I let out a long, tired sigh and elegantly lower myself onto the front passenger seat of dad’s car, straightening my short grey skirt and thick black tights before fastening my seatbelt.

“Oh, cheer up,” dad urges with a teasing grin. “Could be worse, it could be Monday!”

“It IS Monday,” Bryony reminds us from her seat directly behind me.

“Oh yeah,” dad chuckles. “Well- just cheer up, then. Especially you, Ash- just a few more months then you’ll finally be free!”

“Yeah,” I say, and I allow myself a small smirk as I concede that dad’s correct- this time six months from now, I’ll be sixteen years old, I’ll have worn this uniform for the very last time and I’ll be free to spend my summer however I want, and with whoever I want. And, most importantly, AS whoever I want- once I’ve passed my sixteenth birthday, I’ll be legally entitled to take a full, adult dose of oestrogen, a definite improvement from my current zero dose.

To say I'm eager for that day to come would be an understatement. It's not like I have a butch body- I have a slender waist, long, slim legs and I am, thank god, nowhere near as tall as my 6' 2" father. Matters could be worse- but they could also be much better. My chest is flat, I still have to occasionally shave off facial hair, and the less said about what's between my legs, the better. It's frustrating that I'm stuck like this for the time being, especially when I think about my transgendered close friend. Laura may be slightly taller than me, but she has a tiny waist, longer, skinnier legs and very noticeable breasts.

I should see Laura as something to aspire to, a look I'll be able to emulate in just a few months’ time, but if anything, thinking about her only increases my tension levels, especially when I’m thinking about the coming summer. As I said before, during the summer I’ll be free to spend my time with whoever I want. The problem is, I don’t know who that is- not yet, anyway…

“Have fun at school, girls!” dad says as he drops Cassie and Dorothy off at their primary school, both girls immediately running off to play with their respective best friends. Meanwhile, Bryony and I both get our phones out of our bags, instantly frustrating our father.

“…Well, at least you’re not passing on that bad habit to your sisters,” dad grumbles as we drive away. “Not yet, anyway…”

“You know we’re not allowed to check them at school,” Bryony retorts. “And we can’t leave them at home in case of an emergency.”

“Sometimes I think you’re TOO clever,” dad says with a sigh as my sister smirks. “And why would you need them at school, anyway? All you do on your phones is talk to your friends, who are all at school, where you can talk to them face-to-face.”

“Not ALL my friends,” I whisper to myself with a sigh as I put my phone away, none of my friends- from either group- showing as online right now.

We arrive at school a short while later, and as with our younger sisters, Bryony and I are greeted by our friends as we head into the school- Bryony by her best friend Sabrina, while I’m greeted by the best friend- or rather, my best male friend.

“Alright, mate?” George asks as we head to form together.

“Not bad, thanks,” I reply. “You?”

“Meh,” George shrugs. “Already looking forward to the weekend, heh. You get up to much this weekend just gone?”

“Ehh, not really,” I reply. “Just, you know, hanging out with friends…” Though not the group of friends that includes your girlfriend, I think to myself. Which has increasingly been the case over the last two months… “You?”

“Just spending time with, you know, Meg, Laura and her boyfriend,” George shrugs.

“Cool,” I say as we enter the form room and take our seats, my mind quickly drifting back to the weekend, when Melissa, Cameron, Lucy and Petra and I hung out at my house- and how I barely spoke to Laura, Megan or any of the other girls.

That's not to say I didn't see them at all over the holidays, though- we spent several days hanging out together, and had a Secret Santa as well. Though even that made me feel like an outsider, with me being the only one under 16 and without a part-time job to pay for my present. Nonetheless, the rest of the excellent eight treated me just as they always had, as one of the girls, though I couldn’t help but continue to feel marginalised. This could, of course, be due to the fact that as they all go to different colleges, they need to catch up with each other as well as with me, but it still doesn’t set my mind at ease.

With Melissa, Petra and the others, though, it's sometimes like we're five girls thinking with one mind. I’m not ‘the young one’ of the group, even though I am technically the youngest of the five of us, I am treated as an equal, and any conversation we have always involves all five of us. Even if many conversations consist of Melissa essentially delivering a speech to us and the rest of us listening. Yes, I know that Melissa originally befriended me because of my connection with Jamie-Lee Burke and the other Angels, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t also be friends with me for me.

…Something that’s proved when the bell rings to signify the start of our first break and I head to our ‘spot’ behind the sports hall, where my friends greet me with a smile- all four of them, even the girl who for the last twelve months hasn’t made any effort to hide her contempt for me.

“Hi Ash!” Lucy says with a grin as I sit down in between her and Petra.

“Hi girls!” I say with a girlish giggle. “Everyone had a good rest-of weekend, then?”

“Ugh, right up to when I had to get up this morning,” Melissa snorts, earning genuine giggles from the rest of us.

“Was it that you didn’t like the cold,” Petra teases, “or that Liam was very warm?” The five of us all grin as Melissa’s cheeks start to redden at the mention of her boyfriend's name.

“You’ll find out the answer to that when you’re sixteen and your boyfriend stays over,” Melissa retorts, which causes our Polish friend’s cheeks to start to flush. “Which isn’t too long from now, is it?”

“…Perhaps not,” Petra mumbles, before giggling excitedly. Petra’s birthday is two weeks from tomorrow, and her family are planning a big celebration; it is her sixteenth, after all, and even though her family may not 100% approve of me being her friend- or even 1% approve of it, for that matter- I am still invited to celebrate the big day with her.

Of course, it’ll also be Harriet’s birthday the following Monday, but her party will at least be the following weekend, and won’t clash with anything my school-based friends have planned. In all honesty, though, as much as I like Harriet (and god knows Harriet's mother likes me a lot more than Petra's parents do), it’s Petra’s party I’m looking forward to the most…

“Are we gonna have the party at your house, or at, like, a hotel or somewhere?” Cameron asks.

