If the bell hadn’t rung, I likely could have stared at the textbook for hours, and would still be none the wiser.
“Is it me? Did I miss something when this was being explained?” I asked, to myself more than to anyone else.

“Well, if it’s you, it’s me too!” answered my classmate John, as he put his books away in his bag. “I think I made a big mistake choosing Maths; I stopped understanding what we’re doing weeks ago.”

“Yeah, me too,” I agreed. Although, I didn’t really feel that way. It usually came quite easily. Maths is by far my strongest subject, and definitely my first choice when I was choosing A-levels. Perhaps I’m just a bit distracted today.

John finished packing up, “At least that’s it for the day, my brain is totally fried after that. Glad it’s cricket nets tonight. Sure we can’t persuade you to change your mind?”

This again? “No, I don’t think so. I just don’t really enjoy it - not that sure I ever did,” I responded - hoping it would be the last time someone asks me why I wasn’t playing cricket for the school this season. My reasons, genuine as they were, didn’t seem good enough for quite a few folks.

Unfortunately, like most of my old team mates, he wasn’t giving up, “You know, you’d definitely get into the 1st XI. Maybe not for your batting, but we really need a wicket-keeper. Smith is filling in, but he’s just too tall for a wicket keeper – he looks ridiculous behind the stumps. It’s embarrassing!”

I smiled weakly. Once they start winning a few games they’ll realise they don’t need me, and stop asking, I think.

“I heard you’re in the school play, instead” He went on. “Also heard they’ve found a role that suits your height?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s it. Wicket keeper in cricket, scrum half at rugby, and playing a girl in the school play. Carving out a niche as the short guy, eh?” I responded, sarcastically.

“Nah, sorry mate. I didn’t mean to wind you up”, said John, realising that was exactly what he had done. “I mean, I guess someone has to do it. One of the problems of being at an all boys school, I suppose. As long as you’re not mincing around in dresses come the start of the rugby season!” he joked as he walked away.

I continued my weak smile, as I slowly put my books and pens in my school bag. I had half an hour to kill until the drama club were meeting in the assembly hall, so wasn’t in the normal rush to get out of class at the end of the day.
It was a big night tonight. First full dress rehearsal. When you’re a seventeen year old at an all boys school, better known for being one of their leading sportsmen, wearing a dress in front of some of your school mates is quite a big deal. Well, it felt that way for me.

“Sam! Sam! Where are you going?” Someone was shouting me, from the end of the long corridor, soon after I exited the classroom.

“Oh, hi Ms Greenwood”. It was my French teacher, and leader of the drama club, who had now walked towards me. “I was just going to the common room”, answering in a way that made me sound as if I had just been caught doing something wrong. “Just killing some time before we meet at 4pm.”

“Oh no, no, no,” she answered. Shaking her head and frowning, as if I had said something that really disappointed her. “I take it you didn’t get my message? You and Adam will take longer than the others to get ready, so you should head straight to the changing rooms.”

Adam was the other member of the drama club unluckily enough to have been cast in a female role. In fact, he’s playing my mother in the play. “Does this make it better or worse?” I thought to myself. “Will it make it less embarrassing that we’re both in the same situation? The first person at school to see me dressed as a girl, will also be in a dress.” The thought only lingered in my head for a moment.

“Come on then, hurry up,” Ms Greenwood encouraged, as she walked off in the direction I was previously heading. “I’ll be down in about fifteen minutes”.

When I got to the gymnasium changing rooms on the other side of the school, Adam was already there. He had clearly received the message.

“Well good evening, daughter dearest. Mummy is so happy to see you.” he joked. In fact, this had been the only joke he had been doing since we were first cast in our respective roles.

“Hi Mum”, I joked back. “You feeling as nervous about this as I am?”

“The dress rehearsal? Not really, no. I had to play a girl in the Year 9 play, and I’d expect a bit more maturity from our cast of mostly eighteen year olds, than the hell that those fourteen year olds put us through back then. They all know we didn’t ask for these roles.”

“Oh? Was it that bad?” I asked, not feeling any less anxious.

“It was just teasing. Actually, probably wasn’t that bad. Can’t really remember it, to be honest. You’ll be fine. You’ve been fine through the rehearsals, and this is just doing it in costumes. If you can stage-kiss Parker, you have nothing to worry about,” He answered.

Content that he’d done what he could to put my mind at ease, he started unpacking his bags. I put down the bags containing my costume on the bench opposite from Adam, and started getting ready. I had three costumes to unpack, a wig and some makeup. My Mum, my real Mum, got the wig off the internet, but it is long and blond, just like the brief received from Ms Greenwoood. The clothes and shoes are all borrowed from my 20 year old sister, as was the makeup.

“Holy shit!” cried Adam, breaking about 20 minutes of silence.

“What? You nearly gave me a heart attack! What’s the matter?” I asked with urgency

“You. You, erm… I mean, you look incredible. How do you…” He eventually responded.

“What’s going on in here? What was all the…” Ms Greenwood trailed off, after bursting into the changing room. “Oh my, you look amazing. Beautiful, really very beautiful, how…”

“That’s what I just said,” added Adam, “well, not ‘beautiful’, but you know, he…”

There felt like there were lots of things not being fully said. That, and how both my friend and teacher were both staring at me, made me feel very uncomfortable. I felt like I was shaking, and Ms Greenwood must have spotted this.
“Oh, don’t look like that Sam, you look like you’re about to cry! It’s all great. You look really good. I mean, much better than I could have imagined you would.” She comforted. “You too, Adam, you’ve also done a really good job – and both of you so quickly.”

Adam looked a bit confused, “Miss, all I’ve done is put on this dress and wig you got me from the costume storeroom, but thanks. I’ve been playing on my phone for the last ten minutes, and have no idea how Sam has turned into that!”

“That? Oh, cheers mate. Not feeling at all like a complete freak right now.” I nervously joked

“Oh god, that just sounds weird. If you’re going to look like that, you need to use your stage voice”, Adam suggested. “You can’t look like that and sound like a rugby player.”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough of that,” Ms Greenwood interjected. “We’ll leave the stage voices for the stage, shall we?”
Adam and I both nodded our agreement.