didn't endear me to any of my relatives. It wasn't the college or the military service which bothered them - it was the Navy. You see, service is a tradition in my family. I come from a good, old southern family where sons are supposed to serve - but in the Army. OK, the Air Force is almost acceptable; after all, it started out as the Army Air Corps, you know. And yes, I actually did hear that from one of my uncles.
Eventually, years later I showed up at a family reunion in dress uniform, complete with a security escort of two Marines. I commanded an ANGLICO detachment, and my Marine NCOIC had become very concerned about me, and very protective - hence, I was accompanied pretty much everywhere by at least one member of my units security team; that's not something I need to go into here, but those wonderful young men had figured out a few things about me that I wouldn't even admit to myself yet. Just suffice it to say they were very protective of their sister.
So, seeing me in dress whites, complete with decorations, and with two very attentive Marines in dress uniform, had quite an impact on my father, as well as the rest of my relatives. Apparently, the Navy was never an issue after that as I had evidently given my father something to be proud of and brag about. Yeah, just before he had that one drink too many and turned into an asshole again.
Anyway, I digress. Please let me know how it goes with your mother. I am very interested in how you approach her, and how she reacts. I have to find a way to do this myself - sooner rather than later.
I hope it goes well for you, and I hope you and your mother find the love between a mother and daughter.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus