Despite growing up knowing about the Paranormal and seeing a world that normal people would never see, Seth was as close to a normal human as you could get. Everything would change on the day his father died and his life would never be the same again.
Author's Note: Here's chapter 12 of A Cold Fey In Hell. Thanks to Big Closet and to all my readers for your support. I hope you all enjoy. ~Amethyst.
Chapter 12: Fevered
Familiar voices teased the edges of my awareness but I was so tired that I couldn’t seem to fight my way to complete consciousness. “Crystal! C’mon, wake up, Sis,” Jessica’s voice pleaded frantically. “What’s wrong with her?! She’s burning up! Mel, try to get the tooth out of the wound!”
“I’ve been trying!” Melody snapped. “I can’t find it, it’s like it dissolved!”
“They’ll be fine. Given the nature of the creatures that they’re merging with, a bit of a fever is to be expected while their bodies adapt,” Grundle tried to reassure them, but he didn’t sound very certain.
“Carmen and Sorcha are running a fever too,” Rhissa’s voice grimly contributed before adding in a panic, “What the hell?! Brock! Call the others and tell Dr. Diaz and Aislinn that we need them down here, fast! I think the stress is causing Sorcha to Manifest but that is not a normal color for a Selkie in their seal form!”
Time passed with only the panicked movements and frantic breathing of the others in the kitchen. It could have been a few minutes or even a decade later that Carmilla’s voice rang out. “Rhissa, take the little one. Melody, take Crystal. I’ll get Carmen, we’re taking them up to Carmen’s room, it’s the closest to the clinic and they can all lay comfortably in her bed while Isabella examines them. It’ll be easier for her to monitor them if they’re all in the same place.”
“What can I do to help?” Grundle asked as I vaguely felt myself being swept up in Melody’s arms.
“You’ve helped enough, little man!” Carmilla snapped. “What in the name of the Night Queen were you thinking, Grundle?! Telling them to let some symbiotic creatures from the Fire Plane, that we know little or nothing about, bite them! They’re all kids for fuck sake, and Crystal is a Snow Nymph! Fire and Ice are opposites; a Fire elemental could have killed her! Did you even stop to think about how this would affect them?!”
“Ashe adores those children, she would never…”
“You can’t know that,” Carmilla’s voice all but growled. “She’s not from our plane, we know nothing about her kind and how they think, much less what’s happening to these children right now. If any of them die or are harmed by this, then you had best find a good place to hide on a plane far from here because there is nowhere on the Material Plane where you will be safe from my wrath!”
There was a long silence then and I was distantly aware of the occasional jostling. Had I been properly conscious I probably would have kept my mouth shut too. The Vampire had been kind to me in our few interactions so far and I got the feeling that she saw Sorcha and all of the kids who lived above the club as the children she could never have herself, and that included us new arrivals as well. She was often brooding and distant, but when speaking with or about one of us ‘kids’ she was almost maternal, fiercely protective, and the very last person on this plane of existence who I would have wanted pissed off at me.
I was scared. Not of Carmilla, but of what was happening as everything seemed to become more distant and hazy. All I could focus on was the fear and uncertainty, both my own and something that seemed to tease the back of my mind. Was the fever making me delirious? What would happen if I let myself fall completely into the embrace of slumber that tugged insistently at my mind? I would soon find out, as I could fight it no longer.
I sat in a forest of ice and snow, with a bright full moon, a myriad of stars, and an aurora borealis lighting the sky above as I held a white-hot flame in my cupped hands and fire surged through my veins. To my surprise, neither seemed to hurt me nor even melt the ice and snow around me. Though I did find myself wondering, “Am I dead?”
“No, child, you still live,” a soothing and feminine voice gently told me. “You are merely resting as your body adjusts to the Fire than now slumbers within you and the joining completes.”
While it did come as a relief that I wasn’t dead, I did have to wonder, “Where am I?”
“You are inside your mind, young Nymph. Your sense of self is strong, not even the fire which now grows within you can damage the cool serenity of your inner mind. I find it a bit cold for my liking though. Follow the sound of my voice, the others await,” the voice gently urged.
