The Swan Chapter Seven Beauty and the Freak A Musical Reprise by Andrea Lena DiMaggio   Do they even make something for me? Something to fix someone who is...a freak?

 
Previously

“Mommy…it’s my fault. Danny was talking about her in the cafeteria the other day and bragging. I should have said something but…I …..”

“Let’s go see our little girl!” She said as she wiped her face with her sleeve.

Annie's home, the next day

"Mom..." Annie looked up from her book as her mother entered the living room.

"Yes, honey?"

"I'd like to go to the hospital to visit Dina." She wasn't asking permission so much as asking for dispensation.

"Andy!" Annie shook her head and frowned.

"Mom...please."

"I'm sorry...it's taking a bit getting used to." She shook her own head as if to chastise herself.

"I know...Mom....what do you think...How do you feel? I mean...I know Dad is trying...and I know he's having a hard time. But what do you think?" Annie sighed as tears filled her eyes. She could handle her father's rejection... not rejection, but her father's need to hold onto the past. But what if Connie failed to support her as well? It was already taking its toll; she had been losing weight and was now plagued with migaines over the stress.

"Honey...I love you...you know that, don't you?" Connie sat down next to Annie on the couch and kissed her on the cheek, causing Annie to pull away.

"I know...but who do you love, Mom? Which one of us do you prefer? She stood up and walked into the kitchen. Connie heard the water running and several minutes later she saw why. Annie stood in front of her. She had scrubbed off all of her makeup and her face was unadorned.

"Do you prefer Andy? Am I so repulsive as a daughter? Would you rather have a son? Am I a mistake, Mom?" Annie shook her head and sat back down next to Connie. She looked into her mother's eyes and whispered.

"It's okay if you hate me; Mom...everybody else does...even Dad. I won't mind... Really." She began to weep and Connie grabbed her. She tried to pull away but Connie refused to let go and pulled her closer.

"I love you...every part of you. I don't hate you and you're not a mistake. I'm so sorry I haven't shown you how much I care...I've been so confused, honey...." She went to continue but Annie cut her off.

"I am a mistake...one big mistake that needs to be fixed. Do they even make something for me? Something to fix someone who is...a freak?" Annie sobbed and once again tried to pull away.

"Andy....Annie...listen to me..." She pleaded. Her daughter was so overwhelmed with grief that she continued to weep, but at least now she was weeping in her mother's arms. Connie let her cry it out. When the weeping had subsided, Connie spoke softly, not a whisper, but a gentle voice that beckoned Annie's attention.

"Honey...I have something to show you. I'm sorry it came to this, but then again I'm glad. I've been trying to think of how to show you how I feel, and this is the only way." As she spoke she began to unbutton her blouse. She pulled it open, baring her chest.

"Annie...Annie, honey look at me." Connie once again spoke softly. Annie rubbed the tears out of her eyes with her sleeve and looked at her mother.

"When I was born...I had a problem." Connie continued to speak as she took off her blouse. She began to unfasten her bra. Annie went to turn away, her face growing red.

"Mom...what...." Connie reached over and tugged at Annie's chin, bringing her attention back.

"I was born with a hole in my heart. When I was little they didn't do the surgery before birth like they do now, so this is what i was left with." She pointed to a very thin scar about six inches long between her breasts.

"It's okay, honey. We're both girls...look at me." Annie turned and saw the scar. It was almost delicate; faded and nearly impossible to see after 42 year. And the phrase? “We’re both girls?”

"My mother was in prayer over me at the hospital. A couple from her church came into visit. She explained what the surgeons were planning on doing and they told her that it was God's will that I was born the way I was...that I was supposed to have a bad heart." Annie blinked out some tears and shook her head.

"But...but if you didn't get the surgery? You...you would have died? Mom...I don't understand." Annie shook her head.

"They meant well, but they were wrong. They thought they knew but they were wrong. Like the man that was born blind in the Bible...?"

"He...he was born so that he could be healed......so that God would get the glory? I don't understand. How does that fit in with you, Mom?"

"Not just with me, honey. I was born with a hole in my heart so that when the doctors fixed that it would be okay...I was supposed to be helped by the doctors to fix something that wasn't right so that I'd be okay…it was just the way it was supposed to be. And here I am...safe and alive because someone cared, honey. Someone cared enough to help me, do you see?" She bit her lip and tilted her head, hoping that Annie understood.

