In a St. Louis hotel ballroom, the camera flashed as the news photographer snapped a picture of Annie LaPorte at the dais receiving her Halfelven Community Service Award. Most of the audience clapped politely, though a certain percentage actually cheered. The award was honoring her for a project she had initiated to improve conditions in the neighborhood where she worked. It had brought many diverse people together, and ended up being more than the sum of its parts… it had turned into a huge success.

Annie really didn’t want to accept the award, but her wife, Lillie, had worked hard to persuade her. “I just have a feeling it’s important,” was all she would say on the matter. Annie very much preferred to stay out of the spotlight. The whole spectacle made her uncomfortable. In fact she told the committee that while she would agree to accept the award she would not make a speech.

Once the ceremony was over she and Lillie left as quickly as they possibly could without seeming to be rude.

“Thank god that’s over,” she said to Lillie, on the way back home. “Now life can go back to normal!”

“Yes, dear,” said Lillie, patting her hand.

-o0o-

The next morning, hundreds of miles away, in a modest home in Chicago, Charles and Eleanor Bartlett had just arisen and sat down to a quiet breakfast. They each took a portion of the newspaper, as usual. Charles was just starting on the financial section when his wife gasped and dropped her coffee cup on the table.

“Oh my goodness!!” she exclaimed.

“What? What’s the matter?” asked Charles.

She handed over the folded paper, and got up to get a rag to mop up the coffee with.

He looked at the article, but didn’t recognize the name. It was about this woman, Annie LaPorte, who had organized neighbors and hunted up places to donate food to needy kids and families, so she had received a Community Service Award. He looked up at Eleanor questioningly.

“Look at the picture,” she said.

He spent some time studying the photo of a woman receiving an award. Then it hit him.

“My god… Is that… are you sure?”

“As sure as I can be with that name, dear.”

His shoulders sagged. “Maybe we’ll finally be able to make this right,” he said.

-o0o-

Twenty-one years earlier, in the Bartlett living room

“You’re a what?”

Standing in front of his parents, who were sharing the sofa, Billy sighed to himself and repeated, “I’m a woman in a man’s body, dad.”

“That’s a load of bullcrap, Billy,” Charles said irritably. “What have you been reading, or smoking lately?”

“Dad, all my life I’ve known I haven’t fit in as a boy and man, and it has made me miserable. I can hardly stand to look at myself. So… I, I’ve been to see a doctor and have had a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder. I’m… just not going to live like that anymore.”

“A quack doctor, obviously! Are you some kind of damned pervert? Just want to look at women in public restrooms?” His voice was getting louder.

“You’re not listening! It’s killing me to try and act like a man. I have to get this fixed.” Although outwardly calm, Billy was inwardly shaking in his boots during this whole scene.

“Not in this household, boy. If you plan to change yourself into a woman, you can just get the hell out of here!” said Charles, his face turning red and a forehead vein beginning to throb. He wouldn’t hit his son, but this kind of depraved and silly idea really made him angry.

Billy had, unfortunately, been expecting this. He turned to his mother, with the faintest scrap of hope left. “Do you feel the same way, mom?”

“Well of course I do, Billy. This goes against everything your father and I believe in! I can’t understand how you could even think this way after the way we raised you.”

“Well, I’m sorry you both feel this way. I had hoped my own parents would have supported me.”

“We’re not your parents anymore! Get out!!” yelled Charles.

-o0o-

Billy Bartlett sadly walked out the door and left his childhood home forever. He had loved his parents, but wasn’t surprised at the exchange. It had taken every bit of courage to speak to them about it, but he knew already that they were just too two-dimensional in their thinking to be able to understand. Knowing this he had prepared ahead of time, so he wasn’t walking away with nothing. He’d even packed his car the night before, so sure was he of the outcome. It still really hurt, though.

What gave him the most pain was the thought of leaving his little sister, Kathy, who was just twelve, nine years younger than he. He was utterly devoted to her, but it was a no-brainer to realize the parents wouldn’t be allowing her any access to him, and vice versa. He suspected he would never see any of them again. Before the confrontation he had written a short note to Kathy, which he’d left under her pillow. It had been heartbreaking even to write.

