Letters from Sky - Part 9

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"...maybe you think I'm totally weird but, Mars; they feel good, and they are, and I've never gotten to before, ... they are just real important. I mean there are so many things to wear now...."


Letters from Sky


By Jan S

Part 9

 © 2008 by Jan S


>>Sunday, May 4th (night)

Hey MIKE!!!!
Great to get you letter. I really am sorry about all that. Just blew up I guess, and I'm really sorry, and I'm just so glad you're not all mad about it.

Yeah, the hair cut thing. Look, that was an accident, and she didn't really mean to do that or anything. Just a mistake. OK? It was about my costume and things. All right?

I'm really, extra glad you talked to Dad and got the things about school fixed up, man!! That's great news. The Old Guy and Marsha won't say anything to me about any of that.

Too bad you got to study so hard now too -- no faith, dude -- you shoulda knowed it would work out. Right?

Mars is all done with classes already she told. Now she's got three days for just reading and then just tests and papers due after that. You like that too? College is so neat like that, right?

Schools here get out on the twenty-third this year because Memorial Day's so early, you know? And they never have to go after that, and that's lots earlier then the schools back home. But they go back real early in August and get less holidays, I think.

You planning anything for the summer? It would be great if you and Mars might be able to come here for a visit or meet us somewhere.

So long for now,
Jude

P.S.: So look, around here lots of people call me Sky, like Marsha always did, you know? Why is a real long story, but so I'll probably start using that, OK? I kind of like it better than Jude these days, but I spell it Skye, which is this island pronounced the same way. You can call me Jude still if you wanna though -- just don't call me late for dinner. (HaHa)



>>Sunday, May 4th (night, an hour later)

Hi's Marsh,
Guess what!!

Michael wrote me today, so I guess he's over being mad. He didn't mind telling the little squirt that Daddy had said he'd help with money and stuff. So score one for Michael in the Who's Nicest Contest. :-P

I guess he's going to help you with it too, right? C'mon, Mar --Tell me already!

Gah, BTW I can't believe college is like that. You're all done! 'Guess I can't gripe about it this year, but I just got done with two hours with my math and science tutor, and she was a lot less funny than the writing guy.

So you're really doing that thing at the museum? And you get to sit in a backroom and mess with old books and tapes and stuff all day, during the summer, and you don't get paid, and this is a good thing? Blahhhh, Marsha!! OK, OK. But there is a reason I call you Martian sometimes!! (Just kidding, you know; I still like you, OK?)

Marsh, if you're staying at our mother's will I still be able to write to you? She won't like it, you know. What do you think?

You think there's any chance for us getting together this summer sometime? Or are you going to be all tied up all the time? I don't think our mother should know about that either, but maybe somehow. I'd like to see you is all, you know? But probably won't, huh?

I rode my bike a long way with Lisa and her friend, Amanda. There's a real long bike path that used to be a railroad behind the big houses and golf course, and it even has bridges over the big roads, and we went all the way to this park that has this really nice garden. Parts that are all like a rain forest and parts that are roses and flower beds. And lots of animals that mostly got hurt and were rescued in a little zoo part -- that's kinda sad -- but it was still nice and real fun. Amanda is pretty OK I think.

There were some boys there that kept looking over at us and stuff, but no one said anything, so it was OK.

So that's it.

Kaezee can study with IM on, and I've been talking to her tonight too. But I know how you just take studying more serious and don't want to get distracted and about the time difference.

So, I'm glad you are over Jim, I guess. Now, this George guy -- he sounds really nice!

Byes

Loves and Hugs,
Skye



>>Monday, May 5 (night)

Hi, Marsh,
No!! I'm not sick at al!! I didn't write this morning because Ms Y. was coming by, and I had to get my 'puter stuff all done early. She took me out to lunch and, yeah, I wore 'nice' clothes as Ann and Becky euphemistically called them.

(I got a vocab widget on my 'puter. :-P Did you know that some people use the euphemism for a euphemism for the bathroom -- because there are so many euphemisms for it. (Even bathroom is lots of the time, right?) It told me that.)

But I think Ms Y. is real weird still. But not in the weird way and stuff I was scared about before, or even about not having problems with me dressing like this. She said she knows that I had a hard year but not any of the details (like she wanted me to be sure of that), and that it just has to do with what she had told me before about liking to be able to say "yes" and all, and she just thinks I seem happier when in my "girl mood"; that's what she called it. And I said I'm not happier really but can be like it more, sort of.

