Disasters and World Prunification -- a "B" disaster movie outline

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colin-lloyd-D7jnhK1xFPU-unsplash.jpg picture by Colin Lloyd on Unsplash As is always the case, I'd like to thank Malady for his help when I come up with a mad idea such as this.
He's always there to bounce ideas off of, and proofread the monstrosity before I post it.

This is posted as an outline because... because... because I thought it would be fun to post it like that.

So I was very bored today, and I was watching Prime Video, with its amazing collection of B Disaster films. Then I got to thinking about the Take Your Daughter to Work Day Challenge.

How hard would it be to use the ready-made outline of B Disaster Movies for this idea? It's a very simple outline, I know. Still, it's there, and obviously not copywritten, because EVERY B Disaster Movie uses the same outline! A ready-made outline! Yay!






  1. The Disaster

    1. In space, we can see a star approaching the Earth. It is a Red Giant. In the background, we hear the theme of Jaws playing.

    2. From the other direction, a comet appears, just as the theme of Jaws enters its second stanza.

    3. The Pentagon:

      1. General Bloomin' Idiot surveys his domain. It has been so lovely and peaceful since Heroic Scientist was ousted from his position of prominence with the government. General Idiot is happy President Nice Man finally listened to him and got rid of Scientist.

    1. "Hero!" calls Beautiful Doctor, Heroic Scientist's wife. "You're taking Rebellious Teenage Daughter to work today, right?"

      1. "Are you sure I should do that? She hates me."

      2. "No, she doesn't, Hero. She loves you. You just have to show her you love her."

      3. She’s embarrassed by me.”

      4. Well, Dear, you're a B disaster movie Heroic Scientist."

      5. "Right," Hero replies. "Nobody ever listens to me. And Rebel is embarrassed by that."

        1. (Heroic Scientist and Beautiful Doctor refer to Rebellious Teenage Daughter as Rebel. It's much easier to say.)

      6. Hero,” Beauty argues, “Everyone will listen to you by the end of the week, you know that!”

      7. "Of course, they will. Soon, I'll get a call from President Nice Man, begging me to return to work for the government to fix whatever has gone wrong this week.”

      8. Beauty looks concerned. "Do you know what's happening this week?"

      9. Hero shakes his head. "Nothing yet. Only that the world is gonna prunify if I'm not on it by the end of the day."

      10. He looks around. "Where's Rebel anyway?"

      11. Beauty shrugs. "You know how it always starts. She's in her room, listening to music from her iPhone blasting through her AirPods at a volume that will scramble her brain if she doesn't stop it by the end of the week."

      12. Hero sighs heavily. "Of course," he says resignedly. "I should go get her for work."

    2. In Rebel's room, we see Rebellious Teenage Daughter just as her mother predicted, except with the addition of her chewing bubble gum. She is industriously chewing away and already has a rebellious look ready for Hero's knock.

    3. True to form, there's a knock on the door. Somehow, Rebel hears it and turns the already audible AirPods up even further.

    4. The knocking goes on for about 5.25 minutes, but then the door opens, and Hero sticks his head in the room. "Are you coming?"

    5. Do I have to?” the girl asks.

    6. You said you would,” Hero replies.

    7. I was humoring you," she says, rolling her eyes and rudely chewing the gum with her mouth open, showing her disdain for her parent.

    8. "Come on," Hero says. "You'll enjoy it. Maybe it'll make you want to follow in my footsteps," he urges.

    9. I doubt it,” she argues.

    10. It does every week,” he points out.

    11. She rolls her eyes again and gets to her feet. "Let's get this over with."

  2. The disasters get closer to their appointed time…

    1. In space, the star and comet are moving steadily along, Jaws playing louder, with a stronger beat than before.

    2. General Idiot is in his own private domain, an evil grin on his face.

  3. Hero and Rebel are in his Suburban, traveling somewhere in the wilderness.

    1. We're not really sure where they are.

      1. They are arguing.

        1. "You've never liked me!" accuses Rebel. "Ever since I told you I wasn't Rebellious Teenage Son, but instead, Rebellious Teenage Daughter, you've hated me!"

        2. "Here we go again," Hero mutters under his breath. "Same ole, same ole."

        3. "That figures," Rebel snorts. "Make light of it."

        4. "You're still my kid," Hero says sharply. "You're important to me!"

        5. But do you love me?”

        6. Suddenly, the ground starts shaking, and Hero slows the Suburban.

        7. Rebel nods disgustedly. "Did that hit home? You gonna make me walk?"

        8. "No," Hero says. "Listen!" The ground shakes again, and he says, "Feel that?"

