© August 2012

Part Five of Eleven

Chapter Five: Being a parent

    Nicole had been driving for around four hours before she pulled into a diner at the side of the road and stopped for something to eat and to also stretch their legs for an hour. Samantha offered to drive when they got back on the road, but Nicole said she wanted to be the one driving, as she didn’t want either her or Sara to know the location they were heading for.

     “Why is this place your taking us such a big secret?” Samantha asked.

     “It’s not that I don’t trust you Sammi, but the less the two of you know, the better it is for me to protect you both.” Nicole explained her reason

     “Protect us from what?” Sara asked sounding frustrated about the way Nicole was treating her and her mother.

     “If one of you gets caught, I can still get the other one to safety without the bad guys being able to find out where I’ve taken you.” Nicole snapped. “Now do you want to eat, or do we just keep driving?” Nicole asked as she looked first at Samantha and then Sara in the back seat.

     “Let’s just go and get something to eat, and stretch our legs.” Samantha said as she saw that Nicole and Sara were set to have another go at each other. Samantha knew it was all because they had been cooped up in the car for the last four hours, and she hoped they would all feel better after a break.

    They got out the car and made their way into the diner and found an empty table away from the other people eating in the place, and close to the exit in case of trouble. Nicole ordered food for all three of them when a waitress came over. They were soon enjoying burgers and fries.

    Sara got up from the table as soon as she finished eating. “Where are you going?” Samantha asked.

     “I’m going to check out the shop and the arcade.” Sara almost snarled as she looked at Nicole angrily just before she walked away.

     “I get the impression she’s a little upset with me about something.” Nicole said as they watched Sara walking away.

     “I know she looks like a sixteen year old, but she’s still only twelve under all that makeup and padding.” Samantha reminded Nicole. “She’s just upset about you leaving again after only just finding you were alive, and just like her.” Samantha added.

     “I hope one day she will understand that I’m leaving to save her life, as I will be yours.” Nicole sighed.

     “Is there no way you can give up this life and stay with us once we’re safe?” Samantha asked with some hope in her voice.

     “I can’t see any way of making that happen Sammi. I live off the grid, so I can do my job to the best of my ability.” Nicole tried to explain.

     “Then let Sara and I live off the grid with you.” Samantha suggested.

     “No! I want Sara to live a fun filled life of a teenage girl and then have a life like all the other teenage girls out there.” Nicole said in an angry sounding whisper.

     “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Samantha said.

     “What sort of a future would we have as a family? It would be a house full of women, and I don’t have feelings for you in that way anymore, I don’t have feelings of any sort.” Nicole said as she looked out the window to let Samantha know the conversation was over.

     “How do you hope to convince me of that Nikki, if you can’t even sound convincing to yourself?” Samantha said as she got up and went to use the restroom before they got back on the road.

    Nicole sat gritting her teeth as she looked out the window while she clenched her fists until she felt her nails break the skin. She knew Samantha was right, and she did have feeling for both Sara and Samantha still, but more as a sister in Samantha’s case.

     “Now I know why Max warned me about never contacting anyone from my past.” Nicole said to herself as she got up from the table and went to see if Sara was keeping out of trouble but first she went out to the car and grabbed one of the burner phones out the trunk and placed a call to Ferret.

     “What you got to tell me Ferret?” Nicole asked when she heard him answer the phone on his end.

     “Hi ice. No one is on your trail yet, not that I expect them to be if I know you.” Ferret replied smugly.

     “That doesn’t mean we get sloppy and ease up. Keep checking all the police report, and let me know about anything that looks out of place.” Nicole warned.

     “Are you expecting trouble?” Ferret asked.

     “I always expect trouble, and this man hunt will only bring more fixers out of the woodwork.” Nicole growled at the mess keeping Samantha and Sara alive, was turning into.

     “I don’t have all the information ice, but I think you should just walk away from this one.” Ferret said sounding worried.

     “I can’t do that Ferret. I’ll call you again in four hours to make sure you don’t have any more news for me.” Nicole said just before she ended the call and then took the back off the phone and removed the battery and sim card before she snapped the sim card in half and then dropped everything into a small stream that ran by the side of the diner before she made her way back inside to find Sara and Samantha.

    Sara had looked in the arcade and didn’t like any of the video games they had in there so she wandered into the shop to see what magazines they had. She thought it would help pass the time if she had something to read while on the road.

     “Do you actually like reading them magazines?” A male voice asked.

    Sara looked to her side where she heard the voice, and she smiled when she saw a teenage boy that looked to be about sixteen, the same age Sara was pretending to be. “Some of the articles can be interesting, and it’s better than looking out the window or engaging the grownups in conversation.” Sara said with a roll of her eyes.

     “You make a good point.” The boy smiled. “Maybe I should buy a copy then.” He added with a nervous chuckle.

