Down to Earth - Part 9

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Decisions



By Andrea Lena DiMaggio



I remember you
You're the one who made
my dreams come true
A few kisses ago

Previously:

“I know what you’re thinking, Diane and you’re wrong.” She welcomed his attention with a half-frown as he picked her up and placed her gently on the pillows piled against the headboard of the bed.

“We can never know how I would have felt if I never got hurt.” She frowned, not at Diane, but at her motionless legs, as if her eyes were gesturing.

“I have no feeling there,” she said as she looked at her body, “but I feel and enjoy and relish and savor every moment of every time we get together!” She bit her tongue as the tears fell onto her chest.

“You bring me great joy with your tenderness…your sweetness…as if I were the only woman in the world. Your words strengthen me and your kisses bless me, even if I can’t feel every kiss in every place in every way. Even if I have never felt you inside me, you invade me with your presence and fill me with great joy.”

She spoke almost as if she were singing a grand love song, for she loved and felt love in one moment. She pulled Diane to her and kissed her, over and over and over, laughing softly as they enjoyed each other, feeling truly blessed.


A few weeks later:

The light streamed through the parting of the curtains, bathing their bed in warm sunlight.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Good Morning," she said, kissing her lover on the cheek. Diane turned over and smiled weakly.

"Your eyes are so puffy, honey. Were you crying?" Almost a rhetorical question.

"I'm so scared." Diane looked at Trudy and shrugged her shoulders softly. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this." She used her eyes as a gesture as she looked at her body. While her transformation was nearly complete, save for the final alteration, she wasn't thinking of her transition.

"You may not be ready, but we are. We're in this together." Trudy smiled and kissed Diane's cheek once again.

"You've got so much going for you...me included!" She laughed softly.

"But what if this doesn't work? What will I do?" Diane bit her tongue and shook her head softly from side to side.

"We will be okay." Trudy nodded and widened her eyes as if to make a point.

"You have everything going for you. You love those kids. You love your job. We'll be fine." Diane looked at her wife as if to plead for mercy, but she really was looking for assurance. She had never been confident, either as Don or or Diane.

"Let me tell you something, sweetheart." Trudy's eyes began to mist even as she recalled what she was about to say.

"The day we met? I was wheeling myself into my office building and you were walking by. Remember?" Trudy's vision of the moment was brilliant and vivid. Diane's vision had been dimmed and shaded by doubt and misplaced shame. She looked at Trudy blankly until she heard these words,

"You said, 'excuse me, can I help,' and smiled at me. The nicest smile I had ever seen; the most welcoming smile I have ever known. You didn't rush to my side or take charge...just 'excuse me, can I help?.'" Trudy smiled at the thought of the memory while Diane frowned, not being able to recall. Her memories were clouded and shaded by the worry of the moment.

"I nodded, and you just helped me. Once I was freed from the doorway, you released the chair. It was like you were saying, 'Here you are, I hope that was okay.'" She smiled once again. Diane's eyes began to fill with tears as she began to recall.

"And then the most wonderful thing ever in my life took place. You got down on one knee and grabbed the armrest of my chair to steady yourself. You looked me in the eye and smiled that smile of yours. I thought it couldn't get any bigger or brighter but it did. And then you said, 'I don't believe I know you.' Like you were missing something...like I had just brought something special to you..to someone..as if I were blessing you."

Trudy shrugged her shoulder as if to say, 'sorry, but that's just how I feel.

"'Hi, I'm Trudy Pavelich.' I said. I stuck my hand out and you took it gently and held it for a moment. And then you said the most wonderful words I had ever heard. 'I am so pleased to meet you, Trudy.'" Trudy paused to savor the moment.

"You made me feel so special...the first time since the accident." Trudy's eyes filled with tears. There would always be regrets and sadness over her limitations, but her tears were tears of joy.

"In that one moment, when you lowered yourself to my level, not to be condescending, but to be inclusive...you made me feel that I finally belonged once again. You not only brought yourself to my level, but you lifted me up at the same time.”