“Probably my house,” Petra replies with a shrug. “I don’t know yet, hehe! Ah, but I am looking forward to it so much! Maybe my parents won’t treat me like a little girl, not anymore.”

“They’ll learn,” Melissa says confidently. “My parents did.”

“Meh, it’s not THAT bad,” I shrug, earning confused stares from my friends. “Try having, like, an army of younger siblings.”

“Ooh, I almost forgot!” Cameron giggles as it becomes my turn to blush. “How is your littlest little sister, anyway?”

“She’s okay,” I mumble in reply, before letting out a happy giggle. My newest youngest sibling, Felicity Hazel Moore, was born on the 18th of December last year and quickly became the centre of attention of the whole household- well, the whole household apart from me, anyway. Mum and dad say they understand me not having any free time to devote to helping out with the baby, what with my upcoming exams and all, but I still feel a little guilty that I haven’t given my newest sister as much attention as I did to Dorothy or Eddy when they were born, mainly because the reason is I’m trying to juggle being part of two different close-knit friendship groups…

“Ahh… SO jealous,” Lucy giggles, much to my surprise. “Can’t even remember when my sister was that little. All I can remember is her being a pain in the arse.”

“Well, I repeat, try having an army of younger siblings,” I say, making my blonde-haired friend smirk.

“Meh, your sisters are okay,” Petra shrugs. “Well, I only know Bryony, but she seems to be cool.” I can’t help but smile happily as my friends all nod in agreement- for all the friends that I have, Bryony is still closer to a ‘best friend’ than any of them from either group.

“Jo says a lot of the boys are interested in her too,” Lucy teases, making me roll my eyes. “Though she’s keeping them away for now.”

“Can we not talk about my little sister’s thankfully non-existent love life, please?” I ask.

“FOR NOW,” Lucy repeats, before we exchange a genuine giggle. I don’t know exactly what it was that made the blonde girl not hate me anymore, but I’m grateful nonetheless- after all, as the saying goes, you can never have too many friends. Even if keeping them all happy can be extremely tiring…

The rest of the break period is spent thankfully gossiping about things other than our sisters and their love lives, as is the lunch period, which seems to pass by in a blur. Before I know it, the bell is ringing to indicate the end of the school day, and minutes later, I head out to the car park where my father and his car are waiting, with my (thankfully still single) sister sitting on the back seat.

“Hi Ash!” Dad says as I slide onto the seat next to him. “Good day in the end, then?”

“Meh, same as every other day,” I reply with a shrug, before getting my phone out of my bad and switching it back on.

“Well, good chat, anyway,” dad sighs as we drive away from our school. “I hope you’re not planning on spending all of tomorrow night on your phones?”

“Only the time we’re not at dance class,” Bryony replies as I’m reminded that Petra’s isn’t the only birthday we’re celebrating this month.

“You know what I mean,” dad says with a quiet growl. “It’s your sister’s big day tomorrow, and yes, you’ll be at ballet so you won’t be around for most of it, that can’t be helped. What can be helped is you at least popping in to say happy birthday to your sister and eating some cake.”

“I can do cake,” I shrug.

“Good,” dad says. “I want the two of you to go out of your way to make Dorothy feel special, okay? Especially with the new baby now here.”

“Yes, yes, we will,” Bryony says.

“Well- okay, then,” dad says. “I know I say this every time you get a new brother or sister, which this will be the last time, but I want you both to know that just because Felicity’s here now, we’re not going to be any less there for you if either of you need us. That applies for Cassie, Dorothy and Eddy as well.”

“Yes, we know,” I say. “This is, what, the fifth time we’ve had this talk?”

“Since Felicity’s been born,” Bryony interjects, earning a stern stare from our father.

“Well, then let me say it for my sake, if not for yours,” dad growls, before letting out a sigh. “I know you’re both old enough and clever enough to know this already, but Cassie and especially Dorothy aren’t. Neither of you asked for this responsibility, or to be big sisters, but- well, I’m sure you already know.”

“Yeah,” Bryony whispers while I bit my lower lip.

“I kinda- kinda did ask to be a big sister,” I mumble, making dad frown.

“…You may have asked to be a sister,” dad concedes, “but you didn’t ask to be the oldest.”

“And to be fair,” Bryony says, “Ashley’s a much better older sister than she was an older brother.” Despite my best efforts, I feel tears start to form in the corners of my eyes as dad beams me a proud smile.

After picking up our two younger sisters from primary school, we head back home, where Bryony and I head straight up to our bedroom to get changed. However, as I change into my plain grey denim skirt and pink hoodie, I can’t help but muse on what Bryony said in the car.

“Bryony,” I say hesitantly.

“Ashley…?” My sister replies as she changes, thinking nothing of stripping down to her underwear in front of me.

“Did- did you mean what you said in the car?” I ask. “You know, about me being a better sister than a brother?”

“Only ‘cause you’re a better girl than you were a boy,” my sister replies, before sighing. “But yes, you know? When you were a boy you were, like, miserable all the time… As a sister, you know, I can, like, talk to you…”

“D’aww,” I coo, waiting for Bryony to put on her jumper and jeans before giving her a tight, loving hug.

“Yes, yes, okay!” Bryony protests as she wriggles out of my hug. “God! That’s the last time I say anything nice about you…”

“What, you don’t like being hugged?” I tease my sister, who rolls her eyes in response. “I’m sure all the boys in your year will be disappointed to hear that…”

“Yeah, well, that’s their problem,” Bryony says as we head downstairs for dinner.

The rest of the evening passes quietly- well, the hour and a bit while Cassie and Dorothy are at their ballet class does, anyway- and I eventually climb into bed just after 10pm; and despite the many sources of stress in my life, I actually feel calm as I close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep.

I wake up earlier than usual the following morning, though not as early as one of my younger sisters, who I can already hear laughing excitedly as I head downstairs in my warm pink dressing gown.

“Happy birthday, Dorothy!” I say as I catch sight of the now 6-year-old girl, before giving her a hug that’s much more warmly received than the hug I gave her older sister last night.

