Dang tears, they seem to come at the worst times. We sat on the bench just outside of the changing rooms, and I didn't care if others saw me or not. I was happy, and I am a girl, and I had a right to cry whereever I wanted to, for whatever reason. Bobbie sat on one side of me, and Cindy on the other. They held me from both sides, to show they were very serious about being there for me.
 

What Mother Didn't Know
Chapter Thirteen
Susan gets good news
By Barbara Lynn Terry
 

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Mr. Marks put his finger to his lips, telling us not to say anything. When we got outside in his car, he turned to me.

"Sue, all this means is, that we will have to come back after you have your physical. You lucked out in getting Judge Reynolds, because she is very fair, and she will want you to say something when she is through with everyone else. It's like in an adult court, where the defendant speaks last. But here, we not only have a chance, but what she saw with you in her chambers, means that we have already won. She just wants the physical examination report, so that the public defender can't counter what the doctor will say in the report. I know James Connors, and he will try anything once. I did all I could from laughing when he told the judge I had hypnotized her. That was really funny. Tell you what, I said we were going out to eat after court. Where do you want to go, Sue?"

"How about IHOP? I like eating there."

"IHOP it is. Susan, you are going to have to see a regular doctor for your physical. Have you ever had a physical before?"

"No sir. I haven't even seen a doctor, except Dr. Johnston."

"You never had a physical? What did your mother give the school when she enrolled you?"

"I don't know."

"All right, after this physical, I am going to ask Mrs. Schwartz to look for your physical report. If there isn't one in the file, we will give her a copy of this one. Mrs. Granger, when will you take Susan for her physical?"

"Tomorrow, I have already made the appointment, even before we went to court. And it's Anna."

"All right, Anna. Will you make sure that we have three copies of the physical report?"

"I certainly will."

We got to IHOP, and Mr. Marks parked almost in the back. We walked to the front door, and went in. The hostess greeted us, and took us to our seats. She handed us our menus, and a waitress came over with our water. She asked if we were ready to order, and we said we'd need a few minutes. I asked if I could have the two pancakes, toast, and milk. Everybody said that sounded good, so when the waitress came back, we ordered that. The waitress left to put our orders up.

We talked while we waited. Mrs. Marks said that Cindy was really worried that the judge wouldn't let me live with Bobbie's family, but her husband had said we had already won, because the judge was able to see me as I really am in her chambers. All she is waiting for is the physical report before she makes her decision. But Mr. Marks said I will be living with the Grangers, and that Mrs. Granger has a lot of repsect in the children's court, because of all the children she has fostered temporarily. So we had nothing to worry about.

The waitress brought our orders, and we sat there and ate. Bobbie wanted to know, that since it is only one o'clock, if we could all go shopping. The adult men seemed to hem and haw about having other things to do, but that Mr. Marks would drop us at home, so Bobbie's mother could get their car. We kinda giggled, because everytime a woman mentions shopping, the guys get this 'I have something else to do' attitude. We continued a while after we were through eating, because the adults had ordered more coffee. Then about ten minutes later, Mr. Marks paid the bill, and we went out to his car. Once we were all in, he backed out of the space, and we headed for home.

All he was doing was taking us home, so we could get Mrs. Granger's car, and go shopping. On the way home, Mrs. Granger asked me if I wanted to stay in my dress, or did I want to change into something else.

"Mom," I said, looking like I did something wrong. "I don't need to change. It is easier getting out of a dress to try something on, than it is jeans and a shirt."

"You are so right, dear. When we get home, I want to get something from inside the house, and then we can go to the mall. Cindy, do you want to come too?"

"Yes, Mrs. Granger, I would really like that."

"And what about your mother? Do you think she would like to come too?"

"Oh, not me, Anna. I have to start getting dinner ready, and since you were all kind enough to have us over last night, why don't you come over and have dinner with us tonight. Besides I think Mr. Marks may still want to talk to all of us about court."

"Yes I do, actually. But you ladies go and have a good time shopping. I'm sure Mr. Granger and I can find something to keep us busy in the meantime." We all giggled, and poor dad and Mr. Marks looked puzzled.