Anyway, we has lots of fun, just us today. And she was real, real surprised to see me in "girl mood" when she showed up, and that surprised me, you know, because I'd thought that was the whole point. But anyway she was happy I was, she said, because she didn't really know what to do with a boy for a whole day (and she had come to get me before Andrea got there.), but knew what to do with a girl, and that meant shopping. And I was glad, because I wanted to go with her, because there were some things I think I needed, and I didn't know if Ann and Becky, or even Kaezee, weren't kind of going over board when they made suggestions. You know, for like going out to breakfast like we had, or something, but they were better for movie or hanging-out clothes for sure.

So that's what we did all day, well until about three o'clock when I had my appointment thing.

But you know what, Mars? She is real, real, real rich! Even more than I thought. I guess not Bill Gates rich, but up there. She says that her great-grandfathers had tons of money, but says that since she didn't actually pick her great-grandfathers that doesn't really make her different from people who didn't pick their real poor great-grandfathers. So, instead of just flying around the world, she is on all these boards and stuff and tries to use it for things, but isn't crazy and isn't going to give it all away though. But they have three houses, a mountain one and a beach one.

And at lunch we talked about a whole lot of deep stuff, not just why I like wearing girl things, but lots and lots. Like, she said that there is a disease that rich kids can get from hanging around poor kids, and it is that they think the money does make them better and that the poor kids tell them that too, and soon they can't tell the difference from a friend and someone who just likes hanging in fancy places and stuff and getting things from them.

And she said she thinks I won't give Lisa that disease, and that's one reason she likes me too. And that the disease the poor kids get is maybe worse because being a friend gets to be more like something to get paid for, but that it doesn't spread to everyone in their lives like the rich kid's one does. Did I say that OK?

She didn't call them rich kids and poor kids when she was talking though, because she meant even kids from families like ours that really are doing OK and Daddy's successful and all. And that being in our group can actually make it so you can get either disease, or both. And that's one reason that some rich people try to separate their kids at private schools and boarding schools too, but sometimes that backfires. And, OK, lots like that.

Daddy latter said he thought that Ms Y thought she was slumming it, living in that giant house with only three servants plus the gardeners, but it had to do with things that happened in her life that upset her but, of course, he wouldn't say what to me.

But she also said, when I complained about Andrea being grumpy last week, how she understood how annoying having people running around doing things for you was and that that was why people with lots of servants always had large houses, so they didn't have to watch (she always puts stuff in ways like that. :-P), and that was actually the reason why she came to 'rescue' me from Andrea for today. So maybe she just doesn't like having lots of peeps around either.

And Ms Y says that I have an intriguing mind, and she wasn't talking about me liking to be a girl at times then either, and that that didn't mean I made plots and schemes, because that's what I thought of at first, but I knew it means interesting too. But that it was how I had got her to talk like that, and talked about it back, and then she looked over, and I was sitting on my legs in the booth and was just a little girl, her daughter's friend. And don't you hate it when olds say things like that and all? I mean what do you say back, huh? But I like that she said it.

So, I like her a lot, Mars, she's weird and nice too, But she laughed when I told her she should try to get Daddy to take her out more (and I said that it was only so I'd get more babysitting money and could pay for the present that I had got him.). So I guess that idea might not be working out. (And Daddy kind of laughed pretty hard when I tried to hint about it too last Friday when eating out.)

But that was kind of what led to all that other stuff about friends too. Because, she said, the best person and best man she ever knew wanted a warm study full of books, a little garden to dig in, and a glass of nice wine a few times a week; and that having many houses with lots of rooms and large grounds and wine cellars meant he couldn't have any of those three things. And I guess that was Lisa and Wendy's dad.

But I got into all that and it's almost time to go to bed, and I haven't told you the important stuff!

I got two more dresses today and really, really nice ones! One is a dark green, real smooth one that has an empire waist with a ribbon that can be changed but comes with a white one and balloon sleeves, and the other is a dark blue one, because Ms Y says you always need to have one, and it's waist is regular and it has buttons up the front with like fake frogs that are light blue and is mid-calf, but not real heavy, and I got both of those at Nordstrum, and I kind of didn't want to because it was so much, but Ms Y. said I should. And I got a light blue, shiny skirt that is like all different places at the hem, like zigzagged, you know? One place is real high. And it has a fringe, and I got three new nice tops, two blouses: pale blue and plain and a peter pan collar the same color, and I got a gold pin, called a Celtic knot, to wear with it too, and a white one with three-quarter sleeves and a bow at the neck, and one yellow that has the long pieces to tie where boy clothes would have the tail, like the one of Lisa's I wore one time.

