It’s Friday and I’ve been at school now for three weeks and I’m on my way to see the principal Mr Giles as I’ve been summoned, but at least I know I’m not in trouble.

I did think on my very first day I had blown it and was going to be kicked out, but thankfully word got round about it with the teachers and they thought it was a bit funny, or at least that’s what I can work out from their reactions to me after they heard about it. I was walking through the school and had to go to the main office to get my timetable and be introduced to whichever kid was going to be showing me around, when I saw something that made me, well, react.

There was a kid, about my physical age I guess, being bullied by an older kid who was a lot bigger than him, with the obligatory two friends acting as his goons. Now, I’m not a fan of bullying, never have been and I wished when it happened to me at school I had stood up to them sooner, but also that someone had stood up for me. Back then it took a few of us victims to band together and stand up to them, forming a pact that we would always step in when it happened, outnumbering the bullies and if necessary beating them into submission.

Now of course I have an adults confidence within this body, so when I saw it happen those old feelings came back and I had to stand up for him, even I was shorter than all of them. I walked over and said to victim, “Hi, I’m new and trying to find the office, can you help me?”

The bullied kid looked at me with fear, but also in his eyes was a look that was screaming for help. The main bully looked at me like I was something stuck to his shoe but I was ignoring him completely, so one of his goons told me to ‘fuck off’, and he stepped towards me, lifting up a hand and moved to push me away. Now, as well as being a former infantry soldier who is unlikely to be intimidated by such futile threats, I’ve also done enough martial arts to know what to do in such a way that it looks like an accident.

As his hand was about to touch me I turned my body to the side so he over reached and began to lose his balance and I stepped on his foot as I moved out of his way and using a hand pulled him forward so fell hard to the ground. And while I was doing that I said to the bullied kid, “I would really appreciate your help as I’ve only been here once a few weeks ago, and you know what it’s like trying to find your way around.”

I completely ignored the one of the floor, even though my foot was now on his ankle and applying just enough pressure to keep him down with a bit of pain. Of course, the bullied kid was a bit wide eyed now, so I said, “I’m Louise, but you can call me Lou.”

He looked at the kid I was holding to the ground, and his eyes darted about at the other bullies and the few kids standing around and watching us. He finally said, “Yes. I’m John.”

So he’s taking my offer of way out, which is good, and then the main bully said, “Oi! I’m talking to him so fuck off.”

I turned to face him and he pointed at me, and well, if he wants to help me, who am I not to take such a kind offer? I said, “It’s that way? Great, you can come with us.” And I grabbed his finger, turning it over into a lock and buckling his knees, but I lifted his finger so he couldn’t fall down to escape the pain and said to John, “It’s nice of him to point the way, let’s go John.”

And I started walking holding the bully in a finger lock and John came along as the crowds of kids in the halls parted to let us through as we headed towards the offices.

I chatted to John about the school, asking questions to try and get him to both talk to me, and also relax and it turned out he was in the same year as me, so at least I have made one friend while dragging along a possible enemy. Oh the joys of school!

We passed Mr Alburn on the way, my Tom, and I stopped and said, “Hi, I’m new here and John is helping me find the office, and this one is pointing the way. It’s along here, right?”

Tom was struggling not to laugh, not that John or the bully would know that, but like every school all the teachers know who the troublemakers are and I was clearly dragging one of them along. He said, “That’s correct, just along here a bit more. John, thank you for being a good friend to the new student, and of course, thank you as well Christopher, it’s nice to see you being so helpful for a change.”

I choose that moment to apply a bit more pressure making him whelp in pain as his knees buckled but I was stopping him from falling down. We headed on our merry little way, with John and Christopher both looking back at Mr Alburn, one hoping he would him and the other wondering why he didn’t intervene. Before we got to the office, I applied more pressure on his finger and forced him back against the wall, keeping plenty of pressure on and more than enough for him to want to cry out in pain, while keeping it at a level that his ego will stop him from doing that.

I lent towards him and said right into his ear, “Listen here cunt, you think you’re hard but I want to make it clear you come at me or any of my friends and I will break every bone in your arms and you will be asking your mum to wipe your arse every day, and one of your friends to hold your cock as you piss. You are nothing and will always be nothing. I’ve chewed up tougher guys than you and spat them out. You fuck around with any of us and I will be on you before you have the slightest idea of what is happening. You think you’re alpha? You’re nothing to me, and I can make you nothing. You hear me?”

