The life of a physicist can be troubling, at times, as the universe doesn't always play well with others.

But even the universe can't break a true promise.

A week later Tedd and Carol left for the funeral. I fell asleep on the couch that night in Brett's arms.

The next morning I looked back at the week realizing just how much stuff can be different with a different perspective. From my own memories Carol never once suspected me of cheating, so having her bring those accusations along to me in my current form was a bit of a shock. It was one thing among many showing just how messed up thinking about this whole pile of screwed up time was.

I started making calls around for my next big adventure getaway for the group. Learning years ago that I could do all these things was a great liberator for me, letting me know that it was possible to get out and experience life, to try and push the limits.

I got off the phone after arranging hotel rooms at an airport near our next bit of fun, and sat down to have breakfast. Brett walks into the room and grabs a cup of coffee.

He looks up at me and cocks his head to the side. "So, I've been thinking about out little device, from what you've told me it's only around a cubic foot or 2, and light enough that it can be handled by one person with some effort. Just how damaging could it be?"

I sigh. "Think suitcase nuke. Think bigger. We're dealing with technology that could do anything between wiping out a city block to making Mars the third planet. If I had to guess, purely guess based on what I know of the science around it, the best I could limit it is between the Nagasaki event and Tsar Bomba. Or it could just as easily fizzle and make a pretty light show and do nothing."

He thought about that for a second. "But... I get the sense you've seen this device in action."

I look down, and put my fork down, no longer hungry.

"Look, Tara, you don't have to tell me the details, just give me a rough idea."

I looked up at him. I think he sees something in my eyes.

"Tara..."

"Brett... if... if I told you... you'd try to stop me from doing what I need to do. It's dangerous."

"Damned straight I'd try to stop you. You're my best friend, I'd give my life for you!"

I sniffle a little at that.

Okay, I'm pretty sure you can actually call it crying.

"And that's why I can't tell you Brett."

He sits down for silently for a few minutes. He's thinking, really thinking.

He looks at me again. "Shit.... you mean..."

I tilt my head back and stare at the ceiling, trying to think of something to say. I know he's figured it out.

He speaks up again. "Which one of... wait. No. Don't. I already know what you're going to say. A time like this, you'd find a bit of levity through a quote. If I had to guess, it'd be 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.'"

"Something like that, yeah."

He walks over and hugs me. "I never really thought about how hard this has to be on you. There has to be some heavy stuff on your mind."

I sort of snuggle into his embrace. "Can you imagine waking up in the morning knowing exactly when some of the people you are going to see that day are going to die?"

"Do you mean... all at once?"

I rest my head on his shoulder. "No, but some of the people I see will die in weeks, or in a year or two, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"What do you mean?"

I sigh. "As far as I can see, time is looped or at least it seems to bend over itself a bit here. Events need to play out in certain ways so I know they don't get worse. And considering the nature of the problem it could be far far worse. I constantly have to hope that what I've done already hasn't done so. But it feels right."

Brett sighed. "This all sounds so complicated. Are timelines so fragile? Is it really a line?"

"I thought I told you, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... timey wimey... stuff." I giggled.

"Oh great, more Doctor Who!" He chided.

I took a deep breath. "Look at it this way. The first time through, I was in a totally different perspective, most of the stuff I'm doing, I'm doing with no guidance at all. I'm constantly hoping that what I do is the right thing and that I don't accidentally do something to make things worse than they will be."

He blinked at that. "But you could also make things better."

"But I have no way of knowing how my actions will impact events. Even talking to you now could lead to better or worse results."

Brett remained quiet.

I decided something right there, however. "Brett, there's one thing I do know. I don't want to be alone tonight."

***

A couple of weeks later we're all in a plane strapped to our guides. It's rather... intimate how close you are in the harness.

After a bit of that, we're falling, thousands of feet in the air plummeting down towards the ground. The rush of the air is so loud you can't hear yourself think, which is just fine because the only thing running through your head is this mixture of fear and pleasure that numbs you to everything else. And the beauty of the earth from so high above, rushing up to greet you. Then the parachute opens and you're gracefully (or not so gracefully on Brett's part) gliding towards the earth for a soft landing.

As we're riding back to the airport to gather our gear, Tedd smiles back at me. "I still don't know how you come up with these outings but that was amazing. I've been in plenty of planes but I've never jumped out of one, seen the ground coming up to meet me."

"Just wait 'til you do it solo!"

Carol laughed. "I don't think I've ever had that much fun! That was quite a rush."

"At least you guys landed on your feet. We went tumbling when we hit the ground." Brett admitted.

