Before we pulled away an officer hands a card through the window. It's a driver’s license marked ‘Identification only’...
There is my picture and name Ashley Phoenix Riley. I find a wallet with a place for my license...
A place for a phone with an I.O.U for a new phone...
Bridgette leaned over and gave me one of those women kisses on the cheek, saying “Welcome to Oz Sweetie.”

 

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Image Credit: Picture purchased and licensed for use from

123rf.com. The model(s) in this image is in / and are no way connected with this story nor supports nor conveys the issues and situations brought up within the story. The model(s) use is solely used for the representation of looks of the main character(s) of this particular story. ~Sephrena

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Chapter 2
 
“Ashley, I am a bit surprised that you are here, but I hope you are ready for a big change in your life girl,” Bridgette said. “I have a friend Cathy who will help us in your transformation to becoming a pretty girl who's ready to move on.”

I say, “Miss. Riley, no disrespect, but I think, I'll wear your patience out pretty fast. When I do, the last thing I’m going to want is to be a pretty boy on the streets. Being on the streets is hard enough, having to be a pretty girl could make it worse than prison.”

“Some baggy clothes for a heavier girl look is something I could change over to more easily. It would be better for both of us.”

Miss Riley was quiet during the rest of our trip to Cathy’s. We're no sooner in Cathy’s apartment and she plunked me down in a seat and I knew to listen. “Now Miss. Ashley Riley, you listen to me I did not give you the name ‘Riley’ lightly. If you intended not to go through with this you picked the wrong person. You already made a decision and have entrusted yourself to me.”

“If you want to try running, you might as well try now and get that notion out of your system. I have already told you my intentions and have given you your choice.” We looked at each other as Cathy came and stood next to Bridgette. They were waiting to see if I was going to run.

Part of me wanted to run, if I made it to my hole in the wall, I could change my clothes and how I look. However, my feelings welled up and I began to cry. ‘I can’t be crying like a girl I thought, ‘but I couldn’t remember crying like this since I was a little kid.’ Bridgette paused and then she hugged me and asked, “Why the tears Ashley?”

“I want to be happy, but I am scared,” he said.

Cathy took me by the hand, hugged me, and whispered, “I think you chose wisely, young woman.” Cathy wanted to do my hair, but I still smelled too much of the street and jail. It's embarrassing for a guy to dress down to panties and bra, but even they had to go. Cathy gave a side compliment, “It will be nice to get him/her cleaned up and her hair done, she won’t make a bad-looking girl.”

She told me not to worry about my hair in the shower, she would give me a shampoo and cut. But they reached in after I had just gotten wet and soapy. They turned off the water and put a cream on my legs and arms. They talk to me as they watch their watches before letting me continue the shower. They gave me a good-smelling girly soap. Not only did I lose the little hair I had from my legs and arms, but my legs felt softer and smoother. They looked as pretty as a woman’s complexion and felt good as well.

I was back in a clean pair of panties and a bra for now. I'm given a simple top and a pair of girl’s shorts. Cathy took my hand and had me sit in a chair near a special sink, but I faced away from the sink. It was strange as she leaned me back and my neck fit into this small curved area. She wet and began to shampoo my hair.

“I am going to brighten her hair a bit Bridgette, and give it a redness that says you two are family,” Cathy says to Bridgette, I knew she was also talking to me. “I can tell he was a ‘street kid’ but he took better care of himself than some of the girls we've seen. Her hair is in poor shape for Ashley, but she does have a good head of hair and in time it will be gorgeous." Cathy looked directly into my eyes, "Hello. if Ashley is already in there she’ll love today.”

Cathy shampooed, conditioned, shampooed, colored, and conditioned my hair again before she sat me fully up and dried it some. She begins to comb it out. She sectioned off an area she combed down onto my face and cut off what went below the bottom of my eyes. She rolled the remaining hair in a curler and then made her way around my head cutting some here and there. She uses rollers, clips, and pins. I know because she set a mess of them in front of me and had me hand her what she wanted

She turned the chair around and had me watching her saying, “Do you see how I am doing this?”

My initial thought was ‘Who cares’, but as she went along she knew she got my attention and knew that I was really watching. She has this smart humor to gently rub my male ego through it. Bridgette had asked and went to get some sandwiches for noon lunch. If I had realized it that would have been a good time to have run.

The sandwiches were good, I could have easily eaten all three myself. Instead, I found myself taking small bites, patting my lips with a napkin, and enjoying our conversation. I was watching Cathy and Bridgette and I took cues from how they did things.

Bridgette says, “You didn’t learn to eat like that on the street… And by the way please tell me where you lived and how you managed as a young guy. The social worker said you were at least four years younger when you ran away into the city from someplace in Connecticut.”

I told her, “I learned as a street kid to mimic my environment, so I ate like you and Cathy.”

“I am not going to say exactly where I lived, but I lived under the streets. I became a watch guard for another group. I was a sneaky little rat," I said with a proud smile. "A gang from the streets once tried to clean the subway of my guys. I had signaled my group and set a wire to trip them when their gang tried to bail out.”