“Thank you, Ashley!” Dorothy giggles excitedly, before grinning and staring at me expectantly.

“…Okay, here you are,” I say, taking a small gift off of the large pile on the sofa and handing it to Dorothy, who grins excitedly as she unwraps it to discover a small pink diary with pictures of Disney princesses on the front (it's very convenient to have a relative whose birthday is at the start of the year).

“Thank you, Ashley!” Dorothy repeats, giving me another excited hug before running off to show my gift to dad while I head into the kitchen to find my mother and all my other siblings.

“Morning Ashley!” Cassie says with a giggle as I get my cereal and sit next to her at the kitchen table.

“Morning Cassie!” I reply, making my bubbly sister giggle again. “Morning Bryony, Eddy and Felicity too! And Mum too, heh!”

“Was beginning to think you’d forgotten me,” mum says with a sly grin. “Have you given Dorothy her present?”

“Like I had any choice,” I reply, making mum grin wider.

“I got her a new scrunchie to wear at ballet!” Cassie squeaks happily.

“That’s the theme of a lot of her gifts,” mum says, earning knowing smiles and nods from me and Bryony. “Are you all looking forward to tonight’s party?”

“Yep!” Cassie replies. “Though really, I would rather be at ballet with Ashley and Bryony.”

“What a surprise,” Bryony whispers to me, nearly making me choke on my cereal!

“Well, Miss Fullerton says you’ll be in the big girls’ class soon,” mum consoles Cassie. “And if you went tonight, none of your friends would be there, would they? Unlike Bryony and Ashley, who WILL be there with their friends.” Well, one of them, at least, I think to myself.

“Well- okay, I guess,” Cassie shrugs as she finishes her breakfast, before running upstairs to get changed into her school uniform.

Bryony and I follow suit a short while later, and before long we four girls are in dad’s car, heading to our respective schools. However, as you might imagine, the advice that mum gave Cassie this morning is ringing in my ears, especially when Bryony heads off with Sabrina and the rest of her friends, while I head to form with George, and only George. My mood picks up at breaktime, though, when I head to my usual spot and am greeted with the same enthusiasm with which I was greeted yesterday.

“Hi Ash!” Cameron giggles as I sit down and straighten my short grey skirt.

“Hi girls!” I say with a giggle. “What’s new?”

“Ugh, literally NOTHING,” Melissa moans. “Other than being desperate for the summer to come round, right?”

“Hell yeah!” the four of us all cheer in reply.

“We should totally go to the beach one day in summer,” Lucy suggests. “You know, like, the five of us?”

“Totally,” Cameron agrees. “Ooh, or maybe, like, a music festival?”

“I can agree with that,” Petra says.

“Sure,” I say, before remembering that I'd already made plans with my other friends for this summer- and they'd specifically delayed their plans for last summer for my benefit. “Though… I, umm, may have, you know, a clash…”

“Oh- Ash…” Melissa sighs, making me shrivel in my chair. “Are you really that desperate to go to Disneyland with your family AGAIN?”

“Yeah,” Lucy says, the familiar sneer returning to her face. “You’ll be, like, sixteen by then, surely they’ll let you stay home by yourself?”

“Well- I doubt it,” I say with a sigh, before clenching my fists to steel myself before I continue. “What I’m really talking about, though, is- I kinda promised Laura and the other girls I’d go to the beach with them this summer too. I mean, they were going to go last year, but didn’t because I couldn’t go…”

“So?” Melissa asks, making me frown. “Just go with them some other week, I mean, we’re going to have MONTHS off during the summer, aren’t we?”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” I chuckle.

“There should be plenty of festivals in the summer, shouldn’t there?” Petra asks.

“We’ll just make sure WE get tickets to the best ones,” Melissa says with a smug grin that I thought I’d seen the last of.

“And AngelCon too!” Cameron reminds us. “That’s going to be in London this year too, isn’t it?”

“Well, if anyone should know…” Melissa says as four pairs of eyes look expectantly in my direction.

“…It’s supposedly going to be in July,” I say, smirking as my four friends all giggle excitedly.

“Oh, I am SO going to that!” Cameron squeaks excitedly as I try not to fidget- this chat has been a stark reminder of just why I’m friends with Melissa and co.

However, the chat soon moves onto other topics, such as music, fashion and boys (though on that last topic, I am at least excused from joining in), and by the time I return to class, I’m again happy, or at the very least, no longer anxious about the coming summer. And in fairness, it’s not like the excellent eight wouldn’t have felt the same way if they thought I could get them an ‘in’ at a big event like AngelCon.

…And, seemingly to set my mind at ease, my ‘Angel links’ aren’t even brought up at lunchtime, as talk of fashion and boys dominates the discussion before we return to class for our final lesson of the day. Once that’s over and done with, I head out to the car park as usual, and before long, we’re at my younger two sisters’ (and my former) primary school, and for the first time in a very long time, it’s the younger of the two girls who’s the most excited!

“Hello, birthday girl!” dad says as Cassie and Dorothy climb onto the back seat alongside Bryony.

“Hi Daddy!” Dorothy squeaks.

“Did you have a fun day at school?” I ask, Dorothy responding with a spiel about her day that lasts until our car returns home. What amuses me the most, though, is how Cassie remains silent and lets Dorothy tell us about her day, when usually it's a miracle if she goes 30 seconds without saying anything. I can’t help but smile on how easily Cassie’s fitting into the ‘big sister’ role after 8 years of being a ‘little sister’.

Once we're home, Cassie and Dorothy immediately rush upstairs to change into the special dresses they've chosen to wear for tonight's party, while Bryony and I remain in our uniforms for the time being. Our younger siblings enjoy a fancy meal prepared by our mum while Bryony and I have a lighter meal instead, and once we’ve eaten, we head up to our bedroom, where we finally strip off our uniforms in favour of another uniform- a black dance leotard and a pair of pink tights. After tying each other’s long blonde hair into tight, severe buns (something that’s become a bit of a ritual for myself and Bryony), we head down to dad’s car, and twenty minutes later, we’re pulling up outside the front entrance of the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance.

