Day four Tuesday

“My lord I feel so good.” I giggled at the sound of my voice. It was real too real. I pinched myself and yelped. I got up stretching every way possible. I was flexible before, but now I was even more limber. My toes were still painted but my feet looked narrow, smaller. The smooth skin of my legs held fine invisible hairs that made them feel even better then they did when they were shaved. The thin line I had left ended nicely at the top of my V. I wanted to inspect it, but I lost my nerve as I ran my hand across my stomach. My breasts were the largest change as noticeable as not having a package. I held them and let them drop back into shape. They didn't look much bigger than the breast forms and I put on my bra, and it worked even better. Not that I needed the bra as they're nice and firm. Even the nipples were nice not too small or too big. I looked in the mirror and saw no change from the minor refinement I saw yesterday. Nose was a bit smaller perhaps. Though I had to admit I looked more like my sister than ever before.

I took the bra off and took a shower touching myself down there made me jump. It was very sensitive which felt good, but I hoped would calm down over time. I let my hair down after I was dry and the oil had soaked in. I cleansed my face properly before getting dressed. First the panties that didn't look right with a gaff now fit tightly and comfortably. I put the matching bra on and it gave them a bigger impression as they were pushed up and together. The blue dress drew me to it, but I couldn't take it off the hanger it was too much. I resisted and put on a peasant blouse and a skirt. I added thigh high stockings which tickled my legs. I frowned as I tried each shoe I had and nothing fit. I settled for flip flops and no stockings. For my hair a simple banana clip held it out of my face.

I was Sara now and there was no way I could bring Sean back to the front or could I? I tried to visualize myself as Sean, but I still felt like Sara. I had lost the anchor of my deep voice and I dug out the modulator. I fiddled with the controls until I sounded like myself even though the female voice sounded like myself. Nothing changed. My mood dropped as I couldn't bring Sean out. I hoped that I had not lost my former self. Maybe I somehow merged personalities? I wouldn't know until I was around others. I smiled and then frowned. How would they react? How would Max act? Jewel really liked how I made love to her, but now I couldn't scratch that itch anymore. I started to cry knowing that a part of me had died. Like I had finished a book and killed off the best character. The one that needed to live. Nearly an hour passed before I could calm down. What do women do when they are down? Eat chocolate and ice cream? Neither one was in the house and eating to sooth would not be healthy. I smiled as I thought of shopping. I did need to do so and maybe it would help to distract myself. I looked at the time and grabbed my purse. I checked that I had everything and then added lip gloss.

Satisfied I opened the door and stepped out. Once the door was locked Megan opened her door. I smiled and did a small wave.

“So how did it go?”

“Worst and best day of my life.”

“Want to talk about it? I couldn't help but overhear you crying.”

“Thank you, but I am better now, really.” She gave me the I don't believe you look before smiling.

“Okay, but I'm here if you need a shoulder or a hug.” She came forward and her presence changed and I backed up to the door again. “How ever I could just order you, Mouse.”

“That's okay, but I would need permission.” It was the only thing I could think of to resist.

“So new and you already have a master. Still I can do things he can not.” I smiled as she leaned forward.

“Jewel is not a he.” Megan stepped back as my smile broadened. She pouted, but then quickly smiled.

“Then I will just have to get permission. Though that is the strangest collar?”

“It is a collar, but not the type you are thinking of. A collar is a solemn promise that I haven't fully comprehended yet.” I turned and stuck the key in my door. I had the modulator off and the door locked back up before Megan replied.

“Then you are learning. I wish I had the connection to start such a journey. I thought I could with you as you finally came out.”
“Megan I don't know where any of this leads. Can we talk about it later? You still have to talk about your story. Dinner tonight something simple?”

“Are you asking me out?”

“As a friend.”

“You seem to have...” Megan felt the change Sean as Sara was very meek. To see Sara as a true woman had brought back some of the resistance to her. There was something definitely wrong. Sara should have melted into her arms yet she resisted without stress.

“I have, but I don't have the time to talk about my transition.” I shocked myself being so forward. “I have to go. Dinner tonight?”

“You appear different but ya I'd like that.” I smiled until she went back into her apartment. I rushed down the stairs and out onto the street. I had money in my pocket and a check to deposit. I stopped at the bank. I fidgeted until I got to the window.

“How can I help you today?”

“Hi, I need to deposit this check into my account, and I have to present this as well. You are looking at a soon to be published author.” She looked shocked as she saw the amount and at my ID. “Oh I have had some changes.”

“I'll say. Everything looks in order. I will need one of the managers to sign off on this. You should have gone directly to one of them.”

“That's okay you're prettier.”

“Um, you're pretty too.”

“Thank you.” It had gone well so far and I didn't expect any problems that couldn't be sorted out. The manager asked a ton of questions until I got upset. He knew it as I took a large breath and let it out.

“Call the number on the phone and ask for Betty Payne or Mr. Gavin. I am sure if they can't convince you, I can take my business to their bank.”

“Miss Hawke I do understand, but we have to make sure. This amount is large and the regulations we have to follow are very demanding. I do have to protect not just the bank's interests, but yours as well.”

“Then you understand that some of your questions are personal in nature and not bank related.” I knew this was his job, but I had all the paperwork i could ever need to speed this along. The looks I had been getting were starting to bother me. Then it hit me as another man arrived and I knew i had attracted the attention of the bank president just from the picture on the wall.

“Is there a problem here?” His tone was friendly, but held an underlying feeling that he was not pleased.

“No sir. Just following procedure.” He looked over the paper work and signed in a few places.

“Leave Miss Hawke to get on with her day.”

“Sir?” All he did was move his hands behind him and a chill ran down my spine. The young manager paled as he spoke.

“Don't question me. Sara Hawke is a very private individual and a client of Hatchingsworth Publishing House. To put it simply she will be one of our top account holders very soon. If you do anything to lose her as a valued member you might want to brush up on your cooking skills. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Please I don't want anyone to lose their job over red tape?”

“My apologies then. I'll handle the rest. Oh and if you change your name ask for me directly.”

“Sean or Ryan will work for me still. Sara Rae is my pen name, but I think I will change it.”

“Understood, Miss Hawke.” He smiled nicely and I returned the smile. It was really satisfying to have a bank treat you well. Then again I wish they did this with all their customers.

Shopping was like I had never been shopping before. The colors seemed brighter and the fabrics softer or smoother. I consolidated my bags three times before my arms started to burn. I really should have thought this out. Maybe I should have hit the higher priced shops, but I really didn't want to take a taxi there and back. I did take one back to the apartment. He even carried them up the stairs for me with the tip I gave him. It had happened before, but as a man I was too stubborn to accept the help. I didn't stay long as I had some more things to pick up, my stomach growled and I went to my favorite joint before heading out for the second part of my shopping trip. I found these nice pumps and they had a tall heel, that would go great with the dress. I was shocked when the clerk told me they were six inches. The shoe was raised or I would have never been able to wear them. Still it was the first time I felt unbalanced wearing high heels. The effect on my legs was amazing. The clerk was so impressed that he nearly drooled. Somehow I felt weird once I noticed. I had switched out the flip flops for a Roman style sandal that made me wish it had a heel, but saved me the pain. I giggled as I walked down the street to the next store. I didn't have as many bags as before, but some groceries and a nice bottle of wine. I hoped Megan drank wine. I tiptoed up the stairs and there was Max, and Jackie waiting for me.

“About time you showed up. I thought you had disappeared.”

“If it wasn't for Megan we would have broken down your door. Don't you have your cell?”

“I forgot it, here hold this.” Max took the bags as I dug out my keys. I threw the door open before walking straight to the kitchen. “Max I need some of those bags in here.”

“Someone has been shopping. Ooo, now these are killer. Size four?” Jackie followed Max in the kitchen, then he helped put the items away. I could see he was furious. This was not the first time this had happened. I wondered what had changed? “Sara can you explain these shoes?”

“My feet got smaller.” She rolled her head until it rested on a slight angle as she held out the heel with one finger. All she needed to complete the look of I don't believe you was a pair of glasses to look over.

“Kitten feet don't change.”

“Then watch.” I took the sandals off and slipped both shoes on. Jackie stared as I took small measured steps. I gave her a smirk and then noticed what she was staring at. I blushed as I lifted her chin.

“Then I guess I was wrong.”

“You know we were worried about you and all you have to talk about is shoes. Can you at least tell us what happened?”