    Sara just giggled as she realised that the boy was flirting with her. She’d never had a boy flirt with her before, not even when she was dressed and out with her mother shopping, but she’d never been dressed up looking like a sixteen year old before either. “I’m not sure this would be a good magazine for you though, not unless you like reading about makeup and nail polish.” Sara pointed out as she showed the boy what she was reading, and the fact it was a teen girl magazine. “Cars and sport are at the other end of the shelf.” Sara added as she pointed to the other end of the isle.

     “Do you want to go grab a drink with me?” The boy asked with a smile as he relaxed and got a little more adventurous and bold in his actions.

    Sara not being used to acting like a sixteen year old girl, found herself acting a little to flirty and leading the boy on, so he stepped in a little too close to Sara just as Nicole entered the shop and saw what was going on.

     “Come on Sara, we’re leaving, NOW!” Nicole snapped as she grabbed Sara’s arm and pulled her from the shop.

    Sara tried to pull away, but couldn’t make Nicole let go until they were out at the car, where Nicole almost threw Sara into the back seat just before she slammed the door and got behind the wheel. Samantha had seen Nicole dragging Sara from the shop and out to the car, she ran over to the car and got in the front passenger seat and waited for Nicole to drive out the diner’s parking lot before she looked at Nicole.

     “What the hell was all that about? I’ve never had to treat Sara like that, and I don’t expect you to treat her like that.” Samantha snapped at Nicole, much to Sara’s delight from the back seat.

     “You’ve never let her dress like a sixteen year old girl before, or I hope you haven’t, and for your information, I just caught her flirting with a sixteen year old boy.” Nicole snapped back.

     “Is this true Sara?” Samantha asked as she turned her anger on Sara now.

     “We were just talking mum, and then the Nazi turned up and dragged me away.” Sara snapped back angrily as she starred daggers at the back of Nicole’s head.

     “Nicole did the same thing I would have done under the circumstances Sara.” Samantha snapped. “You may look sixteen dressed like you are at the minute, but that still doesn’t alter the fact that you are only twelve and to young to be looking at boys.” Samantha added.

     “That still doesn’t mean she can walk back into my life and treat me like her daughter.” Sara whined when she saw that even her mother thought it was a bad idea for her to go flirting with a boy.

     “I told you to keep a low profile. If you can’t do that, then we need to change the way she looks, maybe a younger geekier look.” Nicole said in response to the Nazi comment.

     “NO! Please don’t do that.” Sara said with some pleading in her voice.

     “How did you know that boy wasn’t working with someone that wanted your mother dead, and they were going to use you to get to her?” Nicole asked.

     “He just looked like a sixteen year old boy.” Sara whined some more.

     “Yes and the guy yesterday just looked like a pizza delivery man until he blew two police officers brains out.” Nicole reminded Sara. “I can only keep the two of you save if you listen to what I tell you and then do it.” Nicole added as her final word on the subject.

    Samantha scowled at Sara in a way that let Sara know she was on thin ice with her and Nicole. Sara sunk down in the seat and looked out the window trying to be invisible as she put in the headphones for her mp3 player and listened to some music.

    It was an hour before any of them spoke again, and it was Sara that finally calmed down enough to realise that Nicole had been right, and she didn’t have any idea just who that boy was, and he could have been working with someone else.

     “Nicole?” Sara said as she sat forward in the seat and looked at Nicole driving the car.

     “What?” Nicole answered with an edge of anger to her voice as she looked at Sara in the rear view mirror.

     “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, and I understand that I owe you my life, but that was the first time anyone noticed me, and I got a little over excited about it.” Sara tried to explain

    Nicole looked over her shoulder at Sara to see if she was trying some trick, but all she saw was a sorry looking Sara pouting at her. “So you don’t think me a Nazi then?” Nicole asked with a raised eyebrow.

     “No I don’t Nicole, and I’m sorry I called you that. Please say you forgive me.” Sara begged. “I won’t go against your orders again.” Sara added.

     “Okay then, apology excepted, and I’ll try to be a little more understanding the next time I see you flirting with a boy.” Nicole agreed.

     “There won’t be a next time, not if she doesn’t want to find herself dressed as a boy again.” Samantha warned.

    Nicole kept out of the rest of the argument between Samantha and Sara, not that there was much more said after Samantha’s warning. Nicole did have to smile at how quick the two of them were chatting again though, like nothing had happened, and even Nicole joined in as Sara started asking her questions about her transition.

     “Did it take long for you to become Nicole?” Sara asked.

     “Two years from start to finish with the surgery, but the hormones are still doing their thing with making my skin softer and flooding my body with oestrogen.” Nicole explained.

     “Was it painful?” Sara asked.

     “Yes it was, and the dilation on a daily basis is not a nice thing to do either.” Nicole shuddered at the thought of doing that.