He said nothing, so I applied more pressure and asked him again, and he nodded. “Not good enough.” I took hold of his arm and applied a bit of pressure on a nerve ending and as his face screwed up in pain he said, “Yes. I won’t do anything.”

I pushed him away and his knees finally buckled and he knelt there holding his finger, so I offered a little compassion now I had got my point across, I didn’t want him plotting revenge. “Shake your hand lightly, there’s no damage and the pain will go very quickly.” He did just that and I could see the relief on his face.

He looked at me, and I could see for a second he was thinking about how to get back at me, so I stepped forward slowly and helped him up, saying, “I am serious, but I have no desire to hurt you or embarrass you anymore than I have. Just try and be a nice person, you will get a lot further that way.”

He stood there and looked at me, not quite sure what to do, so I turned back to John slipping my arm into his I walked him towards the office, trying to put the more intense parts of my life behind me again. I stopped wanting to be that guy years ago, but it’s nice to know that if I need to, I can still be quite threatening with my much shorter and lighter frame.

Ok, I’ll admit it, there was a part of me that enjoyed it.

Anyway, while waiting to get my schedule and hopefully a map to help find places, I chatted to John and to help reassure him I never mentioned what had just happened. He’s 15, turning 16 in November and a I could tell he was a nice guy. I could tell he was a little nervous around me, and I put it down to him being a bit shy around girls, but as he was also in my tutor group and we would be heading the same way most mornings and we had some of the same classes he had time to get over that.

Once we joined the rest of our tutor group and I was introduced to the class, making me wonder if my tutor knew about me, John showed me to English, followed by English Lit, covering all the mornings classes. As for the rest of the week, each class was about what would happen in our GCSE year and I found myself paying a lot more attention this time round at school. I hadn’t really been that interested previously, but now I had a very different outlook on life. Of course word had got round about the new girl, including how I stood up to the bullies, but I played that down and just said that John played a part as well and it wasn’t all me. Christopher and his cronies gave me a wide berth, and if I saw them looking at someone in a way I didn’t like I just walked towards them and they left.

My other classes this year were maths, sociology, combined science, citizenship, history, drama, media studies, and physical education. The last one was quite funny as it was the first time I had stripped of in front of only women and of course there was nothing to worry about and it was just like my experience of locker rooms with guys really, but nicer smelling. There were those who were quite comfortable getting changed, those that were very uncomfortable and the rest in the middle. While I was quite body confident, I picked the middle ground and just kept my back to people. The sports we played were of course different to what I did in the past, although we did play more football than I expected, so at least I knew what to do for that game. The other sports we did I had some familiarity with, although I really sucked at netball.

I was slowly forming friendships with girls, leaning that women are always sounding each other out in very different way to how men do it. There’s still competition, but rather than it all being about the physical side of it, who is stronger and who will win, with girls it’s more of an undercurrent. If a guy doesn't like another guy they will be polite but have little to do with him, but with girls, well, not liking them means you are trying to insult them without it being obvious while trying to sound like you’re a friend.

In the meantime, I fell in with John, he’s a good guy and he became my main school friend, but also hanging with some of his friends. I found it harder to connect to them, maybe because they were, well, boys, but I found that the looks I got from them were uncomfortable sometimes, clearly wondering what I look like naked and trying to find ways to impress me in the hope of seeing me that way. I don’t know if it’s my new femininity or my experience, but their attempts at impressing me seemed kinda dumb. I really hope I wasn't like that, but I must have been just another hormonal teenager.

And then there was my combined science class on Thursdays. That was a bit awkward really at first, more awkward than I hoped it would be. Yes, Tom was my teacher and it was really hard to keep reminding myself to call him Mr Alburn. Really hard and I almost slipped up a couple of times. We had been texting a little during our self imposed distance from each other, but we were very much on a break and I know I was wishing we weren’t. And then yesterday, well, I was missing him a lot so in the morning I sent him a text. We had agreed to change each others names on our phones in case someone saw either’s name when we text and on mine he was HT for Hot Teacher, and I was OG for Old Girl.

