Derek was stunned by what Claire had just told him. He’d been so certain about wanting to be with Claire for the rest of his life. For her to say that when she did, turned his world upside down but not in the way he’d expected.

She took his hand in hers.
“I am sorry to drop that bombshell on you, but I would have to tell to you sooner or later. If you or your family start talking about children, then it could get awkward.”

“Thank you for being honest with me Claire. To be honest, I have never thought about having children but I know that my mother would start talking about our plans within an hour of you being introduced to her, but given what happened during my last visit, she has a lot of forgiving to do before I go back. She had arranged a dinner with an old girlfriend without me knowing. She wanted to get married and I didn’t so I left the area and went down to London. That was seven years ago.”

“Don’t you mind about me being trans?”

Derek had just about recovered his composure.
“Claire, to me you have always been a woman. Everything about you screams to me ‘woman’. I never really told you what I studied at University after I dropped out of Music School?”

“What’s that got to do with all this?”

“I studied Psychology and obtained a Masters. Then I did a PHD in ‘Visual recognition of human characteristics.’”

“What does that mean?”

“My thesis was all about how people give themselves away through what they say and act. Some people call it a ‘tell’. That’s what got me noticed by the Civil Service. That paper was later adopted by the security services and used in training agents. You can use it to give false information as well as hiding the truth. Everything I saw and have seen in you says ‘I am female’.”

Claire didn’t say anything.
“Claire darling, I have to admit to analysing you. I know that I shouldn’t have done it but I’ve been hurt too many times by women lying to me. That was what made me choose that subject for my PHD.”

Then he stopped himself.
“Sorry Claire, I was rambling.”

“I’ve never felt how I feel about you with anyone else,” said Claire softly.

“The same here. I’m still confused. Why don’t you tell me all about how you got to where you play some of the most delightful music ever composed almost every day?”

Claire smiled.
“I will but first, I think it is time for dinner… Lasagne good for you? There is a bottle of Chianti Classico in the kitchen.”

“It is but I must not get drunk. I have my big day before the UN Committee tomorrow.”

[two hours later]

It was a troubled Derek who left Claire's home after a very nice meal. He'd limited himself to just one glass of excellent wine not because as he had said, he had a big day ahead of him, but because of his problems that were almost dominating their conversation.

He walked the 10 blocks to where he was sleeping on a sofa bed without really knowing where he was going. Derek's mind was focused on his own issues that had come to the fore when Claire had told him that she was a male-to-female transsexual.

His problem stemmed from the fact that Derek was an occasional transvestite. From time to time, he just loved to wear women’s clothes for a few hours in the privacy of his own home. He’d visited Claire with every intent of not only asking her to come to England with him but to tell her about his inner demon, but she’d beaten him hands down.

As much as he tried, sleep that night was difficult. Being from the UK where domestic air conditioners are as rare as hens’ teeth especially high up in the Yorkshire Dales where there is almost always a cool breeze. He could never get used to the sound of the one in his temporary home. The late summer NYC nights are never cool or quiet and with his mind going at a million miles per hour he couldn’t relax.

The coming dawn was starting to light up the sky to the east over Long Island when he gave up sleep as a bad job. After a long shower, he went out for an early breakfast. This was not normal for Derek but this was not going to be a normal day. It looked like it was going to be his ‘Longest Day’.

Derek arrived at the office just after 07:00. That was very, very early for him but he had to work on his speech. Well, that was what he told himself when he declined to take the subway and took a cab. Like going out for breakfast, this was very much out of character for him. When he was still a teenager, he’d found out that doing things out of the ordinary was a good way of getting his mind off the important things for at least a few hours. So far that day, he’d done very little that the Derek of just one day earlier would have done.

He continued that trend by making sure that as his colleagues arrived for work, they were greeted by him and given a coffee or tea of their choice. This distraction operation got Derek noticed and talked about by almost everyone for the first time in the seven months that he’d been working on secondment in NYC.

Even his boss noticed the change. He put it down to nerves before presenting the work of their sub-committee to the full committee. In just a few hours, he’d be standing before representatives of more than sixty sovereign nations. All their eyes and ears would be on him and him alone.

