Agave was a trendy yet casual place that seemed to specialize in locally sourced food. The menu was heavy on salads, veggie burgers and vegan fare, - very L.A. - but there was some dairy fish and local poultry, so our group of college students could indulge in items that almost tasted like junk-food if they were so inclined. While I think most of our crowd would have been happier with hot wings or burgers and fries from In & Out, they didn't grumble much about the healthy fare. I think they were just tickled that Eoin and I had invited them all out for a victory meal.

It was a boisterous time, but the staff had the good sense to seat our gang out on the terrace so we didn't disturb other patrons. The fact that a couple of celebrities were publicly entertaining guests and could easily be seen by passersby - spurring additional walk in traffic, was another brilliant improv by the staff that I had to commend.

Eoin was the ultimate gracious host, and this time I got to play sidekick. That was only fair, since this 'charity game' was originally his gig until I crashed it. I took great pains not to steal any focus from Eoin. I think Janice noticed in her fly-on-the-wall role, but what she made of my ceding the spotlight to Eoin, was unreadable to me.

Matt Cutler joined our little celebration about 15 minutes after we started. I discreetly pulled him aside and he gleefully told me how he was shopping his photos, I had suggested tweeting & instagraming some of the more mundane ones, making clear that he had much better unreleased stuff. It seems to have worked, because in addition to his old paparazzi contacts, he was getting a lot of new followers, who he dutifully followed back and started fielding Direct Message inquiries about his unpublished stuff. It appeared that a bidding war was beginning to develop, and I for one couldn't be happier. I owed him for his gracious behaviour that first day we met, and everything he did to help me track down Katherine... including the tremendous favour of keeping that juicy story under wraps for the time being. When he mentioned that he also had some choice video he could shop around to some of the gossip shows, my only reaction was 'his camera shoots video too? Well that just gives him additional markets to sell to. Good for him!' He already proved himself trustworthy and I was eager to see him get as much as he could from his exclusive 'accidental' photo op. He had the raw goods. I just helped him market them most effectively.

When Eoin expressed some concern that an 'amateur paparrazo' was shopping stuff on the open market, I told him I had a good feeling about the kid who took the pictures and to trust me. Amazingly, he did. I also told him that it would generate buzz for the film project they were scheming to get out of 'development' and into production. Apparently my argument was convincing, because soon enough Eoin was huddling with Matt, going over his footage and suggesting particular tabloids or gossip shows to approach with various items that were best suited to their place in the pop culture foodchain.

I also pulled Matt aside and asked him to sound out Eoin about 'the feud'. He instantly understood that this background info would be vital to my keeping up the Katherine pretense, and promised to be subtle yet thorough.

I don't know why, but it really pleased me to see my two guys hitting it off. Janice noticed.

“Are you playing matchmaker?” she gently teased.

I shook my head uncertainly. “Not consciously. But I must admit, it tickles me to see my two guys hitting it off.”

“Your two guys?” she raised an eyebrow. I involuntarily blushed.

“I am NOT playing matchmaker! I never set out to put those two together. I never would have imagined circumstances where they'd ever even MEET. Still, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that it warms my heart to see them hitting it off. ….I guess it's like having a gathering where your workfriends mingle with your schoolfriends and maybe old childhood friends....”

“Elsie's childhood friends...”

I frowned.

“....or schoolfriends....”

My frown turned into an outright scowl.

“I didn't have any friends growing up. Just my cousins. And they HAD to play with me because we were related. And as for school....” I blew out some air in my frustration. “The kids who 'played with me' played with me the way a cat plays with a mouse... or a dog plays with a rabbit.” I absent mindedly chewed my lip at the memory.

“Oh, you can't tell me that everyone in school hated you.”

“No. Most completely ignored me. Oh, some of the other girls were stand-offish, but not actively mean. And some of them would give me a tissue or something to help wipe the dirt off.... but it's not like any of us were actually, you know, friendly... just ...not aggressive, and discreetly helpful when I was really roughed up. But most of my interaction was with the boys.”

“...Not with other girls.”

I nodded. It wasn't a question. Just a supposition, that I confirmed with my nod. That brought a raised eyebrow.

“What?” I was confused. She had asked, I had answered.

“You said you had very little interaction with other girls.” she said quietly.

“Oh.” I blushed. “Sorry.”

“You weren't thinking.”

“Exactly.” I shrugged.

“It was just a reflex.” she said with the slightest smile.

I nodded and scowled a little at the thought. When did that start happening?

Before our little victory celebration broke up, I asked Matt to take a group photo.

Actually, TWO group photos. One was Eoin & his gang who had been in the 'guerrilla pilot' filming, which Matt forwarded to Eoin for whatever PR purposes he chose – with photographer attribution. The other was all of us, which Matt emailed to each of us.