I followed and soon found myself in a place where the very sky burned, walking along a surface of smooth black stone until I stood before a lake of boiling lava. Despite the heat and the acrid air, I didn’t find myself uncomfortable as the voice said, “You are a most interesting creature, as close to the Divine as you are to Ice. It is the Divine that protects you from being consumed by the Fire and allows you to accept the joining, for Fire is as much a part of the Divine as Ice. That Divinity, that shining Light within you, is what drew me to each of you. It is why I chose you. Welcome to my mind, children of the Light.”
I turned my head to see Carmen and Sorcha standing to either side of me and it was Carmen who asked, “Who are you? What do you mean? I’m a Healer so yeah, I’m aligned to the Divine, but Crystal is a Snow Nymph and Sorcha is a Selkie who hasn’t even Manifested yet.”
“I am the one that you call Ashe,” the voice admitted. “Appearances can be deceiving, Carmen. Crystal is more than a mere Nymph and aligned to both Ice and the Divine. As for the little one, do not be so certain. Like Crystal, young Sorcha is more than she seems. She is aligned to Water and the Divine and her power awakens even now, drawn forth by the joining. The White Selkie can cleanse water even as you do with living things.”
“I gots power?” Sorcha asked in wonder.
“Yes, young one, you have a great power,” Ashe’s voice told the four-year-old tenderly. “You must learn from your mother and Carmen and work hard to control it, but tell no one outside your family what you can do. Also, tell no one outside your family that you are bonded to one of my kind. I chose to bond my children to the three of you, not only because the Divine would protect you during the joining, but also because my children can protect you when they are grown. You each have gifts that others would abuse if they knew of your natures.”
“How are you even talking to us?” I wondered, even as I realized that Grundle was wrong about there being no sentient creatures on the Fire Plane. Either he was overlooking the obvious, or he had suspected more than he admitted. I was pretty sure that it was the latter.
“It is one of the gifts of the joining,” the Salamander explained. “You can now speak with one another, or others of my kind when within the range of our minds. You are also protected from fire and heat, can travel to and from the Fire Plane just as I can, will benefit from improved health, and will be able to call upon your bonded’s physical form when you have need. They will not be able to manifest those forms for long until they are fully mature though. That will take six months as you measure time, and it will be a month before they can stoke a proper flame.”
“Okay, so that’s what we get out of this joining. What does your kind get? Symbiosis is usually mutually beneficial,” Carmen pointed out.
“Our kind requires hosts if we are to live until maturity,” Ashe confirmed. “The energy of my children will slumber within your bodies as they grow, and continue to do so as long as you live, except when in their corporeal forms. They will learn from you, share your experiences, and gain energy and strength from the food you eat. You will have an increased appetite since you are eating for two and when in their physical forms for extended periods, your bonded will need to eat meat once a day, just as I do.”
“Carmen told me that you were injured when Grundle found you on the Fire Plane, what happened to your… umm… host?” I asked uncertainly.
A sense of sadness and longing pervaded the Salamander’s mindscape as she responded. “My host was a noble and clever creature but rather low on the food chain, I’m afraid. I kept her safe for far longer than others of her kind usually live but eventually, nature ran its course and we were caught by a creature that was larger, faster, and hungrier. I attempted to protect her in my physical form and killed the creature, but I was injured in the process and my host succumbed to her wounds. My kind can only bond with one host, once it dies we are on our own.”
“You’re obviously sentient creatures, so why haven’t you tried taking sentient hosts before?” I wondered aloud.
“We have, child,” the Salamander admitted. “My kind often visits the Material Plane and the people who live here are extremely interesting to us. Some have tried to bond their children with human hosts but neither the children nor what was left of their intended hosts survived the joining process. Humans are only rarely aligned to one of the ten elements and our kind bond best to creatures aligned to the Fire element, like those found on our plane. During my mating cycle, I discovered that one of my kind had managed to successfully bond one of her children with a unicorn, with no ill effects after the initial joining. So it seems that those aligned to the Divine, and possibly Death, make suitable hosts as well.”
“Well, I guess that explains spontaneous human combustion,” I muttered, feeling both queasy at the thought and extremely grateful that I was merely fevered. “You were taking a pretty big chance on word of mouth alone.”
