I walked into my room and tossed the car keys on the bed. With a loud sigh that half the house probably heard, I plopped down on mattress and began to go through my phone notifications. Most of it was stupid, some of it was straight from the GAT app. One of the messages pertained to Audrey apparently eating someone’s leftovers from the fridge which made me roll my eyes. Leina was right; she was imitating us but in my opinion she was taking it to an unnecessary extreme. It was time to have a conversation with her and it was going to be uncomfortable. I texted two words to her phone: ‘House, now.” It had to happen eventually I guess.

I slipped out of my blouse and grabbed a different from the closet; the old one smelled like sweaty gym sweat. After about thirty minutes I heard the front door open and as I walked out of my room I could see Audrey entering the foyer. I have to admit she was seriously cute when she was fully dressed, almost no trace of maleness about her other than the horrid attitude.

“Audrey, up here,” I beckoned. She smiled and waved in my direction, making her way up the stairs and turning at the landing.

“Hey, what’s up?” She smiled. “Is everything okay?”

This was getting weird already.

“We need to talk about your attitude,” I told her point blank. “You’ve been positively horrifying and we’re trying to work with you given your special circumstances but things are going to change around here-“

“Okay, I understand,” She nodded. I paused and stared at her. Why was she being so compliant? I thought the next part was going to be hard, but maybe not.

“Audrey, you’re a pledge and you’re walking around like you own the place. That’s going to top right now, do you understand?”

“I do,” She nodded. “And I’m really sorry for any trouble that I’ve caused. I guess I was just lashing out.”

“I-“ I stuttered and tried to pick my next words. I didn’t have a clue what was going on here.

“Okay anyway, as a pledge, you need to wear the pledge uniform, not to mention the pin-“

“Oh, can I wear the old one? It’s cuter!”

“Old…what, Audrey?” I was thoroughly confused now.

“The old pledge uniform, it’s super cute and I’ve always wanted to wear it!”

“Old…unifo….the one from the 80’s?!”

“Yeah!” She nodded happily. “It’s so cute and I really want to do better. Can I wear it?”

“I…I think we have them in the basement, I guess?”

“Thank you soooo much,” She clasped her hands together. “And I’m going to try to do better, I promise, I really do. What do you want me to do?”

“I…what…” What was she playing at? Was this a joke? I started to turn the situation over in my mind and then it clicked, it completely clicked.

“Oh my god,” I stared at her for a full minute before remembering the pill I had dropped into her water bottle. Mr. Derringer had told me it was a mood stabilizer and to be honest, I was trying to get her under control but this? This was way beyond what I was trying to do. I swallowed hard and looked at her, completely eager and willing. “Um, I…Audrey I need to think.”

“Oh I can go down stairs and sit on the couch or something,” She nodded. “You can call me up when you’re ready.”

“I….no,” I shook my head. “ Just…go find something productive to do okay? I need to think. Just…something, I don’t know.”

“Okay!” Audrey said cheerfully as she literally skipped away. I watched her round the banister and practically float happily down the stairs. I mouthed the words ‘Oh my god’ as she disappeared into the basement. I immediately called Tiffany and told her to get her butt over to the house and then brought up Mr. Derringer’s number.

“Hello? Aleah?” Mr. Derringer answered the phone.

“Uh, hey, Mr. Derringer, I need to talk to you, it’s kind of an emergency.”

“Well I’m always here for you, Aleah, what is it?”

“Okay let me lay it on you. That sample of Miratran you gave me? You said it was a mood stabilizer by itself, and that it needs to be activated with a second part. I gave it to Audrey because I thought it would calm her down.”

“How did that go?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“You’re not even angry?” I asked, a little incredulous but also apprehensively.

“Well no, I want to know what it did,” He said nonchalantly. “Did it calm her down?”

“In a manner of speaking, she’s just doing whatever I say, like she has no inhibitions.”

“Yeah, that was one of the side effects, I gave you a whole list, did you read it?”

“No I didn’t read it! I’m a sorority president, do you think I read?!”

“You’ll have to work on that Aleah. Don’t worry, the effects will wear off in a few days. In the meantime I would keep her away from any MLM peddlers and definitely keep her away from churches.

“That’s it?! That’s the advice you have for me?!”

“Hey Aleah?” Audrey interrupted my call, I looked up and nearly died. She was dressed in the old pledge uniform with the round collar and the pleated skirt that went to her knees. To make it worse, the entire thing was pepto bismol pink.

“This…is not happening,” I shook my head.

“Everything okay, Aleah?” Mr. Derringer asked. “You going to be able to make it to work today?”

“I have to call you back,” I said, hanging the phone up in a complete panic. “Audrey you can’t wear that, it’s a crime against fashion.”

“Okay, I understand,” She nodded and began to pull the top over her head.

“No, I don’t mean take it off now!” I lurched forward and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling the top back down. “Don’t strip on the balcony, just, I mean, you have to…I don’t know, there are other pledge uniform! You don’t have to dress like Alice in GAT land, that’s not what I meant! I’ll find you a different uniform, I promise.”

“Oh I hope it’s cute!” She giggled. My face flushed. I took her by the arm and literally dragged her into my room, ordering her to sit on the bed. She straightened her skirt from the back and sat down, folding her hands over her lap and smiling at me. I checked my text and messaged Tiffany again.

“Okay, Audrey, listen to me carefully. You don’t have to do EVERYTHING I say, okay? You understand that, right?”

“But I thought that was the problem,” She said, her face wrinkled in confusion. “I haven’t been doing my part and I’ve been kind of bitchy. It isn’t fair to you or the rest of the house. I really need to be a team player.”

“Yes, but you have to have your own personality,” I argued. “Look, you don’t…you don’t need to be a doormat. I know it might seem that way right now but you can be your own person!”

This wasn’t happening. This COULDN’t be happening. No way. Miratran couldn’t possibly be that effective and even if it was, Audrey was too much of a bitch to be affected like this. I absolutely refused to believe it.

“Okay, okay, I know, Audrey, I want you to make your own decisions, okay? I know it seems like you can’t but I’m telling you do, okay?”

“Okay,” She nodded.

I thought hard for a moment and then walked over to my makeup vanity, grabbed a handful of lipsticks. I tossed them on the bed beside her, then stepped back, my arms folded.

“Pick one, put it on,” Pointed.

“Which one?”

“Decide on one you like,” I instructed. “I’m not going to tell you which one to wear, just pick.”

She looked at me and then looked at the pile of lipstick. She finally picked up one of the assorted tubes, popped the cap and applied it to her lips. Okay, so she COULD Make a decision on her own, that was a good sign. Maybe this wouldn’t be so problematic after all.

“It looks good on you,” I smiled with relief.

“You too,” She smiled back.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I picked it because it’s the one you’re wearing.”

I turned around and looked in the mirror, my mouth hanging open. Magnetic Mahogany – the color shed picked. Oh my sweet fucking Jesus. Below, I heard the door open and the familiar sound of Tiffany’s platform heels pounding up the stairs.

“This better be good, bitch,” I heard Tiffany growl from the edge of the stairs as she made her way to my room. I turned and stared at Audrey who sat on the bed, smiling sweetly and literally waiting for her next set of instructions. As far as I could tell the drug had simply erased all of her inhibitions and made her completely open to suggestion. Tiffany appeared at the door and stepped beside me, stealing a glance at Audrey. “Why is she wearing that?”

“I uh, asked her to wear the pledge uniform,” I explained. “It’s standard for, you know…”

“That’s the pledge uniform from the 80’s,” She pointed out as if I didn’t already know that. “why didn’t you put her in the other one? She looks like a pink lollipop or something.”

With absolutely no warning, Audrey stood from the bed and walked over to us, embracing Tiffany and burying her head in her shoulder. Tiffany looked at me, eyes wide. I shook my head with no clue what was happening either.

“I missed you so much,” Audrey told her. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“What the hell?” I mouthed.

Tiffany placed her hand on Audrey’s shoulders and gently pushed her away, looking into her eyes.

“Audrey, are you okay?” She asked. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just really happy to see you!” She explained happily

“Aleah?” Tiffany turned to me. “Is she sick? What’s going on?”

“I…okay, so Mr. Derringer gave me a sample of Miratran, he told me that by itself the thing works as a mood stabilizer and I thought it would get Audrey to stop acting like a cunt, so I slipped some into her drink when we were doing the fundraiser. Ever since then she’s kind of been acting like this- I stopped speaking as I noticed Tiffany’s eyes going wide. Her expression changed from one of surprise, then to shock, and suddenly anger.

“You drugged my FUCKING girlfriend?!”