“I got in. They are going to publish my book, or couldn't you tell with all the bags in the living room?”

“Well wow. I didn't think it would work, but why are you still Sara?” I blinked at him then I looked at Jackie. She shrugged so I decided not to tell him. I suddenly felt weird. Our relationship would change instantly if he knew I was a natural female. The fact that neither of them had noticed I wasn't wearing the modulator hit me. If he didn't notice then I wasn't ready to tell him.

“I'm going to change.” I turned to leave.

“Okay so should I open the wine you got?”

“No that is for later.” I then walked out of the kitchen and into my bedroom. In a rush I stripped down, put on some jeans, a belt and a tee after I found the sports bra I had gotten. I went back out and put the modulator on. I wondered if he would notice now. I couldn't hide my chest without a tight wrap. I thought about turning the device on to lower my voice, but then it would have been too much. I found myself doing it anyways.

Hey Sara I think we should go out and celebrate.” Max suggested as I came back in.

“Maybe, but not tonight.” They both looked at me funny. Did he notice now?

“Sorry Sara... Sean sorry, I guess I can't call you by that name anymore.”

“Don't worry about it. I have to tell you that even I think that I am more Sara than Sean now.”

“It is strange to think of you as a boy, but hearing your voice well it gives me goose bumps, and doesn't suit my mind's eye.” Jackie stated.
“So you want me to turn the device on?”

“If you feel comfortable with it.” Max replied. Could I really do that? I scanned his face waiting for the realization from him that I wasn't Sean anymore. “Hey did I say something wrong?”

“No, no just I never thought I would hear you say that.”

“Well to be honest I kinda wished you were a girl.”

“Ha ha, you are funny.” We all laughed. This would really hit him hard when the truth came out. Max stayed for a little bit longer. I didn't see when he left as me and Jackie got busy putting all my new outfits away. He really wasn't the type to deal well with girl talk.

“Penny for your thoughts, and please turn that thing off. I like your new voice.” I blushed as I felt caught. Then I giggled as I turned the device off.

“Better.”

“Much better girl. How did this happen and is he gone down there?” I nodded as her eyes got bigger. Strangely she looked to be hiding something.

“I don't know how it happened.” I got up and dug in my case for the gaff and the breast forms. “I should clean these I guess.”

“No I better. They require certain care. Well not the gaff but please continue.”

“Well like I said I don't know. I noticed an itch halfway to the publisher and when I got there I had to use the bathroom cause my bra got so tight. I didn't even notice then that I had changed. Only as they ordered me to strip did I notice I was changed.”
“Wait they stripped you naked? You must have been terrified.”

“Ya I wasn't the only one to try this. It's okay now I just find it kinda funny. They were just as shocked as I was. I found out that they were heavily into dom/sub stuff.”

“Ooo, interesting.”

“Maybe I will tell you sometime, but I should get going. Though I have to say they were at a different level.”

“Going? Do you have a date?”

“No nothing that serious. Just having dinner with Megan across the hall.”

“Oh I will want details girlfriend. You still didn't tell me about down there.” She pointed while she talked.

“He's gone and I feel odd, but not panicky about it. I do hope this sensitivity calms down.”

“Well I will be going so you don't miss your date.” She winked. “But if you need help figuring it out just let me know and write down exactly what happened yesterday. It is always something simple that we missed.”

“Okay I'll do that.” I looked down at the ring and felt I should have told her about it. Maybe I should just take it off tonight?

“Kisses.” We kissed each other on the cheek and she left as well. I sighed and then knocked on Megan's door for the first time. She opened the door and was wearing a simple baby doll dress. I found it cute.

“Hi.” She looked me up and down.

“Hi um I know it is not a date, but can you wear a dress?”

“Oh sorry I have just the outfit oh I hope wine is okay.”

“Yes it is fine, but don't take too long and the door will be open.”

“Okay.” I rushed to get changed and I felt much better in the dress I picked out today. It was black and full length with turquoise lace on the back and front hem. It came up to my neck and on the back it was completely open down to my hips. It was more for the beach, but I found it so comfortable and it was on sale. I felt a bit exposed so I put on a pair of satin shorts. No need to tease as well. I got the wine and headed back over.

“Oh that is a nice dress.” I turned around and she growled. We both laughed. “It would be better if you were topless.”