Diane looked at Trudy; overwhelmed with gratitude. Trudy went on.

“You know I always thought there was something about you…something different?” She looked in Diane’s eyes, almost searching for some understanding…something that would convince Diane of her support and love.

“You and I talked about children…I know you didn’t want to…you didn’t want to hurt me.” Trudy glanced downward at her own body, remembering the day.

“Two words made me think…two words that I didn’t give a second thought at the time...'I know'; you were so understanding and supportive…you seemed so connected to my grief. And then one day it came to me…you knew the pain I felt because you felt it yourself. You knew my loss because you never had what we both wanted…to bear children. I knew then how much different you were; not only from other men, but from what I thought you were.” At those words Diane winced and tears began to fall once again.

“No, dearest…no crying…no guilt…no more shame. Today it stops. You were never whom I thought you were, but you have always been and always will be whom I really need…and love.” Trudy touched her heart with her palm and smiled.

"You won't be going into that school today by yourself. I'll be right there with you." She touched Diane's chest almost like ET did with Elliot.

"I'll be right there. Okay?" Trudy pulled her lover into her and kissed her. She loved more than anything that her arms were still able to hold...her hands able to caress and explore and comfort. And when she pulled Diane close she felt empowered and alive.

After a few moments, they parted lips and looked at each other. Both were crying, but with tears of gladness. In a brief moment, Trudy's strength had empowered Diane for the biggest day of their lives, perhaps.

"I guess there's only one question I have for you. Maybe the most important question of the day." She smiled at Diane.

"What?" Diane said softly with a smile.

"Will it be Navy Blue with the slacks or Charcoal Grey with the skirt?"

I remember you
You're the one who said
I love you, too, I do
Didn't you know?

As the couple prepared for the day, four figures stood or rather hovered by the window, unseen; Calleigh, Orla, Fiona, and the newest member of the Women, Draihoidel they are called, magical spiritual beings from the old country. They looked at the couple through the bedroom window and then moved off

“So these two, we know them don’t we?” Orla said, but it really was a statement rather than a question.

“Yes,” Calleigh said. “Fiona was blessed with the responsibility to help the woman…Diane is her name, but you may remember her as Dan. And her wife is Gertrude..Trudy she is called.” Calleigh smiled at Fiona who beamed at the mention of the man who had become something else, perhaps something more.

“So they need our help?” Siobhan asked. The newest member, she was learning all about who she was in the scheme of things. Never a patient mortal, she was beginning to understand the meaning of patience, but her question was anything but hasty.

“In a way, dear heart, but not directly.” They have each other. It is the ones they serve and the ones who serve them that require our assistance. Orla smiled knowingly. She had recognized the needs of the two at first, and her resourcefulness had crafted a plan, if you’ll excuse the expression.

“Each of us will influence a mortal to make decisions. We are bound by those decisions, even if they become difficult or even problematic, as they say. Whatever they choose to do will guide and may ultimately decide what happens to this sweet couple.” Calleigh smiled once again.

“Will I be able to help this time?” Siobhan asked. In the intervening months since their last visit, she had only been allowed to observe.

“Oh, yes, dear heart. As a matter of fact, your assignment should be waking and getting ready for the day just now as well. Shall we go and see, ladies?” Calleigh smiled at Orla and Fiona, both of whom already knew how special the plan would be for Siobhan. In a moment they were transported from the couple’s home to another home not far away; a home that Siobhan recognized.
 

~//~


 
“You kids need to get ready. I know that having a car changes things, Mike, but you still have to get to school on time. Michael McCarthy bounded down the stairs, his sister Patty following close after him.

“Mind you get straight back here right after school. I need the car to take Patty to the doctor.”