     “I don’t think we need to talk about this sort of thing just yet Nikki.” Samantha frowned.

     “She needs to know what she’s letting herself in for if this is really what she wants to do with her life.”Nicole said in her own defence.

     “I don’t mind mum, this is all stuff I need to know.” Sara said as she placed a hand on Samantha’s shoulder.

    Samantha indicated for Nicole to carry on, and she did, filling in some of the blanks in her past and also letting the two of them know what sort of things Sara would be going through at some point in the future.

    Nicole did more talking that afternoon than she’d done in the past thirteen years, but she enjoyed sharing part of her story with the two of them, and she couldn’t help feeling some pride for the child she’d help bring into the world. Nicole found a motel to stop at for the night and they were soon in a room after Nicole went in and got them one. Nicole didn’t want the receptionist to see Samantha or Sara, just in case they were more perceptive and put two and two together if they saw the news.

     “I’ll pop out and find us something to eat while you to get cleaned up.” Nicole said just before she left the room and got in the car, glad to be away from them for a short time so she could work out the next stage of their trip without all the questions from Sara and Samantha.

    Sara was sleeping on one of the beds when Nicole got back with the food, while Samantha sat on the bed next to her watching Sara sleep.

     “I hope you didn’t get anything hot?” Samantha asked. “I thought she could use a nap.” Samantha added as she looked down lovingly at Sara as she slept next to her.

     “Sara told me about all the junk food the police had you both eating while at their safe house, so I got us all chicken salads and some fresh bread.” Nicole smiled when she saw the pleased look on Samantha’s face.

     “Thank you Nikki, if I never see another pizza again, it will be too soon.” Samantha groaned.

     “Shall we eat then, so you can enjoy some more healthy food?” Nicole asked as she walked over to the table in the room and started taking tubs out the bags she was carrying.

    Samantha placed Sara’s salad in the small fridge they had in the room to keep it fresh until she woke, and then she took a seat at the table and started eating hers.

    Sara slept for a couple of hours and then enjoyed the food Nicole had bought for them. Nicole took a shower and was just drying herself off when Sara burst into the bathroom trying to make out she needed the toilet, but Nicole couldn’t help noticing the way she was checking out her body. Nicole had made no effort to cover up her naked body as she rubbed in some lotion to help keep her skin smooth and soft.

     “You look just like mother.” Sara said, not able to look away from Nicole’s perfect looking body. “Will I look like that one day?” Sara asked, but the look in her eyes made it look more like she was pleading with Nicole to help her fulfil her dream.

     “You will look even more beautiful than me Sara, due to you realising at a much younger age what you want to be.” Nicole said as she slipped on her bathrobe and then led Sara back out the bathroom.

     “I’m sorry Nikki, I tried to stop her coming in, but she’s a force of nature at times.” Samantha frowned as she looked at Sara.

     “Don’t worry about it. I’ve noticed she’d been looking at me and trying to work out just how far I’d gone down this road, and now she knows.” Nicole shrugged like it was no big deal. “You can’t remain modest in my line of work.” She added as she walked over pulled out a t-shirt and sweat pants to slip on, once she had her underwear on.

     “Why do you always sleep in those? Don’t you ever just want to wear a nice nightgown?” Sara asked.

     “Yes, but it’s not very helpful when fighting other fixers, where as this is easy to move around in, and doesn’t look out of place if I have to make a run for it.” Nicole explained.

     “But I thought you said we were safe here with you?” Sara asked looking puzzled. “And why do you call yourself a fixer? It’s not like you actually fix anything.” Sara added looking more puzzled.

     “I fix other people’s problems.” Nicole pointed out.

     “You kill people!” Sara shouted. “How can you say it so naturally?” Sara asked as she suddenly realised what Nicola actually was.

     “Because it is natural for me to do this.” Nicole snarled at Sara. “And unless you’ve forgotten, the only reason you’re still breathing now is because of what I am.” Nicola added as she pushed Sara down onto the bed before she walked over to the door and left the motel room, worried she might do something she’d regret if she stopped in the room.

    Nicole was leaning against the wall next to the door to their room with her eyes shut as she counted to a hundred trying to calm herself down, when Samantha stepped out to see how she was doing.

     “I’m sorry about Sara, but she has had a lot of changes to deal with in the last twenty four hours.” Samantha said as she stood next to Nicole and leaned against the wall and looked over at her.

     “I can’t undo what I’ve become, and at the minute, you both need me to be who I am, or you will both die.” Nicole said as she laid out the cold hard facts for Samantha to understand. “I’m sorry if I’m a major disappointment to you and Sara, but this is just who I am.” Nicole added with a sigh.

     “Just give her some time to come to grips with what’s happened and the fact she’s found out her father is still alive, and just like she is.” Samantha said as she tried to smooth things over between Sara and Nicole.

