By the time I was found and becoming conscious again; someone in authority asked if it was true? He said, “There was a note that had been sent down with you in the elevator. It suggested you’re a slut, seeking guys out.”

I moaned, “You’re going by some lewd note, how about me? I bet they didn’t identify themselves, did they?”

He said, “No, but our question is should we send an officer to make sure you don’t escape the hospital.”

I went to the hospital and Officer Debra apologized for her presence, “This is archaic that they treat women as suspects instead of women victimized.”

“But I’m not really a woman.”

Officer Debra said, “While you’re going to need to think like a woman and not go out walking alone and without pepper spray. Whether you’re a woman or see yourself as a transwoman, you deserved better respect.”

It was six o’clock in the morning when my father showed up. He said, “I’m going to help you, but I need to know for sure that you weren’t out looking for something?”

I became enraged, “Get the f*** out, you’re no father of mine.” I threw the tissue box at him as it was the only thing I could reach.

And as soon as my mother said, “But…” I said, “Don’t go trying to cover for him. You’d be irate if he said that of you!”

Mom said, “He wouldn’t dare.”

Sierra spoke up about seeing me leave the room last night; “I’m sorry Rose when I saw you pick up the dollar bill I thought you were only going to the vending machines.”

I said, “It was a $10 bill and the machines wouldn’t accept it. I didn’t think, but I wasn’t looking for trouble. I had on my long robe and slippers.”

Sierra said, “Everybody that knows you, knows you wouldn’t.” I quietly reflected, “Anybody who knows me?” ‘That should have been my father.’

A doctor came in and said, “You have some bumps and bruises, otherwise physically you’re fit. Technically you can go back to your hotel and do whatever you decide. Emotionally, you need to know it will not be that easy. You may have flashbacks, mood swings, and anxiety attacks. You should strongly consider going home and resting.”

I said, “That’s not happening if I can help it.”

Mom was on the phone, I suspect talking to Dad. She asked, “What about the law authorities; is she free as far as their concerned?”

The doctor said, “She was beaten by at least three kids. The law has no say. They have our report. If they have questions they can ask us. If they want to be a help to her. They can solve this and they should be able. If they don’t, shame on them.”

Sierra asked the doctor, “Do you have any idea what they might do to catch these guys?”

The doctor said, “I’d be looking for three teenage boys with one of the schools staying there. They should either be worried or will be feeling cocky. They’re not practical jokers, they’re mean bastards with little sense of right and wrong. We have some hairs, saliva and excrements gathered and kept as evidence.”

I was already half dressed when the nurse returned with my release form, prescriptions, and she wanted to talk with me.

Sierra said, “Dad’s out front to give you a ride. But I was able to drive up near the staff entrance. Shannon called and suggested that I offer you a ride.” Not only did I accept Sierra’s invite, but suggested we not contact Mom and Dad until we’re gone. Let them be our decoy until we’re back at the hotel.

The hotel manager approached us, “We have given you a suite on the seventh floor. We’ve given the Principal and one of your coaches, a Mrs. Trullo, a room next to you and across from you. We are sorry for the danger you faced. We’ll do all that we can to make sure you are safe for the rest of your stay here. …And there will be no charges.”

“How can you do that? I thought every room in town was booked?” It was inferred that they always kept some rooms for very special customers. “Whenever you’re in our city, know that you are one of our prime customers and will be treated as such.”

Once up to our suite, Sierra and I found everything of ours already there, along with some extras. I showered as I wanted to get dressed and find our group. I was half dressed when I felt a need to shower again. Needless to say, the bruises to my midsection didn’t wash off. My sore cheek was not badly bruised and hopefully could be covered by makeup fairly well.

The second time I dressed; I did so as Dort the Destroyer. I had one satin blouse that was like a body suit. Wearing it took away any danger of my belly showing. Audrene Trullo and my two sisters’ Sierra and Sonja were with me when we went to the arena where the games were being played. We now had just over two hours before our game. Audrene had located where the Cheer Team was gathered. And I began to stretch and move about. Coach House was the first to check on me. She and all the cheerleaders hugged me.

Coach House and I had an understanding that I could sit down or leave any time I needed. She also knew it could be therapeutic for me to cheer if I could do it.

