A Friend in Need
Part 14. Reaching for the Stars

March 2013

I fed my baby and said goodbye to my gorgeous husband, as he was going to London today. Picking up a cup of coffee and Chloe we went out onto the terrace overlooking the clear blue sea off the Cornish coast (where we now live) and thought more about when we first met

July 2011
CJ was dressed in a Tuxedo and looked as if he was born to wear one, I was getting more besotted with him, as he entered the limo, he grinned at Keith and they looked like two schoolboys sharing a secret.

He complemented Jane and I on how we looked but as usual I just couldn't keep my eye's off him, the drive to the venue seemed to take no time at all and soon the two men were handing us two ladies out of the limo, when he saw the full view of my gown he leaned close and whispered "I must be the luckiest man here, I certainly have the most stunning woman on my arm", I smiled gracefully as I was well used to accepting complements (as a man I never used to get many) but now……….

The evening passed in a haze, we ate, danced and enjoyed ourselves; CJ was a wonderful dancer and I loved being held in his arms, he was so attentive to my every need.
Halfway through the evening a birthday cake arrived to our table, much to my embarrassment no wonder those two were grinning!
The band played happy birthday and everyone sang and clapped! As for me I wished the ground would open up and swallow me I was so embarrassed.

CJ the produced a gift wrapped box and gave it to me "you shouldn't have" I protested, but secretly I was pleased "I wouldn't have, but Keith here let it slip out it was your birthday so I just had to get you a little something" he retorted.

A little something! When I opened the box there was a necklace and matching pendant ear rings in what I thought were silver and aquamarine, the delicate chain had a heart shaped blue aquamarine stone about the size of my little finger nail set in silver and the earrings had a similar blue stones hanging off a what I assumed were zirconium studded flexible shafts they were gorgeous, I was speechless. (I later found out that the chain and ear rings were made of platinum and the stones were Sapphires and Diamonds and it cost a fortune)

"CJ" I stammered "I cannot accept these they are beautiful but you really shouldn't have" He looked crest fallen "why can't you accept them, they match your beautiful blue eyes perfectly and anyhow there's no one else they would suit, so please accept them".

Jane said "Christina, you must accept them as they were bought with you in mind by someone who I think feels something for you" this time it was CJ's turn to look uncomfortable.

So I relented and just had to put them on so Jane and I went to the ladies room and she fastened the necklace around my neck while I put the earrings in my ears, the pendant ear rings came to my jaw bone, and the blue of the aquamarine did really bring out the blue of my eyes.
Jane commented "they really suit you, you know the stones really look like sapphires, they have such a perfect blue colour and bring out your eye's perfectly" I looked at her in the mirror "Sapphires? No they can't be surely they are aquamarines, if they were sapphires they would have cost a fortune!"
Jane looked at me and simply said "Chrissie, I think he really feels deeply about you, think about it"

We left the ladies and walked back to our table, I went up to CJ kissed him deeply and simply said, "thank you so much, they are beautiful". He looked at me and whispered, "They really do match your eye's perfectly"

The night passed way too quickly, I mainly danced with CJ, wondering what he would be like in bed, and as usual my Tush was sending messaged to my nipples!

I loved dancing in my gorgeous feminine body; I enjoyed the way my breasts pressed into his manly body. I occasionally compared my life as a man to the new life I now lead as a desirable woman.

Sadly the night ended, and as the party broke up we went for our limousine, I snuggled into CJ's strong arms relishing the feeling of vulnerability I had, as my dress was a fishtailed little number I had to use one hand to hold up the train to stop it getting too dirty, this made me ungainly and my breast was pushing into CJ more than I should have, as he handed me into the limo I noticed a delicious bulge in his trousers.

It would appear that he was quite well endowed. The drive back to the house was uneventful until we were about a quarter of a mile from home when there was an almighty CLUNK from somewhere inside the engine and the limo rolled to a stop in a cloud of smoke, we hurriedly got out, us girls stood to one side while the men discussed what was wrong and what they could do.