The celebratory dinner broke up shortly after. Everyone had a great story to tell their friends and photographic proof to back up their improbable tale, Eoin had more material to use in his project pitch, Janice had a chance to see my Katherine routine firsthand, and I had an opportunity to keep Katherine in the news cycle, thanks to Matt's coverage and the appetite of the tabloid press. Actually, from what I saw, Katherine came out the bigger person – which is actually playing against the public image of the two divas involved in this media 'catfight'.

Janice dropped me at my hotel, and – after thanking me for an entertaining day – implored me to call her at my earliest convenience to set up an actual, official 'first meeting'.

I hadn't been back at my suite for five minutes before my phone chirped with near-simultaneous texts from Mikey & Dennis... titled respectively, 'Catfight!' and 'OMG! Call me ASAP!”

I replied to Mikey's text with a single, smirky emoji. Then I called Dennis.

“Oh my God girl, what did you DO? The internets are blowing up about you!” He didn't sound angry so much as agitated and perplexed.

“Well, Kirk told me that Eoin was back in town, but couldn't work because he had a charity thing to do ...which we decided to crash. Okay, I decided to crash and drag Kirk.... HEY! He never showed! He stood me UP! That unreliable... uh... I blew him off for a working brunch, so I guess I'm in no position to throw stones...”

Dennis interrupted me. “Excuse me.... can we focus here? Eoin.... Charity thing... you crashing....”

“Oh. Yeah. Kirk said it was a celebrity softball game to for 'Hollywood Cares' and I was a bit hurt that I wasn't even asked....”

“People know better than to ask Katherine....”

“Yeah, yeah.” I waved my hand dismissively as if Dennis could see me through the phone. “Well, I wanted to see Eoin and at least be at this charity game, even if I wasn't playing. ...only it turned out it wasn't exactly a charity event. Hollywood Cares was the cover, and they got a large donation for arranging the 'charity event' which was really a guerrilla shoot for this film about...”

“Yeah. Blue Balls....”

“What?!?”

“The movie about the pampered prep school kids who form a kickass minor league baseball team.... Blue Bloods... Baseball... Blue Balls.” he said matter of factly.

“You KNEW about this???”

“Well, they've been trying to get it out of turnaround for years. They had Eoin on board since last year, but now that Thornbirds had made him a kind of household name... yeah. It looks like it's close to getting made. And Binaca's been pushing the project for ages.”

“Binaca?”

Dennis laughed. “When they first met, Katherine had never met anyone named Bianca and misread her name as Binaca. When she saw how much it annoyed her, she made it permanent.”

I nodded. “So this is a real feud. Not just some PR thing...”

“Oh yeah. It's real. But it's been going on for so long I don't know how much is really hatred and how much is just habit.” he laughed.

“So who started it?” I was really curious to find out from the one person who had known Katherine long enough to have the whole story.

“Hard to say.” he sighed. “I think it was an unfortunate first impression that just continued to snowball into a full fledged feud. Binac…. Bianca thought Katherine was out to get her. Actually Katherine was just newer and fresher, so when they went for the same jobs they usually went to Katherine. And when they worked together, there was a ...tension.... well, first Katherine screwed up her name, but she initially took it well. I think she thought it was playful teasing. Actually, I think she thought Katherine was hitting on her... which I suspect actually flattered her. I had a chance to see them together a few times when I was with Katherine on a shoot, and it was obvious to everyone that they were flirting. Well, obvious to everyone...”

“..but Katherine..” I butted in. I could almost hear him nod.

“Actually, she came off as ...enigmatic...”

“..Even though she didn't know they were 'flirting'.... kind of like flirting with Siri”

Dennis laughed. “Yeah. No one ever put it that way... But yeah. That's exactly what it was like. ….well, eventually it ended up awkwardly intimate and embarrassing, At least for Bianca. I think Katherine just shrugged it off. And it was only the two of them. Katherine was very ….cryptic... about the incident, but I think Bianca...”

“She thinks Katherine punked her and is is lording it over her and skewering her about it privately every time they encounter each other.”

“Uh huh.”

“Wow. A neurotic celebrity who creates her own conflicts. What are the odds?” I laughed.

Dennis chuckled. “Yeah. So that's the genesis of the feud. It got even worse when Katherine decided to 'follow her' into movies and TV. I'm sure the success of Thornbirds really has her gnashing her teeth. Especially since she's still trying to get Blue Balls out of turnaround.”

“So she hates me.” I frowned.

“Hate is a strong word. ...Hey, was L.C. ever a Star Trek fan?”

“...not a wear-a-costume, attend-a-con type... but not unfamiliar....”

“Khan.”

“Khan?” Then I grinned as I got it. “Katherine tasks her...”