Our game was set for late afternoon. The team we were facing is very good but seeded seventh for the tournament and we were seeded second despite being the only undefeated team in the tournament. The Scotties were one of two teams with three losses.

Sierra was taking a lot of pregame pictures, especially of boys with school shirts of teams staying in our hotel.

The women Destroyers did as they often did, and started the game fairly well. They had a 6-2 lead and the ball. Kristin Hadley was shoved while she drove for her shot and was fortunate enough to miss colliding with another girl. She was furious as she felt it was a move to put her out of the game. She stepped up into the face of their big girl but didn’t lose her cool.

The officials warned both coaches, “Their better not be any reprisals or suspicious fouls to cause injuries.” The Destroyers were quickly taking a 9-2 lead and building on it through the first half. The halftime score was 37-25. Coach Daley had slowed the pace in that half so they had plenty of energy in the second half.

Therese Jeters brought word from the Navy Destroyers. Some sailors from a Destroyer docked at Philadelphia did make it to the game to root for us. The word from them and Therese was the USS Cook departed from England yesterday. There was no way they would be back even for our championship game.

Our team wasn’t trying to run up the score but once the Scotties felt desperate to get back into the game; points became easy. We scored forty-eight points in the second half and ended with an 85-57 victory.

I didn’t know she was there but soon after the game and I had time to savor the joy of it all. I was told Dr. Arnold was there and if I wanted I could meet with her. I could tell I was starting to get down, so I said, ‘Yes.’

We went to Principal Evans’ room and Sierra was with me. I was adamant that did not include my parents. Shortly into our time, Dr. Arnold asked, “Who besides your parents are you really upset with?”

I don’t know about Dr. Arnold, but I was surprised when I blurted out, “Robert! I shouldn’t have allowed boys to intimidate me. I should have protected Rose.” With that Kristyn let me cry. I spoke again, “I’m also angry that I let myself lose so much weight. I wanted to look prettier, I wasn’t thinking about my getting weaker.”

Dr. Kristyn took me back through the scenario asking, how either of those two things caused me to get hurt. While I wasn’t without mistakes, she helped me to accept the boys were the ones who decided what happened then. She asked, “You’re now safe from them, so what can you do?”

I still felt the hurt of them hitting me, as I asked myself what I could now do. “Well, I have my sisters and my team. I guess I can make sure I’m with them so I feel relatively safe.” I knew she wanted more, but I wasn’t saying what I didn’t feel.

Dr. Kristyn said, “I have some news to tell you about those boys. They were caught due to Sierra’s taking some pictures and security’s help.” She showed me a picture Sierra had taken of me with a boy in the background. “He had a team shirt of some staying in our hotel. He, his older brother and his brother’s friend were staying at the hotel. …I don’t have all the information but some time in his questioning the boy broke down and told what happened.”

“Someone said they were going to work out a deal until an Officer Debra said she was charging them with the crime. She had even called an Assistant County Attorney, encouraging her to take your case.”

Dr. Arnold tried to help me work through the issues I had especially with my father but acknowledged that was deeper seeded and would take more time than we had there.

I returned to our suite with Sierra. I took my prescription to help me sleep and another for anxiety. With little sleep the night before I was able to get asleep quickly. My biggest impediment was having to take off my makeup.

The next day was relaxing, as our team didn’t play until Thursday evening. It didn’t stop our coach for practice. Three of us had the main responsibility for preparing bags for the individual players and baskets for each of their rooms. The basketball players mostly shot baskets and heard about the team they’d be playing.

We did a lot of stretching and focused on some routines Coach House wanted us to use the last two games. The others were used to practicing things over and over, It was hard and not quite natural for me.

Audrey and I teamed up for the stretching exercises. Spreading our legs apart across from each other, Audrey saw the mark of a shoe kick up on my inner thigh. It caused her to break down and tell me of a rape she experienced two years earlier. She told of things I was sure she could not have told to me a girly-boy. With the others surrounding us, it became time to speak out. Three more girls acknowledged things that happened to them. Sharon apologized as she was not ready to tell her story.