“If you’re not big and tough or in a group; you needed to be quick and think… You won’t believe it but I have a little library down there. I used discarded calculators and school books to learn. That was one of the things I liked about Bridgette,” I said.

“How was that?” Cathy cynically asked.

“You think it is just because she’s beautiful that I liked her, don’t you?” I knew what she was thinking. “She carried library books some of the time. Their numbers make them easy to spot; she had other heavy books so I figured she was one of those really smart students. Beauty and brains can go together, but you didn’t expect a guy to notice, did you?”

“I told you, I’m scared,” I said. “Bridgette says I’m going to school. That excites me, but it also scares me so much I'd wet a pretty pair of panties,” I laughed. I was relieved when Bridgette and Cathy did too.

“The closest I ever came to wanting to be a girl was when my parents divorced and my sisters got to go with my mom because they were daughters, girls. I was kept with my dad because I was his son.”

“I was told my mom moved away to be safe, so my dad wouldn't find them. It was less than a month after they left that I was the one to blame when my dad got upset. Mom and my sisters never came back, not even when I went to the hospital. Three times I got hurt or ran away. People promised I would be safe when I went home. I wasn't. That was when I decided to get lost in New York City.”

Bridgette asked, “Weren’t you afraid of getting hurt?” Cathy had started to undo the rollers and pins and comb and brush out my hair. I was enjoying that so much Bridgette had to ask again.

I said, “Getting lost in this city would have been scarier if I knew better. But I didn’t know where I was, just that I didn’t want to get sent home… The first time I got bit by a rat, I got so sick, that I thought I would die. I didn’t make it back to my hide-out. I never gave them my real name or where I lived. Once my dad came to see if I was his son; we both denied knowing the other.”

“My dad thought me too much trouble; I could end up being a funeral cost. He even told me that. The placement of a street rat doesn’t rate too high on the City's list. Some places they put you weren’t better than the streets. Officer Rog helped catch me twice, after that he knew the holes I was crawling out of weren't necessarily worse than where they sent me.”

“The first time he left me fruit and & ½ a sandwich, I was too afraid to take it. A squirrel had gotten to it by the time I decided it was safe. I split the sandwich with the squirrel but kept the fruit for me.”

Cathy had finished with my hair, but they would not let me see in the mirror. I had to change into a light yellow summer skirt and put on a girly undershirt they called a camisole with a light shirt-like blouse over that.

I'm now in that chair as Cathy did my makeup and Bridgette my fingernails. She placed my feet in the same goop my hands were in, saying I was getting a pedicure as well as a manicure.

They both laughed when I asked what my hands and feet had that they needed this cure thing. My nails had been grubby and stained but that pretty much disappeared as Bridgette progressed. I wouldn’t realize till later that my grungy feet lost much of their hard dry crusts of skin. Cathy had my attention when she started to apply makeup.

There were these little bits of cream or ointment she spread across my face. The names she told me kind of fitted, she told me one's a 'concealer' and the other is a ‘foundation’ that goes over the rest of my face. She used tweezers first pulling out hairs around my eyebrows. When I complained she used warm wax instead. It felt good going on, I thought it was a soothing ointment. That was until it dried and she pulled it off, saying “That’s much better.”

I never realized it could hurt being a girl. Cathy marked my ears with dots and even asked my opinion if they were balanced in their spacing. I thought she was thinking about tattoos but hadn’t remembered seeing a guy’s ears being tattooed. I protested as she raised this gun-like object and I let out a yip each time she shot in a stud making for three earrings on each side. One had a light blue sparkle, another was a small hoop, and the last was a diamond stud.

She went back to my eyes but this time without pain. She put on two shades of color: a peachy pink and a light golden yellow. She went light on the mascara and eyebrow pencil. Bridgette looked up and said that was the young teen look she wanted. Cathy finished with a light blush on my cheeks.

Bridgette finished my fingernails, which were now a peachy pink. I swore that they glistened because they were still wet, which I kind of hoped was true as they were too girly for me. Bridgette was painting my toes when I realized the color kept that wet look.

Cathy is quickly becoming Aunt Cathy in my head so I ask, "Can I call you my Aunt?" She asked me to hold my left hand, palm up, which I did. She put a dab of perfume on my wrist to smell. I liked both the fragrance and the name Light Blue by DG. Bridgette laughed, “Of course you would have an expensive taste.” They showed me how and where to apply the perfume.

“I don’t need it,” I pouted. “Blame Cathy, she is the one who asked me to try it.” They both giggled at my expense.

“So young woman, where did you get that voice? I like it for you and I think it will only get better as you use it.” Bridgette’s statement caught me by surprise. She and Cathy said I was using it more and more since my shower. The only explanation I had was my street savvy to adapt to my surroundings. Bridgette said, “So did you know you had a girl inside?”

I wasn’t trying to think back, but my mind jumped back to images of my mother and sisters when my parents were separated and I knew I was staying with my dad. My sister Dana was two years older and Beth was just over a year younger. My mom and older sister were crying the last time they left me. They knew not to look back. Beth walked with them, holding mom’s hand but her head was turned back and she stared at me until they were out of sight.