“Exactly.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Katherine is the itch that she can't scratch. The little tick she can't lick. The best she can do is put her out of her mind.... but then I show up at the ballgame...”

Dennis laughed. “You GET it! I'm not so sure Katherine ever did. She enjoyed messing with Bina... Bianca... but I don't know if she ever knew how deeply she annoyed her.”

I smiled, replaying the events of the day through the filter of what I learned.

“Well, all I know is that LC was a big fan. She seemed like a decent human being.”

“By all accounts she is. She and Katherine just got off to a bad start and everything that followed only made things worse.”

“So should I try to mend fences?”

“Oh, God NO!”

“Would Katherine be happier if this feud was laid to rest?”

“Honestly, I don't think she cares. And frankly, the feud keeps you both in the press a lot more. So NO. No fence mending!”

“OK” I said in a small voice. I'm not sure how convincing I was. My mind was still racing with ways to keep the public feud alive while privately making peace with Katherine's inadvertent nemesis.

Before ending the call, I promised Dennis I wouldn't do anything to quell the feud. He also made me promise that I wouldn't deliberately do anything to escalate it. I think even he had a little empathy for Bianca. She had accidentally crossed paths with Katherine and had no idea who or what she was dealing with. I think Dennis could see things from her side and thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. I wasn't convinced there wasn't a better path, but decided to bide my time until I was more sure.

I slept fitfully. I was mulling over 'the feud'... it even invaded my dreams. The next morning I called Eoin and asked if he had her number.

“What are you planning to do? I'm already in enough trouble with her after you crashed the filming and your confrontation blew up on social media.” He protested.

“She doesn't think YOU had anything to do with that, does she?”

Eoin sounded uncertain. “I don't think she actually believes it, but she's really really pissed off ...and I'm as good a target as any.”

“Then let me see if I can talk her down and get her off your case.”

“I don't know....” he blew out a breath. “You could just make her angrier.... especially if she finds out I gave you her number.”

“Oh, please. Why would she accuse you? Don't you think I have other ways to get her number?”

“So why ask me?”

I sighed. “Because I really have no idea how else to get her number.... but she doesn't have to know that. C'mon.... help me out here and do this. ….for your girlfriend...” I said all exaggerated like a mocking little kid would. “you can't see it but I'm batting my eyelashes and making big eyes into the phone.”

Eoin laughed. And in an exaggerated put-upon tone sighed “All riiight, I'll do it.... since you played the girrrrlfriend card.” He mimicked my way of saying it. “...but you owe me ….girlfriend.”

“Hmmph. I would have thought we were even after Atlanta.... OK. I owe you.”

Eoin snorted. “Damn right.” then he gave me her number.

“I don't care what everyone says.... you're the best boyfriend everrrr!” I chirped in an over-the-top valley girl voice.

Eoin groaned. “GOODBYE Katherine.” and hung up. But I knew he was smiling.

'Yeah, he loves me' I chortled to myself. Then got down to business. What exactly was I going to say to my nemesis?

Genuinely sorry about crashing the game. I just heard cover story. Thought I'd support 'my guy'. If I knew you were there I would have stayed ...in Europe. Still.. we both got buzz out of it. KK.

I hit send and hoped for the best. Dennis had warned me to just let it go, but I couldn't. I trusted Dennis. He and Katherine had more experience with this feud than I did, but I really felt I'd escalated things when I crashed the filming and then kind of goaded her into the 'grudge match'.

Next, I called Kirk.

“Hey. Thanks for telling me about the game yesterday. And for meeting me there to show support.”

I meant it teasingly, but reflexively I said it deadpan in my Katherine voice, and realized it sounded kind of mean. Before I could walk it back and let him know I wasn't really angry Kirk laughed.

“Just payback for brunch. Besides, I never really expected you'd go. ….If I had any idea what I was going to miss, you better believe I'd have been there for a ringside seat!”

“Well, I'm sure you didn't miss much.” I grumbled. “Seems like it was pretty well covered.”

“You can say that again. There's stuff all over the net and TV. You should have expected the press would be all over this.”

“All over what?”

“The charity game. OK, probably not the A-team, but you bring out idle celebrities for charity and you have to expect some paparazzi.”

“There was no paparazzi. It was just one guy. And it wasn't a charity game thank you very much.”

“What? Eoin said it was a charity...”

“Yeah. That was a cover story. They were stealing scenes for some new teen comedy about washed up rich kids who form a baseball team. They were getting footage to convince the studio to get it out of turnaround. There was no press. All the cameras there belonged to the film crew... and that one student who earned his paparazzo wings ...or horns.... Everyone else knew it was a cover story... except you ...and then me.”

Kirk sucked in a breath of air. “ooh... sorry.”