DAD. I like the sound of that. I never had a father in the house, and I even called Mrs. Granger mom, and she didn't even correct me. Could it be, that I have found the family that I need so much. I mean, auntie Caroline and her family are really nice too, and I do have a lot of friends up north, but I would really rather be here. Maybe, we can all move up north. Maybe. Anyway that was something to think about. Maybe I can talk to them at dinner about it. I mean, here in the city, I had Bobbie and Cindy, and a few other friends, but mostly, I just hung around with Bobbie and Cindy. I guess that was because they were both very instrumental in getting those creeps off of me last year, when my mother said I had to go to school here. I had only been up north for the summer. Since then, Bobbie, Cindy, and I became as close as sisters.

We got to our house, and we got out, and waited for mom to get what she needed, and get to the mall. When she came out of the house, she said let's go, and we all piled in the car. We dropped Cindy's mother off at their house, so she could get the dinner going, and we headed for Southridge.

The Southridge Shopping Center, was located on the city's south side. and there were a lot of ways to get there. We took South twenty-seventh street, and turned into the parking area. I guess it didn't matter where we parked, because the parking lot was the same size as any super market's. We all got out of the car, and waited until we were all together, and then we went in to J.C. Penny's. That was the only department store in the chain of stores in the center. We all went to the ladies wear department, and right away Bobbie, Cindy, and I got carried away. I went over to the dresses, and was looking at them, taking a few off of the rack and holding them up in front of me, to see how they would look. I chose three to try on, and went to the changing room.

The first one I tried on, was a sort of party dress, and was lavender in color, and had lace on the front, the short, puffed out sleeves, and the hem. Okay, so it was a little on the ultra girly side. Who cares. I have a right to be ultra girly. I giggled out loud, and Bobbie heard that. She peeked in so she could see what I was giggling at, but nobody else could see in.

"Oh my gosh, sis! That is the prettiest dress I have ever seen. I'm jealous." We both giggled, and then she told Cindy she had to see it. When she peeked in, she let out an audible gasp.

"Oh my gosh, girl, you are going to knock the boys down with that dress." Mom came over to see what all the excitement was about.

"Wow! Susan, you look absolutely beautiful. I need to get a picture."

"Mom, I don't have the right shoes for this dress, and the picture would be off because of that."

"You're right, dear. Let's find a nice pair of shoes to go with the dress, and then I want a picture."

Oh uhm, yes, when mom went in the house, that was to get her camera. Still wearing the dress, we went over to the shoe section, and we picked out a nice pair of lavender pumps, with one inch heels. I tried them on, and they fit perfectly. We took them over to the changing room, and mother took a picture of me standing in the middle, and Bobbie and Cindy on either side of me.

"Susan, you look like a darling angel. This is how you should look. You're a girl, and you should be allowed to show it off. When we get home, I want to do something with your hair, and then take another picture. All right, take the dress off, and let's look around at a few more."

"I have two others to try on yet, mother. I know that I want this one."

She smiled at me and told me to try the others on. They weren't nearly as breathtaking as the first one, but I was looking for school dresses. The next dress was periwinkle, and came to my knees. The upper part hugged my body perfectly. I did a twirl in the changing room, and watched how the dress fanned out. Perfect. I wanted this one. The next dress was knee length too, and had a scoop neck, and gathered at the waist where it met the bodice. I did a twirl in this one too, and it fanned out perfectly. The cream color matched my complexion perfectly. I took this one, also. After getting back in my regular clothes, I took the dresses out, and laid them neatly in the shopping cart, along with the shoes.

After I had tried on these three, we went looking at more. I told Bobbie it was her turn, and she said that she really didn't want anything right now. I asked Cindy if she wanted to try on a few things, and she also said no.

"Girlfriend, the reason I wanted to go shopping, was so we could be here for you, when you tried on your new clothes. This shopping trip is for you."

"Sis, you need clothes. All the hand me downs will still work, but you need clothes you can actually call your own. We're here for you."

I broke down. Dang tears, they seem to come at the worst times. We sat on the bench just outside of the changing rooms, and I didn't care if others saw me or not. I was happy, and I am a girl, and I had a right to cry whereever I wanted to, for whatever reason. Bobbie sat on one side of me, and Cindy on the other. They held me from both sides, to show they were very serious about being there for me. Mom came over, and she just smiled, and handed me a tissue.