“I had two sisters and my mom; they're all I can think of.” Bridgette had taken hold of my hand knowing I was seeing them in my mind. Bridgette has a neat gift that in time I would come to recognize and treasure. She didn’t try to say something when she didn’t know what to say. She lightly drew me into a hug. I wasn’t appreciating being a girl, and my world was changing like a spinning top. With the hug, the spinning stopped and I was glad for a moment to be there.

Bridgette looked at her watch and said, “We need to get going if we are going to get some things done today. Cathy, what do you think? I think you have done a great job; you have brought Ashley into view. What do you think Ashley?”

Cathy took my hand and walked me to her bedroom where she had a full-length mirror. “Ashley, I think you make a lovely girl, but what do you think?” I froze as I looked.

"Ashley looks good as a girl but she is plain in comparison to Bridgette," I said.

“Ashley, as girls we tend to think less of ourselves than those around us. If you do that you will miss some wonderful and amazing times in your life. The person you are becoming will be very attractive to those who care, please embrace her.” I turned as Bridgette touched my hand.

I ask, “I am ready to go, is Aunt Cathy going with us.” Cathy smiled and shared she needed time to put herself together. It only took a short bit and she was ready. We were ready for a casual time out. I knew Cathy and Bridgette had talked about where we were going and what we were shopping for. When we went outside, a taxi drove up.

Bridgette tells me how to sit down and scoot over. Cathy's in on the other side and we were soon at Macy’s. We went to women’s clothing and a saleswoman measured me and determined for most things I was a size 3. The woman looked at me and then asked Bridgette if I was a country cousin.

Bridgette kept her cool but excused the woman and asked for someone else to help us. Bridgette showed me some styles and some differences in looking for quality. I quickly learned while quality could cost more, higher prices were not a guarantee of quality. She preferred dresses and skirts that had a lining. I thought we would buy an outfit or two but came away with five skirts, three dresses, and about ten tops. We only bought half a dozen panties and three bras along with hose and other accessories. Bridgette says I would be changing enough that especially bras would change in how they fit.

She had our purchases held aside while we looked at the bedding. We started with two sets of sheets and pillowcases, along with several sets of towels and washcloths. The bedspread and curtains Bridgette helped me to select, making sure they were feminine. She said they would set the mood for my room.

The next items we bought were purses and handbags. Bridgette wouldn’t tell me how much we spent but my guess was over $1,200. I did not realize Cathy had gone on her own, to save us some time shopping. When she came back, she had purchased a makeup case and all the basics I would need.

Bridgette had called for the taxi and the same taxi was there that previously picked us up. “Thanks, Jerry, we’re going to fill your trunk I’m afraid.”

“You good to Jerry, Bridgette. You tell me if a girl comes home it would be for a long time. Now I get an idea w’at a long time mi’ta be.” We filled the trunk and Jerry put the last of my, stuff in the front seat.

I was glad when we rode up to the apartment building from the opposite direction that I had usually come and gone. Bridgette’s apartment with Steffi was on the second floor and third floors, but what I hadn’t realized is they had the second and third floors of the twin building next door. We went down and around the corner of the hall before we entered the other building. Bridgette showed me my bedroom room and our living quarters on the third floor.

My bedroom was quite bare, “Ashley, I wasn’t expecting you to accept my offer. I am committed to you and we have a good start,” said Bridgette. “Now I ask you to pick out an outfit and change as we will go out to eat tonight. We will usually eat at home, but not tonight.”

I cleaned up and changed into a simple outfit of a nice skirt and blouse. Cathy showed me how to put on some pantyhose. She asked how I liked the feel of my legs, I lied and said I didn’t. I think she knew better.

Cathy helped me to redo my makeup. I was surprised at how different evening makeup was or what went into taking off makeup and applying a new look. Cathy helped me so it didn’t take so long, but I had to do a good portion of it. “Ashley, you are learning but you need to be patient. Are you surprised how little it takes to help you look so beautiful?”

Cathy went and changed into a skirt she had purchased, redid her makeup, and borrowed one of Bridgette’s larger tops. Bridgette had changed into something simple, but on her, everything looked special.

I expected to see Jerry and his taxi when we walked out of her apartment. We, however, walked three blocks to a neighborhood ma and pa Italian restaurant. It was a very good meal, but I was not much of a judge. It had been over four years since I had a sit-down meal. Bridgette encourages, "Please don't eat too much, you're not used to it. We can take the rest home."

Bridgette told me, “We spent a lot of money today and we have more we will spend in the days ahead. I am committed to you, but you need to know a New Yorker doesn’t eat where the tourists do very often. There is a lot for you to learn and take in before you start school in September.”

I asked, “Bridgette, what is the business that you and Steffi have?”

She smiled saying, “We run a consulting business, Intersection of Business and Relations Consulting Corporation.”

“What does a consultant make or do? Why do you need to go to Fordham University if you have your own business?” Cathy looked at me giggled and looked at Bridgette.

“Steffi and I consult with businesses about problems their business has and how to correct and improve them. We also work with people who in their work or family have trouble with relationships.” Bridgette paused and then smiled, “This will be my second graduate degree and I am working towards a doctorate in psychology focusing on relationships in male-dominated societies. Does that help your understanding?”