“I took no chances,” Ashe said sternly. “Had I been uncertain about you I would have offered your egg to the half-Demon, she is aligned to Fire and Death both and would have been a fine candidate. The first time that I allowed each of the three of you to touch me, I was testing you. Even in our physical forms when not generating a flame, our bodies would burn most people. It would not be enough to cause any lasting harm but your connections to the Divine are strong and the power within you reacted to keep you safe. When you were able to safely touch me I knew that your power would allow you to survive the joining.”
“Mom did have to treat Grundle for burns when he first brought Ashe to us. We all thought that he had spooked her or something while bringing her here,” Carmen admitted thoughtfully.
“I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I do appreciate you offering us your children,” I offered contritely, “this has just been a lot to take in. I only Manifested less than a week ago and since then everything has been crazy. What would you have done if Melody, Jess, and I hadn’t shown up before the eggs started to hatch? I mean, you only met us this morning and the eggs were practically ready to pop.”
“I would have left my enclosure and gone to test the other Muse. I assume she’s your mother, Crystal? Had she not worked out I would have tested Carmen’s mother and the Vampire. Had none of them been suitable candidates, I would have merely found a creature on the Fire Plane to bond her with when she hatched,” the Salamander’s voice assured me. “I will have to test the three of them and the half-Demon before my next mating cycle. Do you have any other questions about your bonded, or the process, children?”
“What’s its name?!” Sorcha asked eagerly as Carmen stared at me in wonder after Ashe’s casual revelation about me and my mother.
Sorcha’s inquiry seemed to change the mood of the mindscape once again as Ashe’s laughter reverberated around us. “Your human tongues could not pronounce the names that we give our kind. You may continue to call me Ashe and name your bonded whatever you wish. They are joined with you and it is you who shall have to interact with them the most.”
“We should… umm… keep their names short and easy to remember,” Carmen advised the little Selkie once she had managed to stop staring at me. “I’m thinking of naming mine Blaze.”
“I gots da bestest name ever,” Sorcha proclaimed proudly, “Mister Squiggles.”
“Ummm… Sorcha… Sweetie, maybe you should just go with Squiggles. Yours is a girl Salamander after all, and when she grows up the Mister might confuse her,” I suggested gently. I could totally get gender confusion after the week I’d had.
The little Selkie thought about it a moment and then nodded. “Okay, Crystal. I name her Squiggles. Whatchoo gonna name yours?”
I sighed as I considered it. I had never thought that I would have to come up with a name for a Fire elemental who would be sharing my body for the rest of my very long life, after all. I’d never even had a dog or a goldfish, the closest thing I had was a rabbit, and she was my sister. So, what does one name a sentient fire-lizard? “Well, I don’t know if I can top Squiggles,” I said thoughtfully, causing Sorcha to beam happily. “She’s a girl so I should make it feminine sounding, I guess. Maybe Cinder?”
Sorcha’s eyes went wide and she nodded her head eagerly. “I like dat. It’s pretty, an’ Cinderelly is one of my favoritest Disney princesses.”
Since it had already gotten the four-year-old seal of approval, I was pretty happy when Carmen voiced her agreement. “That’s a good one, Crystal. So… uhh… what do we do now?”
Both Carmen and Sorcha looked at me, probably because I was the oldest of us, but I really had no more idea than they did. “I guess we’re all sleeping off this joining thing right now? What should we do, Ashe?”
“You must let your minds rest as your bodies do the same, children,” Ashe suggested in a maternal tone. “I called your minds to me because you were uncertain and afraid and I wished to ease your hearts and minds. Be not afraid, rejoice in the joining, it is a great gift for you and the children that you carry. Embrace the Fire within you, nurture it, and you will feel refreshed when you awaken. Sleep, children.” Her voice was soothing and caring and it carried me into a deeper slumber.
In my slumber, I sensed a warmth in my mind. It was tiny and delicate, and for some reason, the warm presence both comforted and scared me. Within that warmth, there was a small spark of awareness, a bundle of emotions dominated by need, love, and just a little fear. Did it fear me? Or did it feel my rejection? I felt those same emotions rush through me and, tentatively, I reached out and pulled the warmth into my mental embrace, cooing my love and acceptance as I held it close and assured it that I was there and that we would be together, always.