The text I sent was quite simple, right before I left for school and it said, ‘I’m not wearing any underwear today.’ He put a heart on it, then I saw the three dots as he typed, saying ‘Oh no! Not today, please not today!’ I replied, ‘Too late, half way there now.’

I soon walked through the gates to the school, wondering if my tights were thick enough to keep me covered considering the shortness of my skirt and if I should have thought this through more clearly. Not only that, why do they insist on such a short skirt now? When I originally went to school girls would be in trouble if their skirts were longer than mine is, but here I am in a short pencil skirt that really does only just cover me.

I am so so stupid!

Anyway, as nervous as I felt all day, my combined science lesson was a lot of fun. I was close enough to the front that I could tease him a little, putting one foot on the chair as I sat there, and then the other thing I did, well, that’s his fault and I take no blame for it. That particular class had some group work assigned and I stood up, moving around so I stood in front of my groups two tables that had been pushed together, with my back was to him. I stood with my feet a bit more than shoulder width apart, kept my legs straight and bent at the waist, pointing a part of myself at him. I didn’t do it for too long, but more than long enough, and after the class I got a text that just said ‘Bitch. Please don’t do that again, it was very hard for me’.

I promised not to, but we were hoping to meet up this weekend so I would make it up to him.

So back to today. I arrived at the principals office, knocked and was called in. Mr Giles pointed to the seat in front of his desk and said, “Hello Louise, how are you settling in?”

And we talked for about ten minutes about my first couple of weeks, the reports his got back about me, laughing at one of the first bits of feedback I got was that I didn't need to Harvard Reference my essays, telling me that the teachers are quite impressed with me, but also that I am quite quiet and not very forward in putting my hand up in class to answer questions. I pointed out that in media studies the teacher was talking about the Star Wars prequels being released and that I was in the cinema queue when the first one came out in 1977. Sometimes it’s easier for me not to say much.

He said, “Yes, I can understand that and I’m happy to say to anyone that you’re probably just settling in to the new school.” He paused to think about something then said, “And what about your combined science class, how are you finding that?”

I heard a voice in my head tell me it’s a trap. “Well, it’s a long time since I studied a science class and I obviously have a lot of gaps in knowledge, but the reading that was assigned to me before the year started has helped a lot.”

He waited for me to say something, but I’m smart enough to not jump in a hole before I know how deep it is.

“And how are you getting on with the teachers?”

There it is, but is he fishing or does he know something. I said, “I like them, I mean, I hardly know them but they all seem to be very good and the classes are run well.”

“And Mr Alburn?”

“Well he knows about me, and I think he is being kind enough to help by putting me with students who are much better than me, and I know to keep my mouth shut and not hold them back so I don’t impact their future grades.”

“And are you kind to him?”

I was a little upset at that, I will always be kind to him and said so. Then he said, “Hmmm, I visited his classroom yesterday while you were there. You won’t have noticed as you were deep into conversation in some group work, so I need to ask, if you are kind to him, why did you do what you did yesterday.”

I tried to feign ignorance but I could feel my face burning and I must have been glowing like a lightbulb. I went to say something but stopped myself, not sure what I could say, then realising that while I was flashing my pussy at Tom through my tights, Mr Giles saw it as well.

I said, “I’m sorry. I promise we are over, in fact I have a date tonight with a sixth former,” and I saw the surprise on his face at that, “It’s just that this self enforced separation is tough on me. He’s a great friend, more than that even. And while I like John in my class, who’s been great by the way, what I have with him isn’t the same as I have with Tom and I’m hoping my date tonight, I was only asked out today, will help. I know Tom, sorry, Mr Alburn has a date this weekend, and while we both agreed to the need to see others, it’s not always easy. After all, that’s why I’m here, to try and help that.”

He sat there quietly thinking for a moment before he spoke. “Thank you for telling me, I know this has to be difficult for you, but you did promise not to cause any problems, and well, you could have got Mr Alburn into a lot of trouble. Please wear underwear to school in future.”

I looked at him feeling quite guilty, but being asked to wear underwear to school by the principal is quite funny and I started to laugh and he did as well. When we settled down he said, “You know, I always expected you and Tom to keep seeing other in secret.”