Finally I had had enough of this debate and snapped "look you guys, that came from the transmission and from the sound of it and the amount of smoke its terminal" All three of them looked at me in surprise especially the driver; Keith groaned and explained "this little feminine woman is a total petrol head, the only reason she is not under the bonnet is that she'd break a nail or get those pretty little hands dirty!"

I threw Keith a glare that would have killed an oxen at 30 yards!

The guys sensed that Jane and I were pissed off, its alright for them in a suit but us girls were exposed to the cold evening air to be honest our nipples stood out like organ stops.
As we were only a couple of hundred yards from the gates to the house we walked, leaving the driver to arrange pick up for his limo.

CJ slipped off his jacket and slipped it around my shoulders I smiled my thanks to his and happily snuggled into his jacket with his arm around my waist.
His man smell assailed my senses setting off the line of communication between my now moistening Tush and my nipples, now my nipples stood out for a different reason!
It was now two in the morning and we just could not get a Taxi to come and pick CJ up, none of us could drive as we had too much to drink, so it was arranged for CJ to sleep in the lounge on the settee, while Keith and CJ went upstairs to find something better for CJ to sleep in than a suit.
Jane squeezed my arm and whispered excitedly "now's your chance to grab a bit of that gorgeous body, your bed would be far more comfortable for the poor man than the settee".

I was making two Gin and Tonics and nearly spilled them "JANE" I squealed "what are you saying; I'm not the type of girl who takes a man to bed after a few days".

Jane grinned at me, "and how many times have you been out with him" she asked I thought "erm counting today about eight or nine" I had a feeling where this conversation was headed.
"Well for a normal period of dating that is about three months of dates" she declared, "more than enough time for a relationship to deepen, and you know you want to!"

Right at this time the door opened and Keith and CJ appeared CJ more suitably attired in a tracksuit, Jane smiled at her husband and said, "let's go darling; Christina's just made a Gin and tonic for herself and CJ, looks like we are not invited."
Keith was about to speak when Jane dragged him through the door leaving me with two glasses of G & T; CJ smiled and muttered "your friend is about as subtle as a sledge hammer."

I smiled at him nodding my head, anyhow it would be a shame to waste a good drink" I said as I handed him the glass, we sat on the settee and I snuggled into his arms, we gently kissed and shivers coursed through my body, my already moist Tush became moister and started to make me feel things a nice girl should not feel.

As the kissing became more passionate I began to make excuses for feeling the way I did, we were mature people that knew what they were doing, after all I was not a virgin, he was not forcing me into anything, I wanted him to take me to bed – that last thought did it, I moved my lips away from his and murmured "I have a nice bed upstairs, it will be far more comfortable than here to sleep!"

He looked at me with those gorgeous eyes that I absolutely drown in; he stroked my hair, kissing my forehead "are you absolutely sure Christina" I ran my fingers down his cheek, feeling the light covering of stubble and replied "well not really but then again yes, anyhow I have a spare new toothbrush you can use in the morning, it'll save you going upstairs to get it" I finished up grinning at him as I said this.

He beamed back at me and said "well in that case I cannot refuse, as long as I am not forcing you into something you may regret".
I looked deep into his eyes and whispered, "I may regret it if you don't come with me".

We kissed deeply and he got up held out his hand to me and helped me up, we left the drinks and I lead him upstairs, my heart pounding.

I opened the door to my bedroom and gave a little squeal as he picked me up and carried me inside, my arms clung around his neck, head nestled into his shoulder, this was another thing I loved about m new body was the delicate fragile impression it gave, but I really loved been picked up.

He nudged the door closed and we came together his arms around my waist mine clasped around his neck, I pressed my soft lithe feminine body against him, feeling his hard masculine muscular body respond.

I let out a sigh of utter delight as his hands roamed around my body, caressing my bum hips the bare skin where my dress left my back exposed. I was in heaven! In return I ran my fingers through his hair, pressed my body tight into his and wiggled my hips feeling the hard response this caused.

It was going to happen, OH GOD he was going to make love to me, as well as the passion leaving me breathless the thought that he was going to make love to me also left me breathless.
I broke away from kissing him and stared at him, he did nothing except stare back, he whispered, "honest as much as I'm attracted to you, I want to know from your own lips that you want this as much as I do".

I continued to stare at him then said "let's sit on the bed and talk", he nodded and we sat down, I took a deep breath I was going to tell him everything – nearly everything, I'd leave out the part where I used to be a man!

I lowered my head, marshalled my thoughts and began, "first of all I do want to do this, but I don’t want you to think that I would jump into bed with any man after just a few days, because I most certainly don’t! It's just that......... Well I feel that there is something between us, something fundamental and hard to deny".

I looked up into his eve's and he nodded I took a deep breath and continued "I have thought of nothing else since we met, I've tried to make excuses but the feeling is just too strong, I think we are both old enough to know what we are doing, speaking of age, how old are you, and how old do you think I am?" He murmured "does age make a difference?" "YES" I snapped it does.

He looked at me and said "well in that case I'm 35 and you, well you look about 30, but you are actually 49, but I still don't see what age has got to do with it?"

I sobbed "I'm older than you, do you want to be going out with an old woman" He really laughed at this, took my hand and walked me to the mirror.

"Christina, just look at yourself" he told me, "you are a stunning woman who looks half her age, in no way are you an old woman, you are a very desirable woman.”
I looked at him through my tears and said, "even knowing my age you still want to sleep with me?"
He took me back to the bed and sat me down, "Christina" he whispered, "I want nothing more than to sleep with you, but while we are being honest, I have something to tell you that may make you not want to sleep with ME"

I sat there in terror, what was he about to tell me, was he married, was he ill what was so bad that I may not want to sleep with him.
He paced the room, while I sat there in my satin evening gown, nervously twisting a tissue between my fingers.
He took a deep breath and began " You have to believe me, I never meant this to happen, when I was invited to this week I thought I may meet you, but I never expected to, I thought the area was large enough to miss you."

I looked up in puzzlement wondering what he meant. He continued, the visit was arranged ages ago back in February, let me ask you a question?"

I nodded and he carried on "How do you think I knew your age?"

I thought for a second then replied, "Keith told you when you were in London".
He smiled sadly at me and shook his head then quietly said "Christina I used to be you"!!!

I was dumbfounded, my world collapsed, all I could do was look at him in shock, finally I gathered my wits and managed to stammer "y, y, you used to be me?" he nodded sadly.

I continued, "Oh my GOD, you mean you planned all this". He quickly interrupted me "No, no, I was hoping and praying not to meet you in case we liked each other and I hurt you again, please, please believe me I never meant this to happen ----- for GOD'S SAKE I LOVE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN"

I just stood there, "Clive" I said softly "I need some time to think". "Sure" he said making for the door; I'll head downstairs. I nodded unable to trust myself to speak.

As the door closed I threw myself on the bed sobbing my heart out how could he do this to me, how could he trap me like this, all these thoughts of anger passed through my mind, as I sobbed into my pillow, soon the pillow was quite moist from crying, and a more rational sensible Christina began to emerge.

He could have slept with me and never told me the truth, I considered this thought for a while, he did say he hoped that he would not see me, in case this happened, did I feel for him, I pondered this and decided YES I did feel a lot for him.

The spark was there with CJ; whereas with Tony the spark just wasn't, being truthful with myself the spark was a raging fire, if (and I stressed to myself the if) we did get together he would never hurt me as he knows what its like to be hurt as a woman hurts.

Looking at the clock it was now four in the morning, I had gone from love to hate and back to love in the last few hours.