Love, peace, affection, and a torrent of other emotions danced through the awareness that I held close. As I held her, she too held me. I knew then that we belonged together, our embrace could last a lifetime or longer and we would both still take comfort in it, still bask in that sense of completeness. We were two but we were also one, together through whatever would come our way. She needed me as much as I needed her and we vowed to fill whatever role the other needed when it was needed, whether that be mother, protector, friend, partner, or anything else.
“Her heartbeat just sped up, Cindy, I think she’s coming around,” a familiar voice said as I laid back with my eyes closed, trying to figure out where I was. “It’s about time, the others woke an hour and a half ago. I was starting to worry.”
A second musical voice, like a soprano accompanied by the languid strains of a violin, agreed. ~Yes, I can feel her mind beginning to stir. Please, Milly, you haven’t stopped worrying since they all passed out in the first place. I thought that you were going to tear Grundle’s arms off and feed them to him. You heard Isabella as well as the rest of us did, Crystal’s fever was worse than the others and her body was having a harder time acclimating due to the conflicting elements. Crystal, how are you feeling, Honey?~
Everything seemed to come together in my mind as I remembered where I was, those familiar voices, and what had happened to cause me to pass out in the first place. That brought back memories of the talk with Ashe, my fevered dreams, and the sense of the new warm presence in the back of my mind. I could feel our bond just as I could feel that tiny spark of awareness beginning to stir as well. ~Good morning, Cinder,~ I thought to the infant Salamander as I tried to mentally embrace her presence with feelings of warmth, comfort, love, and affection.
I was well aware that I was mothering her, but she was an infant and that was what she needed right now. As strange as that role might be to me I needed to do it for her sake and my own. If we were to be joined and sharing my body and mind, then I wanted to make that experience a positive one. I wanted, and needed, for us to become as close as possible if I was going to stay sane. It was the healthiest and most logical course for both of us. And I guess that, if I was being honest about it, I did actually care about her and feel sort of motherly toward her at the moment.
Cinder instinctively returned that embrace and I felt similar feelings flooding my mind and, for a moment, we just lingered in that mental embrace. It was almost enough to overwhelm the smoldering desire that had become my constant companion since Manifesting and the gnawing hunger that caused my stomach to growl. I could feel my cheeks flush as I opened my eyes to see Carmilla and Cindy hovering over me in an unfamiliar room. “I guess I’m hungry,” I admitted self-consciously.
~Well, I guess that’s my cue to go start helping Brock to get breakfast ready,~ the Mermaid said, smiling down at me. ~Sorcha and Carmen were both hungry too when they woke up. We let them have something from the fridge to tide them over until breakfast. They’re both getting cleaned up now.~
“When you all passed out we brought you all here to Carmen’s room so it would be easier to keep an eye on all of you at once. You had quite the fever there, the others were out just over eight hours but you held out for nearly ten,” the Vampire explained. “Everyone was worried about the three of you, especially your mothers, Jessica, and Melody. Since there wasn’t much that anyone could do but wait for your fevers to break and for you to wake up we sent everyone to go get some sleep around midnight while Cindy and I took turns watching over the three of you. Our kinds don’t need as much sleep as the rest of you and everyone else was worrying themselves sick.”
~Don’t let the old bloodsucker fool you, she’s a softie,~ Cindy teased as she headed toward the door. ~She was just as worried as the rest of us. I got my rest but she spent the whole night here with the three of you, claiming that she could get what little rest that she needs during daylight hours.~
“Hmmph. It made sense since you have to work the kitchens today and I usually sleep during the day anyway,” Carmilla countered as she scowled at the fleeing Mermaid. Once Cindy was out the door she turned back to me. “It’s almost six-thirty, so breakfast should be ready in a little over an hour. Do you need something to tide you over until then? Do you feel strong enough to get up? I can bring you something if you’re not sure.”
“Umm… except for the usual rampant horniness, getting used to having an infant Salamander sharing my body and mind, and feeling like I could eat an entire herd of cows, I feel really good actually,” I replied. This was partly because it was true and partly because I was afraid that she was going to carry me or feed me herself if I couldn’t convincingly assure her that I was fine. A maternal Vampire is almost as scary as the rabid bloodthirsty savage that I had envisioned before meeting Carmilla for the first time. If I were Grundle, I’d stay a safe distance away from her for a while, a mama bear has nothing on her.