Several of his colleagues stopped at his desk to wish him luck but his mind was very much elsewhere. He knew that it was happening but he could not tell who had done it or what they'd said.

Shortly before it was time to head to the committee room, his mind cleared enough for him to drink his now cold cup of tea. After gathering his notes and the report he went off to give the report.

Derek focussed his mind on the delivery and answering the ten or so questions at the end. To his surprise, the committee gave him a round of applause.

He sat down exhausted but his job was done.

The chairwoman of the committee, a large woman from Sierra Leone came to congratulate him.
“Well done. Your team has done a great job in bringing the different factions together,” she said to him.
Her brightly coloured robes momentarily dazzled him.

“Thank you representative M’bawe. It was as you say, a team effort, everyone played their part.”

That was the first of many people congratulating him. For someone who had lived his life in the shadows, this was a new and slightly bewildering experience. It took him well over 15 minutes before he was able to extract himself from the room. Once he was outside, he stood with his back to the wall of the corridor and breathed a sigh of relief. He stood there for nearly five more minutes with his eyes closed before heading back to his office.

His job was now done and there was nothing more to do apart from clearing the few personal belongings from desk drawers and leave. His colleagues were having none of that. They had plans for a celebratory lunch but he was saved by someone saying in his ear,

“You have a visitor.”

Derek had never had a visitor before so those four words took him by surprise. It took him a few seconds before he was able to see the throng of people before him move aside and a vision of beauty appeared before him.

“Claire? What are you doing here?”

She grinned.
“Can’t I come to support the man I love?”

Derek was immediately embarrassed by this show of affection. That was not his style at all.

Thankfully, the others who worked in the office let them leave together.

“I listened to your presentation. I hardly understood a word of it but it seemed to go down well,” said Claire.

“It did so thanks. You just took me by surprise.”

“I wanted to see you perform your last duty here. I know that it meant so much to you.”

“Thanks for coming. To be honest, I am at a bit of a loss about what to do next. I was just going to slope off and get some sleep. I didn’t get much last night.”

Claire looked slightly disappointed.

“But as you are here then we should do something this afternoon but I am at a bit of a loss about what that should be?”

Claire thought for a moment before saying,
“Fancy a train ride out to Long Island? Long Beach to be exact.”

“Sounds ok. Can we pick up something to eat along the way? I had breakfast at six this morning.”

“I know a great place that will be perfect.”

“Then let me lock these files up and we can be on our way.”

We walked out of the office arm in arm, knowing that every eye was on Claire. She was by a long way the most beautiful woman there. Derek knew that he’d be the subject of the office gossip for the rest of the week.

---

Two hours later, they found a nice spot to have their lunch. As they were eating, Claire said,
“Ok, out with it. You have not really told me what you feel about me being trans.”

Derek slowly finished chewing a bit of his ‘sub’ before answering.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer before, but it was a bit of a shock.”

“It always is. Most of the time you don’t see them for the dust the leave as they head for the hills but you didn’t.”

“I know. I spent most of the night trying to work out what to say and how to say it.”

“I’m listening and as far as I know we don’t have a train to catch for a bit?”

“Claire…”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“When you told me about yourself, I got very confused.”

Claire began to say something, but Derek stopped her.

"I was confused because I was going to say that from time to time I like to dress as a woman… just in my home. That is what I was going to tell you.”

Claire didn't say anything for several seconds, but slowly a smile came over her face.
“I knew that you were different from other men that I’ve had in my life… apart from your love of classical music. But…?”

“That is a whole bridge too far?”

Claire shook her head.
“No… not in the least. Despite my own past and yes, I started just like that, wearing my big sister Eileen’s clothes. Then I got caught by my mom. Eileen took to treating me as her baby doll. I didn’t mind but after that it didn’t matter that I wore her clothes all the time at home.”

