In the near future, the real world is dying.

Every geek’s fantasy is coming true. Superheroes, dragons, spaceships, giant robots, zombies, scantily clad French maids…they have all become real. It is miraculous that civilization has not plunged into total chaos.

Steve begins to lose his temper, Chip begins to think of new names for the Sentori, and an evil prospector from a twisted alternate Old West begins to wreak havoc on Dirk's naughty magazine collection. Ha, gotcha on that last one! Although that's not too far-fetched at this point.

“Wait a second.” Steve said. “How do we transform back–to our ‘normal’ forms, I mean.” Before anyone could answer, Steve found himself declaring, “Super Sentori…SUNSET!”

Thankfully, there was no pop music as their clothing shifted back to their old jumpsuits.

“Wait a minute!” Dirk cried. “I think I’ve got it! Mike can shift us into Sentori form, and Steve can shift us back!” His face fell. “Only…that reminds me …”

“What is it?” Chip asked.

“Shouldn’t we get new names? We’re going to blow our cover real fast if we keep using our old ones. Besides, ‘Dirk’ doesn’t really fit me anymore.”

Chip rubbed his stubble-covered chin. “Good point. I’d been planning to alter your profiles later this week, but I’ll do it during the break instead. Come, let us replenish our electrolytes!”

As they followed Chip out of the training arena, Steve gave Dirk a vitriolic look. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Dirk shrugged. “Hey, whistle while you work. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dooot!”

“Oh, you son of a …” Steve growled. Mike stopped walking and covered his face, trembling from what could have been silent sobs or stifled laughter.

“Beep, beep, beep!” Chip exclaimed as they entered a sparsely decorated break room. “My sensors are detecting some serious animosity here! C’mon, let’s act like a team! Lose the hate and chug some V-8! We don’t have any V-8 right now, though. Stuff makes my guts run like the mighty seas of Bloofaria…whatever the hell that place is.”

Mike and Dirk headed into room, eager for refreshments. Steve, however, stayed near the door. “Chip?” Steve said.

“If you check those cabinets over there, we have some energy bars. I think those should still be good.”

“Chip.” Steve repeated.

“They’re expired? Man, I’m gonna kick Paul’s ass. Bastard promised he’d restock.”

“Chip...”

“No matter. See that mini-fridge? There’s some drinks in there. Sorry, no alcohol for you two–in my book, you’re under 21. And stay away from anything in a Burger King cup–that shit’s mine.”

“CHIP! SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!”

The room was soon filled with wide eyes and silence.

“I need to talk with you for a moment.” Steve said. Chip hesitated a moment, then cautiously ambled over.

Steve glanced at Mike and Dirk, who politely turned their attention to imbibing large bottles of Snapple.

“This whole thing is fucked up.” Steve said.

Chip nodded. “Yeah. What’s the problem?”

“The problem? For God’s sake, isn’t it obvious?”

“Those boobs aren’t as fun as you’d thought they’d be, eh?”

“No!”

“What, is it already that time of the month? I heard that takes some getting used to.”

“Ew! Jesus, no!” Steve’s face was like a boiler about to explode. “I–…”

“You’re pissed off again about being turned into a chick.”

Steve smoldered a bit more, then gave a deep sigh. “No…well yes, but it’s not just that. It has to do with Dirk.”

Chip waited while Steve collected himself. “He doesn’t have too many people close to him.” Steve said. “But Mike and I…there’s a lot of people who’ll be worrying about us tonight. We had so many plans, and even if we do get back to normal, I don’t know how we’ll pick up the pieces. And Dirk, he just skips along like this is his dream come true!”

“You make it sound like he’s your sworn enemy. Like you’re a Klingon and he’s a tribble.”

“No, he’s my friend…I just think he can be a jackass at times.”

“Okay, so you don’t like jackasses. Why are talking to me about this?”

Steve sighed again. “What I really wanted to ask is this: do you know if Dirk was responsible for this?”

Chip cocked an eyebrow. “You think he dragged you into this on purpose?”

Steve turned his palm to the side and waved it repeatedly in front of his nose, as if he was fanning away some wretched stench. He had no idea what caused him to make the gesture, but ignored it for the moment. “No, no, no. He’d never do that….but I doubt we became anime-style girls just by coincidence. I’m wondering if maybe something in his subconscious triggered this.”

A few seconds passed before Chip responded. “From what I know, that’s not possible. A fanboy can’t force someone else into becoming an Upholder, knowingly or not. Are you sure it wasn’t your mind at fault? Maybe deep inside, you can’t get enough of ‘Tokyo Mew Mew’!”

“No! Save for an occasional Miyazaki film, Mike and I never liked any anime.”

Chip was deep in thought. “Well, you were kinda slow in that training round. So, you swear you know nothing about anime?”

“Nothing, except that some people have unhealthy attitudes towards it. In fact, Mike and I aren’t really fanboys of anything.”

“That’s…well, interesting.” Chip murmured. “Hey, I have to get to work on your profiles soon. Anything else you want to tell me?”

“Not really. Thanks for listening.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m your animal mascot!” Chip said jovially as he left the room.

Mike looked weary as he took a sip of juice. “That’s already getting pretty old.”

Steve said nothing as he sat down next to Mike and Dirk, his mind lost in thought.

Chip whistled on the way to his favorite room in the facility. He even preferred it to the rec room, which had a fuckin’ badass ping-pong table.

“But in my office, I can get away with downloading furry porn.” Chip thought as he eased into his swivel chair. His superiors put up with it, at least to the extent that Childs had never complained. Maybe Childs was also interested in--no, that was just ridiculous.

Childs had a very specific set of expectations from his employees, and as long as they met those expectations, they had a good deal of breathing room. Although he was a bit demanding about getting email updates. Recalling the conversation with Steve, Chip booted up his PC and opened the mail client.

-----------

SUBJECT: Code Epsilon Level One

Mr. Childs;

Steven Yale shared some interesting info with me recently: he claims that he and Michael Tanner were not involved in any fan communities prior to Incident M2. As per the Redundant Observation Procedures Protocol, I’ve filed this as a Code Epsilon Level One.

-Chip Gilligan

---------

After he sent the message, Chip felt like his head was chocolate orange being knocked apart. If there was one thing he’d had trouble adjusting to, it was bureaucracy. Bureaucracy was like waking up in a moldy pile of leaves. Bureaucracy was like funnel cake infested by evil termites. Bureaucracy was like finding out that your real name is “Ornithopter Higgins IV.”

“Which reminds me,” he thought. “Time for a little profile reconstruction.” This was always fun.

Opening a new internet browser window, he Googled:

common Japanese names

He looked through the results earnestly, only stopping to write down a good possibility.