But I got some grungy stuff -- not grungy, like boys do, but just not as nice -- because Ms Y says I don't have to be a girly girl all the time, and I had already thought about that. So I got two regular Ts, but one with lots of flowers and one with playing puppies because, if you're gonna wear stuff a boy would wear, why be a girl, right?

And when I told Ms Y I couldn't wear pink because I was orange, she said, "Nonsense!" So I got a pink (but almost purple) top that's short and has frills on the sleeves and collar. But I didn't get any shorts or stuff; except a pair of blue jeans with bell bottoms and flowers, and some red blue jeans with straight legs, and these real cute yellow shorts, and some sweat pants that only come to just below the knee, kelly green ones and bright red ones; even though Ms Y wanted me to, because I explained about having all your old stuff, which already gave me lots of those things, but the jeans all being too long and those sweat pants not being around way back then I guess.

I think she wanted me to stop borrowing Lisa's, so I got lots of panties, four packs, and I just got plain ones because Ms Y was with me and all. I mean with designs on them and good colors and stuff, but not like the ones we looked at on Saturday. :-P And I got them with the waist at lots of different places and things too, And I got them all too small though, Ms Y. thought, and I didn't explain it to her why (I mean she should get that, after what she got me.). And I like them, they feel good, and I think my favorite are actually the just plain white ones with just little ruffles on the legs, but they aren't so tight so some things they won't work with for me without something else, but they look cute I think, and I also like the low cut, but not bikini ones that have flowers embroidered on the waist, and so now I can wear them all the time. Kaezee explained how the Victoria's Secret stuff wasn't good for very unusual kinda girls usually, except on top of other things, and regular tight panties can be better and quicker to get into.

I got three bras too, Marsh. :-P I didn't get real padded ones or anything, I don't want to be a lady like yet, so the regular ones are OK (well a little added, you know.) Kaizee has some special forms to use, and she has started to grow because she's been taking pills for it for over a year, but isn't as big as Becky yet, who's fourteen and not that big.

OK. You're loquacious kid sis is done now. This got almost as long as yesterday's monster, huh?

But know what else, at the very end Ms Y got mad at her self -- you know, not really, she just said it -- because we forgot all about shoes and have to go back on Wednesday. And I told her I got the six pairs on Saturday, but she thinks I need at least two more of real good ones for dressy things and some new tennis shoes in a different color than blue, which would be good.

But, BTW she didn't buy all that stuff, she just took me. Because that would have been like having that disease she said about, true? But I asked Daddy to gave me a charge card before he left this morning, and also, except for the two real nice outfits, we got it all at Macy's and Limited too, and those place, and Filene's Basement and Target too.

But it was an awful lot of stuff, I guess. How much money does Daddy have, do you think? I think he gets lots more out here than he did back home, but I don't know how much. And he kinda growled when I asked for the card, but not real seriously at all. But you know what? He never did ask anything about what I had bought and anything, and I guess he knew that I was going to buy things like I did and did on Saturday too.

But, Marsh, he must just be totally OK with it, right? Is it maybe just not all that weird after all? Everybody almost all around here seems to think it's OK anyway. I mean Ms Y, the kids, Becky and Ann, everybody in the world. And sometimes that makes me feel weird too, because I know that my doing all this and doing it so much is weird!!!! Big Time Weird.

And listen, Mars, I know I talked and talked about clothes and shopping a lot for two real, real long letters now, and maybe you think I'm totally weird but, Mars -- but they feel good, and they are, and I've never gotten to before, you know? It's like Kaezee said they are just real important. I mean there are so many things to wear now. And, Mars, it just feels nice to now. Is that weird? It's not like I like to because it's something dirty. I mean, I know some boys might, but it's just different. I can't say it well, is all. Is that OK? If our mother ever knew she would kill me, I know. What would Michael think? Ms Y. is like it's OK, and so is Daddy, because he sees me in nighties and PJs, and I wore one of you old camisole tops last night, and he didn't even notice, I think. So it is OK with lots of people, so it's not crazy or perv, right?

But there is another thing I want to tell you too. There were these boys that were riding skateboards at the park on all the walks and stuff yesterday, and we were sitting on the little kids play ground things, you know, the little rocker things on springs shaped like animals, and drinking, and I said something funny about Brad Pitt, and Amanda likes him lots, and she pushed me off mine, and I fell on the ground with my legs way up. And this boy was looking over, you know?

