i need a proofreader or editor

A word from our sponsor:

The Breast Form Store Little Imperfections Big Rewards Sale Banner Ad (Save up to 50% off)
Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

I am trying to write a long story and i posted my first feeble attempt here last night and a revised version this morning.
I kind of suck as reviewing my own work and hopeing someone can help me proofread and a full edit.

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post: