The Future Is Unscientific

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Of Heroes And Villains

The Future Is Unscientific

Who needs friends when you have science? Amelia doesn't. And the next person who suggests otherwise is getting thrown into a vat of toxic acid.

Fanart by the talented Ian Samson, creator of City of Reality and artist of The Wotch



It was a dark and stormy night.

This was because Amelia had turned on her weather machine. She felt that it was only right and proper that the world around her should bend to her whims and provide her with the appropriate mood lighting on demand.

“Yes…” she whispered, her voice growing in volume. “Yes! Rise, my minion! Rise!

Lightning struck outside her lair, illuminating the hall in stark black and white contrast while Amelia started laughing. It was the Evil Laughter Number 3, Triumphant Megalomania. She’d practiced it since she was 11.

The body on the slab twitched and spasmed as it was filled with life. Slowly the mechanical abomination made of flesh and metal rose, its vaguely humanoid head swiveling toward her, its eyes so very empty.

“Foolish Mortal,” boomed a terrifying voice, gnawing away the sanity of lesser meat bags. “Thou Hast Played Right Into Our Hands, For Now That We Have This Strong And Capable Body, We Shall Devour First You And Then This Wretched Place You Call A Worl–“

Amelia activated the shock collar.

The artificial lifeform screamed, a multitude of voice singing a cadence of pain. And infinite knowledge from beyond the void. But mostly pain.

“Talk back to me again and I will take away your opposable thumbs, Sir Fluffington.”

The cyborg sulked.

“We Are Leviathan, Devourer Of Suns, The Zero Point Pathogen. Our Thoughts Have Seeped Into The Very Fabric Of The Cosmos And Stars Shudder At Our Name, For We Are Vast And Terrible.” It paused, and then continued in a slight whine. “And No Longer Does Our Body Have The Texture One Might Describe As Fluffy. We Wish For A More Dignified Name.”

“No.”

“But…”

“I said no. Keep arguing and I’m not giving you this.”

The Cyborg was silent for a long moment. Then it grudgingly reached for the carrot Amelia was holding out.


***



Somewhere in Paragon, a woman was sitting on a roof, watching the overcast sky whilst happily biting into an apple.

The sky had been a beautiful blue just a few minutes ago, but now dark clouds were gathering for a sudden thunderstorm. It was most unnatural.

And Riora smiled, knowing what it meant. She was ready, the foundation to their relationship in place. Riora had waited for a long time and now, at last, they would be reunited. Or united. She couldn’t really keep track of what was past and what was future.

But today was Important, she knew that.

Not only was it an Important day, it was also a Great day, because today she was mostly lucid.

Last week, there had been silence in her head. For almost half an hour it had been only her and her thoughts and her memories.

It had been wonderful. Like a nap. And now she was refreshed and ready to go for at least another century.

She took one last bite from her apple, savoring its sweet taste, then swung her legs back onto the ledge, standing up. She paused, aiming the apple core at a 43° angle, and threw it. Then lightning struck where she stood, leaving nothing but a smoking crater.


***



Timothy was having the crappiest day of his life.

He glumly adjusted his backpack as he made his way home from school, trying hard not to think about the humiliation he’d suffered today. His eyes were firmly on his feet, not seeing the road in front of him, navigating the streets of Paragon on instinct.

Something hit the back of his head and he stopped in his tracks, reaching up to touch the dull pain throbbing in his skull. His short hair was wet with a sticky substance and he drew his hand back, taking a tentative sniff.

It smelled sweet.

Great, not only did Jennifer laugh in front of everybody when he asked her out, now someone was throwing things at his head. He growled low in his throat and shifted his weight to resume his walk – only for a massive energy beam to tear up the sidewalk in front of him.

“Behold, you fools. I am Fusion Flare, and I have acquired the Millenium Artifact, increasing my power a hundredfold! Tremble before my–“

He never got to finish his speech. A hero had already tackled him.

And Timothy realized that had he kept walking, that beam would have hit him.

Not far from him lay a half-eaten apple.


***



Amelia was happy.

She was.

Her experiment had been a complete success.

This frown that would not go away meant nothing. Nor did that ache in her chest.

She was most definitely not missing her old minion.

Sir Fluffington was clearly superior, anyway.

There was a boom, and the lights of her base flickered out as lightning sizzled up and down the walls, coalescing in the middle of the room. Amelia tensed and immediately snapped up her arm, aiming her integrated laser cannon.

A woman casually stepped out of the lightning, her long white hair swaying in a nonexistent breeze. She tilted her head, pale blue eyes piercing Amelia who shivered uncomfortably.