But he was looking right, right at me, right there!! When I was like that. And OK, that is one of the things about being a girl, and it's OK to show those shorts because that's their real purpose and all. And I know that I didn't have bulges, I think, because I'd checked, even though I'd had to kind of rearrange things for the bicycle, so I don't think he saw something like that. But Marsh, I think it's that boy that's Zack's partner in Fly Fishing! And he was looking and with his mouth open.

And Kaizee says to add it to my list of things to forget about, and I am, and that he probably would have looked like an idiot looking at any girl, and he probably didn't know it was me because lots of people look alike, and that most people don't decide that you're a very special kinda girl when they see you even if your lips are thin or jaw too big a little, because lots of other girls have that too. And that it might not have been him anyway.

And Lisa wants to tell Amanda, and I'm afraid she will, even though I have blackmail things on her, because Amanda might not even care or understand or already know about that thing. And Ms Y says that there will probably be more people that I have to tell, and even said that Amanda would be one of the best ones to let in on it, but that there are lots of people that will understand.

And I don't want that, Marsha!! You know!! Because they won't understand no matter what they say, OK?

And I don't know if all these people that "understand" now are trying to get me to do this stuff more and more too. But sometimes I think they are, and I'm glad because it's OK when I'm like that, but still the more that know then -- I don't know what. I just keep getting it all mixed up. A lot, I guess.

So, OK. I guess. I just feel better like this, but -- I don't know why -- or what I mean. You know?

I think Kaezee might be back from her meeting by now, or maybe a bath, and I got to do my hair tonight. OMG it is real late!!!

Bye

Loves and Kiss!!
Skye



>>Tuesday, May 6 (very early morning, forty minutes after last letter)

Hi again,
This is just a PS to the long letter earlier is all.

Since you got all exams and papers and stuff, do you want me to stop writing so much??

I can, you know. I know how extra crazily serious you take all that stuff and all?

Loves and Hugs
Skye



>>Tuesday, May 6 (night)

OK, OK, Marsh,
Geez, I won't stop already! OK? I hope you don't mean I am the break in your day because the stuff I say is so dumb and funny. ?? Because I could sure see some people doing like that, but I couldn't see you doing it though, so alright.

So the only reason I didn't write this morning was because Daddy told me to be sure to get all of yesterday's computer stuff done first thing and to get caught up. And I guess I should know all you've seen today is what I sent yesterday, because it's already tomorrow where you're at, but I know college people stay up real late so maybe you will still get this today, huh?

Nothing to give you a break though. Not even Zack at origami class did anything except laugh when he looked at me, and even the boys at his table and other girls got annoyed at him for it, and he stopped. Lisa and Amanda and I all three started on our finale projects in pottery and are going to try to make like fake flowers out of clay, and the teacher says that's the hardest of the choices we had. Oh, I got my bowl thing back and it turned out to be green and yellow instead of the colors I'd wanted. (It's a plot! Even the rec center won't let me have something pink!) But it is real pretty.

Then I met with my Social Science tutor. Can you say "Dull". Not him so much, just the stuff. I don't get it, Marsh, if history is so good when they do movies about it, why does it have to be dull to study? OK, /whine.

So now I feel bad about not writing an uber long, long letter. :( But I got to write something to Michael. Did he tell you what I told about the haircut thing? Well, he wants me to talk more about it, and I don't know if I want to, but I got to at least say I'm not. And I even signed off with Kaezee to think about that.

Bye.

Loves and Hugs,
Skye

P.S.: I've got my doctor's appointments change to the mornings now because I don't have school. And I won't be around when Andrea gets here. So, no morning news casts tomorrow, and I'm going to lunch and buy shoes with Ms Y., but in the afternoon. OK?



>>Tuesday, May 7 (almost midnight)

Hi, Mike,
OK, yeah, you know, I'd heard that poem about "no man is an island" thing before and stuff, but thanks for calling me that still. Maybe I'm not an island either, but I still like that name. And I'd read about it on line, but I didn't know that was where you and Dad went and caught a salmon, and all I got was a t-shirt that said "all I got was a t-shirt", when you went to England that time. But, yeah I'd thought it seemed real nice and empty when reading about it too.

You don't think it sounds too girly like, do you?

But about the haircut thing and her, you asked about. I guess you're right and should hear it from somewhere.

So, I guess it started on Halloween last year. I didn't have any plans. I'd only been there for about six weeks, and there weren't a lot of peeps for me to get to know anyway, but there was this one little kid, I don't know, a couple of years behind me, and he had a sister, who was in eighth grade at my school, and they lived next door.

Anyway, our mother didn't like me to spend time with them much, she didn't like me to go anywhere much.