The Vampire nodded but watched me as I got myself out of the bed, probably looking for any signs of possible weakness. She seemed satisfied though when I managed to stand on my own, nodding as she offered, “Let’s go see what we can find for you in the fridge.”
What we found to tide me over was a half quart of mint chocolate chunk ice cream. I think I found my new favorite food. It was so cold, sweet, delicious, and wonderfully frozen. It was almost as good as playing in the snow and it not only put a small dent in my appetite but satisfied my desire to be around my primary element too. I wondered briefly if having it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and late-night snack every day would be going too far. Maybe if I mixed it up with different flavors…
After my swift and inevitable victory over the half-carton of ice cream, I managed to convince Carmilla that I was fine and excused myself to take a quick shower before breakfast. Thanks to my collapse and the fever that had followed I had been sleeping, and sweating, in my clothes all night and I felt both uncomfortable and gross as a result. Checking on Melody and Jessica by opening their doors a crack showed that neither were in their beds and, since I could hear their showers running, it didn’t take a genius to figure out where they were.
I was mildly disappointed as I made my way into my room to take a shower of my own that I hadn’t been able to give Melody a very memorable wake-up call. I had been tempted to go take my shower with her but I really did feel gross and, if I did that, there probably wouldn’t have been much cleaning going on. Besides, I was hungry enough already, despite the best pre-breakfast ever, and I didn’t have much time before I would be able to sate that appetite completely. As horny as I was, food was more important to my survival, and Cinder’s, than sex.
It was as I undressed for my shower that I discovered that I not only had a Salamander sharing my body but I had a matching tattoo as well. At least, it looked like a tattoo. It was a black and red image of a Salamander, though with the wings most people might mistake it for a dragon, and it covered most of my outer upper right arm with the wings wrapped around the circumference and the tips of them nearly touching one another. That must be the mark that Grundle had mentioned.
I tried to make my shower quick, using the new shampoo, conditioner, and body wash that we had bought the day before. It wasn’t as quick as I intended though for two reasons. First, my hair was still really long and thus took time to properly care for. The second reason was an accidental discovery, namely that handheld showerheads are the very best invention created by man. Oh sure, the wheel was pretty cool for its time and enabled a lot of progress but my new perspective as a Nymph put that somewhat further down the list; somewhere behind those showerheads and, though I had yet to have any experience with them personally, probably vibrators as well.
This also heralded the discovery that one of the new abilities granted by our symbiotic Salamanders needed to come with some boundaries. At the time I was really enjoying the impromptu invigorating lesson on the joys of my new handheld friend, and the pleasure that it was building up inside me. Things were finally about to come to a head (see what I did there) when Carmen’s voice slipped into my mind, permeated with a feeling of concern but also curiosity and wonder. ~Hey, Crystal. I assume you’re up and about since you’re no longer sleeping in my…~
I could only assume that the empathic portion of the communication also went both ways because that was when Carmen’s mind became tinged with embarrassment and a mixed bag of other emotions that neither of us would likely feel comfortable discussing in depth any time soon. ~Oh my God! Were you just… I’m so sorry!~
Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? Because that’s where I was at, again. Honestly, what does it take for a Nymph to get some relief around here? Pandora’s Box is supposedly a house of pleasure! The one time that I’d managed it so far I wasn’t even conscious for the majority of it. ~Knock, Carmen! Knock on my brain before entering! I was showering, it’s just… I…~ I mentally sputtered. My face was an invigorating shade of Crystal Red TM, not from the heat of the water I assure you, and I was mentally blubbering in humiliation and frustration before I managed to gather my wits and mentally speak somewhat coherently. ~I assume that you had a reason for contacting me this way, Carmen.~
~I just wanted to… I didn’t mean to interrupt while you were...~
~I. Was. Showering,~ I insisted, though my current emotional state probably didn’t sell that that was all that I had been doing. ~Even if I were doing anything else, I’m certainly not doing it now. Now, all that I’m doing is rinsing off so I can dry off, get dressed, and grab some damn breakfast.~
~So… showerhead, huh?~ Carmen asked in awkward embarrassment. ~It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, I’m sure that we all do it, the pulse setting feels really good.~