As per usual, once we’re inside and out of the cold, Bryony wastes no time in heading over to where Sabrina and the rest of her friends are sitting, while I head over to the quiet corner where Melissa is tying her soft ballet slippers to her feet.

“Evening!” I say, earning a smile from my petite friend. It still amazes me how the most popular girl in our school can be so meek when she’s not in the school environment. It could well be she’s only confident at school because she’s got her gang around her- but then again, I’m a part of that gang, too…

“Hey,” Melissa eventually says. “You okay?”

“Meh, not bad,” I reply. “Are they doing auditions for the new show today?”

“Think we’re still rehearsing, learning the choreography,” Melissa replies. “Why, are you thinking of going for a solo role?” In the school’s performances, solo roles are usually restricted to the Elite class, who are all over 16, have for the most part been dancing since before they could walk and are looking toward professional dance careers. However, one or two solo roles are usually reserved for dancers aged 14 or over who are part of the advanced class- a description that perfectly fits me and Melissa. And whether she’s meek in this class, I know there’d be hell to pay at school if I were to beat her to a role…

“Haven’t decided yet,” I shrug. “It’d depend on how many roles are available, and what roles they are.”

“Same here,” Melissa shrugs. “Heh, though I don’t even like Daft Punk.”

“Best not to let Madame Renou-Briggs hear you say that!” I say, sharing a giggle with my friend. “Ahh… Kinda in a bit of trouble just being here tonight, heh.”

“Really?” Melissa asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “It’s one of my sisters’ birthdays, and they’ve got a party tonight and, well, yeah.”

“How old are they?” Melissa asks.

“Six,” I reply. “Kinda why I’d rather be here, heh. Though it would be nice to be at a party where no one even knows that I’m not, you know, ‘XX’.”

“Heh,” Melissa chuckles. “I bet it’s a cute party, though. And I’ve said before how jealous I am that you have so many little sisters, heh.”

“Oh- definitely,” I say. “Dorothy's kinda got it hard, being in the middle of six, but she always has a smile on her face, heh.”

“’Dorothy’?” Melissa asks with an odd look on her face. “Poor kid…”

“It- it’s just my family’s idea of a joke,” I say. “I’m Ashley, my oldest little sister is Bryony, then Cassidy, Dorothy, Eddy, Felicity…”

“They couldn’t have called her, I dunno, ‘Daisy’ or something?” Melissa asks.

“If only you’d been around six years ago,” I say, earning a grin from my friend as we’re called into the studio and take our place at the barre.

After an hour of plies and pirouettes, I and the other twenty-odd girls in the class exit the studio and head back to the changing room, where I slip my feet out of my stiff pointe shoes and wriggle my toes to try to get some feeling back into them other than pain. As I’m pulling my short skirt and pink trainers back on, Melissa slides up next to me with a cheeky yet confident look on her face.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school, then,” Melissa says. “Enjoy your kid’s party, hehe!”

“Yes, yes,” I sigh in reply. “And it’s not my party, it’s my sister’s.”

“Well- whatever,” Melissa says. “The next party you go to? Petra’s? I guarantee you’ll enjoy it more, hehe!”

“Yeah, it’s probably a safe bet,” I say, before exchanging a gentle hug with the petite girl as Bryony approaches. “Ehh, looks like dad’s here, see you tomorrow!”

“See you!” Melissa says as I head off with my sister, confused by Melissa’s sudden confidence- her guarantee about Petra’s party seemed like more than just a generic statement…

Two and a bit weeks later, I step out of my mother's car feeling and looking a lot more grown-up than I did at my dance class. I'm wearing a very fancy dark blue dress with a figure-hugging bodice and a flared knee-length skirt, a lot more make-up than I typically would on a Saturday night, including scarlet lipstick and matching nail polish, two slender gold studs in each earlobe, and most exciting of all, I'm wearing a brand new pair of shoes with a two inch heel that were bought especially for this party. I take a deep breath as mum drives away, before ringing the doorbell. Seconds later a wide grin spreads across my face as the birthday girl herself answers the door.

“Happy birthday!” I squeak as I exchange a friendly hug with the now 16-year-old girl.

“Thank you!” Petra squeaks in reply, before leading me into the house, where the party is already in full swing. I keep my smile on my face as I walk through the partygoers, even though it’s clear from some of their facial expressions that they’re NOT pleased to see me.

I should point out that I’m not talking about our mutual friends from school- the only school friends there are Melissa, Cameron and Lucy, and technically Petra’s sister Ariadna, all of whom know and like me. Petra’s older brother and sister, though, aren’t as fond of me, and Petra’s parents especially aren’t. When I first made friends with Petra, she explained that her family was from Krakow, one of the more conservative parts of Poland, and she was brought up to follow their traditions- even though she was born in London, English is her second language. Petra was brought up in the Catholic faith, like her parents, and while I know loads of Roman Catholics who have no problem with me being, well, me, Petra's family aren't in that group. For them, anyone L, G, B or especially T is to be viewed with distrust, especially if that person is friends with their daughter. And with me being both ‘L’ and ‘T’, there’s basically no chance of them ever fully accepting me as Petra’s friend. Petra’s even said that if I was ever alone with any member of her family other than her or her sister, my safety might even be at risk. All of which is a pity, given that I like Petra the most of anyone in our ‘group’- I also find her the most attractive, too…

“Hey Ash!” Melissa says as I approach the part of the living room where she and Cameron are sat. “Love that dress!”

“Thanks!” I giggle, doing a quick spin to show off the garment. “Yours looks amazing too!”

“Thank you,” Melissa says with a smug grin. “Of course, I do have extremely rich parents who can afford to buy me designer clothes, hehe!” Very humble, I think to myself as my smile starts to falter. “Not as rich as someone’s parents, though!” I giggle along with my friends as the birthday girl starts to blush.