I looked in the mirror and saw that I was a wreck, eye shadow and mascara everywhere,
I undid my gown as it slipped to the floor, I bobbed down and picked it up and hung it up the female in me coming to the fore.
I stripped off and took a serious look at my body, loving every curve, they into the bathroom to complete my night-time routine, once this was done I was feeling better and I knew what I had to do.
I slipped into a knee length satin nightdress and sat on the bed, only the bed side lamp was on and the dawn was breaking,
I slipped on my light satin robe and mules; taking a a deep breath I opened my bedroom door heading downstairs to talk to him.

As I stood outside the lounge I hesitated then opened the door, CJ was sat on the settee head in hands sobbing, he looked up saw it was me and his face lit up, but the sight of him feeling as bad as me set me off crying again.

I took swift paces across to him and flung myself at him feeling his strong arms around me, we both sobbed for a while before I looked up into his gorgeous eyes and stupidly said "your eye's are all red". (As if mine wasn't)

He looked at me, clutched me to his chest and gasped "Christina, Christina I'm so sorry I have hurt you, it's the very last thing I wanted to do I'm so, so sorry I never planned on this happening, you have to believe me I never planned on this at all; I certainly never planned on the feeling of love when I was introduced to you last Saturday, Christ I have fallen in love with you twice, I really hope and pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

I looked into his eyes so red and tearful and full of remorse and regret and quietly said, come to bed and we'll talk about it in the morning – oh and by the way you can have the side of the bed with the wet pillow, I took his hand and lead him upstairs.

It was strange when we got to the bed room, I gave him my spare tooth brush and went to use the toilet, he waited until I finished then went in and got ready for bed, by now it was five in the morning, I lay in bed (on the dry pillow), when he came in he laid in the bed away from me.

In a small voice I said "you can get closer if you want" no reply, so muttering "Stupid stubborn man" I slid across the bed and spooned up to him.

By his reaction you would think I had zapped him with a Taser!

By now I was starting to get pissed off "Clive" I snapped, "we must talk, either you love me or you don't, the way you have just reacted it seems to me you don't want me to touch you.
Christ you know I love to cuddle up in bed, yet you are shunning me". Bloody female hormones I thought as I started to feel tears brimming.

He laid on his back, looking gravely at me he said, "I'm sorry Christina, its just that I don't trust myself having you so close".
That was it I snapped, "YOU don't trust YOURSELF? Don't I have and say at all! If I don't want to make love I'll knee you in the bollocks, Christ Almighty all I wanted was a soothing cuddle, the man I am totally in love with has just dropped the biggest bombshell he could have. All I need is a bloody cuddle" By now I was truly crying, sobbing I was devastated, he didn't want to touch me, he hated me, I just carried on sobbing. I felt the bed move and then his arm went around me; I flung him off snarling "don't force yourself to touch me if you can't stand it".

Then I heard him chuckle I looked at him in amazement "what' so bloody funny" I snapped.
Still chuckling he said "I'd forgotten what a hellcat you can be when roused, reminds me of a small blond woman with a carving knife in her hand threatening to gut a failed rapist and blood everywhere!”

It took me a second to realise what he was on about but it broke the spell and calmed me down.
I moved close to him, allowed him to put his arm around me and cuddled up to him. "I still don't understand how you came to be here,” I murmured as I settled into his arms, he gave a deep sigh saying, "it’s a long story,; well no that’s not quite right, it’s quite a short story".

Still snuggling into him I said quietly we have the rest of the night, as I don’t think we are going to sleep now, its too late".
He absently stroked my hair and kissed me on my head, well he said if you are certain, I'll tell you the story of my last seven months and how I got to be here.

I thought to myself, this should be really interesting as I snuggled into him enjoying his special man scent.

"You will remember when I left in the New Year," he started, I nodded, he carried on and I phoned you to tell you off for crying, even though I felt crap about going I knew that we just didn't have a future as Tony and Christina, then I switched my phone off and removed the SIM card so you couldn't get hold of me. I nodded and murmured "Yes I remember that day well" So he carried on recounting what happened to him.

March 2013

As I sat in the cool spring sunshine sipping my coffee and watching my daughter sleeping in her push chair I thought about that day which changed, certainly my life and Clive's too and eventually created life in my womb.