Come noon, we had bought and were wearing T’s, ‘Speak Your Truth’. We weren’t the first at the tournament, but they seemed to multiply as the day went on. I soon received a picture from Lieutenant Fields on the Cook. Her face was not showing, but she had opened her blouse to show a similar shirt underneath.

Someone said, ‘Even under her uniform it was not proper since it was not government issued.’ Another person said, ‘The Navy didn’t even like joking about the possibility of women being harassed.’

The Cheer team and the basketball Destroyers were delighted to hear from the women on the ship. They asked how I was and they were delighted that the guys were caught and charged.

Come Wednesday evening I was delightfully surprised when my sister Shannon called and said she was already in Atlantic City. It was funny as we got together, a half-dozen big sisters and teammates were going with us to a chick flick.

When we finally got back to the rooms after having a great time. I felt a need to give added attention to Sierra. I knew Sierra sometimes felt like the odd person out when I was with Shannon, but tonight I spoke up and let there be no doubt. Sierra was to stay in the suite as long as we were there. We did all of our visiting in the common room. There was a multi-person tub that we also used together. I had not seen either sister totally in the nude since I was six or seven.

But it was more like them being up close and comfortable with me. Their empathy was heightened as they saw the marks on my body. Some were actually more noticeable than before.

We had talked to our parents earlier in the evening. Shannon insisted I needed to resolve my issues with my parents. I was caught by surprise, when she said, “Even if it isn’t favorable for them or you need to work things through. Don’t let the past haunt you. It won’t be the next couple of days, but after we get back home”

I wasn’t sure I understood and Shannon and Sierra both said, “You’ve seen Dr. Caruthers at the hospital and Dr. Arnold from the School, make use of either one or find someone else. You know Dr. Arnold has a private practice, we suggest you use that to be independent from the school.”

Sierra said, “We’ll try to make ourselves available to give you rides to your appointments.”

I said, “But I’m afraid they’ll say I’m becoming a girl. This began as punishment, but it brought something out of me. I know I should be ashamed, but I don’t feel that way.”

Sierra and Shannon must have been like-minded; they came over and hugged me. I wasn’t sure who said what but the other said, “Amen.” The first had said, “There’s no way you should feel ashamed. We agree being Dort brought a lot of good to the surface. Even Mom noted you have become a better student and learned to make friends. You always had a good imagination, but your thought to connect the high school with a destroyer was brilliant. You followed through with things, you didn’t do that before. The letters, that definitely wasn’t Robb’s thinking.”

“That was always my problem. I shied away from making friends and doubted I could accomplish anything worth something. I was always afraid to try, thinking I’d be caught and look silly. My old friend Mike Cardinal said I thought like his sister, so he teased me. That it’s not good for boys to be like a girl. Things like that haunt me.”

Shannon asked, “So is that why you’re still taking the pills?” I know my face lit up wondering how she could tell. Sierra smiled and said, “Shannon was right Rose talks in her sleep. You talked about a bra. Then we figured it was an ‘A’ size bra.”

“I did not say anything like that. You two are making things up,” I said.

Sierra said, “I bet our brother is the only boy wanting a B size cup before he stops growing.”

Shannon asked, “Are you afraid if you stop taking the pills you’ll never become a B or C girl?”

I said, “You don’t know how it feels to be so small when I’m around my sisters or the other cheerleaders.”

“So that was what you were talking about?”

Sierra said, “We could probably talk all night, but we should get to sleep you girl have a long day tomorrow.”

I didn’t wake up until 8:00 and both Sharon, a captain, and Anne my closest friend were there to make sure I was alright. Word was I wasn’t to do any of the hard stunts but to bellow out my cheers as Dort and be precise in what I did.

I asked Anne if it was okay if I used pushups in my bra, to which she only smiled. My breast form is not big and the pushup didn’t make that much of a difference.

When we went to eat an early lunch, we saw Jaylene Fox and decided to sit with her and her daughter. Jaylene’s pregnancy was now showing and she had to wait until lunchtime not to be bothered by morning sickness. Heather being more active chose me to sit with. She and I shared my eggs, bacon and American fried potatoes.

It was an interesting time as three girls and one boy came up to me as Dort and wanted my autograph. Another boy was asked to leave as he got mouthy. And with Heather there, Shannon was the first to stop him. Security was soon there.

The good news at the table was Jaylene’s from her husband and the ship. They were having fair weather so the trip back was on schedule.

Jaylene kind of giggled, “It was cute talking to him. He was uncomfortable asking about your injuries even though he knows you’re really Robb. But he wishes you well along with a number of the other guys.”

They were continuing to talk when I got up and walked with Heather over to a big fish aquarium. Soon there was a college guy showing another toddler the aquarium. I found myself thinking he was cute but happy that he already had a child and thus someone he cared for. A woman with a coach’s blouse on, came and turned to me and said, “Don’t worry the toddler’s mine.” I tried saying, I wasn’t thinking anything, but she said, “Yes, I could see it in your eyes, but it’s alright. Root for us and we’ll root for you and then we’ll both be here another day. We’re a 3-A team so we aren’t going to meet on the court.” She turned, “Travis, this is Rose, she’s one of the cheerleaders with that Destroyer team.” And then they left.

I went and got dressed as Dort and up to the floor with the rest of the cheer team. We went down to a meeting room that was big enough for doing our routines with jumps and running. We had made our team bags ahead of the tournament and were happy on how well they’ve been received by the players and coaches. But there are always things one wants to add.

It was a half-hour before the game when Trish came hurrying out of their changing area. “I doubt if you do, but I’ll ask anyway. Do you have extra tampons, shields or pads?”

“I don’t mean to embarrass anyone but I have three of each. Which do you want?” Trish took all I had, as well as my over the counter medication. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, “Thanks and please don’t tell anyone.”

When they came out for their first set warmups, they were on a side court out of sight from others. They were not at their best, but fifteen minutes huddled back in the locker room. They were altogether a different team. Hearing them on the bench I knew at least four were suffering.

They were playing a parochial team up near Phillipsburg. They were the #3 seed team. I didn’t think it was kosher as they actually recruited some of their players. But Coach Daley had used some taller boys in practices during February to replicate some of the challenges our girls would face.

I was in the locker-room when Coach gave her last pep talk before taking them out. “You up against your toughest opponent to date. This will determine whether you get to play for the State Championship. No excuses, play your best and don’t give up, and you’ll be playing for #1 tomorrow night. You are a great team, now go out and play that way.”

Once again they patted me on their way out. I grabbed my flags and followed them. The first dozen minutes of the game, it felt like everything was going against them. They were eight points down and felt like it should have been more. But they did hustle to keep themselves that close. Trish had missed three shots before she took her first three-point shot and as they say, ‘nothing but net’.

The Kristin Hadley seemed to be beaten when an opponent rushed passed her, but she in fact taped the ball on the dribble. She retrieved her own steal and took it in for an easy basket. From then on the game was back and forth they fell behind by five points once more the first half.

There was a point with five minutes to go in the first half that Coach Daley asked if the Cheer team had anything that could give an extra minute or two at the next time out. Both cheer teams were out in front of their fans the next time out and I got Sandra and Sharon to agree to challenge the other cheer team’s best. I started it as I wasn’t at my best. I did a forward flip and then a high backward flip. Their member met the challenge. Their second person went first and quickly did a forward and backward flip standing in place. Sharon took time to concentrate but seemed to have it out of sequence when she did the backward flip and then the forward flip, but she wasn’t done and did one more backward flip. Finally, Sandra and their cheerleader with the same name started at the same time. A running cartwheel, two flips and both did leg splits. The crowd cheered we clapped for each other and thanked the officials for giving us the time.

Coach thanked me when I went to sit down. Seven of the next ten shots were for three points and our team made six of them and two of three regular shots. The momentum had swung our way and we had a five-point lead going into halftime.

We were sure that our team now was in control of the game, but the third quarter was drastically different as they scored twenty-four point to our team’s twelve before. Kaylea had strained her a muscle in her leg and was now limping. Kristin Hadley was in foul trouble. An errant throw had the ball going out of bounds when Jenn came running in my direction to keep it in play by throwing it back on her way out.

Something reminded me that Coach Daley’s little girl was behind me. I reached behind me to pull young Casey up into my arms. Jen was able to throw the ball back in bounds and run two rows into the stands before she safely stopped. Her left foot would have stepped on Casey, resulting in a hurt little girl and maybe Jenn twisting her ankle or worst.

Trish had caught her throw and threw it over to Kaylea who made a basket and was fouled in doing so.

Despite trying to mount a comeback we dropped to ten points behind as the Knights played just as hard and seemed to have all the breaks. If Kaylea or Kristin either had another foul they would be out of the game. But Coach said, “We don’t have the luxury of not playing them. They and everyone else needs to play their best quarter of the year to mount a comeback and win. I believe you have it in you! Now get out there press the Knights, take their game away and we’ll do it together!”

I decided to leave my traditional spot next to the team and to go with the rest of the Cheer Team. Little Marie Trullo came running out of the court toward me. Something told me to tumble over Marie and I grabbed her as I came back up and raised her high above me. I was pumped up and handing Marie back to her mother. I did a series of backward flips. I learned after the game I had done five in a row. And on the last one came up bouncing and cheering. Somehow it excited our fans to become what we call the sixth woman on the court. The full court press caused the Knights to turn over the ball and our team was finally hitting their shots.

The Knights continued to play a great game but were worried as the lead dwindled down. As well as they played, we were only behind them by three points and Kristin Hadley had slapped a Knight pass away. She ran for the ball and we thought she had it. A referee instead called her for a foul. It meant she was out of the game and their best player got to shoot a foul shot and making it would have another shot.

Her shot hit the rim and bounced out. It was hit by a number of players as it came down. Kaylea finally dribbles it out of the pile as I saw Jenn. My voice roared “Jenn down court on left side!” Kaylea spotted her and threw the ball perfectly to her as she went for the basket.

A time-out was called by the other team and Kaylea fell to the floor near to me. “Please hurry and massage my leg.” I had done so a number of times for her after practice, but never in front of others or during a game. I was kneading one muscle, in particular, to get a knot to let go. I did so and then grabbed hold of it and then let go. Sometimes the muscle there or one in the shoulder would loosen. If it worked, Kaylea would usually give me a kiss, often on the lips. As I was ready to let go, I said, “No kiss.” She got up kissed me on the cheek and walked back to the team as the buzzer for the end of the time-out sounded.

I could tell Coach asked her, “Are you good?” The Coach calling back Madi Thoms, I knew the answer was yes. As good as Kaylea is on offense she is exceptional on defense. There was an opponent Carrie, their go too scorer, and Kaylea shooed away Jenn to play against her. Carrie tried first to force Kaylea to foul her, but Kaylea was better and by the time Carrie realized she wasn’t getting a foul called. She was pressed to take a desperation shot. She tried to lean into Kaylea but Kaylea stepped back and jumped to block Carrie’s attempt.

Our team rebounded the shot and played to take time off the clock. With five seconds left to shoot, Kaylea instead of taking a shot, passed it back to Jenn who took a 3 point shot that went in. It was now a four-point game with fifty seconds on the clock. Many teams might have pulled their players back to make sure they didn’t foul. Coach Daley told her players to stay on defense. With twenty seconds gone Carrie took a shot that bounced out and though she helped get a rebound and they did score there was now only fifteen seconds left. This time Erin Se was the person to throw the ball in and the Knights were pressing tightly.

This would have been a great time to have Kristian as she was the senior who best took the pressure. Erin with time running out threw the ball to Thyme Daley she was quickly fouled. She was good but not an experienced player. She was ready to take her first shot when their coach called their last time out. She needed one basket to give us a three-point lead and make both baskets to give us a four-point lead.

Everyone was ready for the first shot again and Thyme’s shot rolled around the rim before falling in. Her second shot hit the rim and bounced twice before bouncing away. Their player was coming down with the ball when Kaylea slapped it away and took it for a quick score. It was all over with their last desperate shot.

I thought the hard part for the day was over and we could celebrate.

What I didn’t know about was then revealed. Our Cheer Coach, Coach House was being interviewed off to the side and she was shown a copy of the Atlantic City Sentinel. No one had told me about an article about me not being a true cheerleader. Well, I knew I wasn’t the regular cheerleader. But it hurt that I was once again being made fun of and criticized this time publicly.

I guess several cheerleading coaches had gone on record saying I wouldn’t have made their team, and I was only a public relations goof that poorly got the press. The Coach was honest that I had not made the team the normal way. That, in fact, I wasn’t ever too had been a cheerleader on the court, but behind the scenes.