But on Halloween they drove into their house just as we were getting home, and the boy was in his costume already, because they had had a class party probably, and he was a hobo BTW.

So the lady asked what I was being and stuff, and I said nothing because I had forgotten about it. And the lady was like: "Oh, come over, and we'll get you fixed up."

So she didn't want me to, I could tell, but she didn't want to say that in front of a grown-up.

So the girl tried to invent a costume for me, and the best, besides just a sheet to be a ghost, was this old like table cloth around me and a blue clown wig and an old shirt to be a bag lady, which went along good with the boy's hobo, and they got old towels inside my shirt to make real big boobs, you know. And I had four shopping bags that could be for candy, and we made them look already full. And they thought it was real funny, and I got it all off before I went home.

Then two days later she was at the grocery store and saw their mother and saw the pictures from Halloween, and came home and yelled about how awful I was, and that her son didn't do things like that, and lots of stuff, and then decided it was my hair that gave them the idea, and the costume had had a wig, and my hair was still short then because it had almost been cut off just before school, remember? But she decided to shave it, and her shaver for her legs got all filled up and she found the thing I'd used to take the stickers off of the new mirror in a drawer. And I guess I was upset too, because she called me cry-baby, and I shouldn't act like that too, and it just got her worse, and then I guess I jerked my head, and the cutter thing slipped, and I started to bleed and she left and blocked the door so I had to stay.

But I don't think she really meant to do it, or anything. And, Mike, she has always not liked me, and I made her unhappy, you know? At least some, some times. And she got more like that starting last year and then more when we moved, and then all the time. And she also thought Daddy was to blame for it, which is why she wanted a divorce, and he didn't act right about lots too, she said.

And so anyway that's what happened then, and then the stuff with the courts and all. And I guess you can know because you want too, but I wish I didn't know. OK?

OK, bye. Break a leg on all you test and stuff.

Cya, Skye

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Comments

The Scales of Gender

terrynaut's picture

It looks like the scales are tipping heavily in favor of female. :)

This story is so interesting. Not only is the format different, but Skye is different from most transgendered characters I've read about. She's falling so naturally into the life of a girl and for the most part she's supported -- perhaps even pushed a little -- and likes it. Of course there are some worries and self doubt but they aren't serious enough to stop her transition.

Anyway, thanks and I look forward to seeing the rest of this story. Please keep posting it. :)

- Terry

Wonderfully Frustrating

Some information revealed, other information hinted at, new revelations. All lots of fun. Waiting to find out what is next.

Given the nature of the one sided email conversations, I wonder how much will still be unanswered at the completion on the series

The razor cut to his head was no accident, period.

The child is desperately trying to defend his mom, the mom who to the best of his recollection has never had time for him or shown him any affection. He refuses to admit she hates him yet warns his/her siblings not to let Mom know they are communicatiing.

Why is she this way? It seems she did show love to the others, long enough that the older siblings sided with Mom in the divorce or were they both at college and never saw how Mom abused the boy? Was she loving when younger? Why pick on the helpless boy?

BUT she did have the time while in her custody to try and isolated him, deny him friends, holidays and such. Her reaction to the Halloween costume IN PUBLIC days after was way over the top . Even if she feared for the child, a normal mom would take him to the barber and asked for a buzz cut, not shave his head with a woman’s body razor. And even if he panicked and his fidgeting caused the accident, why lock and baracade him in a bathroom?

Now I see why he had to break that window and escape. Scalp wounds bleed like pigs. They are rarely fatal but she was refusing to treat him. It was like she wanted him to die or she wanted to ignore him. The mom should have called the paramedic, she should have taken him to the doctor or emergency room, not lock him up without any assistance. The Mom should have gone to jail for this, why didn’t she? Does she have powerful friends? This is child endangerment at a minimum. A utility razor/paint scraper for cutting hair? The woman is a paranoid schizophrenic and need help before she kills someone.

An engaging story with lost of funny amusing stuff in addition to the serious stuff but Mom scares me. Why is she so twisted towards the boy? Great work so far.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Marvelous

Yes, Letters from Sky is different, and marvelous. Jan set out to write a simple tale of a boy who found herself and along the way, it got richer and richer. This is one serial a reader can't start in the middle. If like me, you want to be sure a story's going to end before you start reading it, don't waste another minute -- hop back to Chapter 1 and dig in! Sky's story will continue till the end (Chapter 16, as I recall) and all the loose ends of the several back stories will be nicely tied up. That's not easy to do via a string of e-mails from a syntactically challenged (or perhaps just 'original') thirteen year-old, but Jan has done it.

Hugs,Daphne

Daphne