          1. (it makes little sense that he said to listen for the ground shaking, but this is a B movie, so what do you expect?)

        9. Feel what?” Rebel asks.

        10. "Just a second." He stops the Suburban and gets out. Rebel rolls her eyes again and gets out as well.

        11. She walks over to her dad, who tells her, "It's a tremor. About 3.2 on the Richter scale," he says, holding up his finger as if trying to tell which direction it's coming from.

        12. Suddenly, the world shakes harder, and a crevasse opens up, swallowing the Suburban. It opens up more and starts chasing them... They join hands and run, him urging her to run faster.

  4. The Pentagon.

    1. Colonel Bright Man calls out, "General Idiot, Sir! We're getting reports of earthquakes from all over the world."

      1. "Here it comes," Idiot says to himself. "Call in Heroic Scientist!"

      2. "I can't do that, Sir. It's not time yet."

      3. "I suppose you're right. Get me everything I'll need to take to the president."

      4. Colonel Man glares at the General. "Aren't we getting ahead of things? We need to determine this warrants taking to Nice."

      5. Idiot returns the glare. "Really? You think it won't? It ALWAYS needs to go to him."

      6. "General Idiot, Sir, don't you think Nice has enough to worry about?"

      7. Idiot glares. "Yeah, but he got himself elected president. And don't piss me off, Man. Your brother may be the president, but that doesn't give you clearance to treat me like an idiot."

    2. General Idiot is quickly proved right, and the president needs to be briefed.

      1. "Mister President, Sir, We have Earthquakes all over the planet. We have a star approaching us on one side and a comet on the other. "

      2. President Nice Man looks questioningly at Idiot. "So what do you recommend we do?

      3. "We need to call Heroic Scientist ASAP."

      4. "What? You don't have any recommendations?" President Man looks at Idiot disgustedly. "You're a General, Idiot. Act like one!"

      5. "What do you suggest I say? You know we're going to call him eventually. Let's skip all the interim stuff and call him now."

      6. President Man glances at one of his advisors, Intelligent Burro, who quips, "Finally, a good idea from Idiot."

  5. Beautiful Doctor is worried about Heroic Scientist and Rebellious Teenage Daughter.

    1. She has been trying to call both of their mobiles but can't make a connection.

    2. She has just finished the 38th try when her phone rings. "Hero?!" she says expectantly when she answers.

      1. It's not Hero. It's her boss at the local hospital, Earnest Doctor.

        1. He is also her brother.

        2. Tells her they have people swarming into the hospital.

          1. They need her at the hospital.

          2. Lots of injuries from the earthquakes.

    3. Beauty heads to the hospital.

  6. Hero and Rebel are on foot.

    1. Been walking for several miles.

      1. Very tired.

      2. Thirsty.

    2. Come to a run-down shack.

    3. "Let's go in and see if we can rest. Maybe get some water," Rebel suggests.

    4. "We should knock."

    5. "You think someone's home?"

    6. "Just because it looks abandoned doesn't mean it is," he tells her.

    7. "Dad," she says with the familiar eye roll. "We have a worldwide emergency every week. If it looks abandoned, it probably is."

    8. They enter the house and find that the water works, and there's canned soup in the pantry.

      1. No power.

      2. Hero finds a can opener and some spoons, and they eat some soup cold.

    9. The door bursts open as they finish their soup, and a grizzled man enters with a shotgun pointed at them.

      1. "What're you doin' eatin' ma food and drinkin' ma water?" he demands.

      2. Hero puts his hands in the air, as does Rebel.

        1. "I'm Heroic Scientist, and this is my daughter, Rebel Daughter."

        2. "Scientist, huh? You're that guv'ment guy."

        3. "Only a few days a week," Hero says.

      3. "Whatcha doin' in my shack?"

      4. "We got caught in an earthquake," Rebel says. "We lost our car."

        1. She's happy her dad called her his daughter, so she is now on his side.

      5. "I'm Grizzled Trapper," says the man lowering his shotgun. "You gonna Save the world?"

        1. "If I can," says Hero.

      6. "I've got a Chevy Citation behind the house." He tosses a keyring to Hero.

        1. "A Citation?" asks Hero, aghast. "We don't have much time to get to cell service!"

        2. "It's what I got," says Trapper. "If I'da know'd you'd be needin' my car this week, I'da got a Tesla."

      7. "C'mon, Dad," urges Rebel. "We gotta hurry!"

