The drive back to Luke’s apartment was awkwardly quiet, Luke driving, Tom staring at his big hands wrapped around the steering wheel, trying desperately not to think about what Luke thought of him. Every once in a while Luke would make a passing remark or ask a question, but he kept his thoughts focused on anything other than himself. It felt like an awkward first date, though both thought the other was straight. At one point Luke asked Tom if he was sad about loosing the ability to have kids, Tom quickly responded ‘no’ without really thinking.  Neither really talked about the issue further after that.

They finally arrived at their destination. Luke lived on the third floor of an old building with no elevator. Tom said he could make it up on his own, but Luke, still guilty over his involvement, insisted on carrying him up the stairs. Tom let Luke, though reluctant at first, after feeling the pain from trying the first few steps.

“On three... One... Two.. Three!” The big linebacker Luke scooped up his teammate, one arm under his legs and the other reaching around to his back. Holding the struggling athlete tightly against his solid body he hauled him up three flights of stairs to his place. Luke couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Tom looked in his arms. The wide set shoulders beneath his brown t-shirt and the muscular biceps flexing against the material. Even though Tom was used to the attention by now, he started to feel embarrassed by the sheer size of Luke. When they reached the third floor, Luke carefully put Tom down onto the landing.

Luke continued looking at his feet, and muttered a small apology, unsure what else to say, before heading into the apartment. Tom followed behind him. The place was small, with the essentials: bed, dresser, TV, and couch, all shoved together in a tight living space. There was only one window, and not much light came in through it to illuminate the cramped interior. A collection of sports trophies stood on the opposite wall from the entrance, and a framed picture of a smiling woman hugging a younger Luke hung on the wall.

Luke walked Tom to the couch and sat down next to him, waiting until Tom took a seat before sitting himself. The silence was awkward, neither wanting to talk, though Tom didn’t want to seem too uncomfortable by ignoring him completely.

Finally Luke broke the tension.

“How are you feeling, dude?” He asked softly, nervously.

Tom turned to face Luke and smiled, unsure how to answer the question.

“Well... uh... honestly I feel pretty good... better than expected I guess. It’s gonna take some time to get used to my new body parts.” He admitted.

Luke turned red at Tom’s admission. He wanted nothing more than to say ‘I love you’ and reassure the handsome man, but despite his growing love for the hunky quarterback, he didn’t want to risk their friendship and hurt him. This way at least, Tom wouldn’t suspect something deeper between them. Instead he took a deep breath and replied “Oh wow... Yeah, it will definitely take some getting used to. I’m sorry… you can stay here as long as you want though. I don’t mind at all. You know that, right?” Luke responded sheepishly, hoping Tom would accept his offer.

“And the doctor gave me specific orders on how to help you recover, remember he said three months. So for at least that long you’re stuck with me.”

Luke chuckled nervously. “Alright then... Well... umm... thanks Luke. Thanks for everything.” Tom told him as he pulled the big boy close to him and hugged him.

As Tom held Luke close, he realized just how strong this giant was. He’d always assumed Luke was bigger than everyone else on the team, but seeing him up close made him realize just how massive he really was. His shoulders were broad, but there was no extra fat or padding anywhere. Just pure muscle and bone. Tom looked up at the huge man in awe, having never seen someone so big in person before. But what truly amazed Tom was Luke’s broad chest. The massive muscles underneath the brown t-shirt felt incredibly warm against Tom’s body, almost hot. He wondered what it would be like to run his hands across those gigantic pectorals, feeling every contour and crevice of the monster chest beneath. Tom realized his wandering hands had slipped off Luke’s waist, making contact with the enormous bulge pushing out against his tight shorts. Tom caught himself though, and quickly pulled away before arousing suspicion from the athletic hunk. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about the sensation he felt when he ran his fingers along the mammoth muscle and how soft and supple they felt under his touch. It sent shivers through his entire body, starting in his lower back, shooting down his spine and then radiating outward to every limb. The sight and feel of the muscular stud sitting next to him brought a smile to Tom’s face.

As soon as he could control himself, Tom gently pushed Luke away. He still wanted to cuddle with his friend, but needed to do it without breaking down and revealing his secret desires. Lucky for him he couldn’t have his cover blown by an unsightly erection. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh before turning to face Luke again.

“Uh... why don’t we watch a movie tonight... if that’s okay with you.” Luke suggested.

Tom nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah... that sounds great... movie sounds perfect.” He answered happily. At this point it was already mid afternoon, and evening wasn’t far off. And it looked like rain. A lazy afternoon watching a good movie sounded like just the thing to relax Tom after his ordeal.

“Actually, let’s order some dinner first though, ok? We haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, and that was hours ago.” Tom asked Luke, healing must’ve driven up his metabolism or something because he sure seemed hungry all of a sudden.

The idea of eating sent another surge of adrenaline into Luke’s veins. He suddenly got very hungry too. “Ah, ah, ah, were you not paying attention at all to the doctors? You’re not supposed to eat heavy solid food for at least a week.” Luke reminded him with mock authority.

Tom laughed, trying to act tough.

“Screw the doctors! They’re not running the show around here. And besides, I bet they would approve of me taking a little break for a bite to eat. I mean, it’s been a rough day, and a nice meal will probably make me feel a lot better.” He tried reasoning with Luke.