To the best little sister in the world,

Kathy, something has come up and I need to go away. I’m not sure when we will see each other again, but I want you to know I will always love you.

Your loving sibling, BB

He got in the packed car and drove for close to ten minutes, pulling over when he found his emotions rising. His breathing had become erratic and his vision blurred. Stopping the car, he leaned his head on the steering wheel and let the pain out in giant, racking sobs. When they finally lessened he pulled himself together and fiercely told himself, ‘I will survive this!’

-o0o-

St. Louis was his destination, not for any particular reason, but he just couldn’t see staying in the same city as his parents after their rejection. Once there he had no trouble getting a job in his field, as he’d graduated college at the top of his class. Soon he found a place to live, saw the appropriate doctors and got himself started on the road to becoming Annie, his real self for as long as he could remember. LaPorte was simply a name that appealed to him/her. The French sound attracted her, and there was no good reason to keep the Bartlett name now.

As time passed she settled down, and tried to forget about her lost family, because it still hurt too much to think of them. It was during her Real Life Test that she met and fell in love with Lillie Clement, an intelligent and redheaded beauty. They met in a diner close to both their places of business and ended up sitting together because the place was packed. There was an instant attraction between them, and very quickly in their relationship Annie confessed to Lillie what she was going through. By what seemed to her like a miracle Lillie was somehow able to accept her for who she was – the inner person. Her love was like a soothing balm on the wounds of her parents’ rejection. As they got more serious about each other, marriage seemed inevitable. Lillie asked her to save her sperm before she started HRT, in case they wanted children.

They were married right before Annie’s sexual reassignment surgery. Four years later they did decide to have children, and they had a girl and a boy a couple of years apart. Theirs was a loving and accepting family. It made Annie feel incapable of understanding how you could reject the flesh of your flesh the way her parents had; she felt such love for her kids.

-o0o-

In Chicago, things weren’t so happy. Both Charles and Eleanor felt terrible about the loss of their son. How he could think of doing something so…wrong, so against nature(!) was just beyond them. People were men or they were women; there was no in-between sex. That first awful night they almost expected him to come crawling back and renounce his insane plan. But the night came and went with no word.

As the weeks, and then months passed they still keenly felt his absence, though they never talked about it, not even to each other. Every holiday rammed it home to them that a family member was missing. When Kathy had asked about Billy, they wouldn’t tell her anything other than that he had moved out of the country. “But why would he just leave without saying goodbye?” She was devastated, but her parents couldn’t bring themselves to tell her the awful truth.

Eleanor, especially, often wondered how Billy was getting along. Her imagination wouldn’t allow her to think of him as a woman, so in her head he was still her son, traipsing around only god-knew-where, like a hobo. She and Charles kept this heartache to themselves, but every year that went by made them feel worse about what they had done.

-o0o-

About ten years after the schism in the family occurred, they happened to be at a family get-together in Evanston at the large house of one of the wealthier cousins. Charles’ first cousin, Frank, and his wife, Angie, were in attendance, and they began to talk about the accomplishments of their daughter, Gabrielle. Charles and Eleanor were confused.

“I didn’t know you had a daughter, Frank.”

“We didn’t. Gabrielle used to be our son, Gary.”

After a moment, Frank continued. “I can see you’re both stunned, or perhaps even disgusted, but Gary was so unhappy as a boy that he became suicidal. Rather than lose our child, we decided to support her, and help her become the much happier woman she is now. There was such a disconnect in her brain between who she felt she was and how she felt about her body. It was causing her severe depression.”

Angie added, “Now we couldn’t be more proud of the woman she’s become. Put simply, we love our child, no matter the gender.”

This news hit Charles and Eleanor like a thunderbolt. Not only had someone else in the family experienced the same situation they had, they had actually helped their boy to become a girl! Until now they hadn’t exactly thought they had handled Billy’s situation poorly, but they had always respected Frank and Angie quite a lot. If they had handled this so well and so openly, what did that say about Charles and Eleanor? After ten years they were still hurting from the Billy-shaped hole in their family life. Could they have handled it differently? Been a little more understanding? Gotten Billy some kind of help? Whatever it was, it slowly came to them that they were sadly lacking in the love and acceptance department.

They left the gathering in a very subdued state, and the drive home was in silence.

That evening the two of them sat in the living room. The television was off, and they were both just thinking. Eleanor turned to her husband and for the first time in ten years talked about the tragedy of their lives. “Charles, I have always felt that Frank and Angie were good people, with good judgment. And I’m sorry to say I believe we made a dreadful mistake. I would truly hate to think Billy felt so bad that he might have killed himself rather than go on living what he thought was a lie. He did say he couldn’t stand to look at himself… I wish we had been a little more understanding, at the very least gotten him some help.… And I’m really feeling terrible about our lack of love for our own child,” she said, crying now.

They discussed the issue on and off for a week, feeling worse about themselves the longer they talked. On the one hand, the knee-jerk reaction they had was to simply find the whole thing deplorable. On the other hand, where was the human and humane factor for their own child?

“I have to agree with you, Ellie. We were tested and found wanting. But the damage has been done. We haven’t heard one peep out of him for ten years. Assuming he went ahead and became a woman, we don’t even know what his—I mean her—name is. How can we even apologize?”

-o0o-

Over the next eleven years Charles and Eleanor tried to find out what had happened to Billy, but they had no idea where he had gone, or if he had even left the Chicago area. There was just nothing to grab on to with which to start a search. Internet searches for Billy or William Bartlett turned up nothing useful at all. (Unknown to them Kathy, now an adult, had fruitlessly tried the same searches on her own.) They both felt the crushing burden of having thrown their child out, with no way to make up for it.

The couple learned more about what was now called Gender Dysphoria, and about male-to-female transsexuals. They attended a seminar for families about the subject and learned some disheartening statistics. The factor that hit them the hardest was finding out that things went so much better for the individual if they had the love and support of their family, which made the two of them feel even more guilty than they already felt.

They met cousin Gabrielle at another family gathering, and found her to be a delightful young woman. They could barely remember Gary, who had been a silent and somewhat sullen young boy. They didn’t tell anyone how they had treated their own child. Over the years they had simply told others who asked that Billy had gone to live overseas, because it would have been too embarrassing to say what really had happened.

-o0o-

And then one day, years later, there was the article in the paper, about someone named Annie LaPorte. Eleanor went into the computer in the den and got online to discover that Ms. LaPorte had gone to the same university that Billy had attended, and also like Billy, had graduated summa cum laude the same year as he. Since that time she had gotten a masters degree at Washington University. She was in the same line of work that Billy had been heading for. There wasn’t much more information, but there was a nice head shot of a smiling, attractive, brunette-haired woman, and Eleanor could just tell that was her child.

Tears dripped from her eyes as she whispered, “I’m so sorry. I can tell just from the picture that you are a much happier person now. And I’m so proud of you for that award.”

-o0o-

Now that they knew in what city Billy… well, they should get used to calling her Annie, lived, they asked Eleanor’s nephew, Jason, a real computer whiz, to see if he could find a home address for her. Trying to locate people online was very confusing, not only because of duplicate names, but many times multiple addresses were shown. Jason had the knowledge to pick out the current address, and he did.

Once they had this important information they sat together at the kitchen table to discuss the next step or steps.

“Ellie, how do you think we should approach this? She may not want anything to do with us.”

“That’s possible, but I’m going to try and imagine a more positive response. I’m thinking one thing we should not do is to just show up at her door.”

“No, you’re right about that. It could be extremely awkward. What if we sent flowers?”

Eleanor thought a moment. “Yes, they could be an olive branch as well as a congratulations for the award.”

“I like it. We don’t want to cause her any trouble, if she’s still angry at us.”

They opted for the flowers-first approach. Together they wrote a brief note:

Dear Annie,
We can’t tell you how incredibly proud of you we are for earning the Halfelven award.

We can never apologize enough for the terrible way we treated you, and hope you will accept these flowers as a peace offering. It may not seem like it, but we do love you, Annie.

Your parents, E&C Bartlett

They included their shared e-mail address, their phone number, and sent the flowers, hoping for the best.

-o0o-

Annie happened to be home when the flowers were delivered. Lillie brought them in and handed her the card, addressed simply to Annie LaPorte. She was standing in the living room when she opened the card, but she practically fell into the nearby chair when she read the message.

Lillie looked at her, and was surprised to see tears streaming down her face.

“What is it, love?”

She couldn’t speak, but handed Lillie the card.

“Oh my,” she said, and sat down herself. “What could have changed their minds?”

“Who knows?” she said, when she found her voice. “I want to be mad that it took them twenty-one years to say they’re sorry, but I understand they had no way of knowing where I was. It seems like such a waste, all these lost years.”

“How in the world did they find out where you live?”

“I suppose they must have seen that picture in the paper of me getting the award, although I’m not sure how they knew it was me. And I can’t really understand why it would have run in the Tribune.”

“Maybe this is why I thought it was important for you to accept it!”

Annie smiled halfheartedly at her.

“Do you want to see them?”

“I’m…I’m just not sure at this point. I’d kind of like to have some kind of dialog with them before I even think about meeting them.”

“That sounds like a wise idea, dear.”

They smiled at each other. They really were each other’s rock.

-o0o-

“Dear Parents,

Needless to say, your flowers came as a huge shock, but thank you.

I would like to ask what changed your minds about me, because this is quite an about-face.

I know I’m to blame for being hard to find, but frankly, I never expected to hear from either of you again.

Tell me how you both are, and tell me about my sister, Kathy. I doubt she even remembers me, but she was the best little sister anyone could have.

Annie”

.

“Dear Annie,

We were thrilled to get your e-mail. Thank you for not rejecting us out of hand, though we may deserve it.

You ask what changed our minds. Partly it was time, and the feeling we had made a very rash and emotional decision based on ignorance, and mostly it was meeting other transgender people and learning how little we knew. All this forced us to rethink our attitudes, and it made us realize how badly we failed you when you needed us the most. That happened about eleven years ago, and if we had had any way to search for you then, we would have done so.

Kathy never forgot you, dear. She is a fine young woman, single and with a responsible job here in Chicago. We have admitted to her how cruel we were to you, and I’m afraid we almost lost her then. However, she was able to forgive us, thank god, and we have given her your e-mail address.

And thank you for asking – your father and I are well, and are both very close to retiring.

Your parents, E&C Bartlett”

.

“Dearest sister Annie,

I just cannot believe what mom and dad did to you! I couldn’t understand why you were suddenly gone, and they wouldn’t tell me what happened to you. It was as if you had died! I missed you SO much and I am SO happy to know you’re alive and well. I can’t wait to see you! Will you come to visit? They said you live in St. Louis. That’s only like a four or five hour drive.

Please call me at 312-555-7438 so we can talk!

Love, Kathy”

-o0o-

Annie found both these letters just amazing. Her parents were contrite and admitted their fault; her sister remembered her and wanted to see her! Who could have predicted any of this?

She had never hated her parents. She had been aware of their limitations when she came out to them, and was pretty sure that being disowned was a foregone conclusion. Resenting them would have made it hard for her to move forward in her new life—it would have been a burden that she had decided she was unwilling to shoulder.

So, being of a forgiving heart, the next thing she would need to do would be to tell them she was married and that they were grandparents. She scanned a recent family photo and attached it to her next e-mail, in which she signed herself as “your daughter.”

“Dear Folks,

The attached photo shows my dear wife, Lillie, with me, and your two grandchildren, Stacia and Peter. Stacia is 14, and Peter is 12.

At this time I have many commitments, but possibly we can meet during the summer, or at the holidays.

Your daughter, Annie”

To say that Eleanor and Charles were stunned and elated to find they were grandparents would be putting it mildly. They were even more stunned to find out their daughter had married a woman. It had somehow never occurred to them that Annie would marry, let alone marry a woman. And they could see family resemblance in their grandchildren, which confused them until they recalled a lecture at the seminar, which had mentioned freezing one’s sperm.

-o0o-

Annie had a very joyous catch-up phone call with her sister, Kathy, who was very anxious to see her.

“What if I drove down this weekend? I could take Friday afternoon off and be there by dinnertime. Would that be okay?”

“Kathy, I would love to see you. You’re welcome here any time, and if you want you can stay in our spare bedroom.”

“Then expect me in three days! I can’t wait!”

-o0o-

Annie and Lillie had some explaining to do to their children, who knew nothing about Annie’s parents. They all sat down in the den and Annie told them she had just heard from their grandparents.