“Don't be. If I knew the truth, I never would have gone. But looking at all the buzz, I'm glad I did.”

“All that stuff is from just one guy?”

“Yeah. He was pretty prolific.”

“Right place, right time I guess.”

“And right guy.” I added.

“...guess so...”

“So how is the intern process coming?”

“Good, good. We're narrowing it down. I'd like you and Eoin to meet the finalists... I wish we could get everyone to meet them, but it'll be a few days before we get all the....”

“Hey.” I interrupted. “Do we have a staff photographer in the lineup?”

“Well, videographers... I figured they could..... what are you thinking?”

I could tell from his tone of voice that he already knew.

“Well, I met this really talented photographer the other day, and he IS a student... although he's from another school....”

“Is he blackmailing you?”

I laughed. “No! Absolutely NOT. I was just really impressed with him. I didn't even notice he was there, and before I knew it the net exploded with all these stills and videos. ….and I didn't see one that was unflattering.... unlike real paparazzi.”

“So you want to give this kid a job?”

“A paid internship. Yeah. He's really unobtrusive and very good, judging by what I've seen. I'd at least like you to meet him and decide for yourself. After all, this really IS your project...”

“...All based on your bright idea and convincing the powers that be to fund it.” he chided.

“So let's just say it's a team effort. And as a trusted team member, I'd like you to meet with this guy and see what you think.”

Kirk sighed, but I knew he was smiling. “Fine. I'll meet your mystery guy ….IF you can even find him.”

“How hard can it be? It's UCLA. I'll just have people ask around.”

“Or maybe you could just put up flyers. 'Starlet seeks student with camera.'” he laughed.

I laughed too. “OK. That will be 'Plan B'... let me see what my people can do.”

“Fine. Keep me posted. Can you and Eoin join me at the rehearsal studio at one to meet with intern finalists?”

“Works for me. Let me know if there's a change. Meanwhile, I'll start finding my
mystery guy.”

“Good luck to you, Nancy Drew” he laughed. I made a dismissive 'pfffft' sound and blithely hung up.

And my phone binged.

It was a text.

How did you get this number? And what the hell do you want?

I have my ways. Actually, I have minions.

Maclure!

Srsly? He's scared to death of you. He's the LAST person I'd ask.

Actually, he was the only person I'd ask. Which made him first and last.

What do you want? I'm busy.

Just to say Sorry about yesterday. It was unplanned, Still, I think it worked out for both of us. The 'feud' is getting a lot of coverage.

It's not a feud. What am I - a hillbilly?

OK OK Rivalry Grudge ...whatever you want to call it.

The press is calling it a catfight.

Whatever gets the clicks. Anyway, it's keeping us both in the spotlight.

I don't need any help from you.

Never said you did. Anyway, there seems to be a hunger for it, so maybe we could keep it up.

As if it was ever off

Apparently the feud was real. Dennis was right. I'd have to learn more about that.

OK. Right. Still, I think the public ….rivalry... could be good for business, for us both. Like the old US/USSR or Coke & Pepsi... Red vs Blue....

The machinima?

Wow. She was a nerd. That just slipped out. I accidentally outed myself as a nerd and she matched me. Something to think about later.

Yeah. Well, you get the idea. The public sparring keeps us in the news. And might earn us more clout to get our pet projects done.

I knew she was trying to get 'Blue Balls' or whatever it was called greenlit. Maybe I could sway her with that.

So we snipe publicly. What else is new?

Maybe we just do it more pointedly, or more often. Keep stirring the coals for the press.

As if they would ever go out.

Well, I think it was pretty much forgotten.

Not by me!

By the press. Still I think we could stir things up.

And what do YOU get out of this?

We BOTH get buzz. It's a win win.

Why are you doing this? Are you setting me up?

NO! I just saw the opportunity ...for both of us... and it won't work nearly as well if just one of us is sniping. ….and I feel I owe you...

Got THAT right!

I really never intended to steal focus at the game yesterday.

THAT's what you're apologizing for? Jesus!

I really had to find out what history these two had.

Yes. And it's something. So. Are you in?

….What do you have in mind?

Just let me know you're in and we'll discuss it.

If you're setting me up, so help me.....

No setup. Seriously. You have my word. As a celebrity.

That had worked to get a laugh before, but I think it only made her testier.

Give me a break!

OK. I have a few ideas. Let me flesh them out and I'll run them by you as soon as they're ready.

You better not be setting me up.

Every time you say it, I'll deny it. You really have some trust issues.

Ya THINK? I wonder why?

Whoa. Touched a nerve there.

I'll be in touch as soon as I've worked some things out.

Bye freak.

Later, bitch. ;-)

And I ordered a cappucino and spinach salad from room service while I formulated my next move.