“Ahh…” Petra chuckles. “We are not THAT rich, hehe!”

“Rich enough to afford those shoes, though?” Cameron teases as Petra shows off the red soles of her fancy new shoes.

“SO jealous,” I say with a happy sigh. “What time’s Lucy getting here? Doesn’t seem right, just the four of us…” I fidget uncomfortably in my seat as an angry look spreads over Melissa and Cameron’s faces.

“Lucy won’t be coming tonight,” Melissa says, her tone of voice hinting that I may have just made a major faux pas.

“Umm… Okay?” I say.

“She won’t be coming any other night, either,” Cameron says with a sneer.

“Okay…” I repeat, confused by my friends’ sudden change in attitude. Just yesterday, we were hanging out with Lucy at school, chatting with her as we usually did. Now, 24 hours later, she’s a pariah? Melissa didn’t even say anything at ballet last night… “Did- did something happen?”

“Let’s not spoil the party by talking about HER,” Melissa sneers, before the smug smile returns to her face. “We should be talking about the birthday girl instead!”

“Yep!” I say with a giggle, even though I can’t keep my mind away from Lucy. We’d never been particularly close, I’d barely call her a friend, but in recent weeks we’d at least become civil to each other… I know the in the past, Melissa’s threatened Lucy to be more accepting of me or risk being ostracised, but she had been doing just that…

My thoughts are interrupted when the doorbell rings again and Petra jumps up to answer it. A few seconds later, my friend returns to the living room with another girl I semi-recognise as a student from our school. She's a few inches shorter than me, but extremely skinny- a look emphasised by the slender knee-length skirt of her dress and the 3.5" heels on her shoes. She has long blonde hair a similar colour to mine, and wears very fashionable designer glasses- and behind the lenses of her glasses, she seems to be looking directly at me...

“Girls, you know Lydia, right?” Petra says as the new girl greets us all with gentle hugs- my hug lasting longer than either Melissa or Cameron’s…

“Hey, of course I do!” Melissa giggles, before turning to myself and Cameron to explain. “We’re in drama class together.”

“Ah, okay,” I say while Lydia squeezes her very slender frame into the seat next to me. “I love that dress!”

“Thanks!” Lydia says. “Yours is pretty cute too, hehe! You’re Ashley Moore, aren’t you?”

“’Fraid so, heh!” I reply with a nervous chuckle- is Lydia going to be Lucy’s replacement?

“Aww, don’t be like that,” Lydia coos. “I think it’s cool, like, you lived your whole life wanting to be a girl, and now you are one. A gorgeous girl, actually!”

“Aww, thanks!” I giggle. “I’ve still got a LONG way to go, though, to be as beautiful as any of you four.” Needless to say, Melissa approves of this response.

“Well, for starters, you’ve definitely got the right hair colour,” Lydia teases, making me blush as our three brunette friends all pretend to pout, before breaking down in a fit of giggles.

“Petra,” the Polish girl’s mother says, interrupting our giggles before saying something in Polish that I don’t understand exactly, but I infer to mean ‘do your friends want any drinks’ as the birthday girl disappears into the kitchen and returns shortly afterwards with fancy looking mocktails for us all.

“My parents won’t let us drink alcohol until we’re eighteen,” Petra says apologetically.

“That’s probably for the best,” Lydia says. “I had a glass of champagne at my brother’s eighteenth last year, and ‘cause I’m so skinny, it REALLY went to my head, hehe!”

“Hehe,” I giggle, making my new friend grin appreciatively.

“Ooh, here comes the cake!” Cameron giggles as Petra’s father and brother emerge from the kitchen carrying a large cake with pink frosting, while we’re all ushered into the middle of the room.

I stand back and watch as Petra’s mother and father give a speech in Polish that I (obviously) don’t understand, but which is obviously very sweet and loving judging by Petra’s reaction. Eventually, the speech ends, and Petra blows out the candles on the cake to cheers and applause from us and Petra’s family. After we’ve all had a slice of cake each, Petra turns on some music while her family clears some space in the room to allow us to dance- and much to my surprise, Lydia immediately slinks up next to me.

“Hey Ash!” Lydia giggles.

“Hey Lydia!” I reply with a grin.

“Did you understand any of that?” Lydia asks me. “You’re doing languages at school, right?”

“Umm, German and French, not Polish,” I reply with a giggle. "Though Petra's taught me the odd word, not enough to keep up, though."

“You’d think that because they knew there were English people here, and we ARE in England…” Lydia says, before trailing off. “Never mind, hehe!”

“Yeah,” I say with an unsure chuckle. “So, umm, you said you have an older brother?”

“Two, actually,” Lydia replies. “Moron 1 and Moron 2, heh. How about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“Umm, one brother, four sisters,” I say, making Lydia’s jaw drop.

“F- five!?” Lydia says with a giggle.

“Yep,” I say with a smug grin. “And I’m the oldest, heh. Next oldest is my sister Bryony, she’s 12 and goes to our school. Youngest is just a few weeks old.”

“Oh, that is so cool!” Lydia giggles. “And cute, hehe!”

“Yeah,” I chuckle. “You know, when people meet me, the first thing they ask me ISN’T about my brother and my sisters, heh.”

“Well- you asked first,” Lydia teasingly reminds me. “But- yeah, I am kinda ‘curious’, heh…”

“All my life I just- wanted to be a girl,” I say. “It’s kinda hard to explain if you don’t know what it’s like yourself, heh.”

“I bet,” Lydia says. “So, umm… Do- do you have a boyfriend?”

“Not interested in boys,” I reply with a shrug, before grinning. “What, just because I’m a girl now, I have to like boys?”

“Well- umm, Jamie-Lee Burke and Kelly Watson do…” Lydia mumbles.

“Oh, you- you’re an Angels fan too?” I ask.

“I LOVE the Angels,” Lydia giggles. “You know Jamie-Lee, don’t you?”