“Oh, can we just skip today, Aunt Breena?” Patty asked. I can just pop by her office tomorrow and get the new prescription tomorrow morning. Chelsea and I wanted to go to the library to study.” Breena half-frowned and said,

“Plenty enough time for that…besides, Dr. Murdoch is off to a conference tonight and she won’t be back until Tuesday. I’ll drop you by her house right after the appointment, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike said with a sigh. He had wanted to get together with his girlfriend Hilda that afternoon as well. Less focused than his sister, Mike had lapsed into some poor habits recently and really had not considered the implications. He was going to learn soon enough that actions have consequences; some difficult to deal with perhaps, but also beneficial if one is willing to learn from them.

As Breena placed the cereal bowls on the dining room table, a bright light began to stream through the window of the front storm door. A moment later the bell rang.

Janey McCarthy, most recently deceased and even more recent the newest member of the Four, stood at the front door. Breena was surprised enough to drop one of the bowls. Neddie ran quickly from the kitchen, wagging his tail. Ignoring the woman at the door, he made a beeline for the pile of spilled Cheerios and inhaled them in an instant. Patty stood stock still, while Mike walked over calmly and opened the door and smiled warmly at his mother as if greeting a dead parent was something he did every day.

Janey looked back and forth between her son, her daughter, her sister and the Irish Setter who was wagging his tail and said simply,

“Begging your pardon, dear hearts, but can ye tell me…Am I late for breakfast?”


The woman sat nervously at her desk. She was clad in a simple charcoal grey A-line skirt and a button down navy blue blouse. Her hair was pulled into a bun and she wore little makeup, save for some eye shadow and lip gloss. The watch on her left wrist was a recent gift from her partner and she wore a gold wedding ring on her left hand. The clock on the office wall said nine-twelve. A moment later a knock came at her door, followed by a familiar face in the doorway. The woman greeted the face with a soft, welcoming laugh.

“Come in Connie.” The woman said softly and Connie Van Zyl, the Guidance Department secretary stepped into the small office, her head down, looking at a folder.

“Your nine-fifteen is here…Petey Carlucci…he’s got that note you asked for and….” Connie interrupted her own thoughts as she noticed the woman behind the desk, saying simply,

“Son of a bitch…you’re doing it.” Connie laughed nervously and smiled, handing the folder to Diane Lambert, simultaneously the newest and second-most tenured counselor in the department behind Linda Calabrese, the department head.

“I’ll be honest with you, hon, I didn’t think you’d do it. Really.” She smiled once again and said,

“I’ll give you this, Dan, you’re a braver….girl than I am.” Connie chuckled. Diane looked at her and said,

“We’ll see how brave I am when everybody opens their mail this morning.” She smiled once again as Connie started to leave.

“Connie?” Diane said once again. Connie turned and faced Diane, wondering what she might say next.

“Thanks for everything…just in case?”

“Oh, Dan…Diane…let’s hope for the best!” Connie left the office. A moment later another knock came at the door.

“What is the meaning of this?” Phyllis Jensen stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips.

“Whatever do you mean,” Diane said softly, barely looking up from her desk.

“You know what I mean,” She said coldly. “Why are you wearing that?” Phyllis pointed with her outstretched arm in a broad gesture.

“Because it is too warm for a jacket?” Diane said calmly?

“No…you know what I mean…why are you wearing womens’s clothing?” Phyllis insisted.

"Because I’m a woman, Phyllis.” Diane remained calm. Phyllis took a step toward Diane’s desk.

“The school board is going to hear about this.” She said. Diane looked at her and reached for an envelope on her desk.

“The school board has already been informed. I anticipated that you would want to know, so here’s your copy.” Diane handed Phyllis the letter, but Phyllis ignored it and continued.

“I want to know what is going on, and I want to know now.” She demanded.

“Alright, Phyllis,” Diane said softly and calmly,

“Here’s the story, okay?” Diane began to read the copy of the letter on her desk.