“Only a little bit, but I don’t think you are surprised. It is like I said before you are a woman of character and learning that I look up to. Will, what you do help me?”

Bridgette paid our bill and Cathy wanted to leave the tip, but Bridgette said, “Cathy, I owe you so much more as well as my deep appreciation friend. And Ashley, you impress me as a young woman with wisdom of her own. Let us go home and begin our new lives together.”

Bridgette called a taxi and it met us at Bridgette’s to give Cathy a ride home. We went upstairs and Bridgette asked me to take a shower and get ready for bed. I had to ask about taking off my makeup before or after my shower. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hair, so Bridgette told me to dry it only partially and then to wrap a towel around it; saying she would help me in a little bit.

When I returned to my bedroom she had made my bed and had the new curtains put up on the lone window. She had my clothes out and folded or hung up and in my closet. She sat me down and finished drying and brushing out my hair. She had me get dressed, in bed, and ready to say goodnight when she realized I was quite scared.

“Ashley, will you be alright being left alone to sleep tonight, or do I need to sleep in here to make sure you are here in the morning?”

I said, “I am so dizzy with all we did, I’m not going anyplace tonight. I wouldn’t know what to do tonight. I can’t promise I won’t run sometime, but I do promise it won’t be tonight.”

“I thought you already agreed to live here as Ashley Riley.” With that, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes. I said, “Goodnight, and thank you Bridgette; I was afraid I was going to prison.” She turned on a small light in the bathroom and then left my room.

I am not sure but I thought probably an hour had passed before I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up, put on a robe, and walked down to Bridgette’s bedroom. Pulling my blanket, I knocked on her door. I knocked and went in as Bridgette had just walked back into her room from her bathroom. She had a towel wrapped around her hair and was drying herself off. I fell next to her bed, hid my eyes, and cried asking for her forgiveness.

She was soon bent over me, “Yes Ashley, you would do well to wait until you’re invited, but you might as well get up and tell me why you are here. We are both women now so please get over being embarrassed. Especially during the summer, I don’t wear much when I go to bed.” She did put on a thin camisole and panty, though they did not hide much.

She was beautifully endowed but I was surprised as beautiful as her breasts were that they were not as big as I had imagined from magazines and statues I had seen.

She sat me on her bed and told me to get under the covers and move over. “Are you as afraid as you look?” She got into bed but was sitting up so she could listen to me and see my responses. I tried crying into her pillow as I talked. She lifted my head and held me in a warm hug until I regained my composure.

Bridgette encouraged me to trust and confide in her. “I am afraid but it is more about me,” I said. “I liked pretending today, it felt good, but I’m not a girl. You have done so much; I think you are going to become angry with me and then I will be in big trouble.”

“Do you feel guilty about being a girl?” Bridgette continues, “I thought you did very well and it seems like you trusted me and like the idea of being here.”

I say, “But it isn’t normal for a boy to want to live as a girl.”

Bridgette replies, “Was it more normal for a boy to live like a ‘street rat’? No ordinary ten-year-old boy survives below the ground and on the streets of New York City for four years. Are you angry with me because I will only accept you as Ashley Riley?”

“I survived and I became a ‘street rat’; I am proud of that at least I knew who I am. I am not angry with you because you were upfront and honest with me. But I don’t know Ashley Phoenix Riley. It’s probably sick, but I kind of like being a girl and having a bed and home. Who is Ashley Riley? What does it mean to have your name?”

It was the first time I saw in Bridgette something she was not sure of. She paused a good while before she said, “You ask really good questions. I think you chose wisely to become a girl, and are not sick at all. When you called Cathy your Aunt, I knew I didn’t want to be just another Aunt, but you are too young to be my sister. You could be a cousin, but I was scared to say who you are to me. I am scared about saying anything so soon but I would like you to be my daughter.”

She says, “If it is okay with you when you are comfortable in being a girl and in knowing me; I would like to adopt you as my daughter. I don’t want to replace your mother and if we ever find her I will encourage you to be with her as her child. Otherwise, I would love you to be my daughter.”

“But what if I don’t become comfortable being a girl?”

Bridgette cuddles me, “You became Jack and a street person because you felt you had to; I would be really surprised if you don’t become Ashley Phoenix Riley because you want to be her.” I didn’t expect her to know Jack wasn’t my real name. There was something in what she said and she said it before, with her I have the choice to become Ashley.

“What scares you?” I asked.

“Vanity and responsibility, someday I would love to give birth to a child of my own. My vanity says I am too young to have a 14-year-old daughter. Being your guardian and especially the idea of being a mother feels like a lot of responsibility,” Bridgette said with watery eyes. “But somehow I love the idea of being your Mom.”

We just sat there for a while, we talked but mostly we were just together. Finally, Bridgette took me by the hand and led me back to my bed. We said goodnight and again shared a kiss and a hug. “Is it alright,” I asked, “if I consider you my Mom, though I know you are just my foster mom for now?”

She smiled, and squished me, “That would be nice.”

I woke in the morning, having to go to the bathroom. It was light and after the bathroom, I found my way to the kitchen. I met Steffi, but Bridgette; she said was in her office. Steffi was fully clothed, had her hair and make-up done, and was enjoying a cup of coffee. I looked for a clock as she said, “So Sleeping Beauty did you have a good night's sleep?”

“I am Steffi and I hear you are Ashley Riley. Bridgette and I are good friends.” I am not good at guessing ages but I figured Steffi was about two years younger than Bridgette. “Can I make you some breakfast or do you want to get dressed and ready for the day and have lunch?” The various clocks on the stove, microwave oven, and wall all indicated it was just after 10:00 a.m.

“I know you have some shopping and things to do today, but I was wondering if you would like to make some money doing things for us, from time to time.” I was thinking, Jack had a bank account with Officer Roger’s help. What would happen to that money? Bridgette has so far been paying for things. “Every girl wants the freedom to get some things on her own,” Steffi said.

“I don’t mind earning money, but if I am part of this house I don’t expect to get paid for everything,” was my reply.

Bridgette had come in behind me and she said, “Don’t worry you are part of this household and most of what you do here will be because you live here. It will be what I expect of you.” She's carrying some clothing items on hangers. “I have a couple of outfits you could iron and I suspect Steffi too has some outfits for her clients, as this will be an unusual work night.”

“So are you two fashion consultants or something? I haven’t ironed before, what if I damage the clothes.”

“It is something you need to learn to freshen up your own clothes. We will help show you and I expect you to do a very good job without damaging the clothes.” Bridgette told me to finish breakfast and get ready for the day. “We will go out sometime between 1:00 and 2:00. You can ask me or Steffi for help when you are ready to iron.”

“Yes Mom,” I said. Steffi looked at Bridgette with a surprised look and then smiled as she was holding back a giggle.

Looking at Steffl, Bridgette said, “We talked late last night. When she becomes comfortable being a girl, I will seek to adopt her, until then she is already my foster daughter.” Steffi first hugged Bridgette with a warm hug and congratulations. She also gave her a nice kiss which surprised me and caused me to think, until she hugged and kissed me on the cheek.

I was upset as I got dressed that both my hair and make-up were not as I wanted. I had to go and knock on Bridgette’s door. “It looks like you forgot your foundation, so you need to take your make-up off and start again. Get me your styling brush and a comb after that and I will help you with your hair this time. Remind me when we go out, one of the things we need to do is get you a good phone. You might want to check my jewelry for earrings that go with your outfit.”

I actually enjoyed going back and getting things correct since Mom was not treating me like a little girl. She had a bunch of earrings that I liked. While some went with the outfit, most were too flashy or expensive to wear with such a casual outfit.

When I got back with the brush and comb, Bridgette smiled. “Good taste young lady, you remembered to go light on the make-up. I'm surprised we don’t need to go back and change earrings.” Now it was my turn to smile as I pleased her.

When we went to the kitchen the ironing board and iron were set up.

Mom had one of my new skirts and showed me some wrinkles we could iron out of it. Then she had me turn the skirt inside out, and read the fabric and iron information. She had me use a thin cotton kitchen towel to iron over the lining of the skirt. She showed me how to watch for pleats and how to iron them.

The blouses had darts that she pointed out as well as some lacework. The lacework I could leave for her, but the rest was up to me. I did Mom’s outfits but needed to pee before I started on Steffi’s outfits. I found myself naturally sitting down to do what was needed.

When I saw a feminine pad in my bathroom, I was sure it was not there by accident. So I tucked myself back and placed the panty liner in position, but I put it upside down. I wasn’t surprised that it was uncomfortable. My bigger problem was the sticky side caught my short hair and skin. It hurt enough that I wouldn’t make that mistake twice.

I was finishing Steffi’s first outfit when Mom came and said it was time to go. Mom noticed a pained expression on my face and asked, “Did you burn yourself with the iron?”

I said, “No. It isn’t important.” But she insisted on knowing and waited me out. “I had to go to the bathroom, and I was sure for some reason I was to use the pad you left out.” She nodded her head yes. “Well, I used it wrong and it got caught on my hair and skin.” She did her best to restrain herself, but once she giggled, she lost it and so did I.

Mom laughingly said, “That was something we should keep for a memory book.”

“You would have to be cruel to do something like that; it was bad enough I had to tell you. Would your mother do something like that to you?”

Bridgette paused and said, “No she wouldn’t but like me, she was not above threatening to do so.” She hugged me and then said, “Did you correct it on your own or do we still need to do that?”

“I took two steps and she knew what I had done and what I had to do. It’s done but there are a few spots still smarting,” I said. I got my handbag and we were soon on our way. On our way, I asked what about my bank account, as Jack. She said, "We would be setting up a bank account and would need to check about getting into your old account.

Our first stop was for a cell phone. She added me to her account and got me a very good phone. She had enough points or credits that it didn’t cost much. We stopped by Best Buy and she bought me a laptop computer and a good music box. I wanted a TV, DVD player and more but she said we got enough for now.

The next was a medical shop where I was fitted for breast forms: The first pair would be my regular pair of size B breast forms. Another pair was for when I would be active running, swimming, and/or playing volleyball. Bridgette also had me fitted for a vagina-shaped gaff that would require me to pee like a girl. We left there with me wearing the gaff and my regular breast forms. If I had any doubts that my world had changed, they were left behind as I left the medical store.

