“So you’re telling me the ONE thing we have to do is climb this pile of boxes and crawl through that window?” I stared incredulously at the side of the theater.

“Well if you want to do more philanthropy we could have you clean up the flooding in the front,” Melissa shrugged. “The show is in like two days, we really need to get a bilge pump in there.”

“How exactly did it flood?” Aleah folded her arms as she watched me hop onto the first tier of boxes and begin to crawl my way to the top, toward an open window. To be honest it wasn’t that high up but it still irritated me to no end.

“Someone from DAM dropped a cherry bomb in one of the first floor toilets,” Melissa shrugged. “Run of the mill stuff really.”

“Don’t you mean DEM?” I glanced down from the pile as I neared the window.

“No, DAM, Delta Alpha Muh,” Melissa confirmed. “You’ve never heard of them?”

“Well I mean…there are so many on campus,” I shrugged. Reaching down, I gave Aleah a hand as she neared my position at the top of the stack. A second later, she lost her footing and slipped, slamming her knee against one of the wooden crates and yelping as she nearly tumbled back down the stack. I gripped her hand tighter and pulled her back, dragging her toward the window as Melissa and Leina stood below shaking their heads.

“You guys coming up or what?” Aleah gasped as she gripped the windowsill, staring at the cold, dark void of the hallway within.

“Yeah, we’re going to take the side door,” Melissa explained. She, Leina, and Courtney began to walk past us.

“There’s a SIDE door?” I demanded. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah, just wanted to see how well you could climb,” Melissa shrugged as they disappeared into the night.

“You fucking-“ Aleah began to shout. I placed a hand on her shoulder.

“We’re already up here,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s just go in.”

“Fine, but once we get Audrey, the bitch gets it,” She growled and threw a leg over the window, trying her best to propel herself inward, but the moment she cleared the sill, I heard her collide with the floor, a thump resounding from within the darkness and her muffled cry as she immediately tried to regain her footing. I rolled my eyes and cl imbed inside effortlessly. We were in the upper hall, normally researched for storage but also an access point for the box seating high above the floor. I immediately reached a hand down, into the darkness which Aleah found by moonlight and grabbed to bring herself back to a standing position.

“Clumsy bitch,” I muttered as we moved down the hall, past a storage closet and toward the stairs at the back.

“Were are we going?” She demanded. “I can’t see anything.”

“It’s fine,” I reassured her mostly to keep her from freaking out. “I’ve been in here like a million times. We follow that orange exit sign, down the stairs, and to the right. We’re going backstage, there’s a dressing room. If she’s anywhere, it’ll be there.

“Do we even know she’s IN here?” Aleah asked, exhaustion tainting her tone. I pushed forward, walking toward the stairs and making my way down.

“It’s where she always is when she’s here,” I confirmed. Truthfully she normally played her game back here, but I’d checked to see if she was online, and nothing. I hoped she was here, I really did. As soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs we were swiftly rejoined by Leina, Courtney, and Melissa who were probably staring at us with smug looks; not that I could really see them in the dark.

“How was spelunking?” Melissa asked us with a chuckle.

“Just what I needed to stay in shape,” I shot back. I stepped forward and threw open the double doors leading to the theater. It was a side door that allowed us quick access to the stage and subsequently, the area behind the curtain that was littered with spotlights, props, and ropes intertwined with pullies far above the stage. Leina, Melissa and I navigate the space easily, but I heard Aleah stumble more than a few times. For some reason I felt a twinge of satisfaction, knowing that I was more familiar with this place than she was. Was that really something to be proud of?

Sure enough, just toward the back of the stage we could see a sliver of light beneath a black door. It was a dressing room generally designed for the star of the show. Inside, the room was connected to the others via a long hallway, but it was mostly kept separate.

“What, did she turn into a damn hermit?” Aleah muttered.

“No,” Melissa laughed. “She just likes to have a space away from YOU.”

I stepped away from the group, pressing both hands against the release bar and practically storming into the room.

“Alright Audrey, I said loudly. “It’s time to-“

She was there, she was definitely there but it wasn’t what I was expecting, not at all. I expected to see her hunched over the makeup vanity with her laptop, playing video games as usual, but her laptop was nowhere to be seen, and she wasn’t sitting in the chair. Instead she was sitting cross legged on the floor, her head down, and dressed in the outfit she’d wear in the play. The lace-up bodice dress and chemise, but it was haphazard, the lace loosened, one shoulder pulled down as if she’d started to undress, but stopped partway. Around her I could see various feminine items; a contour kit, a few brushes, a wig, all strewn haphazardly across the floor. Most of all, I could hear the sobs emanating from her bowed head.

“Audrey?” I said softly. “Are you okay?”

“Hey, little sis?” Leina stepped forward and knelt on her haunches, coming to eye level with her. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“Why do I have to go back?” Audrey sniffled, after a seemingly long silence. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Go back where, Audrey?” Leina asked quietly. “You can’t stay in this room forever-“

“Go back to being him!” Audrey suddenly screamed, falling forward as Leina caught her. “When I get dressed up I look in the mirror I see ME. I see ME and it’s the ONLY time I ever see me! I want to be me, I want to be her, I want to be Audrey but it’s just a FUCKING costume! I’m hideous, I’m fucking hideous and I have to be…him…because people expect it. I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it!”

Her sobs intensified, I glanced at Aleah and instead of seeing her usual, hard countenance I could see her beginning to break. She’d seen this before, with Jayne. Melissa shot me a sidelong glare and Courtney dropped to the floor next to Leina, doing her best to help reassure.

“Audrey,” Courtney said, placing a hand against her cheek and speaking softly. “You don’t have to go back, I promise, you can do this, you can transition, and you can be YOU. You can start today.”

“I can’t!” Audrey suddenly screamed, hurling herself away from Leina and dropping onto the floor. I cringed as I heard the sound of her impacting with the concrete floor. A dull thud. “I can’t do it, I can’t do it! Mom and Dad…and Mason…they all know Todd. They all expect HIM. I can’t be him. I can’t be here. I don’t…I don’t want to be here!”

What came next were pained screams, howls that ripped through the dressing room and filled the air with sadness. I’d never heard anyone cry like this, this was a completely new level. I could feel her sadness, I could sense it in the air, and there was nothing I could do about it. Suddenly, Leina turned and glared daggers at me.

“You want to do something useful?” She demanded. I nodded numbly. “Go get Mason right now.”