“Oh and raise the temptation level? Is red going to work?”

“Yes it will be perfect, I'll get it open so it can breath.” I watched her open the bottle. The little dress she wore was cute, but way too high for me to be comfortable to wear it. Maybe I would change my mind when it got warmer?

“I like your dress.”

“I do too so dangerously short.”

“I thought the same thing. I like how you set up your apartment.” She pouted and then giggled. “What?”

“Don't like talking about dresses?”

“No it is not that. Just a bit uneasy being in your apartment.”

“Come now I know we have been neighbors in passing, but I didn't fail to see you watching me.”

“How come you never wanted to talk to me before?”

“Ooo, serious question. Well, I am into girls though if you had been a bit more open with your interest I may have made an exception.”

“Just because I looked like a girl?”

“Not just that, but it helped.”

“I thought this was going to be a normal dinner?” I wondered as I saw the candles on the table.

“Sorry I couldn't resist. I have to tempt you a bit.” A bit was looking like a lot as I noticed the way the table was set as well. She had set it so we wouldn't be sitting opposite of each other. Thought it did provide more room on the table. I helped her finish bringing everything to the table.

“To our new friendship and maybe more.” She proposed as we sat down. We took a sip of the wine and I let the flavor roll around before I swallowed. Even my tastes had magnified. “So tell how me how your day went yesterday and don't leave anything out.” I smiled and started from the time I woke up. She would ask little questions here and there. Which would bring back more detail. She looked shocked during the last few parts. I think she was more than excited and she wiggled in her seat. We swapped back and forth talking about everything I had bought today. It felt strange talking about things I normally left out. The hyper feelings I had and how I was confused that this wasn't such a shock. Then she asked a key question.

“So you and Max?”

“What about him?”

“Well you two can now do things together?”

“Ah well um... He didn't notice.”

“What how can he not notice, isn't he your best friend?”

“Yes, but I think that is why he didn't notice. He should have as I had these on display.” I paused for a second. “Then again he is a leg man.”

“You do have sexy legs.” Her hand brushed lightly on my thigh and I shivered. “Hey now. I'd rather wait until my body calms down.”

“Oh I think it would be explosive.” It was so tempting to kiss her right now. I took her hand off my thigh and squeezed.

“Ya and I don't plan on chasing that feeling for the rest of my life. I like you, but not yet.” She pouted and then nodded seriously.

“So enough about me. Tell me what it was like growing up into the woman that you are now.”

“Help clear the table and I will.” I giggled.

“You don't have to ask.”

“I didn't ask.” we laughed and she started telling me how it was so hard keeping the fact that she was a boy hidden. How it affected how many friends she had and how when she was twelve someone had found out and then outed her to the whole school. I felt for her and hugged her as she cried. It was her best friend who had broken her trust. She nearly succeeded in killing herself by the end of the school year. Any friends she did have were gone and the bullying was severe. She switched back to her old school. Hoping things would be better. The counseling had helped get back some of her confidence and again she rebuilt herself enough to gain new friends and even a new best friend. Who at the time was also her first crush. She had kept her secret until they went to high school and she ran into her old best friend and a few of the bullies as well. The rumor didn't take long to get back to her, but her new friends defended her. Still it caused her to fight with her best friend. She felt herself spiraling back down into the depression until her friend ordered her to woman up. It fixed their relationship and more. Having a different perspective her girlfriend did more to be her friend as they finally kissed. This is when she started to demand she submit to her.

“Wow, so you are a submissive?”

“No I can go both ways.”

“Oh.” She continued and as their relationship developed she gained a buffer from her friends. In her junior year she came out in front of the whole school, and so did her girlfriend. It changed how the school felt and once everything settled down six more students came out as something more than what people thought. It was hard but overnight her friends had doubled. By the end of her senior year she was collared for the first time, but she couldn't get in the same college as her master so the relationship failed.

“So that is me up to college.”

“Do you miss Amy?”

“Yes I still have her collar too. I want to give it back, but I hope that we will meet up again one day.”

“You never saw each other again?”

“Yes and no. I visited her at college and spent a week with her master. He didn't like me or I just wasn't ready for his style. Amy wouldn't remove my collar and she suffered for it. I think he got her to forget me.”

“Wow I don't know what to say.”