I practiced walking and sitting during the time it took for all the information to be filled out and the bill paid, I had over a half-hour of walking, sitting, and standing in my transformed body. Wearing them for the remainder of the day was also part of the learning curve. Even breasts fitting a size B bra add an unusual balance of weight to a boy’s body.

It was hard to tell by Bridgette’s smile and conversation how happy she was for me and how pleased she was with herself. I was hoping I was walking like a normal girl, but I knew it was not normal for Jack. Bridgette looked at her watch and said it was time to get to our appointment. We used the subway and went to a big hospital and medical complex.

The building we went into had women and children going in and out of it. We went up to the fourth floor and into a women’s clinic. It had been a long time since I had a real doctor’s appointment and I knew it took a while to get an appointment unless it was an emergency. I was surprised when Bridgette told the receptionist, “We have an appointment for Ashley to see Dr. Reid.”

I'm uncomfortable sitting in the office, pretty sure all the girls and women knew I wasn’t a real girl. Mom handed me an old copy of Seventeen to read. Another girl sat on the other side of me and said hello and started to talk. I thought, ‘Why can’t I get a normal New Yorker who stays to herself.’

She was at least a year younger than me and she said, “This is my first visit to a woman’s doctor, but I bet you’ve had periods for a while and have been here before.”

“This is my first appointment here. This is my foster mom and she just wants me to have a check-up.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation. Bridgette looked at her mom and spoke, “Mrs. Turner is it. Don’t you have an older daughter who goes to Beacon High School?” She introduced herself and me saying I was to start at the high school in September.

The nurse called my name and I nodded for Bridgette to come with me. I suspect most 14-year-old girls might not be so quick in doing that, but this was little girl time. Nurse Meg took us back, first getting my weight and height. I had not known but Bridgette had called and visited with her doctor this morning at 7:15 and filled Dr. Reid in on my past.

“Ashley, Dr. Reid wants you to relax and know all her patients are special. So when she treats you as a regular patient, please know, she also sees you as the special person you are. Now I need you to undress and change into one of the exam gowns. I’ll take your vitals and Dr. Reid will be in shortly.”

Their partitioned area and gown were a step above most clinics but it’s still a humbling experience. I looked to my mom asking, "What am I to do?" Most girls aren’t wearing breast forms and um." I changed as I was told and Nurse Megan treated me with the utmost respect and helped me to relax.

Dr. Reid came in and I liked her from the start. She was probably at least 40 years old but she had a warm disposition. The women’s exam gown opened from the front. “Young lady, I hear you have been on the streets for a few years. It is nice to find you in relatively good health though it’s early in the checkup. We will check a few extra things.”

“Tell me any of the times you were in custody did they ever do a good health exam of you?” I thought back but couldn’t remember any. “That may serve to our advantage but that's for later.”

“Ashley, I don’t mean to humble you but we will need to take off your appliances so I can do a complete health check.” Neither Bridgette nor I had the solution to take them off but that was neither a problem nor a need for Dr. Reid. “I am pleased Bridgette that you are treating Ashley age appropriately. Ashley, have you been active sexually? I will be examining you completely so I want you to be truthful up front.”

“Not other than being a normal teen exploring oneself.” I was glad she did not ask me to explain any further. She was very thorough in her physical.

“Bridgette, I suggest you get Ashley to your dentist soon which requires a thorough checkup and as importantly a complete cleaning of her teeth and gums. I will prescribe a nutrition supplement to strengthen her body. I will give her a shot and some medicine to combat the possibility of worms. Being a woman the loss of some growth may not be seen as a hardship. I suspect as a normal male she would likely have been 6’ and possibly taller. Now I think her height will be around 5’ 7” possibly more or an inch less.”

The next six months will tell much about the health and maturing of her organs and her skin tissue to a more normal process and sensitivity for a normal person. Her nutrition has been closer to that of a person in the third world and her skin is like one doing labor underground. Normally puberty would have been more advanced than has happened in her case.”

“Since she is being raised now as a girl I suggest you use a testosterone blocker and that we begin female hormone therapy to help her development. Bridgette, I would suggest the next conversation be between you and me…

… They came back some fifteen minutes later. “Ashley this is something we need not make a quick decision about. But I suspect it should be made soon less we want it to become a more public issue. Your male genitalia have not yet matured and with the blocker, we are planning to use they will not. Thus your penis and sack are no more than fatty tissue that might get in the way of your body’s female development. Presently surgery to remove them would be seen by me as a correction to your body as Ashley.”

“If we would do the surgery, I would petition for your legal identity be that of a girl. If we wait, an institution like your high school would recognize you as a male living as a female. We would then have to wait until you are of the legal age of eighteen to undergo such a process. The use of female hormone therapy would be minimal as would the development of a female body.”

“If you request it then even the use of the male hormone blocker could be prohibited and you might develop as a male while appearing as a female.”