I sensed I had my poker face back, but decided to be honest. “Nope. But we still text each other, and we might break our resolve at some point, but he wants me to have a boyfriend and I want him to have a girlfriend.” There, I’m being honest-ish, as we are planning on seeing each other next weekend, but he doesn't need to know that.

He said, “That’s good, I would hate it if one of the teachers suspected something.”

I’m not sure why, I was probably intending it to be a joke, but I said, “I suppose I could offer them a blow job to keep quiet if they suspect it.”

He went bright red, and I realised that yesterday he was suspecting it, and my ‘joke’ that was said with a straight face just made him uncomfortable. And then he shifted in his seat. Oh my god, I just gave my principal a boner.

I thought to myself, ‘fuck it, I’m technically single and we both know I’m an adult.’ I looked at him and crossed my legs, sitting a bit more upright to push my boobs out. And said, “It’s a shame none of them know that it wouldn’t be wrong if they accepted it, but you did make me promise to be a good girl.”

I am really getting the hang of this flirting thing.

He said, “Well, I am glad you have a date, with a sixth former you said?”

“Yeah, but that’s just a trial date for me, I suspect he will be a bit dull and shy like most teenagers. Can I ask a question?” I licked my lips as he nodded and I could tell I was having an effect on him. “Did you suspect something yesterday between me and Tom when you saw me bent over?”

I wanted to put the image in his head, and like all men when the blood is up they have a glass forehead allowing you to see their thoughts. He said, “Well, I mean, seeing you like that…”

I said, “Well it’s lucky you know the truth so I don’t need to offer you a blow job.” And he laughed a little too quickly and a little more uncomfortably than he meant to. I stood up, smoothing out my top and skirt by running my hands down the sides of my body, and said, “Are we likely to be disturbed if I gave you one right now?”

A look crossed his face, clearly concerned about that happening, and also, for just a moment wondering if it’s wrong, so I helped him by saying, “I am an adult and it wouldn't be wrong if you said yes?”

I wanted to know if he would, not because I wanted something to hold it over him, but I’ve gone without sex since I started at the school and I wasn’t expecting to get any until next week. I wanted something, anything, so I stood up and moved towards him, pleased that there was a huge bush outside his window that blocked all views in, and stood next to him leaning back onto his desk as I said, “Please, I would like to.”

He said nothing, just licked his lips with a touch of nerves, but I knew he wasn’t thinking straight right now, so I lowered myself to my knees, putting one hand on his leg and moving in front of him and between his legs, running my hands up them, reaching his belt buckle and I started to undo it. I would be surprised if he had never fantasied about this with an older student, he is a man after all, and now here one was offering it to him.

That evening I was waiting for my date at starbucks, thinking how happy I was that I had sucked the principals cock in his office and swallowed his load, hoping that he will invite me back in a couple of weeks to see how I’m doing. He was quite attentive while I was down there and I kept expecting him to feel guilty and push me off, but as I said afterwards, I’m only sort of a student here, and unlike all the others I can walk out at anytime and there is nothing anyone can do about it. It's my choice to be here, and it’s my choice to do this. But I also thought about Tom. I needed to have a discussion with him about how much we share about our dates with each other, as part of me wants to know how his date goes, and part of me wants to scratch her eyes out. Anyway, my date just arrived and he looks kinda cute and like me he has dressed up a little so lets see how it goes.

So, my earlier date with the sixth former was a bit dull. He was so nervous it was an absolute nightmare to get him to talk to me, and when he nervously took my hand as we left and walked me home. I really didn’t want him to, I wanted to be elsewhere by a very long way, but he was cute in a clueless way. I did kiss him goodbye, and like I said he was nervous but also super aroused and I felt it press against me and I was worried it was going to blow.

The following weekend I was in bed with Tom at his house on Saturday afternoon and we had made love a couple of times already and were just laying there, talking about our dates over the previous week. His went quite well, they went for a drink and chatted about lots of things, and he described her to me. She was 29 and divorced, and all the things he was telling me about her were, well, all the negatives. When he described her hair to me, he talked about how there was a bit that stuck out at ninety degrees and he found himself looking at it a lot, even when she got back from the toilets wondering why she hadn’t brushed it down. He also wasn’t sure if she had put a lot of effort in to get ready for the date, or if she wanted it to look that way.