Most of it I knew; I was a big goof was before I was forced via punishment to be part of the Cheer Team. But I had worked hard and first became the mascot. Then my gymnastics though at first not graceful, had in the end added to the dynamics of the team. Thankfully Sandra and Sharon did as many or more gymnastic moves as me.

I guess there were a tabloid and internet sources that likened me to a gilding because my manhood was so well hidden away. I had wandered as close as ten feet when Coach House saw me and that I was tearful.

She was then asked if I would be part of their team, next year. She began to say ‘No’. She realized that nothing had been mentioned.

I spoke up, saying, “That question should have been asked of me. No, I am not a regular cheerleader, I am not a girl, but I have done my darnest to get as good as I could. I am not a freak. If I tried to be a cheerleader next year I would have to try the normal way with tryouts. I have paid my dues and I am proud of that. If it detracts from our team, I am sorry. If the Coach or School wants me to sit out tomorrow, I would.” With that, I turn and try to walk away

The reporter turns away from Coach House and walks to me asking me to turn around. She introduced herself and asked, “Should I address you as Dort or Rose? You are not the regular cheerleader, but for a boy, you have made yourself a very passable girl. Is that not highly unusual and a little odd for a high school boy? I have heard that right now you would even have more trouble talking in your regular boy voice. Is that true? You have cheered your heart out for your team like any girl cheerleader in the state.”

I try to step away, but I can’t. “I am sorry but I didn’t know of this article and I haven’t considered that I won’t be a cheerleader. It was just hard hearing others being asked about it?” Anne, Sandra, and Sharon were now surrounding me. I knew I was not alone and had their support.

Sandra spoke up, “I guess since the last of last year, she was becoming one of us. And when that finally happened I’m not sure, but I suspect since then no one has tried harder. We have gotten here as a team and we’re staying a team. For the complete journey. I guess that should be sufficient.”

The reporter said, thank you and we walked away.

I both needed to pee and to get away from the public. Sharon escorted me into a women’s room. Once done with that. I was surprised to see I still had my purse and makeup. I cleaned off what was messed up and was simple in redoing my makeup.

Coming out of the women’s restroom I was surprised to have one of the Knight’s cheerleaders meet me. “We heard someone gave you a hard time. We wanted you to know that you have our respect.”

Two other cheerleaders came up to us to give their support. One from West Warren asked us to sit with her and talk. I was again being reminded that for the most part, my experience was good and that I probably had an unusual amount of support.

Sierra and Shannon decided along with Anne and Therese, we would go to another nearby restaurant for our evening meal. There was music as we ate and it made for a relaxing dinner.

Shannon said, “Rose, I think there’s someone who wants to talk to you.” I turned in the direction she indicated and there was Travis from earlier in the day.

Travis said hello and I could not help returning a smile and saying hello back. I could tell he was nervous so I asked him to sit a moment. He hemmed and hummed before getting the nerve to say, “I was wondering if it would be okay to take a walk and talk to you?”

I said, “Actually, I am a little nervous about going off with a guy right now. But if you’d walk me to the dance area we could slow dance and talk a little.”

He offered me his hand, saying, “I was afraid you’d think that was silly coming from a guy.”

“I’m really not sure what others might make of it, but I danced with a guy named Brad who had taken to protecting me around our school. I’m afraid people are now presuming I’m more Rose.”

He said, as we turned to face each other on the dance floor, “I was hoping that. I see you as Rose. You do so well as a girl.”

We had a good time as we danced for a good while. I’d admit to being confused about having feelings for him. However, right now I just wanted to enjoy myself. I was doing that.

His sister the Shelly, women’s coach at North Mountain, was visiting with my sisters. Their team had lost in a double overtime heartbreaker. She had come to check on her brother.

Back where we had been eating I checked my messages and the Cheer team would be working late into the night. Coach House wanted our surprises for the girl basketball player and their door decorated by 6:00 a.m. I went to give Travis a hug and say thanks, but he turned it into a kiss. I kind of melted in his arms until I finally pushed away and left without looking back. I knew my sisters would want to say something.

To be continued…