I spoke up as she paused and allowed me to think and speak. “Dr. Reid, you’re saying because of my living underground and how I ate, my body is behind in growing? I am not sure if you are being honest with me or treating me like a guinea pig. You talk of blockers or female therapy.”

Dr. Reid says, “I am caught a bit off guard with your insinuation that we might be treating you as a guinea pig, but knowing you are street savvy and my nature is to be upfront. I think your statements are very good. I am amazed at how well you have continued to learn and develop as you have.”

“You could ask Bridgette to take you to a different doctor for a second opinion or the development of your male body. I would not treat you as a guinea pig or less than I should in any instance. But if you graduate from high school as Ashley in four years, I am speaking about the possibility of you doing so legally as a female. I stated I do not want you to decide that today, but like you, I am honest and upfront.”

My exam continued and though I was hoping it didn’t show I was excited about the possibility of being a female. I did ask, however, “If we did the surgery and I wanted to take part in sports or other things where my gender might be questioned, would I pass such an exam?”

Bridgette moved closer to me and took my hand and we looked to Dr. Reid. “It would depend on the development of your own body in producing hormones and how much hormone therapy you will need in the future. But even then, based on medical necessity and you being legally identified as a female you should pass under most guidelines.”

Dr. Reid with Nurse Meg’s help put my appliances back on and used foundation and makeup to cover the seams. When I realized the whole appointment took well over an hour I thanked the doctor. “Dr. Reid, I believe you and you seem to understand for a street rat trust does not come easy. I never heard of a doctor giving so much time to a patient.”

“Well, Miss Ashley I am glad I did. I already have a deep respect for Bridgette and am thankful now to be able to say the same for you. I do not presume what you will decide, but I know you have an understanding of what I said.”

Next Bridgette and I went for a late lunch and then to a bank and started bank accounts in my name. I tried their ATM to check the balance in my Jack account. It was just over $230 which was very good. But my ATM card was down in Jack’s hole. I wanted to talk about the possibility of surgery but Bridgette was now mindful of the clock and her responsibilities for the evening.

We got back home and I helped fix the dining room for six people but was told I would not be part of the evening. I watched over part of the preparations Steffi and Bridgette took turns in dressing up for their working dinner. What I didn’t understand was why they were planning for the dinner not to be ready when the people first came.

I excused myself near the times they expected their clients to come. I was surprised because only one set of outfits could have possibly fitted one of the women. I was anxious to see them when they left; to see if either of them were wearing the clothes home. But Bridgette later told me in the kitchen she did not want me spying on her guests. I was to be up in my room as she had given me a reading assignment.

Even when the women spoke I could not understand what they were saying but their voices had happy tones as one enjoying the evening. I was proud as my high respect for Bridgette was underscored.

The following day was unusual as Steffi was working at home and Bridgette needed to visit a corporate customer. She said I needed to go with her and be a good young lady for a few hours though it would probably be boring. I knew she did not trust me to leave me alone.

We went to one of the corporate offices in Manhattan not far from Times Square. I knew if I got away from her I had a good chance of getting away. She introduced me to a guy named Willie before we went in. “Ashley to take the temptation away from you, I want you to know of one person I have helping me today. He and others at his disposal are streetwise like you.”

Bridgette and I went up to the company’s offices beginning on the 40th floor. Bridgette was meeting with the head of accounting and the corporate VP of some divisions. They were outwardly very warm and cordial to her, but the division VP seemed a bit anxious. I was presented to the head of the support staff of the financial department.

Bridgette told her, "She's not to go anyplace; she's to do some reading I've given her." The woman was very nice and we visited for much of the morning. She was delightfully surprised that Bridgette would take up the responsibility of being a foster parent. “Our department has great respect for you foster mom. She's quite the professional and she has saved this corporation from going under or being sold out.”

“I know not everyone is pleased to see her; most executives think they can intimidate women and have a way of talking down to them. That is not the case with Miss Riley. I know two of our salesmen were on their way out and their marriages were on the rocks but they used Bridgette to give them a new sensitivity and outlook on how they work with others.”

Sandra called Bridgette, to come at 12:30, to get approval for her to take me to lunch. Bridgette instead had her order food for the three of us brought in. She handed information she wanted Sandra to type up on a CD and copy some documents. We had a good lunch and without Bridgette’s knowing she had another office woman show me around the offices and visit with me as she needed to get more work done.

On our way home Bridgette had us go past the Beacon High School on 61st Street and shared it was the high school I would be going to. “Come next week we should register you for the coming year,” she said. “You and I need to talk about what Dr. Reid said and if you want to go as a boy living as a girl as the minimum I require or if we are going to go a step further.”

I waited until we were home and asked for a cup of tea and time to talk.

“You’re asking me if I want the surgery to become fully a girl, aren’t you? Well, I want to know that you two aren’t bluffing me. I have a new life and my likelihood of a meaningful life is with high school education. I don’t view things with the same importance as most. Being alive is better than being dead; having a future is different than just surviving. I would like to go to school; I would like the luxury of playing sports or learning an instrument. Being a boy or girl means different things for me than most people.”