I stopped playing with his chest hair and said, “You don’t need to worry, I’m not jealous and do understand that we both need to do this. Now tell me what you liked about her?”

He was quiet for a moment before he told me that he actually quite liked that she didn’t look like she over prepared, he enjoyed talking to her and they have been texting a bit while they plan for their next date. I gave him a kiss and said, “Good, I think you deserve to have a date where you can sit in a pub without any fear that someone will report you. I can see it in your eyes sometimes, and I really do understand.”

He gave me a kiss and rolled me on top of him, and while he wasn’t hard, we had already had quite a bit of sex this morning, it was actually really romantic. He said, “But there is one thing I don’t like about her. Yes it is nice to be able to be out and about and not feel those judging eyes on me, but she isn’t you. I miss being able to, well, show off the girl I love to everyone on the planet.”

I lay there with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while I thought it over and said, “Geez, get over yourself. Stalker much!”

He slapped my bottom and I could feel him laughing silently. We fell asleep like that, just laying there and waking up a couple of hours later to a kiss on my forehead. I rolled over and watched Tom get out of bed and pull on a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt, he gave me a smile and walked out heading downstairs, using his head to call me along. I stood up and looked at my clothes on the floor and thought to myself, with all the men that have seen me naked, the one who has seen the least of it is Tom. So I got out of bed and followed him.

I looked for my bag in the living room, taking something out and following him into the kitchen, putting it on as I went. He turned to see me standing there with a playboy bunny mask on and nothing else. He started laughing and said, “I have so many questions right now.” And hugged me giving me a kiss.

I said, “Well, you see, if you’re going on a date, then I think it’s only fair that while we wait till next month, I give you something to help remind you of what you’re missing, and more importantly, that if someone see’s it you won’t get arrested.” And I handed him his phone and did a pose.

He took one photo and said, “One is more than enough for me.”

I wasn’t so sure so I walked into his living room and laid down as seductively as I could on the sofa and said, “Please, take one more.”

He lifted the phone but stopped when his doorbell rang, told me he’ll be back in a second. I sat there waiting while he talked to someone at the door for a couple of minutes, then heard it shut, so I adopted a new pose, a shall we say more welcoming pose using some of my new found flexibility. A man appeared in the room and said, “Oh shit, sorry.”

I turned my head to look and Tom was standing there with a scared look on his face, and if I had been paying attention I would have heard him say more loudly than he needed to ‘we’ll just go into the living room’, but I didn’t, I was trying to turn on my sorta but pretending we aren’t lovers, boyfriend. The reason he looked so scared is the man is my English Lit teacher, and here I am on all fours with my arse in the air pointing at the door.

I jumped to my feet and tried to hide myself, not my nakednesses as he’s seen everything, but hide who I am. I tried to make my voice sound husky and a bit deeper as I said, “Hi, I’m Lauren and me and Tom are fuck buddies. How are you?” Tom let out the breath he had been holding as my English Lit teacher said hi back and looked at Tom, offering to leave. I said, “Why?”

So right now, I’m still quite horny and here’s another man seeing me naked, but my main priority is to protect Tom. And I think I have a plan. I told my English Lit teacher to sit down, and asked Tom to come with me to the kitchen to help me with the drinks. Once in there we had a very quick whispered conversation and he agreed, seeing my point that any other way would risk something blowing up against him. I don’t know if he was happy about it, but he went along with me, and later told me it was more fun than he expected.

I walked back into the living room carrying a bottle of beer for my English Lit teacher, handed it to him, but never let go as he pulled it towards himself, using it as a way for him to pull me in as I straddle his lap. “Any buddy of Tom’s is a friend of mine.”

I took a sip of his beer, leant in and kissed him, letting the beer fall from my mouth into his, and could feel him respond between my legs. Tom left us alone and I started to unbutton his shirt as we kissed, feeling his hand reach for my back and slide down to my bum and legs. I think he was a bit nervous to touch me, so I took his hands and put them on my boobs as I put his beer out of the way, then reached for him. I needed to be quick to make this work.