“To whom it may concern. This letter will act as formal notification that my client, Ms. Diane Marie Lambert, with the approval and medical advice of her doctors, is entering into next phase of her Real Life Experience, commonly known as a ‘real life test.” She is under doctor’s care and has already completed prerequisite aspects of this requirement prior to her gender confirmation surgery. During this phase, Ms. Lambert will live and present herself as the woman she is. This letter is also to serve as notification that any attempt by the School Board of Milltown, Pennsylvania and/or their agents to interfere with Ms. Lambert’s legal rights under the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania shall be met with legal action on Ms. Lambert’s Behalf. Respectfully, Amos Henderson, Esq., Attorney at Law…etc….”

“I don’t know about this…the school board should know about this.” Phyllis repeated.

“They already know…they received a letter identical to the one in your hand…the very same letter I just read to you.” Diane continued to speak softly and calmly, which only seemed to bother Ms. Jensen more.

“Well, I’m the principal here…” Diane calmly cut her off.

“Sorry, but I hate to disagree. Marion is the principal. You’re acting principal while she is on vacation and at the conference in Pittsburgh.” Diane smiled warmly, which served to fuel Phyllis Jensen’s anger.

“Never the less I am in charge.” Diane waved her hand and said,

“You are acting principal in name only. Any decisions regarding personnel have to go through her office and in her absence, the department head. As Linda is on maternity leave, that leaves someone in this department with seniority in charge. That would be me.” Diane smiled again. She knew somehow Trudy was reaching out to her, perhaps imbuing her with strength beyond the moment.

“I’m going to take this up with the school board.” Phyllis said once again.

“Feel free, but they’re going to be under the same constraint as you. Unless Marion is removed from her position, which she won’t be, any personnel decisions will have to wait until she returns next Friday, so the only thing left to say is …have a wonderful day, Phyllis.” Diane smiled warmly again, astounded at the courage she had just shown in the face of what she expected would be only the beginning of opposition.

Phyllis turned and walked out of Diane’s office, nearly knocking over a fifteen year old boy who had just transferred from another district. Petey Carlucci smiled at Phyllis and waved.

"You're coming with me young man," she said as she pointed the way across the hall to her office.

Petey Carlucci, most recently of West Chester, but before that a student of Draihoidel in County Sligo in 1626; Calleigh took a deep breath and entered the office.

I remember too a distant bell
And stars that fell like rain out of the blue
When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all
Then I shall tell them
I remember you

Next: Devil May Care


I Remember You
Words and Music by
Victor Schertzinger / Johnny Mercer
As Performed by Diana Krall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MRuddACeGk

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Comments

I think

ALISON

'that dear old homophobic Phyllis is biting off more than she can chew .
With the love of Trudy and the 'Women' behind her,Diane is in a stronger
position than Phyllis or the school board.The troubles of a TG are the
same everywhere,I guess.

ALISON

Righteous Idiocy

laika's picture

Oh yeah, this Phyllis is gonna be trouble. And you can pretty much guess the tack she will be taking, all that "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" jive and that whole bizarre fixation on bathrooms. But not only does Dianne have her spectral helpers (like this new one who just entered the scene), but is showing a lot of strength & resolve of her own; so that if the laws of their area aren't quite on her side they will be before this series is over ............ I loved the meeting between Trudy and Dan as Trudy retold it, setting her at ease and validating her as a real person and not some broken thing, innately knowing how to avoid those inane blunders that so many well-meaning people make in dealing with the disabled. Good stuff, Drea. You're special!
~~~hugs, Veronica

Frank Ifield sang it

Frank Ifield sang it first.
And Yodelled in it too

A Question of Balance was a Moody Blues album

The title song, The Question would be most appropo for this series.

Heard it on the neigbors very high end separates sterio system years back and it sent chills down my spine.

Your stories are often so bittersweet, do continue.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

A Little Magic Won't Hurt

joannebarbarella's picture

Isn't it a pity that these ladies are not really around to help people like Diane? The world is a much better, nicer, place when you imagine it, 'Drea.

This is such a lovely story,

Joanne

A Question of Balance - Down to Earth - Part 2

It's a crying shame that attorneys must get involved to ensure that the rights of the transgendered are granted because of narrow minded people who give lip service to the LAW when their ideas are threatened as this ladies are.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine