Author:
Stopped as the wheels don't seem to want to roll unless there is a high priced liquid in the tank. A horse would be more expensive. Guess I'll stick with the old jalopy until I can train the goats to pull a cart. Life is so expensive any more.
Lady pulled into the pump behind me. I was at the back of my get mobile and she was at the front of hers. It was kind of a mutual greeting when she looked me up and down. "Are you a rodeo queen?"
Kinda put skid marks in my brain tracks for a fraction of a second. "No ma'am, I was raised on a farm with horses, cows, and other livestock."
"You love horses? You look pretty."
"Thank you. Yes ma'am I love horses."
My attire was Tan leather jacket with oodles of fringe. Black cowgirl hat, wide engraved and tooled western belt with a huge cowboy belt buckle, and jeans. Also dream catcher silver earrings. Nothing special, only normal for me. If I haven't crawled off the tractor or other get down and dirty things, headed to town for part or equipment.
I try and look half way human. There were, and still are, so many beautiful trans women who have shown all of us how it should be done. The ladies have also shared so much knowledge in hormones and makeup tips. If one is trans it is more than a challenge in one's own personal life to make the best of what one has been blessed with but to also be the best example for those who will follow us. My best to not be another trans except when I'm trying to educate those who haven't a clue why and how it happens. My desire is to simply be another woman. I think I achieve it best when I blend in not stand out.
There are many beautiful ladies on this channel, in heart and soul. If one is trans the best possible outcome is to accept one's self no matter what others may say or think. It's your life, live it.
Hugs People
Barb
Life is a gift meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.
Comments
Blending in
You touch on a very important point, and I believe it should be truly emphasized much more often in order to counteract the current backlash against us trans people.
That includes dressing your age! Though sadly that is advice that even many a vain cis-woman ignores at her own peril. Many look just ridiculous, instead of younger than they are.
For me, in my mid-50s, I just avoid those dresses that are little more than long blouses or tunics. I also avoid bright or eye-catching colors, opting instead for more muted, pastel tones. And even without any make-up I get consistently ma'am-ed. (Maybe it also has to do something with a more LGBTQ+ society?)
So YES, as a community we should make it clear to every one of our T-sisters that it is best when we blend in, and NOT stand out! That especially includes high level [professional] sports competitions. There is no problem with participating in sports, but insisting on competing in sports is a recipe for social backlash and fostering intolerance against trans people.
Yes, I am aware that Renée Richards won lawsuits that forced the tennis association to accept her as a female competitor. Years later she acknowledged that forcing her acceptance as a female competitor was not only un-wise but also problematical.
The older I get
The older I get, the easier it is to blend in. Every time I went out in public, that's all I ever wanted to do. Just to walk through a crowd and have no one take notice of me.
There's an event in the state just north of mine that happens every spring. Esprit Gala. You may have heard of it. My electrologist is a regular attender with her trans woman spouse.
She told me it was easy to tell the difference between the trans woman and the cis woman spouse. The trans women all wear dresses or skirts while the cis women wear pants.
I've never been able to get the time away to got to Esprit, but it I did, I'd put a kink in that reasoning. While I enjoy wearing dresses and skirts. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I wear pants. I try to have a discrete amount of lace visible at my neck line or often wear blouses that are just sheer enough that the outline of my bra or camisole can be seen by the discerning eye. My goal is to look like any other septuagenarian woman.
That means if I do wear a dress or a skirt, the shortest it can be is a solid knee length. More often or not, it's mid-calf. While my tops can have some color to then my pants are always grey, black or dark brown in winter. In the summer, I might venture out in white pants or over the knee shorts that are some shade of khaki.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
"High fashion" here
- is a quilted coat, various lengths (mine goes to mid calf) and a wooly hat with a faux fur bobble on its top. Hey it's a warm combo too!
Goes with whatever is on the leg and foot.
A yes for dressing for one's age in public.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
Of course
Blending in is a very desirable thing which is quite easy when you are pretending to be male!
Question is, who do you blend with? I don’t often wear trousers, I own a couple of pairs but the main reason for me isn’t so much preferring skirts/dresses but a practical thing, after my DVT in 2017 I have issues with actually getting legs wide enough to wear comfortably. I do wear leggings but generally I’m partnership with a tunic/skirt.
As for dressing age appropriate, which age? My head still thinks I’m in my 20’s despite fast approaching 62! I think most of the time I get it sort of right, most people will see what they want to see, f you dress like drag queens that’s what they see, if you wear the same as everyone else you are much more likely to ‘pass’.
My recent experience in Germany is that even when not wearing a skirt I was addressed as Fraulein as often as not. Here in the UK less so. Maybe I should wear more makeup?
Anyhoo, I prefer skirts above the knee for daily wear- if you are going to be in the minority may as well embrace it lol.
Mads
Madeline Anafrid Bell
I will concur...
That Maddy does not hide who she is. That takes a lot of (you know what).
Going shopping with her is an experience. Go for it girl!
Samantha
Don't know
what you mean lol
I'm quite demure, honest!
Madeline Anafrid Bell
Growing old is compulsory.
Growing old is compulsory. Growing up isn’t.
Since my transition……..
I have spent an inordinate amount of time in an office, and as such I also spend a great deal of time dressed professionally. Having said that, I work in the logistics and supply chain field - I am the VP of Supply Chain for a major corporation - which also means that I spend a lot of time walking around in distribution centers, or production facilities, and even considerable time around trucks and with drivers.
