Night of Broken Glass
By Sabrina G. Langton

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Author's note: Hi, another quick story about my new favorite couples, learning to live with memories, new and old. Just slightly darker than my usual stories, just another song we all know by heart. I hope YOU like it.

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I watched the airplane fly overhead. Sometimes they drown out the music, sometimes they drown out Linda.

"Sabrina do you want one of those drinks with a straw?" I couldn't really hear her, there was an airplane overhead, I had on music, we were by the pool listening to Billy.

'Anthony works in the grocery store
Savin' his pennies for someday
Mama Leone left a note on the door
She said, "Sonny, move out to the country'

"What?"

"Nevermind." She was suddenly next to me, holding a tray. Four perfect orange/yellow drinks, ready to be enjoyed.

I took the smallest one. We had three beautiful, tall round glasses with delicate stems. Perfect for tiki drinks, cocktails, or wine. The other one I found at the Salvation Army, it was cloudy and spotty, it was a quarter the size of the others. It said 'Happy Anniversary Cosmo and Lysander' in beautiful cursive script. I closed my eyes and made believe I was at that party.

"Thank you, Cosmo."

Linda probably made a face, and then handed a drink to Griffin, the other to her husband Jim, she saved the one with the most orange/yellow liquid for herself.

"Mmm, what is this called again?" I pondered.

Griffin was holding it up to the sun, "I call it a dark yellow."

"I think it's more of a light orange," Jim added.

"Well whatever it is, it's always so tasty, so strong, and it goes so perfectly with Billy."

'It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out'

"Oh, Linda, I forgot. I'm movin' out."

I moved up, I adjusted my one-piece suit. Linda brought it back from Aruba, she bought it for herself but I co-opted it, I thought it was cute, plus she was never going to wear it. Griffin thought I looked sexy. I had to agree, but Linda said I was showing off too much leg, the cut went all the way up past my thighs to the hips. It was tight, low cut in the back and it was a wonderful grey. My new breasts look remarkably wonderful, and the color set off my new hair color. Griffin called it 'burgundy red,' but the women at the salon told me it was 'golden copper blonde.' Griffin loves sleeping with a redhead, I didn't have the heart to break it to him otherwise.

"Wow, look at this, they look so long, they are SO tan." I stretched my smooth totally hair-free legs and pointed my heels, they were grey also, and six-inch, they matched perfectly.

"Sabrina! Are you listening to me?"

"No, what, what did I miss?"

Linda moved off of the lounge chair again, she was wearing shorts. She and Jim were closer to the diving board, Griffin and I had the spot under the umbrella. We tended to get sunburned. She was now standing above me, the straw in her mouth. "What do you mean you're movin' out? This is your house."

"Oh wait, I think the spray tan will be gone in a week, so everyone look at my legs now while they are a golden tan." I lifted them, did a little move, and shook my heels. I turned and checked with the men, they looked, they admired, but Linda couldn't be bothered.

"Come on, forget about your fake tan for a moment, what do you mean you are moving out."

"Griffin wants to move further away from the city, he wants to see more trees and I will follow him anywhere." I did a little shrug, I touched his arm. I repositioned on the lounge chair, I adjusted the crotch of my suit again.

"I like trees, I like when the leaves turn amber." He smiled he sipped, he didn't use a straw.

"Oh, amber that's what this drink is, whooo I'm glad we came up with that, it would of drivin' me crazy all day."

"Don't be crazy." Jim looked up from his phone, he gave me his quirky smile. He thought I was crazy.

'He's tradin' in his Chevy for a Cadillac (ack, ack, ack, ack, ack)
You oughta know by now
And if he can't drive
With a broken back
At least he can polish the fenders'

Linda gave me that look, she grabbed my half-full little glass, she threw it into the pool. "It's an Aperol Orange Juice Cocktail! I tell the three of you every freaking time, we have it almost every weekend! We have it every weekend right here next to this freaking POOL!"

She stomped away. Linda was angry, maybe she didn't like this song, maybe she didn't like that I was wearing her bathing suit from Aruba. Hmmm... Years ago when I was married to her and not Griffin...