      8. Hero pauses before he leaves and looks back. Trapper waits for the inspirational and heroic words he knows are coming.

        1. "A Citation? Really?" Hero just shakes his head.

        2. As they leave, Trapper Mutters. "At least you can't get hurt driving to town. Need more speed for that."

  7. As Hero and Rebel drive toward town, they are struck by another earthquake.

    1. Hero estimates that in 2.157 hours, the world will prunify.

      1. Rebel wonders if he can be more specific, as the Pentagon will need a clearer picture of what's going to happen.

      2. Hero can only be more certain once he can figure out exactly where and when the star and comet will hit Earth.

    2. As they enter the town, power lines start to fall, and Hero has to push the Citation to its limits, slaloming back and forth on the street.

      1. As they make progress through town, a police officer stops them.

        1. "Do you know why I stopped you?" the officer asks.

          1. His shirt has a name badge that says "Moron" over the left pocket.

        2. "Driving right now because of the conditions?"

        3. "No," says Officer Moron. "You were speeding."

        4. "That's impossible," says Hero.

        5. "Why?"

        6. "Look at the car, Moron," explains Hero.

        7. "Wait a minute," exclaims Moron. "Why aren't you in a better car?"

        8. "This is all Grizzled Trapper had."

        9. Officer Moron Sighs. "Why didn't he have a better vehicle for you?" He shakes his head and waves them on.

        10. "Well, that was fortuitous," says Hero as they head toward the city's center.

      2. As soon as they continue into town, the power poles start to wave back and forth again, and Hero has to continue his slaloming back and forth with the Citation.

        1. Hero’s phone rings.

        2. He answers it, and it's General Idiot.

        3. General Idiot tells Hero that he needs a solution to the impending prunification.

        4. Hero says he doesn’t yet know what can be done, but he surely will before long. He always does

        5. Idoit pauses, and Hero can almost hear his head shaking.

        6. Hero says he needs to concentrate on the road and power lines, so he tells Idiot that he needs to get off the phone and please tell the President that he'll need to talk to him on the next phone call.

        7. Hero hangs up the phone and continues with slaloming.

      3. They arrive at Hero’s home just as a crevasse opens underneath it, and it disappears into the bowels of the Earth.

        1. Glad we got stopped by Officer Moron,” he commented to his daughter.

          1. Yeah.,” she agrees. “If we’d been here earlier, we would have gone with the house.”

        2. Hero still needs to contact the President, so he starts the car again and heads toward the town hall.

          1. They arrive at the town hall and meet up with Officer Moron again.

            1. Insists that they aren’t allowed to be out and about.

              • They must go to the high school and wait in the gymnasium like all the other sheep… Uh, people.

            2. Hero explains that he has some information to give President Man, but Officer Moron isn't listening.

            3. Hero and Rebel head over to the high school like good little sheep … uh… citizens,

          2. Hero calls his brother, Astro Scientist, who happens to be at an observatory on a mountaintop outside of town.

            1. Astro tells him that the star is the worst problem.

              • The comet is liable to be destroyed in the star's gravitational field.

              • Hero wonders how sure Astro is about that.

                • About 25% certain,” Astro replies.

              • Hero determines that the star must be moved away from Earth.

                • He figures if they could make the star collide with the moon, it might just save Earth.

            2. Just as Astro and Hero finish their conversation, another earthquake destroys the observatory.

              • Hero spends valuable time mourning for his brother.

                • Rebel reminds him that they have to talk to President Man.

          3. Hero and Rebel sneak out of the gym when no one is watching.

            1. They go to the town hall, where they can call Idiot, who connects them to the President.

            2. At the time of the call, Hero doesn't know what to say, but an idea comes to him as he's talking.

              • Tells the President that their only hope is to push the moon into the star. That will blow them both up and save the Earth.

                • President Man asks about the absence of the moon and if that will affect the Earth in any way.

                  • "That's something we can worry about for next week's disaster," Hero tells him.

                  • Fair enough,” respond’s the President.

                • "How can we move the Moon?" asks Idiot, who is also on the call.

                • We need an explosion big enough.”

                • How can we do that?” asks Man.

                • We can remotely detonate the nuclear garbage dump on the surface.”

                • Idiot thinks about this. “How do we steer it?”

                • Hero shakes his head, even though they can’t see him. “We won’t need to. It’s facing the right way.”

                • Good enough, Hero. Now get to the base to push that detonation button.”

                • It’s right beside me,” Idiot says.

                • Why can’t you push it then?” asks Hero.