He went to remove my mask but I moved in for a kiss to make sure it stayed in place as I took his cock out. It was a decent size, smaller than Tom but bigger than my last date. Yes, I had a feel, I’m not proud of it, but it is kinda the point for me to go to school.

Anyway, while I was horny, I also wanted to protect Tom, not hurt him, so while he felt my boobs up a little clumsily and I stroked his cock, I tried to encourage him to kiss and lick my boobs. I wasn’t really getting a lot of pleasure of this, my mind wasn’t focused on the moment and the please like with Tom, I was being quite detached and making sure that what happened is what I wanted and nothing more.

When he finally started licking my nipples, one of his hands made it way down my stomach, and his fingers found their way inside me. I looked over my shoulder and Tom had come back and while moaning in my English Lit teachers ear, I used my eyes to tell Tom to take a seat next to us. I leant my head backward and he followed me, keeping my nipples in his mouth making me wonder if he was breast fed the way he is gong for it, but I kept laying backwards, so he had to lean back and let his fingers do the walking.

I could see Tom watching us, and I tried to get him to put a stop to this with my eyes, trying to send the signal but he was smiling as he looked at me. Enough was enough, I felt I had made the point and now he should be ready to talk without throwing a wobbly, but instead, as I sat back up to begin faking an orgasm, he beat me too it, shooting his seed first over my stomach and breasts, but because I sat up I got a fair bit of coverage over my vagina. I thought to myself, ‘fuck it’. I had asked Tom with my eyes to enact out hasty plan, but he didn’t, so I pushed down and his cock entered me as it was still humming, getting at least two good squirts of cum inside me.

As I slowed down met fake orgasm and my English Lit teacher stayed inside me as he came down from his high, Tom said, “She’s good isn’t she Brendan?”

My English Lit teacher, apparently with the first name of Brendan said, “Jesus, no wonder you tried to get rid of me. Lauren, you’re awesome.”

I said using my normal voice, “Thanks, but that’s not my name.” And I took the mask off. He looked at me with a smile on his face, and as recognition slowly faded in. I said, “Hello sir, I’m not moving until you listen to us both.”

I pushed myself down to make sure his flagging erection didn’t slide out of me, almost sucking him in. Of course he panicked a little, but slowly we got him to listen and explain who I am and my story, why I’m at school and that he hasn’t broken any laws. He did shrink a bit at the start of the explanation, but once he started to believe us, well, let’s just say it’s not everyday your English teachers cock grows inside you. I said, “But me and Tom are breaking an agreement we made with Mr Giles, to not see each other while at I was at school.”

He looked at Tom and said, “Jason knows?”

Tom nodded and I said, “I’m going to get off you now. Can you hand me those tissues please?”

I was really worried about his cum instantly falling out of me, and well, this is embarrassing enough already. As I climbed off him I looked at Tom and mouthed that I was sorry, but he gave me a smile and mouthed back that it was ok. So the outcome of mine and Tom’s first once a month get together ended up with me giving myself to another man to protect the man I love. I thought to myself, I have definitely seen that movie a few times!

And it turns out the man I love quite enjoyed watching me, and before Brendan left I decided I wanted to try a spit roast. It was ok, but later that evening when Tom and I talked about it we agreed it was fun, but lets wait to explore this again. While I was ok with being with him and another man, exploring the idea of threesomes, with both men and women, but right now the only women I know definitely aren’t available for that kind of thing.

Anyway, our interlude with each other was over for a few weeks and school life carried on, but at least my English Lit teacher wasn’t being creepy after what happened and was happy to let me just on with my work in class. But I also had a second date with the sixth former, which became a third date, and that raised an question I googled in the toilets of the cinema. There’s hardly a lot of places teens can go for dates.

I searched for an answer to “at what age is a third date a third date?”

As an adult I know that a third date is likely the time we would have sex, but is that true now? I know that more and more kids are sexually active when younger, but what is the etiquette around this? I decided to see what happens and take his lead, which in itself is funny as he’s a teen boy and it’s not like I don’t know what leads a teen boy. I walked out the cinema and looked back at my date and knew the look that crossed his face too well.