“But where have they been all this time, Mom?” asked Stacia.

“They’ve been in Chicago, where I’m from, but we fell out of touch years ago, before you were born, and they didn’t know how to find me until my picture was in the paper.”

Stacia wouldn’t connect the dots until a couple of years later, when it occurred to her that her mom could have contacted the parents.

“Oh. Will we see them?”

“Not for a little while, honey. There’s too much going on right now to make the trip.”

“Did you ever meet them, Mama,” Peter asked Lillie.

“No, I never did. It’ll be a new experience for us three.”

“You’d better include me in that too, Lillie. These people hardly sound like the same parents I remember,” said Annie, shaking her head.

-o0o-

Kathy arrived in St. Louis near dinnertime on Friday. She climbed on to the front stoop and Annie met her at the door, where the two sisters just looked at each other. “Little” Kathy, now thirty-three, had an inch or two on her sister. She looked trim and fabulous to Annie’s eyes, and reminded her of a young picture of their grandmother. Kathy saw an older woman in pretty decent shape, who still looked good, and she still had the same kind expression Kathy remembered from her girlhood. She hadn’t the slightest problem mentally merging this woman with her childhood friend and brother. Without a word they fell into each other’s arms and started crying.

After waiting several minutes, Lillie came to the door and said, “For goodness sakes, dear, bring her inside so she can meet the rest of us!”

Annie led Kathy inside holding her hand. “Kids, this is my sister, Kathy, your long-lost aunt. Kathy, I’d like to introduce Stacia and Peter, and my wife, Lillie.”

Hugs were given to Lillie, Stacia, and even Peter allowed one.

After they brought Kathy’s things in and up to her room, dinner was ready. Annie could hardly keep her eyes dry; having her little sister there with her meant so much. Little things about her were familiar, even in the grown-up version. The two of them sat together after the meal, and Annie explained how the separation had occurred.

“Sadly, I did expect them to react the way they did, Kathy. I was all packed and ready to leave when I made my speech to them. Dad rejected me out of hand, and was getting angry. Mom said she agreed with him. But as I walked out of the house the last time I felt the saddest about you. I didn’t know what, if anything they would tell you, but I did know they would try their best to keep me from contacting you.”

“Oh, Annie. I’m so sorry you had to go through everything all alone. Thank you for leaving that note; I still have it. I know I was just a kid, but I would have been there for you. You were the best big brother—or maybe you really were my sister then too.”

“I was, but I wasn’t allowed to show it. And I didn’t actually have to go through it all alone; my Lillie was and is my incredible helpmate. She was there for me.

“I’m so sorry I missed so many of your life events—your graduations…”

“Stop, Annie. I know you aren’t to blame. I missed you so much, and I am just so happy to see you again.”

Annie put her hand on top of Kathy’s and looked her in the eye, smiling. “And I’m so happy to see you again too, kid. I’m proud of you; you really seem to have your head screwed on straight. I guess the folks did a good job with you.

“So, tell me more about your life. You’re thirty-two and single. Are you interested in getting married at some point?”

“I am, but I just haven’t met the right guy yet.”

They both rolled their eyes at this cliché.

-o0o-

The visit went very well. They enjoyed their time together catching up, and on little things they both remembered. The family drove Kathy around the sites of St. Louis, including the remaining 1904 World’s Fair buildings. Naturally they took her downtown to the Mississippi to see the famous Gateway Arch. All too soon it was Sunday, and she drove home. It was so wonderful to reconnect with Kathy…

Meeting her parents was on Annie’s mind a lot. She did and didn’t want to see them. It was lovely that they had had this change of heart, but it was hard for her to forget their last words to her: “We’re not your parents anymore! Get out!” She hadn’t thought of that in years, but now it seemed fresh in her mind. Still, she knew it was in the cards that they would be meeting face to face. There had been more e-mails and several phone calls between St. Louis and Chicago, as they slowly got to know each other again. But she still wondered - could she bear to set foot in the old house again?

“We’ll be with you, love,” said Lillie. “We’ll be your moral backup.”

“Then I guess I have nothing to worry about,” she answered, trying to convince herself.

-o0o-

Two weeks before school started, the Clement-LaPortes drove to Chicago. After checking in at a hotel and refreshing themselves, Lillie drove them to the old Bartlett family home, and parked the car in front. They sat there for a few minutes, as Annie gazed at the house she had walked out of twenty-one years before. So many memories tied up in the old place. She took a very deep breath, blew it out and opened the door.

The family got out and stretched themselves. Then they all went up the walkway and the front stairs. Peter glanced at his mothers and pressed the doorbell button. The door opened soon enough. Both parents stood there. Not having seen them for over twenty years Annie was a little shocked at their older appearance. It made her wonder how easy those last two decades had been for them.

“We are SO glad you could come. Welcome, everyone, please come in,” greeted Eleanor.

They trooped in and Lillie performed the introductions. Eleanor and Charles were happy to meet everyone, but they really only had eyes for Annie. Though they knew what to expect it was still a huge shock to see their former son in person, looking like a mature woman.

Though she was preoccupied with the greetings, Annie was looking around the room, almost unconsciously taking in the changes in décor and colors since she was last there. It wasn’t all that different. She wished it was.

“Annie, would you mind if I gave you a hug?” asked her mother timidly.

She smiled and opened her arms. This was a big deal for them both.

“I’m so sorry, dear,” Eleanor whispered. “We just were not able to understand at the time.”

“I know, mom. I know.”

They held on to each other for another minute.

When they broke the hug her mother held her at arm’s length and said, “You look wonderful, Annie.” (She had in mind a sensitivity training session cautioning against saying something like, “gee, for a man you make a nice-looking woman,” or “I would never have guessed.” She also could sense that Annie was nervous about this meeting.)

“Thanks, mom. That means a lot.”

Her father was a bit more unsure of how to greet her, but she just went and gave him a hug. He tensed up but almost immediately relaxed.

“Welcome home, Annie,” he said, a bit huskily. “Thank you so much for forgiving us. Um, Kathy will be here shortly.”

“Would anyone like some refreshments?” asked Eleanor, aiming for a bit of distraction.

They all filed into the dining room, where food and drink were arranged on the table, buffet style.

In a few minutes Kathy walked in and the sisters hugged. The way Annie clung to her told Kathy she was nervous.

There was general chitchat as they all ate their meals, with everyone joining in. Eleanor tried to get Annie to tell them about the project that led to the Halfelven Award, but she deflected, saying, “Oh, I’ll tell you about that some other time.” She didn’t want all the attention focused on her. Instead she encouraged her children to tell their “new” grandparents about their lives and schooling.

-o0o-

Annie was feeling ambivalent about her parents. They had already apologized by letter, but she didn’t feel she could face an entire emotional apology in person, and she was afraid it was coming. Though it didn’t make much sense, deep down she was afraid of being hurt again. Those scars were deep, but they were still there. She arranged to keep busy with Kathy and Lillie, and not allow herself to be drawn into a private meeting with her parents. She just couldn’t. And soon enough it was time for the family to go back to their hotel. The goodbyes were sincere and friendly, but both Eleanor and Charles realized she had avoided talking with them alone.

As the couple waved goodbye to the family, Charles asked, “Do you think she’s still unhappy with us, Ellie? I really wanted to give her a sincere apology in person.”

“I didn’t get that feeling, Charles. But even as a boy she didn’t enjoy emotional scenes, or having a lot of attention on her.”

“Mom, Dad, I think she just wants to move on, and leave the past where it belongs,” said Kathy, who had overheard their brief conversation. “She knows you’re sorry, and that you feel badly for your past actions, but she came here, didn’t she? That couldn’t have been easy for her.”

“You’re right, dear. We just don’t feel like we have atoned.”

“Mom, there is nothing at all you can do to get back those lost years. You just have to be the best parents you can be under the current conditions.”

“I just feel so bad. Most of who she is now, how life affected her, how it molded her into who she is now, happened without us. I’m sorry to say it was a bit like she was a stranger. Didn’t you feel that way, Kathy?”

“Actually, no. For me, we reconnected right away. Who she is now felt so familiar to me. You’re going to have to get to know her as the person she is now.”