Luke frowned, annoyed at having to explain this obvious fact, but again moved in closer to Tom. “Well, what can I say? My apologies Mr. Mayfield, my job is to keep you alive and healthy and feed you only nutritious foods. That means no pizza, burgers, Chinese take-out, and especially no chocolate chip cookies. And besides, I went shopping just for you, we’re gonna have a great time trying all kinds of different stuff this week. Ok? Now let’s get some real food into your body, hmm?” Luke held out his hand to Tom, waiting patiently for Tom to take it. Luke guided him to a chair at the table by the kitchen, where he could watch him cook, even thinking as far as to bring a pillow for the hard wooden chair.

He opened the fridge door to look for ingredients, checking them carefully one by one. He found a bag full of spinach leaves, onions, carrots, celery and a chicken breast. Not exactly exotic, but healthy, and pretty much the basics when cooking chicken soup. After chopping the veggies, he set to work cutting up the chicken breasts into small pieces and sautéing the mixture.

Tom was mesmerized at this point. Luke almost had a rhythm to his movements now, like he was dancing. It was like watching a ballet on stage, but Luke wasn’t doing it in front of thousands of people, it was just the two of them and Tom had nothing else to do but watch the big man so meticulously assemble even such a simple meal.

Luke must’ve misread Tom’s reaction, because he smiled at him again and asked “Is something wrong?”

“It’s…just amazing that you know how to do everything so well, Luke.” Tom managed to say with slight embarrassment. “I never knew anyone who could actually cook.”

“Well I am not that amazing really. Just very passionate about food, maybe even a bit obsessed, but I am glad you think so.” Luke said humbly, “Wanna open a bottle of wine? It goes good with food and the smell should make the rest of the house smell nice too. You know, after the mess I caused you down there, the least I can offer is a drink.”

Tom laughed at the comment. “Yes please! I love red wine! It’s my favorite.” Luke pulled up a chair to the small two seated table where Tom was sitting. Tom felt that Luke was sitting in pretty close to him, it could’ve been his imagination though, and he wasn’t complaining. The two would get tipsy and make light conversation as the pot of soup simmered away at the stove.

As the alcohol made its way through their systems and they shared a few laughs, Luke built up the courage to ask Tom a question he had been wondering about but was too afraid to bring up. “So why did you do it?” He finally blurted out, not knowing how else to start the conversation.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Tom didn’t understand.

“I know the accident hurt you pretty bad, but you still had some of your dick left? Or at least that’s what the doctors made it sound like. Why hurt yourself like that and force them to take that away?” Luke waited anxiously for an answer. He couldn’t imagine Tom having wanted this, macho quarterback Tom? No way. He dated a different girl every week?

Suddenly feeling bad for asking, Luke answered with his own doubts: “I don’t want to sound insensitive or anything, but I guess I’m wondering how you’re holding up is all…”

Tom desperately wanted to share the true nature of his desire with Luke, yet he couldn’t face the possibility that he could lose Luke, even if staying quiet might mean he never would have him in the first place. “I just need some time to adjust. I already lost my balls and most of my dick in the accident and the doctors said I’d never be able to have sex the way I was. If I could’ve had it another way I would’ve…” he lied, quickly following up with: “Hey I am sorry for being an asshole. It was an accident and I don’t blame you one bit.” Tom acted like he was struggling to forgive Luke to add credibility to his words, but really he couldn’t have been more grateful for what happened. Here he was, sharing an apartment with a giant handsome stud of a man, and his body was finally corrected. It’s too bad he couldn’t say that, though. His true feelings would’ve scared the living shit out of Luke and he wasn’t ready for that kind of rejection.

“I’m really sorry, and I’m really sorry for bringing it up in the first place. I hope you feel better soon.” Luke stood up to serve dinner, the two were getting starving at this point.

As they sat down to eat, Tom noticed a sad look in Luke’s eyes, and wanted nothing more than to lean in and comfort his host. Maybe even kiss him right then and there. He didn’t understand that Luke shared his feelings, and his fear of rejection.

The two would move to the couch and pick out a movie, a slightly tipsy Luke nearly carrying Tom there. The couch was just big enough for the two of them to make space in the middle, leaving a foot or two between their legs.

Luke was almost outed when brokeback mountain showed up on his recently watched. Tom took notice and said “oh I’ve always wanted to see that, I hear it’s good.” Luke blushed but defended himself “Uhh yeah I just clicked on it accidentally, didn’t watch it though, if you want we can see it? Don’t even really know what it’s about…”

Luke knew damn well what it was about. The two guys were hurting each other more than they realized. They were both too self-conscious to admit it and though both were more interested in each other, watched the movie in silence and kept their distance the whole time.

As the credits rolled Luke turned off the TV and stretched. “That was… weird.” Luke lied again. His heart beating faster than ever before, but he refused to acknowledge his new found desires.

Luke sheepishly reminded Tom of the doctors instructions: “Remember you have to uhm…. dilate your...” both Luke and Tom turned red at his words, ”well I’m going to go put the soup in the fridge while you do that? I guess if you need help, let me know? I have you set up on the couch afterwards.” Luke cringed at his words but secretly hoped Tom took him up on the offer. Tom sighed, knowing it would be a long and restless night for the two of them.