This means that while I am usually in a dress or skirt suit with heels in the office, there is always a pair of slacks (or jeans) and flats either in my office closet or in my car. Walking on catwalks in a skirt or dress is a non-starter (I made that mistake exactly one time, lol), not to mention heels. And don’t even get me started about climbing into an 18 wheeler in a skirt - or how much it pisses me off to get grease on an expensive piece of clothing!
Sooooooo…….. yes, dressing appropriately is important. But what is appropriate changes based on when and where you are.
Also, I am 64 years old, although I am told that I look considerably younger. I agree that at my age I cannot, and should not, dress like a teenager. But I refuse to dress like Grandma Moses either. I can and do dress in clothing that tastefully shows off my best assets - and am not afraid to dress to attract attention. But always tastefully, lol. I am a proud woman, not a whore, and want to be seen as a well dressed, attractive woman who fits in - but stands out.
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Huh ?
What does being trans have to do with it?
Anybody who wants to be taken seriously will at a minimum at least try to dress the part. It depends always on context.
This particular posting presumes already that one has been clocked and that the person reviewing the trans person thinks they are trans otherwise what is the difference between this and any other woman-on-woman encounter?
I am just a lowly software engineer and not even in management so I can pretty much dress as I please these days.
I started out 34 years ago in my first post-transition engineering job in the usual dressed up fashion, sure, (I even got in on the whole big shoulder pad fashion in suits) but by the mid 90's that had already faded by a lot.
All things fashion keep changing but the only thing that remains constant is how one acts and behaves and sound (yes voice MATTERS!) when interacting with the world.
You have a valid point……
In that dressing appropriately should apply to everyone, men and women, trans or cis.
But I believe the point here is that unfortunately many transgender women, especially early in their transition, tend to have trouble with that concept. Maybe it’s because a lot of us missed out on growing up as our true selves, or perhaps it’s because we never got to play dress-up when we were children. It could simply be that we missed out on that phase that many teenage girls go through where they rebel and dress in some of the most inappropriate and over the top outfits they can find.
Many of us never had an opportunity to go through that phase, at least until much later in life anyway. There is also the fact that it takes time to develop a fashion sense, especially when your body doesn’t exactly fit the so-called ideal put forth by society and fashion designers.
Either way, I am sure that we have all seen some of our sisters walking around in clothing that could not be called appropriate at the best of times, let alone when and where they are wearing it. Hell, many of us have probably been there ourselves - I can remember wearing some outfits that really did not look good at all, lol. Luckily, I went through that fashion phase while hidden away in a hotel room, afraid to be seen in public. By the time I was willing and comfortable enough with myself to be seen in public, I had a better idea of what looked good on me and was appropriate for the occasion. Also, I was lucky enough to have a loving spouse who helped me with what looked good, although I will say that it took time for her to become comfortable with the fact that I prefer to dress more feminine than she does - a fact which annoys her at times as she doesn’t like to get dressed up as much as I do. She dresses nicely all the time, but she likes to be more casual than me at times and apparently I make her feel the need to dress less casual.
I do dress in a younger style than she does at times, but we are working on that with her. My spouse has always been a little self-conscious about her weight, her legs, her shape……..but between myself, my daughter-in-laws, and her sisters, we are getting her beyond that and into clothing that looks good on her - less frumpy if you will. Also, because she has problems with her feet and knees, she doesn’t wear heels nearly as often as I do - a fact which bothered her for some time, but she has gotten accustomed to me in heels. I am taller than her, and in three inch heels it puts me slightly over six feet - not to mention what four inch heels do, lol. So she usually wears lower heels than I, but we have found her some stylish shoes that are comfortable for her to wear.
But, to address your point, transgender women are not the only ones who dress inappropriately - but perhaps we have more to lose by doing so. No one wants to look like a drag queen - well, except for drag queens that is. I see cis-gender women everyday that need to have someone teach them how to dress, but they don’t need to worry about some MAGA asshole verbally abusing them because of their lack of fashion sense. Not the least bit fair, but being born trans isn’t fair either.
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
We Are Like Snowflakes
Despite everyone outside looking in at us trying to stamp all of us as one size fits all in their own mind. Despite the same blessing so many have received with more or less different abundance in the Gender-Blender. There is no one on this Big Blue Marble we all live on, who can say what each individual is or isn't except the person living inside the mortal body they occupy.
Ladies, men, don't let anyone else define who you are and even more important who you aren't. Personally I don't like body art. I've seen first hand some amazing tattoos. A man and his wife? were covered from head to toe with body art. I talked to both of them, really nice couple. What does one do when it becomes less interesting? Not like changing clothes is it. What is it going to look like when they get old and all wrinkly?
Denim mini skirts and bikini top is nice for working in the field, with the livestock, or garden. Leaves some really nice body art my doctors find interesting. It all fades away until the next summer. Unless it was a dire emergency not something I'm wearing to the store. That time is mine and mine alone although I had friends and strangers stop by at the wrong time. Not a big deal, as it's my land, my home, and I'm "always" packing.
The thing I want everyone to remember is to live your life, be respectful of others. Ladies, men, we are the smallest minority and we are leaving a legacy for those who follow us. It would be nice if all those outside looking in understood we are human too just like themselves. Don't leave an impression trans are a bunch of psychopathic freaks. Remember we are individuals, there will be the ones who are in for shock value. There is also those who aren't trans. They want the identity to cover their own escapades. Sadly the tabloids and legacy news likes the outrageous without researching if it is true or not. Then all of us get painted with the same mindset.
My daddy told me it takes only one Uh Oh to void all the Atta Boys one had. The smallest minority is dealing with that kind of thought train.
Hugs People
Barb
I love all of God's misfits. Each and everyone is special in their own unique way. No Two Alike.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl