CHAPTER 18
St Fagan’s is and always has been one of my favourite places. The village is nice in itself, but what I have loved since I was a girl is the attached museum. It has changed its name several times, from Welsh Folk through History to National, but it remains, at heart, the same place where one can climb into the back of a pony trap and be taken for a ride past reconstructed old buildings from all over the country. There are tea rooms on site, serving proper Welsh dishes, gardens, singing birds, everything I needed to lift my soul.

I wandered round with Mam and man, a hand-holding daisy chain of three wherever space and other people allowed, and we did justice to the cakes on offer in the Buttery rather than the Gwalia, as Mam refused to let me struggle up the stairs into the latter. It was delightful, and even more so with the company.

We sat on a bench people-watching for a while, and Blake smiled as he turned to me.

“Remember that day down by Dunraven? Bit like this, wasn’t it?”

I just smiled in turn, and squeezed his hand. Mam looked a little puzzled, so I did my best to explain.

“It was early days for us, Mam, and he drove us out to you know where, isn’t it? See it in daylight”

“And put some ghosts to rest?”

I nodded.

“It was needed. I needed it, and, well, I think we both did. My darling here showed me I was
still alive, still, don’t know the right word… Autonomous? Independent?”

Mam was nodding as well, understanding plain in her face.

“Your own person, love. Not a puppet of that pig. A life of your own to lead, yes?”

“Absolutely, Mam! And then we went down to the
Heritage place, all super-hot investigators, and got knocked right down to earth. There was another witness there, one we’d missed!”

“Court didn’t miss though, jury, did they? And you went out and brought all those others in. That was good work, and you made me and Dad proud”

I hugged her to me.

“Bridget did something about the old ghosts as well, Mam. Night before the wedding, and we’re down on the beach, and she hands me some stones, gives them names, and we throw them out as far as we can, telling them to never come back”

Mam giggled. “And I bet it wasn’t ‘go away’ she said! I like that idea, love. Pity she moved so far away, that girl. She was good for you, after, well. After”

She cocked her head, brow furrowing just a little.

“You know, your Dad and me, we did wonder about you two, whether, well, you know what I am saying, love”

“Well, we weren’t, and I am not”

I patted the new person awaiting their turn in the sun.

“As you can see! Would it have been a problem?”

Once again, she squeezed me back, her smile as broad as my own.

“Only in two ways, my love, and that is one of them, and the other is sat beside you. Blake, love, thank you. This family, we all love you. Things you have done, we can’t repay, ever. Don’t answer. Just understand that you are loved. Now, I have been thinking!”

I made a comical ‘shocked’ face, and she waved her free hand.

“No, love. Serious, I am here. That Elaine Powell, yes? Just been thinking, with you mentioning Bridget and that, and the child. How is she feeling with you being pregnant?”

Blake looked across me.

“What are you thinking, Dot? She broody?”

Mam shrugged.

“Son, one thing you need to know here, about her Dad and me: we were lucky with Di. I… Neither Mark nor me, our… We were never really born to have children easily together. That is all you need to know. Diane here was a very lucky thing, one in a billion, and we were never able to give her a sister or brother. That hurt”

I found her a tissue as she fumbled with her handbag, and of course I had to shush away her apologies. After a few seconds composing herself, she continued.

“Blake, that is why it is so easy to call you ‘son’, at least for me. You complete this family, and now you both give us someone else to love and cherish. And you show us we won’t be the last, that I didn’t leave that legacy to my daughter, being barren. And I just thought, how old is your friend? How old is her partner?”

I caught on immediately.

“Shit! Sorry, Mam. Blake, there was that cousin of hers as well, at the trial? Vicky? Mam, a lovely woman, isn’t it, and she’s got a bun in the oven as well, back then. Hell, we need to ask how she is, must have had it by now. You think Elaine might be jealous, Mam?”

“No, love. Envious. Different thing”

“Pedant! Well, we need to drop round and see how she is, and we can ask about that Vicky while we’re there. See how she reacts”

Mam was shaking her head.

“No, girl. You go round, if you do, and you see how she IS”

Right, as ever. We made our way back to the car park, and Mam took her leave of us once we home. Blake cooked a simple pasta meal that night, and after all the sleeplessness I was early to bed, and then rather late up the next morning. Mam was responsible for that, it seemed. So steady, so sharp in her observation; even when she had shown her vulnerability she had still calmed me and soothed my worries. I hoped that when the time came I could manage to be as good a mother as my own.

Blake had his laptop out as I finished breakfast, checking his mail, and I heard him grunt in obvious surprise.

“My Guardian feed, love! Look at this”

He turned the screen my way, and there, in colour, was Paula, over a blurb announcing the serialisation of her book, due to begin the following week.

“She made it then!” I nearly shouted, grinning happily. “We’ll have to give her a shout, see how she is”

“I’ve texted Deb. Let them do the celebrations first; he’s their copper, after all. Not such a bad world, aye?”

“Nope! I am seeing that more and more, love. We going to see Lainey?”

He grinned and showed me his phone, which held a message from Siân.

This pm be good.

“I thought we could pop across and do a supermarket run on the way back. Your Mam wasn’t impressed with what we had in, was she?”

“Do we need to buy seaweed, then?”

“Not THAT traditional, love!”

The weather was holding fine, which was handy as it is a long drive from our place to Carmarthen, and after Port Talbot the road goes inland quite a way, passing to the North of Swansea. Doing it in the rain would have been soul-destroying, but we had sunshine with us as Blake drove in his normal smooth, safe style as I fed him sweets when it seemed appropriate. I did unwrap them first, though.