"See, Brett agrees, we need more practice." I smiled.

Yep, we tandem jumped from an airplane. I'd done this several times before but it's not like I can explain to someone how I know it all already. But I still enjoyed it. It may seem weird, but I finally understood why Tara had, and I am now, done these things. It's not about the thrill-seeking, it's about losing your fear of the unknown, about learning that new experiences can be worth the risk. Why live if you're unwilling to go the distance to achieve what you want from life.

On our way home we stopped and had a nice meal. Tedd was a bit apprehensive about stopping to eat at a truck stop until I told him that I could tell the food was excellent there.

Tedd gave me a sidelong look. "And just how can you tell?"

"See how many trucks are here?" I replied.

"Yeah, there's a lot of them, so what?" He asked.

I smiled. "Truckers know where the good food is. There are another 3 truck stops within 5 miles of here, yet this place is busy. It's worth their time to travel here."

"Okay, that makes sense, but surely a place like this is just going to have easy meals like burgers or subs or something like that." Tedd said.

"Actually, most truck stops like this are good diners. Big breakfasts, hearty lunches, appetizing dinners. These drivers have been on the road for many hours, when they stop they tend to want to stop for good reason and stay relaxed for a bit. A good steak dinner can make this leg of a cross-country trip worth it."

He nodded. "Well, I suppose that makes sense."

We pulled in and had an excellent meal. Tedd had a big steak while Brett and I had fish. Carol had chicken. Then I showed them another secret to a place like this.

I got Carol's attention and waved towards the register. "Do you see how there's a large stack of boxes on top of the pie display area?"

Carol nodded.

"That means this place probably has excellent pie. Enough that these truckers and the others that dine here are willing to buy whole pies. They sell a lot of them so they have to keep a good supply of boxes on hand."

"And how do you know all this stuff?" Carol asked.

"I had all of this explained to me years ago by a good friend."

Carol seemed to catch the look in my eyes and understood.

Sated and with a couple of pies, we finished our journey home. Brett sat on the couch and let out an exhausted sigh.

"I'm beat. Think the adrenaline drained me a bit."

I nodded. "It does tire you a bit faster. Gives you the energy when you need it, but costs later."

He looked at me. "So, how do you know all that stuff about truck stops?"

I gave a small yawn. "I remembered it."

He raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. "Tedd listened to me talk about it."

He sat and thought about that for a minute. "Wait... that means..."

"Yep. I taught myself all about that stuff so I could tell myself later."

He laughed. "This whole thing gets confusing after awhile."

I yawned again. "If, to quote the Matrix, you want to 'bake your noodle', ask yourself this: If I learned what I needed to know from myself, where did it come from the first time?"

He yawned. "Spooky."

"Now, I think it's time we went to bed."

***

Brett spoke while getting his morning coffee. "So, I've been meaning to ask, how did you first realize you were in the past?"

"Looking out the window in the hospital bed. I saw the Brightman building, and by that point it had already been destroyed years ago."

"And why did you then decide to call me?"

I shrugged. "For one, we've known each other for many years. So I thought I might be able to convince you I was me. Also, well... "

He sensed my hesitation. "What is it?"

I sighed. "This is going to sound incredibly cheesy given how things have gone since then, but... you were the first person to enter my mind other than my wife. I had spent my time since waking up in the hospital freaked by the idea I was in a different body and that I was in the past, and you were the first person other than myself and Carol I thought of."

"Why didn't you call Carol?"

"And say what? I had no idea how I would have been able to convince her I was telling the truth and not have her think I was crazy. Looking back that's probably not true... but I was a bit on edge at the time."

He sat down with his coffee and took a sip.

I blushed. "Also, I figured if I was crazy, that the time travel and the body were just a delusion, you'd be there to help me."

He smiled. "Well, that's probably true."

I looked over at him and smiled back. "Though, I can say that I'm sorta happy now that it isn't a delusion. There's been some ups and downs, sure, but I'm starting to enjoy being... me."

Brett got up, came around the table and gave me a hug. He then took my chin in his hand and turned my face toward him. "I'm glad to hear that. There are times since you showed up when I've been very worried about you. I understand that there are sensitive subjects, but I just hate seeing you in pain without having some way to try to ease it."

I melt a little inside hearing him show such concern.

***

A couple of weeks later, in a warehouse in the industrial area of the city, a large amount of machinery was gathered, the soft hum of electronics filled the air.

Two people, a man and a woman, argue over why they can't get any results with the small cube sitting in the middle of the equipment.

"I think we need more power, there simply isn't enough here to get any form of stable reaction from the device."