“Last week I assumed I was a guy and being a girl wasn’t imaginable, though every time I remember my sisters I imagined it. Dr. Reid made it an attractive and a real possibility.” I stopped talking and just hugged my Mom. She knew I was ready to cry, so she held me there and just said, “Go ahead cry, when you're ready.” I had a good cry and she handed me tissues.

She giggled and then said, “That mascara does hold up well under tears.” While it did blot off, the mascara had not run down my whole face. If you’re a boy you may think it’s not a big deal. A girl, on the other hand, can appreciate it and would like to know the brand.

“Mom, if I said yes to the surgery, it would be important to me that you don’t think I’m some kind of creep or stupid enough to do it just because of sports.”

Mom laughed as Aunt Cathy came walking through the kitchen door. “What are you two talking about that has Bridgette laughing and you saying something about sports?”

I caught Cathy and Mom by surprise and said, “We’re talking about me pretending to be a girl or trying to be a real girl. I think trying to go to high school as a student is going to be tough since I haven’t been in school since fourth grade. It will be hard enough without worrying if ‘I’ve got a secret’ is going to catch up to me. My boy parts aren’t really working so it is possible to get them surgically removed as a medical necessity to Ashley’s development. Do you follow what I am saying?”

Now Bridgette and I were rolling in laughter as Aunt Cathy was wondering what in the world she heard. We both got up and hugged Cathy. Bridgette told her to close her mouth and helped her to sit down.

When Aunt Cathy came around Mom explained our visit to the doctor and the possibility that emerged. It was a very good visit because Cathy gave some good challenges to why we should not be doing what we were considering. We talked and Cathy changed her mind. “I think I see the emergence of Ashley Phoenix Riley.”

Earlier in the week, I had no appreciation for my new middle name other than it was pretty. I have since used my new computer to find the Phoenix was a mythical bird in Greek mythology and similar beliefs arose in many of the civilizations around the world.

I could tell Phoenix as well as Ashley and Riley was special to Bridgette; she smiled and hugged me. Steffi came in and we were having a good visit when Mom asked me to go and get ready for bed. I was taken by my new appearance as I showered. I did some exploring, but again and again, wondered how my new girl parts would respond if they were real.

After my shower, I enjoyed taking care of my hair and skin. I put on my nightgown and robe and went back out to the family room. Only Steffi is out there, Cathy is in with Mom. Steffi said they were doing something special but would not elaborate.

“Steffi, can I ask you a question?” She nodded her approval which she would quickly regret. “Do girl parts respond to touches and thoughts like male parts,?I asked. She was quickly at a loss for words. “Well, maybe you can tell me if they only respond to men touching them, or could it be another woman?”

She had picked up her phone and texted someone. Then she told me, “I’m not sure if I am the one who should be talking to you about things like that.” I apologized and in a few minutes, Mom and Cathy came back out. Mom was more casually dressed and Cathy was fixing her hair. Mom’s explanation was she was showing Cathy some of her more recent outfits.

Mom asked what we were talking about and while I hesitated, Mom encouraged me to share.

“Well, I asked some questions that Steffi said I should be talking about with you.” They were a bit amused as I explained how my new appliances made me look so much more like a real girl. Mom and Cathy seemed okay with that so I decided to ask my questions again.

“Mom, do girl parts respond to touches and thoughts like male parts? I asked Steffi if they only responded to a man or could another woman cause her to have an orgasm?” All three smirked but held back their responses.

“Ashley, you know how I have commented on how good the questions are that you ask? Well, you and I will also need to talk about what you say or ask in private and in public.”

“I understand that Mom but I am now confused because we have talked about several things with Cathy and or Steffi as though we were in private. I am sorry if I embarrassed myself or you.” I had gotten up and was about to cry and I tried to excuse myself. Mom hugged me. Cathy and Steffi also came up and they gave me a group hug. “I’m also sorry Steffi couldn’t have been in there with you. I know you are worried that someone needs to watch me.”

“It is me, young lady, who owes you an apology, and I want you to know how proud I am of you,” Mom said. Cathy and Steff agreed with my mom that they thought I was doing very well.

Aunt Cathy said, “Ashley, you need to know that we too are on a steep learning curve with you. We might not always know what to say, or even when not to speak. We love you and you are already precious to us.”

Mom suggested that I get off to bed as she was going to say goodbye to Cathy. Steffi indicated she was going to her living area. I was on my way to my room when I looked back and saw Bridgette and Cathy sharing a warm goodbye kiss. I went to my room and began to read hoping Mom would come in to say goodnight before I got too sleepy.

It was probably a half-hour before Mom came into my room to say goodnight. “I bet having a teenager puts a crimp into the life of a single young woman like you.” Mom smiled sat on the edge of my bed and squeezed my hands.

“Life has changed a lot for both of us this week, but if I could go back I wouldn’t change it. You already were quite a person before I met you and I think you are going to be a fantastic young woman.” Expressions changed like she was switching gears, “It would take more time to answer your questions than I have tonight. I am sorry but I need to spend some business time on the computer before I call it a night.”

“Mom, I know I have a lot of growing and a lot of time ahead of me. I can be patient but there is one thing. I hope you know, I am serious about wanting to be a real girl. I hope we can talk about that tomorrow.”

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To Be Continued...