     “That’s just it Sammi. I won’t be around long enough for her to get over anything.” Nicole said as she pushed away from the wall and turned to look Samantha in the eyes. “Sara’s reaction in there just now is the very reason I need to leave once I’ve made sure the two of you are safe.” Nicole added.

     “Please don’t do that Nikki, just give her a little time to get use to you being in her life.” Samantha pleaded. “You’ve had thirteen years to come to terms with what you are, but you expect Sara to be alright with it after a day?”

     “I thought you’d have just moved on and found someone to settle down with, I had no idea that you had my child and never settled down with anyone.” Nicole argued her reason for keeping out of her life.

     “Not many guys out there are interested in a young woman with a child, so I spent all my time doing classes and getting a better education. Not that any of that matters now.” Samantha said as she threw her hands in the air to indicate just how much everything had changed, just because she wanted to do the right thing.

     “I’m sorry Sammi; I had no idea how hard you had it.” Nicole said as she placed a hand on Samantha’s shoulder. Not being used to showing real signs of affection made it hard for Nicole to interact with her. Max had taught Nicole to close out all emotion, so this was all very new territory, and she didn’t like it.

    “Did you ever try to look for me, and see what I was doing over the years?” Samantha asked with a hopeful look on her face, she was hoping that Nicole would say yes, but already knew the answer wasn’t going to be the one she wanted to hear.

     “I had no idea if the police were watching you in the beginning, and then I found out I was transgendered and I thought you’d never understand any of it, so I just closed the door on that part of my life until the other day when I saw your name show up on a website I go to, looking for work.” Nicole explained.

     “I’m glad you didn’t die, and that you were able to come to our rescue, but I still wish you could find some way to remain in mine and Sara’s lives when all this is over.”

     “I don’t think Sara will ever accept me as part of her life, not now she knows what I am.” Nicole frowned.

     “You’re part of her family; she has just been through a lot these past couple of days.” Samantha argued.

     “I’m just a killer to her Sammi, and she will never see me as anything else.” Nicole said it like her mind was still made up, and once the two of them were safe, she would be gone from their lives again.

     “Do you really think that we will just be able to carry on with our lives knowing that you’re out there some place carrying on with yours?” Samantha asked in an angry whisper.

     “I’m not giving you a choice. Once this is over I will be gone, and I don’t want you looking for me.” Nicole warned.

     “Why not? You’ll kill us?” Samantha asked angrily.

     “NO! But others may, if they think they can get to me through you.” Nicole replied looking hurt at her comment.

     “All the more reason to stick around and keep us safe.” Samantha bargained.

     “This is just going around in circles Sammi.” Nicole growled as she walked back into the room after taking a look around to make sure nothing looked out of place.

    Samantha stood and watched Nicole enter the motel room, and then she entered the room again after letting out a sigh of frustration.

    Sara was still lying on the bed, but she was curled up in a ball sobbing her eyes out. Nicole looked at her before she walked into the bathroom to finish getting sorted out ready for them all getting some rest before they set off again the next morning.

    Samantha sat on the bed and pulled Sara close as she tried to console her. “I’m sorry mummy, I’m so sorry, but I just don’t want to see her leave again.” Sara said between sobs.

     “I know sweetie, but Nikki doesn’t know you like I do, and she thinks you can’t accept her because of what she does for a living.” Samantha said as she rocked Sara in her arms.

     “I’m scared mummy, I don’t want to die.” Sara admitted just how scared she was.

     “I promise you that will not happen for a long time.” Nicole said from the doorway to the bathroom. “I will keep you both alive.” Nicole added as she walked over to the bed and sat down on the empty spot on the other side to Samantha, which put Sara in the middle of them both.

    Nicole looked worried when she was suddenly being hugged by a sobbing Sara. “I’m sorry about what I said Nicole, I’m glad you came to our rescue.” Sara said as she hugged Nicole even tighter.

    Nicole’s hands hovered just short of giving Sara a hug back for a couple of seconds, and then she finally gave up and hugged Sara back. “I know you are Sara, and I’ll do all I can to keep you safe.” Nicole said, but still not agreeing to hang around once they were safe, not that Nicole would know when that would be.

     “Let’s get you ready for bed now.” Samantha said as she finally pulled Sara away from Nicole and then led her over to the bathroom with their toiletry bag.

    They were soon ready for bed and Nicole dragged a chair over to the motel room door and then got comfy while Samantha and Sara took one of the two beds in the room. Both of them sleeping better knowing that Nicole was ready to protect them should anything happen.

 

To Be Continued Next Sunday  

 

Story by SaraUK

 

Edited and Posted by SamanthaK

    EDITORS NOTE: Please Comment and/or leave Kudos and let Sara know you like her work please, Any comments on spelling, grammar or the layout of the story please PM me “Samanthak” not Sara. Thank you