There was something in those eyes. The woman’s face was young, yet they looked… old. Like they had seen things that were not meant to be seen.

A little like Amelia’s eyes.

And then the woman smiled brightly and bounded up to her like an eager puppy, throwing her arms around Amelia.

“It’s so good to see you!” she chirped happily.

The mad scientist froze.

She had 294 contingency plans anticipating and dealing with every possible breach of her lair.

This scenario was not in the plans. Hugs… were not part of her plans.

Amelia angrily shoved the woman back and aimed her laser cannon point blank at her face.

The woman just smiled.

“Neat! Should check the focus matrix though, or it’s gonna malfunction down the line.”

A muscle in Amelia’s jaw ticked.

“My equipment does not malfunction.”

The woman’s eyes glazed over and she stared off into space for a long moment. Then she blinked and smiled. “Yes, it will.”

“I am going to shoot you now. Commence prayers to your chosen deity.”

Her smile widened.

“I am a deity.”

And then she casually strolled away, looking around the lair.

Amelia charged her laser beam.

It sputtered out.

“Told you it was going to malfunction.”

The woman laughed as Amelia activated the rocket launcher on her other arm, taking aim once more.

“Oh, do calm down. That’s not what I’m here for.”

“How did you get past my base defenses?”

“I told you, I am a goddess,” she replied smugly.

“No such thing. There are only metahumans strong enough to be mistaken for gods by primitive idiots.”

“Quite so,” the woman agreed readily, hopping to sit on a computer dashboard and crossing her legs. “Although you’d be surprised by what is out there as far as true divinity goes. Still, it’s sad. With so many metahumans around, we’re not special anymore. People used to worship me. Now they don’t blink twice when I ride the lightning.”

“Worship you?” Amelia repeated flatly. “How–“

“…old am I? Old, Amelia. I am very old.” She leaned forward and there was a sudden intensity on her face. “And I have waited for this day. Waited until you had experienced what you needed to experience to become the person you are today.”

“You know. I don’t think I’ve ever had opportunity to say this to someone else instead of having it said to me, but…” Amelia paused for dramatic effect. “Are you mad?”

The woman laughed and clapped in delight.

“Very much so. See! We understand each other.”

And for the first time in Amelia’s life, she had not the slightest idea what was going on.

The woman stood up, and then swept into a low bow. “Allow me to introduce myself.

“I am Riora, the Everknowing, Oracle Without Equal, once worshipped in the Temple of Delphi. I saw the Fall of Pompeii before it happened, and Kings and Emperors listened raptly to my sage advice until my whispers broke apart the Roman Empire. I am ancient. I have steered history. And I will steer the future, for I have seen it.

“Amelia, I have seen your future.”

She leaned forward, pale eyes shining with intensity.

“And do you know what it is I saw?”

Amelia slowly shook her head.

“I saw you conquer.”

Riora grinned.

“I saw my best friend in the entire world.”


Author's note: Thus concludes the series of one-shots! Think of this as "Of Heroes And Villains 1.5". Tomorrow I will post the prologue to the sequel proper ^_^

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Comments

Hahaha

Oh wow, our stories literally went up at the same minute tonight.

I'm still waiting to read more about Amelia >:P

Patience

Is a virtue, my dear <3 Amelia's time to shine is coming. If [spoiler] doesn't murder her for her boyfriend first, anyway.

I did not

realize just how much this 1.5 teases. Riora has her fingers in a whole lot of pies including apples like she threw at Tim. I am wondering if he has or will show up again. After all Riora does nothing without a reason even if most people will never figure them out.

hugs
Grover

Does Joe England know about this?

“Talk back to me again and I will take away your opposable thumbs, Sir Fluffington.”

The cyborg sulked.

“We Are Leviathan, Devourer Of Suns, The Zero Point Pathogen. Our Thoughts Have Seeped Into The Very Fabric Of The Cosmos And Stars Shudder At Our Name, For We Are Vast And Terrible.” It paused, and then continued in a slight whine. “And No Longer Does Our Body Have The Texture One Might Describe As Fluffy. We Wish For A More Dignified Name.”

“No.”

“But…”

“I said no. Keep arguing and I’m not giving you this.”

The Cyborg was silent for a long moment. Then it grudgingly reached for the carrot Amelia was holding out.

Oh, how I love these two. I

Oh, how I love these two. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Bhhwahahahahahahahaha!!

BWAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

*stock super villain laugh 2*

Hmm

Tas's picture

I see the beginnings of a... well maybe not a beautiful friendship, but at least a very amusing acquaintance-ship.

-Tas