“We’ve met a few times,” I say smugly, before biting my lip as I wonder whether Lydia’s interest in being my friend is similar to Melissa’s…

“SO jealous,” Lydia says. “I’d probably, like, just fall apart if I ever met one of them, hehe!”

“They’re really nice, though,” I say. “They’re just, like, people, you know?”

“Oh sure, miss ‘friend of celebrities’!” Lydia teases, making me blush. “Aww, I didn’t mean that in a bad way… I think you’re, like, one of the coolest people I know, hehe!”

“Thanks,” I giggle, before feeling confused as Lydia bites her lip.

“So, umm…” Lydia says quietly. “You- you really don’t, like, ‘like’ boys?”

“Nope,” I reply. “Why, do- do you have a boyfriend?”

“Not right now,” Lydia replies. “Have you- have you ever kissed a girl before?”

“…A few times,” I reply as I think back to the time when Suri and Laura both pretended to be my girlfriend, and that one kiss I shared with Mia, the kiss that caused me to be a member of this group in the first place... “But only, you know, a few... Have- have you ever kissed a girl before?”

“No,” Lydia confesses, before a twinkle comes to her eyes. “I’ve always, you know, wanted to, though…” I lick my lips as I gaze into Lydia’s brown eyes, both of us seemingly having the same idea at the same time…

Mere milliseconds after entering the kitchen and ensuring that it's empty, Lydia's mouth meets mine, and moments later, our tongues are slowly exploring each other's mouths while Lydia rubs a hand up and down my thigh, sending tingles through my body with every touch...

Our make-out session only lasts a few seconds, but during those seconds time seems to stand still, and I already feel my body start to yearn for more- and more than just kissing and thigh rubbing, too...

“Hey, you two,” Melissa says with a knowing smirk as we emerge from the kitchen.

“Oh, hey Melissa,” I say, hastily rearranging the hem of my dress. “Just, you know, getting a drink…”

“I bet,” Melissa teases, before winking to let us know that she approves of our little ‘encounter’. Lydia and I exchange a knowing look as we head back to the makeshift dancefloor, though I let out an involuntarily yelp as I feel Lydia’s slender fingers give my right buttock a stealthy pinch.

“Plenty more where THAT came from,” Lydia teases as we rejoin our friends and start dancing again.

Shortly after 10:45pm, our parents arrive to drive us home, though before we leave, I make sure to exchange Facebook details with Lydia- along with another stealthy kiss when we’re sure that no one’s looking.

“See you later, girlfriend!” Lydia whispers to me, making my whole body tingle as she climbs into her father’s car and drives away.

“Evening,” dad says as I elegantly lower myself onto the passenger seat of his car, conscious of the shortness of my dress. “Good party?”

“Yeah, it was great!” I reply, giggling as I get my phone out to discover that Lydia has already connected to me on Facebook and sent several ‘kissing’ emojis through messenger.

“The fun doesn’t stop when you leave, then,” dad sighs as I reply to Lydia’s message with several ‘kissing’ emojis of my own.

The virtual make-out session ends before I get home, however, and as I step inside, I let out a sigh of relief as I free my feet from my high-heeled shoes, before slowly walking upstairs to my bedroom. Much to my surprise, despite it being after 11pm, my bedroom light is still on, and when I head in, I discover my sister is still awake, reading a book in bed.

“Hey Bryony,” I say to the 12-year-old girl. “You’re up late?”

“Meh, wasn’t much point try to get to sleep while you were still out,” Bryony shrugs, putting her book away as I sit down in front of our mirror and start removing my make-up and jewellery. “…I still want that dress when I’m older.”

“Get your own,” I retort, making my sister roll her eyes, before I remember a conversation from earlier in the night. “Bryony, you- you’re friends with Jo Sedgwick, aren’t you?”

“Mm,” Bryony grunts in the affirmative.

“Were you hanging out with her today?” I ask.

“Yeah, at Sabrina’s house,” Bryony replies. “Why are you so interested about Jo?”

“Did she talk about her sister at all today?” I ask.

“Why would she?” Bryony snorts. “I don’t spend all my time with my friends talking about you…”

“Yes, yes, okay,” I sigh. “It’s just- ugh, never mind.”

“Good,” Bryony says, before yawning and laying back down in bed. “Can I go to sleep now?”

“It’s a free country,” I retort, rolling my eyes as my sister lays back down and rolls over so she’s facing away from me.

I climb into my own bed shortly afterward, and given the evening’s activities, it doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

The next thing I’m aware of is sitting on the sofa downstairs next to Lydia, both of us wearing the same dresses we wore last night. Almost immediately, our lips meet, and I feel my whole body start to tremble as our lips part and our tongues start to touch, and-

“Ashley,” Bryony calls, distracting me from my girlfriend. “Ashley! Wake up!” I feel my body shake from side to side as Lydia seems to slip away from me, and within seconds I find myself waking up in my bed with my sister shaking my shoulder.

“Ugh, go away,” I moan, earning a frown and a stern stare from my sister.

“Mum told me to wake you up,” Bryony says without any trace of sympathy in her voice. “She’s taking you round to Laura’s at 10 and figured you’d want to shower first.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I moan, throwing off my bedcovers and exposing my body to the cold morning air.

After a quick breakfast and an even quicker shower, I head back up to my bedroom to get dressed for the day, but before I do, I check my phone to see if I’ve received any new messages- and I can’t help but grin when I see several new messages from the girl I met last night.

‘Hey you,’ Lydia’s message reads, punctuated- of course- with several ‘kissing’ emojis. ‘You doing anything today?’ I check the time of the message and see that it was only sent 3 minutes ago, and as Lydia is still online, I postpone getting dressed in favour of sending her a reply.

‘Hey, not much,’ I type. ‘Just meeting up with some friends in a bit.’

‘Cool,’ Lydia types. ‘Melissa and her friends?’

‘No, Laura White and the rest of her group,’ I reply, trusting that if Lydia knew who I was on sight, she’d likely recognise Laura’s name as well.