“It happens.” Her story was truthful but I knew a bit more than she thought. She refilled my glass as we both thought.
“If you could switch back would you?”

“I haven't tried yet. I do wish I wasn't blushing all the time.”

“I like it. It gives you an air of innocence. Maybe this was God granting you your inner most desire?”

“God wouldn't do that. That would be a desire of the flesh. He would want us to accept ourselves and work for who we needed to be. Though I think you know why I changed in the first place.” She was almost convincing that she didn't know what I was implying.

“What do you mean?” I held up my hand and pointed to the ring. She paled and then frowned before shame made her look away. When she looked back I slipped the ring from one finger to the other. I knew what would happen if I left it there too long and as she sat there thinking I moved it back.

“Mistress Rayne saw didn't she?”

“She did and was impressed I think, on how much you changed it. For whatever reason you did this I am not mad at you. I just want an explanation.”

“I fell in love with you or the image of you looking so much like a male version of Amy. I thought if only I could get you to want to be a girl or be lead to dress as one then we could be together. My desire to have you made me change you, change the ring and ruin everything.” She started to cry and I reached out and took her in my arms.

“I miss her so much.” I let her cry it all out.

“Its okay to miss her, to mourn what you had. However you have to move forward. I don't know where this could have gone had you just approached me earlier.”

“I couldn't have you were just too male. Too head strong for you to want me longer then a few interesting nights.”

“You don't know that? I could have fallen hard for you.”

“Ya right. As soon as I wanted to dress you up you would have split.”

“Maybe but I haven't run from you now.”

“That is because I changed you.”

“Did you really? Could I have not wanted this? I mean if I was so male why am I not freaking out? Why didn't I change back to me last night knowing I could?”

“I don't know?”

“Neither do I. I feel I should, but now I am afraid to. That or I am curious about everything a woman goes through.”

“Can, can we be friends?”

“Sure I would like that, but I want more.”

“I need time. The last few days have really been powerful. I need to figure out if this is truly what I want or ift I want to be Sean again. A relationship won't work until I am comfortable with who I am.”

“Then let's kiss on it.” My eyes went wide as her lips met mine. I should have pushed her off, but I yielded to her kiss and opened my mouth before kissing back. My body was suddenly on fire as her hands started to roam. I panted as she broke the kiss and started crying again. I held her as she buried her head between my breasts. As much as it hurt me to feel her pain. It hurt that she wasn't kissing me. Teasing me with her soft touch. Having her so close to me was more than I could handle yet I couldn't pull away. She needed me to hold onto. I could comfort her then I felt her calm down though her body was still heaving in silent sobs.

I did move as I felt a shock that made me shudder from my head to my toes. She shifted and the cause was clearly her hand between my legs. With just a thin dress and satin shorts I felt naked now. Her eyes yearned for me as my hands removed hers from causing any more fire. I guided her to sitting up as I straightened. She kissed me as I came to close to her lips. I tipped over the edge as my body reacted and everything exploded. It felt so amazingly good. Like nothing I could properly describe. My mind could only fathom that this was what a woman experienced during an orgasm, soooo satisfying. I wanted and feared another one. Our kiss broke and I blushed as we both giggled.
“You came.” I nodded shivering as I drew breath.

“I need to go.”

“Do you?”

“We can't do this not yet.”

“But why?”

“You need to accept the past and move on. If you don't, this will only sour quickly.” I got up and she sat there stunned. I took a step back and she started to speak yet the words were just like those I heard Mrs Rayne speak. I shook my head and grabbed my things before opening the door.

“Why can't you stay? Why is it not working?”

“Megan she freed me from any effect you made on me. This was her ring her power. Did you not think that she couldn't block you from me? Please stop and think. Let me choose you. Give me the chance. Let me see someone worth loving. As you are now I am afraid of you. Afraid for you. See a shrink or go back to Mrs Rayne and confront her. Find Amy and demand that she release you. Just stop trying to control me.”

“I'm sorry I need you.”

“No you need to let go or this will eat you alive.” I slammed the door and rushed to mine. I couldn't get the door open fast enough and wondered if it was such a good idea to stay home tonight. I panted in sudden fear, mixed with a warmth and energy from my first orgasm. Such things were never meant to mix. I felt that if I did try to leave I would have not made it past her door.

“I need a shower.”