I will say that being kissed and fingered up against a wall out of sight of those walking past wasn’t the worst experience in my life, in fact it was quite nice. He wasn’t very skilled, but he wasn’t stabbing away at my insides like he was completely clueless and he almost found my clit a few times. At least fingering me stopped him from trying to find my tonsils with his tongue.

There’s some potential to work with here, maybe I can improve him for other girls in the future, but I decided to end it on the fifth date with a blow job, and he seemed happy with that.

School continued and the level of homework and expectations put on us slowly increased and I felt sorry for those in school today. The pressure is quite high so I’m not surprised they ‘crack’ every now and then and go a bit over the top in their free time. I quite enjoyed teasing Brendan every now and then, or Mr Hughes as I normally call him, but then I had to threaten him with silence by saying if I heard a single rumour about the truth of who I am or any risk to Tom, I would start telling the girls at school that he keeps looking at me inappropriately. The fear on his face told me I got the message across, and he never asked for a repeat of our threesome. Besides, I wasn’t ready yet for the thing he wanted to do to me that evening, and him trying to do it without asking permission to slip up my bum pissed me off.

My school friend John was a funny one though, he was clearly into girls as I would catch him looking at other girls as well as me sometimes, and while I tried to set him up on dates, his nerves got the better of talking to them, and I couldn’t understand it. None of the girls had the confidence to jump past his nerves and and help him out by asking him out, even though they knew he was trying to ask and I felt very sorry for him. I had hoped that him talking to us socially would help him get over it, but the nerves I witnessed when we first met were still there.

But the time came for Tom to come round to mine for our next rendezvous just before the end of the half term break, and we always seem to jump into bed with other to help satisfy our passion before we talk about the more serious stuff. I talked about John and his nerves, trying to get some input from him and he said the same that I was thinking, he’s just nervous and will either get over it during university or never get over it. It did worry me as he was a genuine friend and I wanted to help, but every time I see that he wants to ask a girl out, no matter what I do he can’t say it and even telling the girls he is going to ask first the still don’t suggest it themselves.

We lay in bed chatting to each other when the doorbell went and I heard Jane open it and talk to someone and the voices sounded like teenage girls. I looked at Tom and his eyes were as wide as mine as we scrambled out of bed and pulled on clothes when Jane walked in as we were getting dressed. She saw Tom, gave me a smile and a look that I knew only too well as he pulled up his pants and covered up, and said, “Some of your friends are in the kitchen raiding the fridge. Tom, stay here and be quiet till she gets them to her other bedroom.”

She threw a can of deodorant at me saying to be quick, and I finished getting ready and sprayed myself down hoping to hide the smell of sex till I get rid of them. Heading downstairs I joined the girls in the kitchen, trying to remember if I had invited them around, but they said they were passing and thought they would drop in. Once everyone had some snacks and a can of soft drink, I took them up to the attic room, hoping it wasn’t too dusty as I hadn’t checked it for a few weeks and walking in I reminded myself how grateful I am for Jane. She had arranged everything like it was a film set, clothes strewn around, a few glasses and had even made the bed a bit messy to look like I hadn’t made it. If anything it looked like I had just left it and my school laptop was open but turned off on the bed.

While we were chatting away about music and as always I tried to keep up with them on the latest bands, I put the music on that I really like, some good and classic stuff from the eighties and nineties, giving them an explainer of who they are and what makes Pearl Jam just as good as Nirvana. All the time I was listening carefully to see if I could hear Tom leave, and desperately sad I that I was missing giving him a kiss goodbye.

When they left around 8pm, I went back to my real bedroom and laid on the bed which still smelled like Tom. I picked up my phone and sent a quick message saying how sorry I was, but he said it was ok. God I miss him so much and I’ve still got until July to put up with this, and the risk of losing him. I fell asleep crying, with Jane laying next to me reminding me that I’m doing this not just for me, but also for him. And she’s right, I am doing this for him as well. I need to physically grow up to be with him, and I’m dreading next week as there’s a school trip as part of my media studies course to London at an art gallery, and Tom is one of the teacher chaperones.

It will be a nightmare for me. My old company did the marketing for the gallery, so I’m scared that it will feel like two worlds colliding.