"Oh, Griffin can you get my glass, please?"

"Sure, baby."

"Use the swim goggles." I smiled, he was wonderful. He knew I didn't want to get my hair wet. He kissed me goodbye.

Linda was sulking, she was done with her amber drink. She could catch a mood quicker than a cold.

So, I was thinking, when we were first married, over seven years ago I used to do this thing, I used to borrow her clothes like I borrowed her bathing suit. But, back then it was just the ones from the hamper, it wasn't like I was stealing, or making them wrinkled. I always put them back, sometimes I even put them in the washer, then the dryer, I was good like that. It turns out she didn't like that at all, she didn't think I should be wearing her things. She would be head deep in her hamper, angry at me while we were conversing in her bathroom. She told me other husbands went kayaking, watched football, had affairs. They didn't wear their wife's work clothes. They didn't lock themselves in a bathroom. I apologized. I was a little scared.

I wanted to tell her I loved dressing like her, what she wore looked nothing like the clothes I was used to. When I was young I was stuck with my mothers housecoats, pantsuits, before I found colorful little dresses of my own. I thought Linda had the best taste, it was what drew me to her originally.

I went out and bought my own.

"Linda, I'm going to miss my closet, my mirrors, I love that the vanity you found for me at that consignment shop matches the molding." I wasn't going to miss the locked bathrooms, the post-its on the hamper.

'It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out'

I put more color on my lips, red copper, I could put it on without a mirror, I did it probably a dozen times a day. I was getting distracted, Linda was talking to me again, I could tell she was already missing the house.

"So when were you two going to tell us you were moving out?"

Griffin was wet, he was above me holding my favorite glass. I patted my chair and he sat next to me. I moved up and kissed him "Thank you." I told him and I meant it. I kissed him again, he was a perfect husband. He never got angry with me, he never seemed disappointed, he let me rummage around the hamper whenever I wanted to. He especially loved watching me put color on my lips, I did it mainly for him. He knew I was constantly being distracted, constantly remembering something from the past, constantly bringing up some reference that only I knew.

"I love this glass." I showed him.

"I know."

I started to slightly tear up, I put my forehead on his wet shoulder, he put his fingers in the hair he thought was red.

Linda and I had a get-together, years ago. We had our perfect glasses, with delicate stems. I made something fancy, something browner than the drink we had today. We were in the living room, we were with another couple from the neighborhood, they were friendly, they had been married for ten years and we were celebrating. Linda brought them through the house, showed them the art prints, her collectibles... my heels. She was surprised, she held them up, she cursed at me. She threw both six-inch platform pumps with two ankle straps each at me, she threw them right at my delicate glass. I was wet, I was bleeding, but I digress.

'You should never argue with a crazy mind (mi-, mi-, mi-, mi-, mi-)
You oughta know by now
You can pay Uncle Sam with the overtime
Is that all you get for your money'

"This one was a dollar." I held it up, it was small but I loved it. "Linda remember we tried to find a matching glass? You know to the other three goblets?" I looked at her, she had her arms folded. Her glass was still empty it was two feet away from her fingers. The fingers she used to throw the glass at me. When I think about it, it made me sad. "We looked for months." I shrugged, Griffin bent and kissed my bare shoulder, he drew me closer on this tight lounge chair.

"I love this house, I love this yard, I love this freaking POOL!"

Linda was angrier then, than she is now, when I brought home the little glass with the cursive writing, with the two Greek names on them, but it made me happy. It made me feel like I knew them. Like we went to a party, we would of went as two women, I used to fantasize about it. I thought about it before we went to bed at night. She told me she didn't want crap in the house, she didn't want a used glass.

I held it up and viewed another airplane through it, overhead. "Why would someone not want this, it had their friend's names on it, what could have happened at that party that they needed to get rid of it so quickly." It had a date, four months before we found it. What could have happened at that party or afterward, I thought about it every time I read the two names and the date on the glass.

Jim walked over he refilled both our glasses from the pitcher. "You can read the names better with the amber inside of it."

Linda was still sulking, she didn't even look toward the pool.

I remember, a while ago. I was going away for the weekend, something I planned. I had all my femme clothes in a backpack, I had all my makeup and shoes in a shopping bag. Linda wanted to talk, we were on the porch in the back of the house, she didn't understand why I needed to do this, why I had to leave. I had this huge pain in my chest and I told her. I sat, I looked out the back window at the yard, at the pool. I told her it was something I had to do, I didn't know how to explain it. She lectured me for over an hour. Whenever I sat on the porch with a book, a drink, or looking at my phone I could still hear her voice, she was so disapproving, so disappointed. Years later she understood, but the voices in the rooms, the sound of breaking glass, was embedded in the walls.

"Linda, we are ready to move on. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Part of me never wanted to say anything. If we could, we would have disappeared."

"What, you were never going to tell me?" She walked over, she passed Jim, she passed the pitcher with only a finger of amber drink. She sat on the lounge with me and Griffin. She put her hand on my tan leg, squeezing, she was leaving a mark. "You were gonna sneak out? What the hell? How could you not love this house, it has so many good memories."

Griffin was trying to appease her, "This house is great, we have had the best six months living here. We would never sneak out." He gave her a reassuring look. When he looked at me like that it made me melt, it made me feel so confident and relaxed. I feel it did the opposite to Linda.

"Ahh... Come on, all the parties, all the holidays, how could you be so flippant and just move out?"

I made my red lips tight. It had great memories for her, but for me, I don't know, I just didn't want to discuss it. Life didn't start getting wonderful until recently, until she let me dress in my own room, with my own clothes, with views in my own four huge mirrors.

I smiled at Griffin instead, I would do anything for him. He never got mad at my choice of heels, he never questions when I say I need to get away for a while. He never threw a glass at me or in the pool. We have even made love in every room of the house.

"Ahh, I'm making coffee, I'm done drinking with the three of you!" Linda got up, she didn't understand, she went back into the house. Back into the kitchen where she loved to cook, back into the living room with all the art prints she picked out, back onto the porch where she used to lecture me, asking why I needed to be a 'woman,' why I needed to be different than her friends, why I had to shave my legs and wear a one-piece bathing suit. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't. I didn't come to terms with who or who I was becoming until it was too late. Until it was almost all over.

The airplanes roared overhead, I would miss them. I would miss living under a flight pattern. I used to imagine I was looking down at this pool, going far away, going on a life-changing trip. I wanted to go to Paris in a new designer outfit, brushing my hair in the tiny bathroom of a 727. Sharing a small bottle of gin with a man who couldn't take his hands off of my thighs, getting dangerously close to my silk panties.

I wouldn't miss cleaning and maintaining a pool.

Linda walked back out, holding another full tray. "Who wants coffee?"

The two men said 'Me.' She gave each of them a thick blue and gray ceramic mug. They were perfect, they kept anything hot longer than any other mug. We found them on our honeymoon, it was the only mugs I ever gave guests, anyone who visited. Linda took the third mug for herself and gave me a white one. It had dark blue writing on it, it said 'Welcome to Christina's Christening.' It had a date, it had the godparent's names in black. I found this at a charity shop, I imagined I went to the party. I imagined I wore a long dark blue dress matching the font on the mug. I wore matching heels, tan stockings. I would have presented baby Christina with a bond, I would have found her a cute onesie and a gift card to my favorite baby store. I imagined I had a favorite baby store. I imagined Christina's mom let me hold her, let me show her off to the relatives, to the band, to my husband. He would kiss the child's head, he would walk me around the party hall. We would feel like Christina was ours, we would be having fun making believe we were parents for a night.

I watched Griffin sip his mug. I felt myself start to cry again. I once spent a weekend with him in every Home Improvement store in the immediate area. He was trying to find a piece for the kitchen sink, something to make it stop dripping, some part that he made up in his head. I didn't care, I went wherever he took me. I held his hand, I supported his trek through the busy stores. He was so good to me I would do anything he asked, I would follow him anywhere. It made me cry sometimes because I loved him so much.

He noticed I was sad, he moved up, he made me lay on him between his legs, my head on his chest. Once again he ran his fingers through my almost red hair. He whispered, "When we're at our new house let's only drink out of mugs and glasses from parties that have passed. From weddings, birthdays and anniversaries and surprises, you know any celebration. What do you think baby?"

I smiled at him, I had to move up to kiss his lips. "That is such a good idea." I would let him move me anywhere, I was ready, I could be ready in ten. I would throw on a skirt and change my plastic heels for leather.

Linda was talking, she didn't sound as angry as she did before, she didn't sound like someone angry we were moving.

"Sabrina, are you listening to me?"

"I am now."

She took a deep breath, "I can remember throwing the other blue mug at your mirror on your vanity. God, it was so loud, the whole frame and glass were completely destroyed, I still feel bad to this day about that." She put her hand to her eyes. "I still feel so bad. I knew how much you loved it. I'm sorry." And she cried, her voice was so high.

Griffin released me, I jogged passed Jim, over to Linda. I sat on her lounger, I hugged her. "That's okay." I rubbed her back, I pulled her into me. "Remember we found another one, a used one. I love it even more because you helped me pick it out. It has someone's initials carved under it, someone who loved it before me."

When I think of that night, I tend to shake. It makes me so uncomfortable. I was in my room, the door closed, I was using new makeup, a new palette and brushes. Linda said she would leave me alone for a while, she would let me do whatever it was I did. I heard her yell, I froze, I panicked. She told me later she found red lipstick on one of the blue and grey mugs. She knew I wasn't kayaking, watching football, and definitely not having an affair, she knew my favorite color was red. She broke the sink.

I heard her yell through the door, "I told you I didn't want to be reminded of your fucking makeup." She rapped hard on the bedroom door. "I told you to hide your fucking hobby, now I find this..." She opened the door, I turned, I watched her arm. My vanity mirror shattered, there was broken glass and ceramic on me and my new maroon rug. I never finished my makeup.

I ran to the car and stayed in the parking lot of the mall until she apologized.

I slept in the lot.

Linda sniffed as she hugged me, "And now you are leaving your beautiful room, that perfect porch where we used to drink coffee and have breakfast, this fantastic pool."

She stood up, she grabbed my hand and we walked into the house. The house we bought two months before we were married. The house that she loved, in the neighborhood she grew up in.

"Linda, why don't you and Jim move in?"

"No, Jim would never live here, he loves the new place, he loves the new neighbors."

I smiled as she touched the art prints in the living room, the fixed sink in the kitchen, and all of Griffin's t-shirts in the closet of her old bedroom, the one I now shared with my new husband.

"He has an awful lot of shirts doesn't he?"

"He does, I get them at the consignment stores. Sometimes we go to church bazaars or after-school sales." I pulled one out, it had something on the back for a local firefighter, another one was for a reunion party, another a pride parade, my favorite had the faces of a young couple sharing a birthday. He loved everything I found for him, he never made fun of me or my choices.

I always made sure he loved my lips and hair color, that was for him, everything else was for me. I had long t-shirts I wore to bed with other people's names and events on them, we always made love with a crowd.

"Aren't you going to miss this bedroom? I knew you couldn't wait to take it over."

"I guess."

Griffin and I made love in Linda's old bedroom, with her voice seeping through the wallpaper, drifting up from the carpet. I wanted to make love surrounded by new voices, new moans, new declarations of love.

"I would have waited to tell you, I didn't realize Billy was going to spur us on."

'If that's what you have in mind
If that's what you're all about
Good luck movin' up
'Cause I'm moving out'

Linda took my hand again, we moved to the back porch, watched the men finishing up their warm coffee. "So what's the real reason you want to leave? It's me right, I feel you never forgave me for breaking your things. It must be all those memories of ME."

I smiled, I put my hands on the glass window, the men were talking, I bet they were talking about us, saying how perfect we were. They were so good to us, we tried to be even better to them. I tapped on the window, I waved.

We all looked up, hearing the sound of another flight, another vacation, another adventure. Another quick brush in the 727, another shot of gin.

I made a silly face and she smiled.

"Really? The flight pattern?"

I shrugged as she giggled.

'Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out'

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The End

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