~I wouldn’t know,~ I replied pointedly, trying to cover my frustration at being denied yet again as I finished rinsing off and made a silent mental note to try that pulse setting at the next available opportunity. I stepped out of the shower to start drying off so I could get down to breakfast on time and asked, ~What did you want to know, Carmen? There was a reason you used this method to talk to me right? Because you want to ask me something private, right?~
I could sense her curiosity and her uncertainty about asking even as she confirmed my thoughts and suspicions. ~Is what Ashe said true? Are you and Tiffani really Muses?~
I let slip a physical sigh before replying. I was afraid that she had caught that, and that she would want to know more. ~Carmen, you can’t tell anyone about this. If people knew then me, Mom, and anyone who we’re close to could be in danger.~
There was a moment of both awe and confusion in her mind as I sort of confirmed but didn’t, but there was also determination and a sense of belonging there too. ~I know about keeping secrets for everyone’s safety, Crystal. Only the people here in the club know about me and Mom. Healers are really rare too and like Ashe said, people would want to use us if they discovered what we are. We’d be property or something valuable to them instead of people. I had to register with the PDA and St. Michelle’s as a Divine Mage, like Mom. I have no idea what I’m going to tell them at school if they try to teach me to use something other than healing or purification magic.~
She really did get it, I could feel it in her mind, and it made me feel a little less alone with the whole Muse thing. And I could tell that she felt the same way. I knew that I could trust her, and probably everyone in the club if I had to. For now, I was glad of the privacy of our minds because what I had to tell her would be too difficult to share with anyone who wasn’t already in the know. I had had a hard enough time letting Rose in on the secret and we hadn’t even let her in on the Muse portion.
I took a deep breath, mostly to prepare myself and push down my rampaging hormones yet again, and then I mentally said, ~Okay, Carmen, let me tell you a story while I get ready for breakfast. It all started just over eighteen years ago when my mother gave birth to a son named Seth. Someone, who I later found out had been my father’s best friend, discovered Mom’s secret and she had to flee their home in Toronto and send away her husband and infant son to keep them safe…~
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Comments
joined
cool stuff!
Don't you mean...
hot stuff? 'cause Cinder is a Fire elemental. I guess cool could work too though since it's Crystal.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
Bonding
The bonding with Cinder is one of the nicest scenes ever. *sniff*
Thx again for another great chapter^^
You know me
I love writing the sappy stuff. Crystal wants to try to make this a positive experience for both herself and Cinder and Sorcha is just so damn adorable. Glad you enjoyed it :)
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
i got to ask
is this story part of the D.R.U. universe? or something else
Universe
This story is part of her Paranormal Defense Agency Universe.
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
Yep
This is part of my Paranormal Defense Agency Universe. I'll be working on finishing the other two stories in this universe once I've finished some other projects. I'll hopefully be finishing my two DRU stories before that though since they were almost complete.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
i got to ask
is this story part of the D.R.U. universe? or something else
Pda
It’s her Paranormal Defense Agency universe
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
Sure pity Melody
Well ain't that a different kettle of fish, Ashe a sentient being, with telepathic abilities. And now the three have it too, along with that tattoo.
Every single time Crystal gets ready to pleas herself there's an interruption. Sure pity Melody when the two can finally get some uninterrupted time together. 'Cause Crystal is going to boink her head right off her body.
So will the girls have to keep what they now know about Ashe and her children to themselves? And what of the other things Ashe told them? The other abilities they each have?
I feel like Oliver standing before that big cauldron and asking, "Please, sir. I want some more."
Others have feelings too.
Surprise
Yup, Ashe and her kind are more than they appear to be.
Crystal is getting pretty damn frustrated with constantly being close yet oh so far to getting any sort of satisfaction. By the time she does get an orgasm it's probably going to come with a blast radius. Not sure if I'd be jealous of or pity Melody being the target of a verrrrry amorous Nymph.
It's best they all keep their secrets, at least within the family.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
I just hope
That this doesn't come back to bite her.
Mr. Squiggles...
Talia giggles....lol :p
Lol
You should, the name was your idea lol
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3