The Powells lived up near the hospital in what looked like a recently-built detached house, an extension over the top of the adjoining garage. There was space on the driveway, and as we finished parking up Elaine came out of her front door and pulled us both into a hug.

“Careful, woman! Bit delicate, me”

She laughed, which relieved me in no small way. I had been dreading some odd coma or similar.

“You know that’s how they used to describe pregnant women, years ago? ‘In a delicate condition’, aye? Croeso i Caerfyrddin! Her indoors has got the kettle on; come in and have a seat, and I will give you what news we have”

Blake set his hands on her shoulders.

“Calm, Lainey. You’re forgetting why we’re here, aren’t you?”

She started to crumble at that, and I could see the fragility there. I slipped an arm round his waist.

“Come on, you two. Natter indoors, yeah?”

She led us into the front room, just as Siân appeared with the predicted tray, pot and cups, Blake producing the box of Thornton’s chocolates we had bought that morning. Elaine perked up a little.

“I’ll get fat, sitting round eating all this stuff!”

Her wife sniffed, which naturally brought Charlie back to mind.

“Like I care how fat you are, ah? As long as you are still here for me is all I care”

I could see it now, Mam’s words dovetailing with the conversation in the Gamekeeper with Charlie, what seemed like a lifetime ago, and it was both of them. Every so often, I would catch a look towards my bump, a little twitch or crinkle of expression. Get the chat onto other subjects, DC Sutton.

“What’s the news then, Lainey?”

“You mean about Annie?”

“Please”

She shrugged. “Mixed, girl. She hurt herself, stupid woman. Her mate’s on a ventilator, though, so it could have been worse. Start from scratch, aye?”

Blake and I nodded, and Elaine settled back with her tea

“Annie was staying over with Dennis and Kirsty. Colleagues, aye? Kirsty’s just like you at the moment, about ready to drop”

The tells were there, clear to my P, P eyes.

“So Dennis is on early turn, and Annie’s up. Bad dreams. She apparently gets some really shitty ones. Tied in with what took her off the bike. That one I think we were both at, Di? With the kid? She has a few like that, and she can’t lose them, and one of them, it was fire and kids”

I nodded sharply, patting Blake’s knee.

“I know about that one, Lainey. I visited Adam as was in hospital after that business. Not nice at all”

“Aye. So, there she is in the kitchen, nighty, slippers, and she says Den’s fridge is in a little recess, so he goes off out to drive to work, and she’s tucked just round the corner, putting the milk away or something, and they’ve got a glass front door, or they had, so when the shits set the bomb off there’s slivers of glass blown right down the hall and through the kitchen. She was bloody lucky at that”

Siân had the tissues ready for her.

“She goes running out the front, as Kirsty comes downstairs, and the car is an inferno, and this is it, this is Annie, aye? Still a copper, still pro, her worst nightmare just finished playing and there it is again, in real life? And Sar says, my sister tells me she’s SNIFFING the smoke, and it’s not there, the smell, stench of burning fucking human being…”

She took a few seconds to breathe heavily as her wife cuddled into her, wiping away the tears.

“Tells Kirsty to get a hose, aye? Soak her with cold water, keep it on her, and she’s lost her slippers, and there’s broken glass fucking EVERYWHERE”

“I saw the footprints, Lainey”

“Aye. She had her feet cut to ribbons, Di, but they’ll heal. Anyway… Dennis was outside the car, in the end. Paranoid, he is”

Blake interrupted her, “Fucking good job he was!”

“Aye indeed. Anyway, mirror and stick stuff, and he’s jumped away, and the blast has put him through a hedge and into their front garden. He’s not well, and he’s full of fragments, and Annie, well, just one too many. They found her all rolled up, foetal position. Everyone thought she’d cracked. Christ knows what Eric would have done if she had really gone, finally, for good, aye?”

I was struggling for the right way to say it, so I just let my tongue have its head.

“I couldn’t really see it, you know? I mean, he was always such a lovely man, and this is so confusing. I remember him, in a hospital bed, over a canteen table, a cheeky grin, sneaky sense of humour, and then, well, there we are at that café. He really loves her, doesn’t he? Her fiancé?”

“Eric? I really believe so. He’s a diamond. I would be hard put to think of… Anyway. She’s on bed rest while her feet heal, and there are a few low-grade burns, but apart from that she’s awake, making jokes and demanding tea and chocolate. So many people fussing around her”

“Who was it, Lainey?”

“Don’t know, girl. Rumour is that they have someone nicked already, but is all on counter-terrorist and need-to-know level. All I care about right now is that two people get better; I’ll keep the hate on the back-boiler for now”

Blake patted my knee.

2Going to change the subject here, Lainey. Lighter stuff, aye? We were wondering about your cousin”

“What? I mean, who?”

“At the Evans trial. Pregnant. Vicky?”

“Oh! Vicky and Kevin! No, she’s not pregnant any more. Had a little boy. They already have a girl, Tara”

Siân held up a finger.

“Point of order! Tara Elaine, she is. Vicky’s from my side of the family, and her hubby, Kevin, is sort of from Lainey’s side, so symmetry is preserved. Going to make next Summer hectic”

She caught my frown, grinning happily.

“Kev and Vicky have done it for a few years—oh, shut up, Blake, and wash your mind out right now! They have found a villa each year, over in Greece. We go over there together, and it’s always been a silly, fun time, ah? Little Taz is a delight, and this year it will be two little ones to spoil”

She looked across at Lainey.

“You might see how you feel next year, come with us. Three little ones would be even more fun”

The visit continued, along with the conversation, but that was the key moment, in my view. As Blake reversed out of their driveway for our journey home, I squeezed his knee.

“I think Mam was right on the money there, love. Both of them, isn’t it?”