‘Okay,’ Lydia replies, causing me to bite my lip in confusion- with this being a text conversation, there’s no way of telling if that was a good ‘okay’ or a bad ‘okay’…

‘We’ll see each other tomorrow at school, right?’ I ask, crossing my fingers that I haven’t offended my girlfriend of less than 24 hours.

‘Sure,’ Lydia replies, and again I struggle to determine her feelings- though her next message certainly gives me a good clue. ‘I just thought that as we spent a lot of last night snogging, you’d want to pick up from where we left off?’

‘No, I definitely do,’ I type. ‘I haven’t seen Laura or the rest of the girls all week though.’

‘Yeah, but you can see them any time,’ Lydia types, making me frown- that really isn’t true. ‘Don’t you want to hang out with me?’

‘Of course I do,’ I type, prompting an idea to pop into my head. ‘Why don’t you come and hang out with us today?’

‘I’d rather not,’ Lydia types. ‘I don’t know them as well as you do.’

‘I could introduce you to them,’ I offer.

‘Wouldn’t you rather have me to yourself?’ Lydia asks, punctuating her message with several ‘kissing’ emojis that just exacerbates my dilemma. After last night’s ‘activities’, I definitely do want more, to spend as much time with my new girlfriend as possible. But then again, we’re both only fifteen, and there’s only so much we can legally do- especially as our only options for where to hang out are my house (with my parents and younger siblings), her house {with her parents and her older brothers) or out in public. And there’s the fact that I haven’t seen Laura or the rest of the excellent eight in over a week, and they put their weekly get-together back from Saturday to Sunday purely because I was attending Petra’s party last night. But then again, I will see them at Harriet’s birthday party next weekend, and even then, I’m not going to get to kiss any of those girls…

‘I’ll tell them I won’t be going round today,’ I type. ‘Give me a couple of minutes to let them know.’

‘Cool!’ Lydia types, followed by yet more ‘kissing’ emojis that I reciprocate before opening another chat window with Laura.

‘Hey Laura,’ I type, trembling slightly as I try to work out exactly how I’m going to let my friend down. I don’t have long to think, though, before I get a reply.

‘Hey Ash!’ Laura replies. ‘What time will you be round, are you going to be late?’ That’s one way of putting it, I think to myself.

‘Yeah,’ I reply, taking a deep breath before continuing. ‘Sorry, but won’t be able to come round today, I’m knackered after last night.’

‘I thought you might be,’ Laura types with a ‘winking’ emoji. ‘It’s okay. You get your breath back lol!’

‘Lol,’ I reply with a ‘smiling’ emoji.

‘We’ll still see you next Saturday, right?’ Laura asks.

‘Of course!’ I reply, before pondering how to word my next message. ‘Do you think Harriet would be okay if I bring along a friend?’

‘You’d have to ask her,’ Laura replies. ‘Me and Megan have been told to leave our BFs at home though.’

‘What about a GF?’ I ask, following by ‘winking’, ‘blushing’ and ‘giggling’ emojis.

‘Did you and Petra finally get together last night?’ Laura asks with a ‘winking’ emoji of her own.

‘No, a different girl,’ I type. ‘Lydia Wilson, from my year in school, dunno if you remember her?’

‘Yeah, I think so, she was in drama club, wasn’t she?’ Laura asks. ‘Blonde hair, glasses, really skinny?’

‘That’s her,’ I type.

‘Is she who you’re hanging out with today?’ Laura asks, and I have the word ‘yeah’ typed in the reply box and ready to send before I realise the trap that my friend has led me into. I hesitate as I think of how to reply to Laura’s question, but before I’m able to think of anything, she starts typing again.

‘It’s okay,’ Laura continues. ‘I’ve blown off a few weekends to spend more time with Kain lol. And do NOT make any ‘blowing off’ jokes.’ I let out a giggle at Laura’s innuendo, especially when she punctuates it with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji.

‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ I reply. ‘And nice choice of emoji.’ Laura’s reply of a ‘winking’ emoji is enough to elicits more giggles from me- and reassure me that Laura at least is okay with me taking a break from the excellent eight this weekend.

‘See you on Saturday!’ Laura types, to which I reply with a ‘smiling’ emoji before returning to the chat with my girlfriend.

‘I’m all yours today,’ I type with a ‘smiling’ emoji that gets immediately reciprocated.

‘Too right you are,’ Lydia replies with a ‘winking’ emoji that makes me giggle. ‘Do you need directions to my place?’

‘Please,’ I reply, saving to my phone the Google map that Lydia sends.

‘My parents and my brothers are out most of today,’ Lydia types with a ‘smiling devil’ emoji. ‘They won’t be back until late afternoon, so we’ll have the whole place to ourselves.’ I reply with the same emoji my girlfriend just used, before signing out of Facebook and picking my shortest skirt and tightest top out of my wardrobe.

A short while later, mum drops me off at Lydia’s house, and as they drive away, my girlfriend opens the door and gives me a long, deep kiss before leading me inside…

Lydia and I remain by ourselves until the early afternoon, when her brothers arrive home. Lydia had warned me that her brothers are almost as insensitive as Petra's family when it comes to LGBT issues, and sure enough, when they arrive and see me in my short skirt, their faces immediately contort into frowns- frowns that deepen when they see the wide grin on their younger sister's face. After a quick text message, dad arrives in his car a few minutes later and immediately senses my giddy demeanour as I slide onto the passenger seat of his car.

“Afternoon,” dad says, trying to disguise how wide his eyes had widened. “Take it you had a good day, then?”

“Definitely,” I reply with a barely suppressed giggle.

“Yeah, well…“ dad says, before letting out a long sigh. “Ash, even a blind man can tell that the ‘friend’ you were with today was more ‘girlfriend’ than ‘girl friend’.”

“Yeah, so?” I shrug. “I’m fifteen, it’s not unusual to have a girlfriend when you’re fifteen, is it? Even despite my ‘situation’, before you say anything.”