                • I can’t!” General Idiot says. “It has to be you!”

                • Hero sighs. “Okay. I’m on my way.”

          4. Hero and Rebel start for the base, which is thirty-five miles away.

            1. Rebel wants to go to the hospital to help her mom, but Hero explains that he has to have her with him for the trip.

              • Why?”

              • That’s just the way it is.”

              • Sort of like you being the one to press the button?”

              • He nods. “Exactly. I’ve also got to just make it on time, too. The clock has to read 1 second before it’s too late when I push the button.”

              • She sighs. “What am I supposed to do?”

              • He glances at her. "Your job is to be on the lookout for dangerous people who just want to stop us and use the Citation for something."

              • Why would they want this car?” she asks.

              • I don’t know, but they will.”

              • She glowers out the window, looking for people who are stupid enough to want to take their car.

              • Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, nobody stops them, although a few people have set up roadblocks on the way.

                • Two roadblocks have several 4x4s that are obviously stolen from the people guarded by paramilitarily dressed people with totally over-the-top weapons.

                • Hero and Rebel come to a stop by each block, but they are always waved through when the vehicles blocking the road are moved.

                • "We need one of these cars every time a disaster happens," comments Hero.'

                  • "If we can avoid the embarrassment of owning one," Rebel says.

          5. Rebel and Hero arrive at the base and are waved through by an MP doubled over in laughter at their car.

          6. When they park, a sinkhole opens up on the car's passenger side.

            1. Hero has to use several seconds to save Rebel, and he succeeds just as the car slips into the bottomless pit below it.

              • Rebel is left hanging over the hole, holding onto his hand.

                • Somehow, Hero can pull her out of the pit.

            2. They run toward the building, dodging this way and that to avoid crevasses, sinkholes, and downed powerlines.

            3. Inside the building, they run just ahead of the ceiling as it crashes to the floor behind them, all the way to the situation room where General Idiot is standing, looking longingly at the button that he’s unable to push.

            4. Hero glances above the control panel where the button is built in, and there’s a digital clock counting down.

              • 5…4…3…2…1…

                • True to form, Hero pushes the button at 1.

  8. Outside, there’s a flash of light, even though the moon is on the other side of the planet at that moment.

    1. The sky gets brighter, and the rain stops.

      1. “I didn’t know it was raining,” Rebel says.

      2. When did it get dark?” Hero asks.

    2. Beautiful Doctor steps up and gives Hero a hug and kiss.

      1. President Man Shakes his hand.

      2. Grizzled Trapper is suddenly there and salutes Hero.

      3. Officer Moron cheers.

    3. General Idiot looks around.

      1. How’d all these people get onto the base?”



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I'll let you know...

Rose's picture

1F601.png
I'm not sure what the sequel will be.

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Rosemary

Sequel? That's easy

with the moon gone the earth's spin beings to wobble and tilt way off its axis. The weather begins going crazy, eventually there will be sub tropical temps at the north and south poles, Arctic conditions in the tropics.The polar caps will end up completely melting, coastal cities will be under hundreds of feet of water, etc. if nothing is done.

The Hero scientist must come up with a way to create an artificial moon to replace the one we had.

We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Well that sounds like fun!

Rose's picture

Hmmm... I suppose there might be some debris from the star and moon lying around. Might be able to construct a new moon.

LOL... brings a whole new meaning to "new moon".

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Rosemary

Moon over Miami ...

Rose's picture

Moon over Miami? And Venus... And Mars!

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Rosemary

Self-aware B-Movie! They accept their roles (gracefully)?

For all that General Idiot seems like the antagonist, being the one who got rid of Scientist, this is just his role.

Heroic Scientist accepts the situation of their world with grace, and does what he needs to, to save the world, accepting that General Idiot needed to fire him. It probably helps that he'll be rehired by the end of the week!

General Idiot, on the other hand, also knows the pattern, but as a side character / antagonist, his interactions with the world are less mandated by the story, and he wants to save the world too! "Looking longingly at the button!" And shortcutting arguments with "Let's skip all the interim stuff and call him now."

And he calls out the weirdness of the otherwise happy ending! Heh. “How’d all these people get onto the base?”

The real enemy isn't any person, but the universal laws that's putting the world in danger every week!

The real enemy

Rose's picture

Now that you mention it, that would be a really weird world to live in!

Of course, after my one ownership of a Chevrolet Citation which was disappointing, at best, I feel that the real enemy is whoever told Trapper to buy a Citation, not a Tesla! Or at least some type of 4x4. LOL

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Rosemary

So many easter eggs in this one story...