"Honey...Dr. Callahan and Dr. Straglinos and Dr. Mellencamp all care enough to help you...I finally understand because of what a nice doctor in Oregon helped me and my mother with 42 years ago." She tilted her head as her eyebrows raised slightly in question.

"Mmmmom....are you saying that my body is like your heart?"

Annie's tone was almost fearful; as if she were afraid she had misunderstood. Connie nodded and smiled as tears streamed down her cheeks. No words...just eye to eye understanding as she pulled her daughter in for a welcoming embrace.

Later that day at the hospital

"Hey sleepyhead...How are you?" Dina looked over and saw Colleen sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Your mom says you can go home tomorrow." Colleen tried to sound upbeat but her face said otherwise.

"Hheehhh....hey...I..I'm okay...rrreallly." Dina stammered. She noticed the tears in Colleen's eyes.

"Nnnooo...no crying...ooookay?"

"Oh honey...I was so worried about you. I...I...thought..." She leaned over and rested her head on Dina's pillow and began to sob softly. Dina reached out and stroked Colleen's hair and said softly.

"It's okay....I'm...okay." The swelling in her face had gone down only a bit and the bruise had turned several shades of purple.

"But what if he had...I couldn't ....oh Dina...." Even if it was a bit loud for the headache she had, Colleen's voice was music to Dina's ears. Besides her mother and her cousin Annie, only Colleen ever called her Dina.

"I know I'm...I'm....but...." She tried to say the words, so foreign and premature perhaps for a nearly sixteen year old, but still how she felt.

"Mmmmeee...ttttoooo." Colleen said as she drew strength from the soft caress of Dina's hand on her forehead. One girl in pain from the heartache of near loss, the other wracked with the pain of doubt and guilt and shame that she had thrust upon her by a cruel act of misplaced zeal.

"Col? What's my name?" Dina bit her tongue. She wondered if she had been play-acting all that time; was she deluded and just being a stupid geeky boy in a dress. Was she a fool? And what did Colleen really think of the person next to her?

"Mmmm Mangano... di Napoli...diii ddid I get that rrright?" Colleen turned her head and wiped her face with her sleeve; smiling at Dina.

"No...What’s my first name? Who am I?" She put her head on the pillow next to Colleen and began to weep.

"No...No...don't cry...why are you crying?" Colleen didn't follow what Dina was trying to say because it really never had been an issue with her.

"Ammm amm I Dina? Who am I? O god....it hurts....so bad" By now the girl was sobbing.

"Oh honey....of course you are...who else would you be?" Colleen still didn't understand.

"Am I...it's my fault you got hurt...I can't do this anymore...it's not fair." It dawned on Colleen and she thought for a moment. She wanted to say something but didn't have the words, so she showed Dina instead. She sat up and pulled closer to Dina. Holding her face in her hands, she kissed Dina. Not amorously or passionately, but with a kind of acceptance and blessing between them. Rather than subside, Dina's sobbing grew stronger; almost cleansing.

After about a half hour later, Pete and Marie came into Dina's room to find the two fast asleep on the bed. It was good, since the whole family needed some peace and quiet. A half an hour after that, the nurse came in to find Pete and Marie cuddled in the next bed. She looked into see Dina and Colleen before turning the light off and closing the door.

Dina:
(Annie)
I shouldn't be
there's something wrong
there's something in me where i feel i don't belong
It's all my fault
You must agree
That you'd be better off with someone besides me!

Colleen:
(Connie)
Oh no you don't
not someone new
My life would end if I had to live it without you
You bless my life
in every way
your life delights me honey, each and every day

Dina:
(Annie)
Oh, just to be accepted
as the girl i always hoped i'd be
I should have just expected
since you've always given all your love and care to me

Dina:
(Annie)
You bless my heart.

Colleen:
(Connie)
You bless my heart!

Dina:
(Annie)
I should have known?

Colleen:
(Connie)
Well yes indeed?

Dina:
(Annie)
Since every thing just says to me our love has grown?

Colleen:
(Connie)
Now you belong

Dina:
(Annie)
Now I belong

All:
My precious dove

Colleen
Dear Dina you're the girl that I have come to love
(Connie)
(Come to love)

Dina:
(Annie)
My dearest you're the one that I have come to love
Colleen:
(Connie)
(we’ve come to love)

All:
You bless my life with your acceptance and your love.

Next: Say A Prayer

music based on Something There
from the movie Beauty and the Beast
words and music by
Alan Menken and Howard Ashman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ysRm_C56UM