“I wasn’t going to comment about THAT,” dad says. "But- ugh, and I really DON'T want to sound insensitive here..."

"You could do that by just, you know, not saying anything," I say, biting my lip as I sense that probably wasn't the best thing I could've said to my father.

"Well, like it or not, you're getting this talk," dad says. "And yes, it is THE talk."

"Wouldn't 'the talk' be more appropriate coming from mum?" I ask. "Mother to daughter, that sort of thing?"

"Well, no, because firstly, your mother's never had a girlfriend before, whereas I have," dad replies. "And secondly... Ash, like it or not, you are still, well, physically male."

"Kinda failing at the 'not sounding insensitive' thing," I say with a frown.

"Well…" dad says, before growling quietly. "I would like just once in this conversation to not begin a sentence with the word 'well'. Which isn't going to happen if you keep arguing with everything I say."

"Sorry," I mumble.

"Like it or not, Ash, you are still, erm, anatomically male," dad says. "You have the 'equipment'. And you're going to want to use it."

"Sorry for interrupting again," I say, "but is this conversation meant to make me feel really uncomfortable?"

"Yes," dad bluntly replies. "I had the same conversation with my dad when I was your age. Younger, actually. And I felt just as uncomfortable then as I do now."

"Bet you weren't wearing a skirt though, were you?" I ask.

"No, I can safely say I wasn't," dad replies. "Look, Ash, you're a smart kid, so I'm going to skip to the end of this conversation, I trust you to fill in the blanks. So here it comes: Don't. Get. Her. Pregnant."

"Umm..." I mumble quietly.

"Believe it or not, I have done a lot of reading about your, well, 'situation'," dad says. "I know that those pills you take block testosterone production but they don't make you completely infertile, not yet, anyway. So, for the love of god, remember that next time you're alone with your girlfriend, okay?"

"Yes, trust me, I'm not going to make you a granddad at the age of 37," I say, making my father roll his eyes.

"Not while I still have a living grandparent myself," dad chuckles. "Ash, I don't want you to be miserable, I just want you to be careful, okay? And trust me when I say those two things aren't mutually exclusive."

"Yeah," I chuckle, trying not to frown as dad inadvertently brings my mind back to the other group of friends I didn't spend today hanging out with. I want to keep hanging out with Laura and the rest of the excellent eight. I also want to keep hanging out with Melissa, Petra and Cameron. And I definitely want to keep hanging out with Lydia. I thought I'd found a balance in my life, able to keep both sides happy while staying happy myself, though right now, my life feels more imbalanced than ever...

The following day, I arrive at school to be greeted as usual by the one friend- the one person I'm not related to by blood, even- who's been a constant in my life for the last five years, though the grin he has on his face is more than a bit unnerving.

"Alright, mate?" George says, his teasing tone of voice making me roll my eyes. "What? Megan told me that you blew her and the other girls off yesterday in favour of that Lydia girl in our year? Mate, I've got to say: nice one!"

"Yeah, well, don't let your girlfriend hear you say that," I snort.

"What?" George protests. "I thought talking about girls was the only thing we had in common anymore..."

"Yes, well- ugh," I sigh. "George, mate, I'm sorry, okay? I- I'm just not comfortable, you know, 'kissing and telling'..."

"Okay, no problem," George says. "Just- well done again, heh!"

"Thanks," I say with a sarcastic snort as we take our seats and Mr. Jackson begins our form session. I can immediately tell from the giggles going round the class, though, that it won't take long for news of me and Lydia to make it around the whole school...

Sure enough, when breaktime comes and I head through the corridors to my usual spot, I'm accompanied by the whispers and giggles of the other students, something I'd hoped was a thing of the past. On this occasion, though, I can at least be confident that the giggles aren't simply because I'm wearing a skirt. If anything, I'm almost proud of them.

...And when I arrive at my spot, I discover Lydia already there waiting for me along with Petra, Melissa and Cameron, and upon seeing me, she immediately leaps to her feet and gives me a gentle kiss on my lips, much to the amusement of the nearby kids!

"Hey, lover!" Lydia whispers as she leads me to my usual seat, making sure to give my backside a playful pinch before I sit down.

"Hey girls!" I giggle. "Recovered from the weekend yet, Petra?"

"Funny, I would have thought we would ask you that question!" The Polish girl teases, making both me and my girlfriend blush.

"The answer to your question, Petra, is 'yes'," Lydia answers for both of us. "You were DEFINITELY right, Melissa!"

"Yeah," Melissa says with an awkward chuckle as I frown in confusion. "Anyway, did you see who Lucy was hanging out with this morning? Allie. Gresham."

"Ugh," Cameron spits. "What, do natural born losers just gravitate toward each other or something?"

"Must do," Lydia shrugs as I find myself nodding in agreement with the other girls- whatever Lucy did to earn Melissa's wrath, I'm not going to question it, especially not if Lydia agrees too. I just need to make sure that I don't do anything to direct her anger toward me, especially not if it might jeopardise my relationship with Lydia, too.

"Ugh, I dunno what it is, but I am already looking forward to the weekend, hehe!" I giggle, earning nods of agreement from everyone.

"Oh, I think I know..." Lydia purrs, making me giggle again.

"Was it not your friend Harriet's birthday this weekend?" Petra asks.

"Yeah, it's her party on Saturday," I reply, though I fidget when I suddenly see Lydia frowning. "...Though I still haven't decided yet if I'm going to go to that." Or rather, I've just undecided, I think to myself. I was really looking forward to Harriet's party, but at the same time, I want to spend as much time with Lydia as possible, and she's made it clear she has no interest in being friends with the excellent eight, as much as I might try to sell them to her. And it's not like I'm going to find another girlfriend as willing as Lydia to be with a girl like me.

"Right answer," Lydia says with a grin, before giving my tights-covered knee a playful squeeze and whispering in my ear. "I can think of something you'll enjoy a LOT more than that party!" I nod in agreement, though as I do, I let out a silent sigh. I wish I could be in two places at once...