"Would you like to look at more dresses, dear?"

"Yes, mom."

I wiped my eyes, and then told everybody I needed to go to the ladies room to fix what little makeup I was wearing. I only wore a little makeup to court, because I wanted the judge to see me. I really did like this judge, because she wasn't going for any courtroom tricks, as Cindy's father called them. Bobbie, Cindy, and I went in the ladies room, and I had to use the stall first, and then after washing my hands, I repaired my makeup. My mother never knew I was paying such close attention, when I watched her take her makeup off, or put it on.

After repairing my makeup, we all went out and looked at more dresses and skirts sets. We also looked at separates so we could mix and match them. Mom let me get three more skirt sets, and three more skirts and separate tops. Next we looked at shoes, and mom let me get four pair. The skirts sets were very pretty, and in colors from black, turquoise, white with flower motifs on the front of the skirt and the top of the pullover. The separates, we got in brown, teal, and Socttish plaid with a matching top for each.

Mom paid the lady, and we took our purchases out to the car. This was nice compared to having to take the bus everywhere. We went home, and Bobbie, Cindy and I, went up to my room and put my things away. Then we just sat in my room talking mostly girl talk. Bobbie asked Cindy if her father had said anything about going back to court yet, and she said no, because he was waiting for copies of the tests. She reminded me that tomorrow mother was taking me to have the blood drawn for the testing. I wasn't afraid, but I did wonder if they were going to do any other testing.

Mom called us all down for dinner, and when we got to the table, father said grace, and we sat down and passed the food around. We had meatloaf, mashed potaotes, peas, milk for us and coffee for the adults, and for dessert, we had Dutch apple pie. As we finished dinner, the doorbell rang, and Bobbie's father answered it. It was Cindy's dad, and he had good news.

"We have a doctor that wants to take x-rays of your entire body, and wants to examine your private area, because he says it just might be possible, that you don't have any testicles. The testicles are what produce the male hormone testosterone, and that gives us our muscles, body and face hair, as well as the rugged male look, and our deeper, low voice range. At your age Susan, you should be exhibiting some of these features, and your voice that is changing, should be changing to a deeper tone, and low range. Instead, your voice is getting higher. Now we have known you since before you children started kindergarten. All of us here with you now, are convinced that you are turning into a young woman, because we believe you are going through female puberty. One more thing. Some boys and girls are what we call late bloomers; that is, they start puberty later on in their mid to late teens.

"You have already started puberty, and on time too. That is why you are dveloping breasts, and your voice is getting higher. The androgen in your body is just enough to give you the penis of a male, but not high enough to make you grow into a man. You will grow into a beautiful young woman, Susan, and we are all here for you. So what do you think? Will you go and see this doctor?"

"Yes sir, I will. I want to know too what is going on with my body. If I am growing into a young woman, then that is who I will have to be. I always knew I was a girl in here," I said, pointing to my heart.

"We agree with that. So we will do everything we can to see to it that you get your chance to grow normally."

"Then I will be happy to see this doctor."

"There is one more thing though. Your mother's attorney has a right to hire their own expert. But, if their expert finds the same things that our expert finds, then your mother will have two choices. Either raise you as her daughter, or sign away her parental rights, and let the Grangers raise you, along with Bobbie. So, if your mother's attorney does hire their own expert, you will have to see him too. But he can't see you, without me being there."

"If I have to, then I guess I have to. But if you're going to be there, then I will have nothing to be afraid of. Will you be watching this doctor examine me?"

"No, I will have my back turned all the time, but I have to be in the same room, so this doctor doesn't try anything, like get you to change your mind."

"I wouldn't change my mind anyway."

"I know, Susan, but there are some doctors hired by the opposing side, that will attempt to try anything. If I hear anything like that, I will put a stop to the examination immediately, and report him to the court. After I get my copies of the examination, I will go and get us another court date from the clerk. But right now, we have testing to get through. Just look at it like a school test. You don't really want to do it, but you know it's necessary."

We sat around and I told Mr. Marks about what I got at the store, and he said only a woman shops like that. I just sat there and smiled, and finally I kissed and hugged mom and dad, and Bobbie and I went up to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a very busy day.

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To Be Continued...