Eleanor sighed. “You’re right, honey. The person I saw was every inch a woman, and the way she interacted with her children left no doubt about that. I guess that’s part of what’s making me feel she is a stranger. She left a boy, and came back a mature woman.”

“Mom,” said Kathy, “you need to ignore the packaging and look at the inner person. Inside she’s still the same kind-hearted, giving person she was when she lived in this house.”

-o0o-

That night, as Eleanor lay in bed, she thought about little Billy. He was a gentle and kind-hearted child. He had no close male buddies growing up, but was friends with some of the girls in the neighborhood. He helped some of them with their homework, since he was such a smart kid. He didn’t complain about his chores, or if she’d ask him for help with some task or other. When he was old enough he took such a wonderful interest in his new baby sister and always helped with her. He really never gave them any trouble. He was, in short, a good kid.

True, he did kind of pull into himself as he became a teenager. At the time she just thought that was normal male teenaged behavior, but in retrospect she could see his dysphoria was probably beginning to trouble him. Now that she could see this, she was sad all over again that this was something he didn’t feel he could come to his parents about. And, regretfully, he was right not to do so. Back then they probably would have gotten angry and tried to get him ‘cured.’ Oh, what a mess that would have been. She was so very grateful for how things were turning out, and that she and Charles had come to their senses, been given the chance to make things right. Their daughter seemed to be a very fine woman, one to be very proud of. She just felt… as though the things that made her such a fine person had nothing to do with them, and it was a heartache she’d have to bear as the price for their long-ago actions.

-o0o-

The next day the little family was up early, and they drove around her old neighborhood so Annie could show them her old schools and places she remembered. Then they parked and took the El* downtown so they could visit the Art Institute and an all-too-brief visit to the Museum of Science and Industry, which Annie had loved as a child. The kids loved it too, and Annie enjoyed showing them.

They met her parents and Kathy at a restaurant for dinner, and while Kathy and the children talked she briefly told her parents how she began the project that led to the award.

“I started noticing kids around the neighborhood where I work who looked like they hadn’t had a good meal in ages, and so I organized a way to have food donated for them, and a place for them to eat it. Once they were aware of it, more neighbors joined in, and kids, as well as some poor families were fed. That’s all.”

“That’s ALL?,” said Eleanor. “You just literally saved a bunch of lives, and you say, “That’s all? That sounds amazing to me, as well as heroic.”

Annie blushed. “But I really didn’t want the award,” she said.

Both parents were startled.

“But why not?” her father asked.

“It was just a project I did to help some people. It didn’t deserve any special recognition. And I don’t really like being in the spotlight.”

“I disagree, love, as you know,” said Lillie. “You worked very hard, brought about positive change, and earned every bit of that award.”

“Lillie, I think we will just have to agree to disagree on this,” she smiled.

“Well, we are thankful that you accepted it, since otherwise I don’t know how in the world we would have found you,” said Eleanor.

“Amen,” said Charles.

“Okay, that part I’m glad for as well,” Annie admitted. And, considering it now, she actually was happy that she had been able to reconnect with her parents. She had been so used to life without them that they had become frozen in time at that last, awful moment, and had then receded into a gloomy past. (Kathy occupied an entirely different place in her mind!) Now she was surprised to find she could think about them without the associated pain.

-o0o-

They all drove back to the Bartlett home after the meal, and Eleanor managed to have a private word with Annie.

“I just want you to know I am so proud of you. You seem like a very fine person, but I feel like I really had almost nothing to do with it.”

“That’s not true, mom. You raised me with the values that I still live by—well, aside from your early ideas about gender! Never think that you didn’t have an effect on me.”

“Thank you, Annie,” she said, putting her hand on Annie’s cheek. “That’s very kind of you.”

-o0o-

When it was time to say goodbye, Annie hugged her mother warmly.

Eleanor noticed, and said, “Something has changed for you, dear, hasn’t it.”

“Yes, you’re right.” She paused. “Finally I was able to let go of the misery that was always there every time I thought of you.”

Eleanor choked up, but managed to say, “That means more to me than I can tell you. Thank you.”

“And thank you, for reaching out to me. I was completely unable to imagine this ever happening.”

Eleanor hugged her tighter. She shut her eyes and silently thanked god for this moment.

The End.

*Elevated train