Beverly Colleen's picture

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Space 1999
Armageddon

need i go on?

**********
I am a leaf on the wind, but someone turned the fan off.

Most I was

Rose's picture

aware of, but not Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I do like Easter Eggs though.

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Rosemary

A group of college friends pick Creepy Mansion ...

for their weekend fun.

But, of course, Creepy Mansion (CM) is the home and Laboratory of the county's Mad Scientist (MS).

After serving the band of friends an excellent dinner, perhaps with a bit too much wine, the Mad Scientist shows them to their quite Creepy rooms.

Around midnight, MS starts collecting his ... 'subjects'. The screaming from the first victim, of course, alerts the other friends.

They realize they must find their missing friend, then get away.

Land-lines and cell phones are found to be out of service.

The over-concussed football Team Captain says "Lets all split up to look." - (Of course the MS can now easily grab them one by one...)

The Sweet Young Thing flees out the front door of CM, and promptly breaks a high heel while running from the MS. She keeps breaking her stride by looking back. A lot. The Mad Scientist gets ever closer ... And captures her.

Everyone finding any kind of weapon, hits the MS only once, hard enough to make him an even Madder Scientist - and then they >throw away< the weapon ...

Everyone in the whole now split-up party runs into the basement, or into the upstairs/attic, or into the old shed (containing a plethora of unseen weapons) where they are easily trapped and captured by the MS, then taken to, and secured, in his Laboratory.

One Friend, of course, ran into the Forbidding Forest ... in the dark - instead of towards town, instead of towards the highway, instead of towards a nearby home with lights on...

Of course MS knows the Forest. And the MS brought his flash-light.

The Soccer Captain runs out, reaching the highway where he flags down a Police Cruiser. But the Police are in cahoots with the Mad Scientist.

So the Captain of the Soccer Team gets a free ride back to Creepy Mansion. And the Police got their usual $200 'contribution' to the Police Benevolent Fund.
---
Our captured friends learn the Mad Scientist wants to experiment on them by doing Body Swaps (hey, this >is< BCTS). (How is it that Mad Scientists Never Shut Up, and must first blab out their whole Life Story and all of their Nefarious Plans?)

The sympathetic Mad Scientist's Daughter keeps trying to help them escape - all the while saying "I'm not Eyegorina - I've known since pre-school that I'm Stephen".

The Mother of All Thunderstorms is fast approaching, just in time to power Mad Scientist's Body Swap machine ...

Too late for escaping. The MS uses his Body Swap machine on three pairs, including on his own not-Daughter.

Not-daughter Stephen manages to whack her "Daddy Dearest" (not) with his celebratory Champaign bottle.

Thus the whole party plus Stephen, manage to escape, and get to their van. Six in the party, including Stephen, have fallen victim to the Mad Scientist's Body Swap machine.

As they drive away, a Zeus-Worthy thunderbolt incinerates Creepy Mansion...

When the Swapped Ones stop shaking and 'check their plumbing', all are happy with the results. Except there's always the one whiner: "I wanted to be blond with green eyes!"

So is the football captain

Rose's picture

So is the football captain Fred, and the whiner is Velma? or is it Daphne?

(Creepy Mansion kinda lends itself to every Scooby Doo cartoon out there.)

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Rosemary

LOL Funny

This took awhile to build but it works really well, just like all the B flicks. Quite fun.

>>> Kay

Thank you!

Rose's picture

I was VERY bored that day. Writing over half of this in one sitting, however, took care of the boredom.

I will say, the one I got completely blown away by, involved an absolutely beautiful, Royal Blue Ford Mustang (2020 era, I believe), being used to help create a black hole behind the moon (don't ask how they got it there... seeing two astronauts 'driving' a Mustang in space was just too silly) to keep the moon from hitting Earth.

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Rosemary

Thanks for the invitation!

This qualifies for (almost?) the most "mega" groan possible.
There is real skill in deliberately writing such rubbish.
Pity that the "daughter to work" theme was only provided as an invitation and not as a competition. I'm sure it will be a long time before another author supplies a worse (i.e. better) rival.
I loved it.
Thanks!
Dave

Thank you!

Rose's picture

I think...

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Rosemary

giggles

you need a Cute Dog. no B level disaster film is complete without a Cute Dog who is in danger, and somehow survives to go live with Heroic Scientist and his Rebel Daughter.

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You're right!

Rose's picture

and Cute Dog almost always looks like Benji!

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Rosemary