“I… my childhood was just the opposite to that. My family found my stash of clothes and threw me out into the rain. I nearly died from pneumonia. Five weeks in Hospital. After that I was never allowed to be at home on my own. I gave up until I had a place of my own when I was at Oxford doing my PHD. One day I got a surprise visit from my parents who went through my clothes and everything before I returned home from teaching a postgraduate class. It was my turn to throw them out and we have not spoken since.”

“But… you said that they run a hotel in…? Yorkshire?”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t think things through. I’m so sorry. They do run a hotel, but until I met you it looked like going back to them was my only option.”

“What about your cottage?” asked Claire ignoring what I had just said.

“I own it, but it is a wreck. I have planning permission… permits you call them, to knock it down and build something new. That’s why I’ve been sleeping at an old friends place rather than at a hotel. We are in a ‘per-diem’ expenses allowance. I can spend up to a certain amount without receipts. When I get home, I will have enough money to do the next stage of the rebuild."

“Is your invitation for me to come with you still open?”

“It is but I can only offer what you people call a trailer home to live in until the build is done. It isn’t much and it isn’t very warm in winter but all being well, most of the new house will be delivered in January.”

“Delivered?”

“Yes, it is coming from Sweden as a kit of parts.”

“I don’t know?”

“About coming with me?”

“There is a little matter of a Visa. I am not exactly very employable. I don’t have a college degree to fall back on.”

“You have your music.”

"What are the job prospects for someone who can play classical music outside the big cities? Not good. Believe me, I have tried. Once they find out about my history they don't call back. Those orchestras are very conservative organisations. They rely on donations from even more conservative companies. Employing a transwoman is guaranteed to come out and they would suffer financially unless they let me go."

“I understand. Many of those big companies have been lobbying against the treaty that will come out of the work that I have been doing.”

“What are you going to do for a job once the new house is built?”

“The plot of land I own is just over 20 hectares. About 50 acres. It is an established smallholding but at the moment, it is managed by an retired farmer from the other end of the village.”

“Smallholding? As in a farm?”

“Yes.”

“But… I’m a New Yorker. I’m a city gal. The last bit of country I went to was a weekend at Niagara Falls.”

“Then we will both have a lot to learn.”

“Both? Learn?”

I smiled.
“It will be fun. “

Claire didn’t seem impressed. She got up and walked around. Her arms were constantly in motion. After a minute, I recognised that she was conducting the first movement to Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No 3. It is one of my top 10 favourite pieces of music. She was using the melody to concentrate her thoughts.

I smiled.
“Come on Claire take a risk. You took one when you became Claire and this time, you won’t be alone.”

She stopped conducting and sat down next to me.
“It is a big step… for both of us.”

“Then marry me. That will solve the visa problem.”

She screwed her eyes shut but said,
“Will there be room for at least a ‘baby grand’ in this new house of yours?”

“Not in the house but there is a large barn that was left over from when the smallholding was part of a much larger farm. In time, we could turn part of it into a recording studio."

“A recording studio?”

“Yes, finishing those compositions for you got my creative juices going again. With the changes you made we might even be able to record them and put them on YouTube.”

“You have certainly thought this through, haven’t you?”

I grinned and shook my head at the same time.
“All off the cuff I’m afraid. It just came out that way.”

“You are clearly good at thinking on your feet then?”

“Years of experience appearing before committees. You can’t be seen to be broadsided by a surprise question. That’s what got me chosen for this assignment which led me to meet you.”

“Are you pleased that you did?”

“Pleased? Claire, that is about the biggest understatement of the century. I want to share my life with you?”

“I need to think about this.”

I took her hand in mine.
“Why don’t you come with me to England and see what I have to offer. As I said, it won’t be much to begin with but I can show you the plans for my new house.”

Claire smiled.
“If we do turn the barn into a studio then this is the time to get the plans finalised.”

Her smile turned into a grin.

“But, I don’t have a passport.”

“What’s stopping you from getting one? Doesn’t New York allow you to change the sex on your birth certificate?”

“I’ve never needed one… until now.”

“Does that mean that you will come?”

“I do. I’ll come as soon as I can get a passport and sort out a flight.”

Derek leaned over and kissed Claire. He knew that they could make some great music together.
[the end]